Listen to Can I Be Him by James Arthur.

That moment you finally get to feel the lips of that one person you'd been dying to kiss; it felt like my world cracked open and everything around me disappeared and it was just us. All the built-in tension over the months dissolved from that one touch of her lips. Her soft satiated moan slipped from her throat as soon as her lips touched mine as if she'd been waiting for this moment like I was. I have been dying to kiss her since she walked through my door with puffy eyes. Her lips were so soft, I could kiss them all night. I could taste the mint from her toothpaste. I clung to her, returning every kiss and relishing in the addicting feeling of her fingers knotting in my hair. If this was a dream, I didn't want to ever wake up.

I brushed my fingers through her damp curls, as she draped one thigh over my waist and rolled her body against mine. I pulled her against me like I couldn't get enough of her, everything about her was addictive and I wanted all of it. The soft moan that escaped her lips was a sound I wanted to hear forever. Each stroke of her tongue against mine sent a wave of sensation down my spine. I was hard as a rock and I was sure she could feel it. Her puckered nipples pressed to my chest, I liked her in my T-shirt. My palm trailed up her hip, my fingers lipping through the hem of her shorts and kneading her perfect peachy ass. A throaty moan escaped from my lips as her fingers skimmed up my stomach, digging into my skin.

"Vixen," I moaned against her lips, I pulled away from her lips and buried my face in her neck inhaling her sweet scent. She whispered my name as I kissed her neck, finding her sensitive spot and sucking on it while pulling her soft skin between my teeth.

"I missed you so much," I whispered in her ear and pulled away to catch the smile on her lips. I leaned down and took her lips in a deep kiss driven with passion and unsatiated need. She rolled her hips restlessly, grinding into me and silently pleading for me to touch her. I kiss my way down her neck to her chest, I pulled the t-shirt up to expose her perfect ample tits, they are the perfect shape and size. I look up to see her nod before I lower my mouth around the perked bud. Her head falls back, and her mouth falls open with a breathless gasp, her shaky breath that makes her chest rise is fucking sexy. I could make her come just like this. My hand palmed her other tit, my fingers flicking her puckered nipples.

"Don't stop," she whispered.

I ran my fingers up between the hollows of her tits and wrapped them around her throat as I sucked her perked bud. She gasped softly and I felt her soft fingers grab my wrist not to pull my hand away but to hold them there as if she didn't want me to let go.

"I love it when you do that," she moaned. I groaned and pulled away to look at her, she smiled at me. Her cheeks flooded with color and her lips parted as I increased my grip around her throat. She could have me shooting in my pants if she keeps doing that especially with those delicate moans leaving her lips and the way she was staring at me with pure ecstasy. I leaned down and kissed her like she was the only cure I needed for all my problems.

I didn't know how long we lay there just kissing and touching each other like nothing else mattered in the world but this moment. I traced her spine with my fingertips beneath her shirt, I let out a throaty groan when she bit on my lower lip and brushed her thigh brazenly against my crotch.

Was this the same Belvina? I remember how nervous she was the last time we made out and now she was confident with every touch of her hands and lips. It made me wonder if she had been with other men over the months. Chloe would have mentioned it. The sheer jealousy at the thought of her with other guys made me kiss her deeply, trying to make sure all she'd remember was the taste of me and the feeling of my fingers exploring her skin.

I smiled against her lips as we pulled away to catch our breath, my eyes flickered to her swollen lips that were red-pink from the kiss. How the hell was she single? She was beautiful in every way. I reached over and brush my thumb over wet lips. There was hardly any space between us, she held my gaze as we lay there with our forehead pressed together, and our heavy breathing echoing around us. I got lost in her warm hazel eyes for a moment, just taking in every detail. Neither of us said anything, the silence around us was just what we needed.

I wish we could stay like this forever, I had never longed for someone so bad like I did with this amazing woman next to me. I felt so lucky just being this close to her and I really didn't want to mess it up this time. I hope she wasn't having any regrets. Was this a drunk kiss? I searched her eyes for any indication this meant something to her and when she gave me a small smile, my whole world lit up in the brightest colors.

