okay this is a big rant pretty much.

I am freaking mad tonight yet i'm also happy. and i'm confused as i think about my history on wattpad. girls that people i know are best friends with act exactly like i do and they love everything about them. i do anything that those other girls do and it's world war 3.

i'm 98 pounds

i've cried countless times over people hating me behind my back.

I've never had my first kiss offline

I haven't dated a single boy offline

i don't understand though how i make people cut. that's the thing that hurts most of all. i don't know what i do wrong. part of me just wants to stay in a corner and cry because i hurt people and another part of me wants to stand up for myself still. i want to just leave wattpad but it's where my only friends are. it's the only place i feel like i'm more than just a nerd....  on here i feel like i'm free. but every time i feel free people tug me down and i'm broken and bruised again.  on here i can post books and talk to people. offline all i get to do is write in my diary and watch birds.

i know i'm not perfect. i know i have alot of mistakes. but why am i always judged on them? why can't i just be happy without being judged? - Jade