Perhaps this isn't a bad thing, but I feel like I gotta get this off my chest anyway.

I've never been one to get very emotional about people coming in and out of my life. I've always kinda been "que sera sera" about which friends will stick with me and which will get left behind. I don't tend to actively miss people until I'm with them again and realize what was absent the whole time.

So... naturally, going off to college has never felt like that big of a deal to me. I'll be back over breaks, I've got a phone to keep in contact with people.... Not to mention I've already stayed at my college for at least 7 weeks (once for 5 weeks consecutively), and I'm really close with my roommates — nothing about college itself is really making me nervous in regards to the social aspect of it. And, in all seriousness, I'm not too worried about losing my good friends from back home because I know that our group has something that will survive any distance.

Despite this, though, I've been feeling.... sentimental. Just this deep desire to speak from the heart, to reach out to people, to open up, to strengthen friendships, to just... give love to the ones that make me feel whole. I want to be around them, just... exist in their presence.

It's like, deep down, I feel like I need to deepen my bonds with these people, or I might actually lose touch with them... It's like I'm trying to train myself to need these friends, so that I won't let them slip from my mind amidst the chaos of college.

I don't know. It's not really a bad thing, it's just a bit strange for me. I've always desired emotional connections with people, but this just... feels different. I don't know. Maybe this is a good thing. Maybe I've finally found the path that could lead me to a better understanding of myself....? Doubtful, but one can hope, I suppose.

In any case, I tend to feel better once I put things down in writing... So, here's to hoping my sentimentality doesn't just turn into uncontrollable mood swings, cuz uh.... that would be a whole other problem (>_<)