Lilypetal's POV

I couldn't sleep at all last night.

The whole time I had been thinking about who my father was, and the fact that Mistpelt had hidden it from me for my entire life, or at least since she had come back to the Clans. Right now, of course, I was furious with her, but I could to some extent understand why she would want to hide something like that from me. She was probably ashamed at the fact that Scourge was my father, and didn't even like hearing herself talk about him.

I already knew in my heart that I would be able to forgive her soon enough.

But still, every time the realization that Scourge was my father came back to me, my heart almost seemed to stop. It was so outrageous that it was hard to process. And I was joking when I had predicted that Mistpelt was secretly a savage murder, I recalled. Who would have ever thought that one of my parents actually was a savage murder, not my mother, but my father. What if no one trusts me anymore?

I wouldn't be the first cat in ThunderClan with a supposedly "evil" father. I had heard of how Firestar had had a difficult time trusting Brambleclaw back when he was a small kit, because of who is father was - Tigerstar. I was already praying to StarClan that the same wouldn't happen for me.

Brambleclaw does look a lot like Tigerstar, I realized. I could see how Firestar would be intimidated.

Firestar had worried for quite a while that Brambleclaw was going to follow the same dangerous path as Tigerstar, but he never did, and hopefully never would. I would never become a savage murderer like Scourge, I thought. No way in the name of StarClan!

Drifting away from my thoughts, I stood up in my nest in the warriors den and began to pad outside. I looked up to see that the sky was a bluish-pink and the sun was starting to fall to the bottom of the sky already.

It had been a fair low-key day for me, which was probably for the best, considering everything that was on my mind at the moment. I had gone on the dawn patrol this morning, and then had come back to camp to find the hunting patrol bringing back fresh-kill. I had eaten a mouse, and then I went to the warriors den to take a nap, but I couldn't sleep again.

Now mentally and physically exhausted, I sighed and then began to scan my gaze around the camp clearing. Most cats were out on patrols, eating fresh-kill or sleeping in their dens, just like any normal day.

But the one cat that caught my eye was Goldenshine, who was slithering about and looking from side to side as if she was trying to sneak out of camp without being seen.

I narrowed my eyes at this sight. Hmm...

I quickly padded up to my daughter, feeling like I needed to intrude as soon as possible. "What do you think you're doing?" I asked Goldenshine. I mean, she had all the right to leave camp when she wanted now, but the fact that she didn't want any cat to see her was suspicious to me.

Goldenshine completely froze as I had approached her.

"Uh..." she murmured, hesitating a lot. "Just going out for an evening stroll, that's all."

"Really?" I meowed and tilted my head. Through Goldenshine's awkwardness and hesitation, I felt like she wasn't serious at all, not just from this encounter, but from how she had been acting previously.

I then reflected on my daughter's latest behavior as I watched how weirdly she was acting at the moment. She had actually been acting strangely all day. First off, she always looked like something was on her mind. Secondly, she had gone on a hunting patrol earlier in the day, and Sorreltail had told me after they got back that Goldenshine's hunting skills had been terrible, and she had been acting as daft as a newly-made apprentice. When she had tried to catch a mouse, she looked as if she had never hunted before in her life, and she missed it when it was practically at her paws.

I was brought back to reality as I heard Goldenshine snort. "Yes! Why don't you believe me?" she demanded, clearly starting to get impatient.

"I believe you!" I reassured her. I think. "It's just that... you've been acting a little oddly all day." I then padded up closer to my daughter, touching my nose to her ear. "Are you okay?"

"Fine!" she muttered, starting to twitch her tail irritably. "I just want to be alone for a while. Is that so much to ask?"

Without saying anything else, she let out a loud sigh and disappeared through some bushes.

I watched her disappear, suddenly becoming overwhelmed with concern for my kit. That was incredibly weird, I thought. Goldenshine is a stubborn cat, but I don't see her act like that too often. I really hope there's not something she isn't telling me...

"Hey," I heard a voice suddenly meow behind me.

I turned to see Thornclaw sitting there, his eyes warm and welcoming.

