sometimes
they flee me

w o r d s

they hide in skies
amongst stars

I wish
they never hid

I wish
they floated like paper boats
light and easy for me
to snatch
to tweak

I wish
I could steal words
bare handed
and not be guilty

I wish
words never hid

I wish
words were turquoise gems
the colour of my essence
the colour of my spirit
the colour of my love

for

turquoise knows me
the top the bottom the right the left

and

the inside.

I wish
words didn't hole up
under my tongue
the roof of my mouth
in between my teeth

they are such beasts

cooking in caves
eating in caves
sleeping in caves

uncivilised apes

far away from my turquoise soul

I wish
they were my friends
lifelong affectionate hugging friends

I wish
they didn't dance in the shower
but paralyse in a rainstorm
sing national anthems
but bow their heads during a thunderstorm

I wish
words knew me better than I could ever know them

I wish
words called me their only friend

I wish
they came to me when I need them the most

I wish
my words were better than yours

I wish
words never eluded me

I failed them

I failed you

w         s

o                    d

r

hold my hand?       

(why do you scatter?)

______

©VioletEden

21stJuly2017

p.s. I am such a crappy orater. I felt like absolute s_ _ t during my on the spot presentation the other day. I sucked big time. what the hell ever. you would've thought I was in first grade. I had to write down the turmoil I was drowning in and I think this is practically the only therapy that can save me from my own ugly self. also, I had another misfortune involving a crazy public transport conductor and his provoking words. I clammed up like the idiot I was when I wanted to slash his words to its filthy innards and give a thorough beating to their core (doesn't get better even if it was about MY STOP). I am a decent human being, and while I know the constitutional laws (oh please) I swore, that was the last trip. I have been tickling my mom to let me get my own vehicle but she does not trust my driving skills (she is in perpetual fear of the peril my driving skills can unleash). I had to go become terrible at something I might have excelled in my previous life, who knows.

p.p.s sorry for the long rant, I have to make sure words don't flee me the next time (if there is a next time, my stage fear kicks in like the freaking embryo) I had to try the p.s.; this way, I know I am actually capable of speech.

p.p.p.s. you can totally ignore the post scripts. this is purely for my own benefit (I think, everything on Wattpad is)

p.p.p.p.s. thank you so much.