*takes deep breath* I honestly don't know what to do anymore

For those who hasn't been on Twitter, Tumblr, or YT at all last night or just haven't seen, here's what happened: A girl, aniamags (I think it was her name) posted a video, warning fans to beware of their favorite YTer, and saying that a certain YTer, Jason aka VeeOneEye, tried to get her drunk when she was 16 and he was 20 in order to have s*x with her. (I used the * just incase WP has a breakdown or something).

At first I thought it was probably just a lie (I didn't watch the video, I was too afraid to do so) because, well, it's Jason, he's a very sweet and caring boy with the fun hair, if you look up a picture of him, you wouldn't assume he could be capable of something like that. It wasn't until more and more people came forward that Jason came off as a bit, uncomfortable, towards them that I began to think that it was probably true. I just, I couldn't believe it. I looked up to Jason a lot and I loved his personality, his laugh, his content, his hair of course, and just, him.

I didn't full on believe everything was true until he posted a video titled 'Tonight' with him talking about why he did the things he's done, apologizing for everything he's done and for hurting anyone and saying that he will continue to try and contact Ania to apologize properly. I'll admit I did cry when I watched the video and I just felt like shit the entire night, while also attempting to get my mind off of things. Nothing worked and, I just felt, confused I guess.

One of the reasons I didn't reply to as much comments as I usually do yesterday after I updated LWTC was because I just didn't really, I just couldn't I guess. Even though I took it pretty bad, I know for a fact that there's people out there taking it much much harder.

Most of Jason's friends knew nothing of this. I couldn't imagine the shock and emotions they were feeling at the time they found out.

Bribry I believe has heard a few things, but didn't say anything and possibly feels guilty.

Luke probably just feels a bit, I don't want to say betrayed but in this case I believe that I should, and upset at Jason.

Emma, from what I've seen from her tweets, just can't seem to believe it and feels frustrated on what to do and from the people keep giving her shit for a lot of things (Also, fuck you to those who are giving Emma shit).

As for Patty, I have no idea, I haven't really seen anything from him on anything.

Damon says that he's still supporting Jason, but then deleted those tweets (Im assuming it's from the backlash people gave him).

Karim, from what I saw, is upset, but trying to lighten everyone's mood, which I appreciate (@KarimAbridged: "I guess u could say everyones at an...aLL TIME LOW!! *blasts weightless into all of ur ears* *breaks a friggen table*" Karim, no, just, *ends up giggling* okay, I'll admit that was a horrible joke but it made me laugh)

Marina says that she is proud of Jason for apologizing and that she respects his honesty. And people keep saying that she supports rape and sexual abuse (Also, fuck you to those who are saying that).

Pretty much, I think everyone is pretty upset over everything that's happened. This week, no this MONTH, has been nothing but just horrible things happening.

The reason I made this rant is to say that we should all just not expect our favorite human being to be capable of doing horrible things, that didn't make sense did it? Basically what I'm trying to say is that don't say things such as 'oh well MY favorite YTer would NEVER do that, sucks to be you' because we all know that's not true.

None of us expected Alex Day to be one of those people now did we? Or what about those who looked up to Sam Pepper? It's just a matter of time before we find out the way people truly are. Im saying this because there's possibly more people out there who we all look up to that are hiding something.

I mean, look at what Tomska said on Twitter: "5 down, 2 to go". These people (from what I've heard) were Alex Day, Ed Blann, Tom Milsom, Sam Pepper, and now Jason VeeOneEye. An earlier tweet from Tomska's twitter says "I'm afraid I can't share what I THINK I know in regards to abusive YouTubers for legal reasons - libel and slander lews, etc. However.... (1/2)" then sent out the tweet I said before. There's still 2 more abusers out there and I honestly have no idea who.

What really sickens me is that the YT community is keeping this from us. We all have a right to know this shit. For all we know it could be GrumpyCat (Always suspected him of committing some sort of crime.......I'm trying to lighten the mood).

So, last thing I want to say is this, whether you continue to support Jason or you decide to stop, I will not change my view of you at all. I can understand if you choose to stop supporting him and I can understand if you choose to keep supporting him. As for myself, I don't know. I have mixed emotions towards the whole situation, I haven't made a final decision. I am still subscribed to Jason, but I'm not sure on what to do.

I hope that those who are effected by what's happened (Emma, Luke, Bribry, Patty, Marina, Damon, etc, including victims of abuse and fans of Jason) feel better soon and I hope everyone soon just feels, happy. I can't say everything will be okay because I honestly don't know and I can't say we'll be fine in the future because we don't know who's next.

So, yeah, I pretty much don't know what to say. I guess what I should say is do NOT compare Jason and Shane Dawson (Yeah he's a lot of getting hate recently due to some offensive videos from awhile ago, even though he made an apology video) to Sam Pepper, they are no where near that. Just decided to say that.

Anyways, I guess I'm gonna go and attempt to get my mind off things. This is pretty much the only time I've talked about the whole situation because I don't think my friends are ready to talk about it and I can't talk to my family because they would never understand. So pretty much, rant book was the only option, and it seems like a good option too. I promise I will soon stop talking about the drama in the YT community, it's just, I gotta get this off my chest man. So yeah, I guess I'll go now, bye.

P.S. I suggest you check out the video Evan Edinger made "Sexual Abuse On YouTube", that's all I have to say.