"Hi, there!" I meowed back to him, the look on his face already making me feel a little better. I trotted up to my mate quickly and touched my nose to his. Nothing like the love of my life to ease my worries a bit.

I sniffed as we began to pad over to the warriors den to sit down. "I don't suppose you're hiding something from me too," I joked, leaning my head against his shoulder, absolutely exhausted. At this point, I had found out that Mistpelt, and Goldenshine potentially, had been hiding something from me. I wondered how much more I could handle!

To my complete surprise, after I had spoken, I felt Thornclaw flinch and lash his tail anxiously next to me.

"N-no," he then stammered, scooting a little further away from me, clearly growing nervous. "Of course not, heh. What, do you think I hid a burr in your side of the nest or something?"

Oh, no. What I said was supposed to be a joke.

"If I found a burr in my side of the nest, you would know, because it'd eventually end up on your side of the nest!" I teased, trying to somehow lighten the suddenly very tense mood. But when Thornclaw barely acknowledged my words, I couldn't help but ask, "What's wrong?" I tried to meet his gaze, but it was quite hard, to my dismay.

"Nothing is wrong," he insisted, but he still was not looking at me.

I couldn't believe what I was hearing and seeing. Thornclaw had never, ever behaved like this before. Up until now, we had told each other everything, literally everything. We had made sure as mates that communication was one of our biggest priorities. The closest I had gotten to not telling Thornclaw something had been when Ashfur was still in the forest, and that was only because I had assumed that he would leave our territory soon enough.

So, the fact that Thornclaw was suddenly so closed-off and distant, really, really scared me.

I immediately had to know what was going on. "Are... are you really hiding something?" I asked nervously. As terrified as I am to hear the answer, I can't avoid it, even if he's going to say yes.

But rather than that, Thornclaw didn't say anything, which was almost more unnerving than receiving an answer. He just continued to stare ahead, his eyes full of distress.

I then took a deep breath before deciding to go on. "Don't worry, Thornclaw," I whispered to him. "I understand if you're uncomfortable and don't want to talk, but I hope you remember that you can tell me anything," I insisted, twinning my tail with his. I really hope he hasn't forgotten...

Thank StarClan, Thornclaw finally turned his head to look at me. His gaze warmed for a few heartbeats as he licked my cheek. "Trust me, I know I can," he meowed, tightening his grip on my tail. "And that's one reason why you're so wonderful."

"Oh, goodness," I breathed as I touched my nose to Thornclaw's cheek. Well... hopefully Thornclaw wanting to end our relationship can be crossed off... I hope, I thought nervously. Oh, I really hope.

I grew even more nervous as Thornclaw then fell silent for a few heartbeats before finally sighing. He looked back at me, his pale blue eyes burning into my hazel ones.

"Well... you're right, I do have something I've been hiding. It was stupid of me to keep this from you for so long, I'm so sorry," he began, not averting his gaze as his eyes suddenly glowed with distress. "I can't put this off any longer. You're my mate, and you're so special to me, you have no idea. So, you deserve to know..."

I held my breath. Here we go again...

"I've been training in the Dark Forest," Thornclaw blurted out.

My mouth almost seemed to drop all the way to the ground.

And I thought that finding out that my father was a tiny little murder was mind-blowing.

I knew what the Dark Forest was by now - the opposite side of StarClan; the Place of No Stars; the place where cats who went against the warrior code without any remorse went when they died - cats like Tigerstar, Thistleclaw, Darkstripe...

I hadn't even realized until this moment that these Dark Forest spirits were summoning living cats to train with them, thanks to Thornclaw, but it wouldn't take much for me to know that any cat who thought that their intentions were truly good, was a truly mouse-brained cat.

But was I going to say that verbatim to Thornclaw? No, as much as I wanted to. And as much as I wanted to press and interrogate him – ask him what he could possibly be thinking – I told myself over and over in my head to stay calm. If Thornclaw had any logical explanation for this, I was going to find it. And pray to StarClan that there's one at all...

But out of my shock at the news, the only word that escaped my jaws was, "...What?"

My meow had barely been above a whisper, yet Thornclaw's eyes glinted with alarm and fear as if I had yelled at him. "Did you hear me?" he murmured, his tail twitching.