I wanted to say something, but the words were stuck in my throat. I stared at her in awe when she snuggled closer and buried her face in my neck. Her small arms wrapped around me, with one thigh draped over my waist. She fitted so perfectly, and I couldn't help but put my arms around her.

"Who is the clingy one now, huh?" I whispered.

"Shut up," she said, and bite my neck.

"Vixen," I groaned, and she giggled.

Silence fell upon us again, I stared at the wall as different thoughts ran through my head. What did this mean? I wanted to explore whatever we had between us, this attraction that was growing into something else. Should I ask her to dinner? Shit, was I even ready for a relationship?

Her steady breathing told me she was drifting to sleep. I wanted to stay here with her, lost in her warmth and sweet scent but I wasn't sure of what any of this meant. I waited for a few minutes till I was sure she was in deep sleep. I untangled her from my body and pulled away gently. I stared at her, even though her hair was plastered around her face and over the pillow in a mess, she looked so lovely. I fought the urge to lean down and kiss her.

She moved her hand beside the bed as if she was searching for something and her eyes slid open when she didn't find it.

"Doing the walk of shame already, Parker," she snorted and I laughed softly at her.

"I have some work to do, sorry I have to leave," I told her.

"Whatever," she sighed and turned away from me.

"Vixen?"

"Just go, I'm trying to sleep," she said and I could sense the pain in her voice. There were a lot of things I wanted to say to her, but I found myself tongue-tied.

"Goodnight," I said and waited for her to say it back, but she said nothing.

I grabbed my phone and left the room.

I lay wide awake in my bed with my thoughts keeping me company in the dark. All I could think about was going back to her and cuddling her small body. Why was I terrified of these new feelings? She was starting to feel like home, like a place I had always wanted to be but never knew existed. I wanted nothing more than to be with her right now, to convince her I care for her more than she could ever imagine, that I was tired of this friendship thing and wanted more but a voice at the back of my head kept holding me back.

I groaned into the pillow and faced the ceiling. It was hard to pinpoint what the real problem was. Yes, I was scared of getting into another relationship but there was more to it. I couldn't jump into a relationship with Belvina when I was still stuck with my past wounds.

I sat up and grabbed my phone, I scrolled through my contact and found his name, Andrew. I hesitated from tapping the dial symbol. What part of the world was he in right now? In his last Instagram post, he was in Senegal exploring the culture and natural scenery.

I put the phone away and laid back on the bed. The last time I spoke to Andrew was because he needed some money for his travel expenses, ever since then he never called or reply to my messages. My siblings and I were not close to being considered a family, we were more like strangers, but I still cared for them and never missed checking on them. I wished they would try and do the same for me, I was the freaking last child of the family; they should be looking out for me.

Andrew was good at giving out advice, he was the reason I went against the firstborn of the family, Adam, and joined the swimming team behind his back. I still don't regret taking his advice. I wish he was around more than traveling around the world. He had his goal set, to travel to every country in the world before he dies.

I just wanted to talk to someone, I desperately didn't wanna mess up with Belvina again. I was scared of the unknown and I felt like a coward because I couldn't fight it. I left the room and went to the gym in the basement to clear my head. The old me would have gone for a swim, that was one way I kept my mind at ease and control the thoughts in my head but now I relied on my morning run and the treadmill.

***

My alarm woke me up at 6 am for my morning run, I listened to my playlist as I got lost in my thoughts. Belvina was still asleep when I got back. I knew I gave her a bad impression from last night and I was hoping we could talk about it. I went for a shower and came down for my protein shakes. It was almost 9 am and I had not heard from Belvina. The house felt unusually quiet and empty. I went upstairs and knocked on the door to her room.

"Vixen?" I called. I was waiting for her to complain about me disturbing her sleep but it was awfully quiet.

"Belvina?" I called, knocking a bit harder. I didn't care if she insults me in Spanish, I just wanted to hear her voice and be sure she wasn't gone. Maybe she was taking a shower. I wanted to turn around and leave but I opened the door and took a peek. The room was empty, and the bed was neatly made.

She was gone.

I hurried into the room and looked around for anything to tell me she was still around but all her stuff was gone. I didn't pay attention to my surroundings when I returned from my morning run, I should've noticed the empty parking space next to my car.

I sat wistfully on the bed with an aggravated sigh. I messed up again, she even left without telling me. My eyes caught a note on the nightstand.

Thank you for everything and sorry I had to leave in a rush.

B.

I left the room taking the note with me. I grabbed my car keys and left the house for her apartment. I didn't even know what the fuck I was feeling as I drove to her place. I couldn't decide what I was feeling but I knew I liked what we had between us. What was I going to say to her?

My stomach flipped when I arrived at her apartment. I played with the rings around my fingers as I rode the elevator with a security guard. I thought of talking about last night's kiss as I walked to the door to her apartment.

I knocked several times on the door but no one answered. Maybe she didn't want to see me but there was no way I was leaving without talking to her about last night. I grabbed my phone and called her. She answered on the second ring.

"Hey, Parker," she said cheerily.

"Open the door," I said and knocked on the door for clarity.

"What door?"

"I'm in front of your apartment," I sighed and leaned on the wall.

"Oh, why? Oh shit, did I forget something?"

"Yeah," I replied, I felt hurt that she was being all casual like last night never happened and how she left without telling me.

"Really? I swear I double-checked before leaving, what is it?"

"You have to come out and see for yourself."

"I'm not home, I'm at the store doing a little shopping."

"I can wait."

"Cool, I will be there in ten minutes or twenty."

"Okay, I will be here," I said. I heard her curse in Spanish and the sound of an object falling echoed from the other line.

"Everything okay?"

"Yeah, I will let you know when I'm close," she said and hung up.

I went back to my car and waited for her. She sent me a text when she arrived. I saw her struggling with six shopping bags, I caught up quickly with her and helped her with all the bags.

I took the stairs with her. She unlocked the door and held it open for me as I walked in. I put everything on the counter and faced her. She looked lovely in a pastel yellow dress and cute sandals.

"What did I forget?" she asked drawing my eyes away from her hair that was brushed back with her sunglasses.

"Me," I said with a small smile. She raised her eyebrows as if she needed more explanation.

"You left without telling me," I let it out.

"I did," she said and crossed her arms. My eyes didn't miss the movement of her perfect tits.

"You left a note, a freaking note with one sentence," I said almost losing my composure.

"You were gone for your morning run by the time I was leaving, and I couldn't wait because I had to get some stuff from the store and prepare for another stressful work week," she said.

"What about last night?"

"What happened last night? My memory is still a little bit foggy from that wine." She said and I felt a pang of guilt and pain in my chest.

"You don't remember me reading you a bedtime story?"

"Bedtime story? No, I remember throwing up and going to bed," she said and walked away. She was avoiding the topic, was she really drunk last night? I can swear that wasn't a drunken kiss. I faced her and studied her as she emptied one of the shopping bags. I could tell she was lying and trying to avoid the topic.

"Do you regret it?" I asked stepping closer to her.

"Regret what?"

"Kissing me."

"Can you help me fix this up there? I could use this height of yours," she said, extending a small wall decor to me.

She gave me a smile when I took it from her. I wasn't going to force her if she didn't wanna talk about it. I could see the regret written all over her face, I would kill to see the same look I saw on her face last night after she kissed me. There was no regret, if anything she looked happy and sure.

"Where do you want it?" I asked and she pointed to a spot next to the large landscape painting. She brought me a nail gun and guided me as I tried to get the exact spot she wanted.

"Perfect!" she said as she looked at it from an angle.

"Thank you, you just saved me from dragging that table all the way here," she said and I smiled.

"My parents are coming over this evening and I don't want them to freak out with the damage," she said rummaging through the bag on the island.

"I guess that's my cue to leave," I said and she turned around quickly as if to tell me to stay.

"So, are we cool?" I asked stepping closer to where she stood.

"Yeah, umm... of course. Why did you ask?"

"You don't wanna talk about last night, I'm wondering if you regret what happened. I enjoyed every second of it and I was hoping you did too."

"I...I...I did but what are we even doing? This is so stupid. You keep confusing me," she sighed. "We agreed to be friends, Adrian. We both want different things, maybe we should try to take this friendship thing more seriously. I shouldn't have kissed you."

I knew I had drawn that line between wanting a relationship and quick sex with no strings and she was right. I keep running away from my emotions and maybe we should try and stay friends while I figure out my shit. I didn't want to promise her a future when all I was looking for was low-key fun and no expectations. I took a step closer, the tension in my chest eases when she didn't move away and when she held my gaze without looking away. I close the rest of the space between us, holding her gaze as I cup her face and brushed my thumb across her sunburnt cheek and her lips, watching them part slightly at my touch.

"You make wanna break every promise I have made to myself, Vixen."

"I thought you were bad the influence, not me," she said and I smiled.

"You're right we should take this friendship thing more seriously even if I can't control the impulse to press you against this island and kiss you so hard," I whispered, my thumb brushing softly across her jaw and my eyes glued on her tempting lips.

I can't walk away from her; I knew even fucking her won't get her out of my system. Every rational thought always dissolves when I was around her.

"Yeah, umm...we...we should...um...do that," she stuttered tilting her head back slightly to bring her lips closer. I know I should pull away and leave, that would be the wise thing to do since we just agreed to be friends. But I leaned down and brush my lips against hers, soft and slow at first as if I was waiting for her to pull away but when she tilted her head back a little to pull me in, I kissed her like she was my last breath pressing her against the island as my fingers brush up her bare thigh. Her fingers knotted in my hair as she pulled me to her. My tongue slide across her bottom lip and just when she opened her mouth for me. I smiled against her lips and pulled away. She opened her eyes, confused and hungry for more.

"Friends?" I put out it there. Maybe it was a dumb move on my part.

She hesitated her reply. "Sure."

"Bye, Vixen,"

"Bye, Adrian," she said in a quiet voice. I gave her a warm smile and walked out.

I drove to the Sanchesters' mansion after I left her place. I was glad whatever hostility she was harboring toward me was gone. I wanted to take it slow with her and not rush into this as I did with my other relationships. I was the type to get attached quickly and let go slowly. I want to do everything right with Belvina.

The Sanchesters' mansion looked busy when a maid let me in. There were boxes and bouquets of fresh flowers that could make up a florist shop. I watched as two maids changed the long drapes and more deliveries arrived.

"Adrian?" I heard Chloe's voice behind me. I faced her with a big smile, she looked exhausted even the smile plastering on her small face could convince a blind person she wasn't okay. I hope she works everything out with Tristan and gives Kayden a better future. I wanted her to be happy for once and not stress about anything.

"Hey," I reached closer and pulled her in for a hug. She felt so fragile even if she was the strongest person I had ever known. This amazing human deserved the world.

"Vina told me she left your place this morning. Please tell me she didn't drive you crazy with her grumpy ass and I hope she showed some appreciation before leaving," she said after we separated.

"She was on good behavior, don't worry," I said.

"How have you been?" I asked.

"Good, Grey is finally behind bars," she said but her tone said the opposite.

The front door opened, and Tristan walked in. He didn't even acknowledge my presence; all his focus was on Chloe. The way he looked at her like she was his whole universe and everything good he needed in his life. Chloe had a nervous smile on as he approached her, she fiddled with her fingers.

"How did it go at the hospital?" She asked.

"One last check-up to go, I feel much better." Tristan smiled.

"Did you check on Morris before leaving?"

"Yeah, I spoke to his family, and they said there is a little improvement," he told her.

"That's a relief, I hope he wakes up soon," she said. A maid came over and whispered something in Chloe's ear.

"Sorry, gotta go," she flashed us a smile and left with the maid.

"Hey, man, " Tristan said and we exchanged our trademark handshake. We left for his room, he took Kayden from Nora when we ran into her on the stairs.

"Hey, buddy," I poked him and he giggled shaking in Tristan's arms.

He waited for me to do it again and I did, his fit of giggles gave me baby fever. Tristan sat down on the couch with him while I leaned on the wall.

"What's with the whole decorations?"

"I don't know what my mom is up to, she's probably throwing a party," he sighed.

"Everything good with you and Chloe?" I popped the question.

"I don't know, man. It's complicated but I hope she lets me in, I'm trying to prove to her I can be a good father and so much more."

He looked devastated; a smile appeared on his face when Kayden looked up at him speaking incoherently words. Tristan nodded to what he was saying as if he understood him.

Mrs. Sanchester walked in with a glass of weird-looking juice.

"Drink this, your grandmother made it for you," she said to Tristan who eyed the drink like she was offering him a glass of acid.

"It's not for you honey," she said to Kayden who was bringing his lips closer to the rim of the glass.

"Come here, I will get you something nice to drink," she said and took Kayden from him.

"Make sure you drink it," she warned him like he was a stubborn kid who would pour it away in the sink and lie he drank it.

"There's a party tomorrow, Adrian, if you're free please come," she said and left the room with Kayden.

I turned to Tristan and laughed at the expression on his face after he took a sip of the drink.

***

It was already dark outside by the time I drove home. Nana forced me to stay for dinner. Seeing how full the dining room was made me nostalgic. I miss my real family, what would it take to bring them back? Watching Chloe and Tristan try to feed Kayden who kept spitting out the food and making everyone laugh was delightful.

I sighed softly as I entered the house, there was no mouth-watering aroma in the air or Belvina's loud playlist echoing in the house. Her beautiful smile and sweet giggles always got me thinking of the sunset. I found myself reaching for my phone and calling her. She picked on the third ring.

"Did I wake you up?" I asked as I lay on the couch.

"It's past eight, who goes to bed by this time?"

"People, that have to get up early for work?"

"Right, isn't it past your bedtime, Parker?"

"I wanted to hear your voice before I go to sleep," I said and I heard her scoff. I imagined her rolling her eyes.

"Wish granted, you can go to sleep now," she said.

"Goodnight, Vixen."

"Go to sleep," she said and hung off.

I laughed softly and lay there on the couch with the image of her in my head.

***

I arrived early at the party. I took a walk around greeting a few people I recognized. I grabbed a glass of martini from one of the waiters going around. I saw Belvina rushing up the stairs in her high heels, I was worried she might miss a step from the way she was walking. She looked gorgeous in the backless gown that hugged her hips with a decent side slit that showed off her small legs.

I looked away when Nora appeared in front of me. She looked pretty and was smiling excessively at me.

"Hey, handsome," she chirped, touching the collar of my suit.

"Hi, Nora," I said and put a decent distance between us. I'd known about her infatuation with me and I was hoping she would get over it. She was bold enough to send me a text that she liked me but I only saw her like a kid sister, nothing more.

"Do you like my dress?" she asked doing a pose.

"Yeah, it looks great on you," I said and she blushed.

"Sorry, sweet pea, I have to speak to an old friend," I said and walked away quickly.

I went over and spoke to one of the waiters just asking him random questions until Nora's eyes were off me. I looked around for Belvina, I expected her to show up after Mrs. Sanchester welcomed Tristan and Chloe and introduced them to everyone.

I grabbed my phone and texted her.

Me: where are you?

I got no reply for ten minutes before my phone vibrated indicating a text. A smile broke on my lips when I saw her text.

Vixen: Behind you

I looked behind but only saw an old couple smiling at whatever speech Mrs. Sanchester was giving. My phone vibrated indicating another text.

Vixen: 😂I can't believe you really looked back

Me: Come on, Vixen. Where are you?

Vixen: somewhere staring at you right now.

I looked up and searched the crowd for her but I didn't see her. Can her heels at least give her a little advantage in the crowded room?

There was a sudden silence in the room, I followed the gaze of the lady in front of me and I saw Tristan walking down with a small suitcase. He looked pissed while an anxious Chloe trailed behind him.

Tristan hardly said a word to anyone as he stepped out, Chloe said a few words before going after him. I followed them outside to find out what was happening.

"That was weird," I heard Belvina's voice beside me. I turned to look at her and couldn't help the smile forming on my face.

"Chloe!" Belvina called.

"I will call you and explain everything!" Chloe yelled.

We watched them as they drove away. We stood there for a few minutes after they left, just staring at the sky and saying nothing.

"Wanna ditch this party?" I asked.

"Yes, the party is dead anyway," she replied.

We walked to my red Ferrari. She didn't complain when I opened the door for her, I loosened my tie as I stepped behind the wheel.

"So where are going?" she asked, sounding excited.

"There's an NBA playoff happening in the next ten minutes. I have two tickets," I told her.

"Really? Basketball?" she frowned.

"You love it, it won't kill to admit it," I told her as I pulled out of the driveway.

"Please don't tell me we are going to a basketball game in our formal wear?"

"Don't worry I will stop by your place for you to pick out something to wear."

"Won't that make you late for the game?"

"It's fine," I told her.

"Forget it, we might as well stand out and have all eyes on us," she said.

"Are you sure you're okay with that?"

"Are you?" she asked me instead.

"Yeah," I pictured us walking into the arena with me in my suit, and she, in a sexy evening gown and heels looking like royalty.

The game was about to start by the time we got there, as we expected there were a few eyes on us as we walked to the VIP premium seats. I reached for Belvina's hand and intertwined our hands to help her walk down the steps in her heels.

"Thanks," she smiled at me.

We took our seats next to five celebrities that came for the game. Belvina was fangirling quietly over Drake. The players made their way in and everyone cheered. Belvina refused to let go of my hand, somewhere between the first half of the game she placed her head on my shoulder.

She seemed to be enjoying the game because she groaned and mumbled a curse in Spanish when the opposing team scored.

"Do you want some popcorn, a snack, or a drink?" I whispered into her ear.

"Does it require you leaving me here alone?" she asked.

"Yeah."

"Then no," she said in a hushed voice and I laughed softly.

"Are you cold?" I asked since she had a backless dress on with thin straps.

"A little, but you feel warm," she said snuggling closer to me.

"Don't offer me your jacket, it doesn't go with my gown," she said before I could let the words out.

I put my arm around the small of her back and rubbed her skin softly to provide some warmth.

"Is this okay?" I asked.

"Yeah, as long as you don't scratch me," she said and I tried to suppress my laughter.

"That guy is cute, I like his hair," she said and I followed the direction of her eyes. It was Dickson McClain, his long hair was held back in a hairband. I tried to fight off the jealousy scraping my throat.

"He's engaged," I said in a monotone.

"Engaged not married," she said taking a glance at me.

"He has a daughter," I said looking back at her.

"I'm sure she will love me," she said and winked.

"I don't think you're his type, he's into blondes."

"I can dye my hair blonde," she said as if this was a challenge.

"It won't look good on you, it will be such a shame to ruin these beautiful dark curls," I said and touched her hair. She didn't say anything but smile at me. We just spent five minutes whispering and staring at each other like we were the only ones here and I love it.

We left before the game was over since we had work tomorrow. I drove her back to the Sanchester's mansion so she could get her car.

"You were right, it wasn't that bad," she said as I walked her to her car.

"Drive safely, Vixen."

"You too, Parker," she said and entered her car.

I waited for her to leave before going to the house to check on everyone.