I took a deep breath, still trying with all of my might to keep my composure. "Oh yeah, I heard you," I muttered as I began to lightly trace one of my claws around the edge of a small hole in the ground.

I then forced myself to look back at Thornclaw. "I'm just trying to understand," I breathed, my heart beginning to beat faster. "Isn't the Dark Forest where really bad cats go? Selfish, malicious, bloodthirsty ones that hurt others in order to benefit themselves?" I hadn't been able to help it, but my voice had nearly risen into a growl. The fact that I was having to explain this to my mate didn't seem real.

Thornclaw nodded slowly. "Of course, and that's what you've always been taught," the golden tabby began, his gaze suddenly almost desperate. "But they aren't as bad as you think at all, Lilypetal! In fact, they are helping cats to become better warriors. I want to be the best warrior I can be. For you, and for this whole Clan."

As sweet as the meaning behind Thornclaw's words were, that wasn't enough for me. "So all of these cats, like Tigerstar and Brokenstar who harmed so many just to get their way, suddenly had a change of heart and decided that they want to help and care for the cats that they left behind?" I pressed to Thornclaw. "I'm not sure if this is a good idea."

"Don't you think that I've thought about this?" he meowed, his eyes narrowing. "I wouldn't have done it if I didn't think it would benefit me."

"Well... I'd like to think so," I meowed worriedly. "But Thornclaw, listen... I may not know as much as some other cats may here, but I know for a fact that surrounding yourself with those cats is probably a terrible idea!"

Thornclaw's gaze was steadily becoming more and more unreadable. "You can't even try to see the good in it?" he meowed. I wondered if I had only imagined the crack of hurt in his voice.

I slowly shook my head in reply. It was becoming more and more difficult to keep calm with each thing that Thornclaw said, and each heartbeat that went by. I wasn't hearing anything that was making me feel better, as I had hoped I would. "I can't, and I won't, Thornclaw, I'm sorry!" I insisted, hardening my meow. "Can you not see that you are betraying your Clan by doing that?"

Thornclaw growled and then stood up. I almost backed away, bewildered by my mate's gaze and his new, different demeanor. "Betraying my Clan?" he repeated, his voice rising into a growl. "You are calling me a traitor?"

I stood up as well, sinking my claws into the ground. "Well, you're not exactly the leader of loyalty right now, are you?" I demanded. "Training with cats that have been traitors themselves doesn't exactly make yourself look very good!"

For a moment, seeing the alarm in Thornclaw's eyes, I wondered if I should pull back. I was extremely outraged and bewildered by what Thornclaw had shared with me, but I never enjoyed scolding someone, especially someone as dear to me as my mate.

But with what Thornclaw said next, all of those thoughts immediately flew away, my sanity probably flying away with them.

"Are you kidding? Wow, you seem very set on thinking the lowest of me, don't you? I-I'd think you'd be proud of me!" he hissed at me. "The Dark Forest has only made me stronger!"

"What a whole load of mouse-droppings!" I exclaimed without thinking, "That's what they're trying to make you think!"

Suddenly, as my mind was spiraling, words full of hurt and fear just began to spill out of me. I mean, I felt betrayed. I felt lied to. I wondered if I even knew who Thornclaw was anymore, considering this completely outrageous choice that he had made.

In that moment, whatever Thornclaw would have to say to defend himself, I didn't want to hear it. "Like I said, I don't know everything, but what else could the Dark Forest cats want than to make you one of them?" I added, trying to control myself, but failing for the most part now.

Thornclaw then bared his teeth and sunk his unsheathed claws into the ground in anger. I tried my hardest to suppress a whimper of grief and distress. Sure, Thornclaw and I had had petty bickers in the past, but never a full-on argument. Ever. I had realized almost immediately that it didn't feel good at all, but here we were, and there wasn't going back.

Thornclaw's pale blue eyes then seemed to be blazing with betrayal. "Well, now I know why I was so hesitant to tell you about this," my mate then scoffed. "I knew that you would just think badly of me, and unfortunately I was right."

I lashed my tail and gasped. I couldn't believe what I was hearing all over again. Did I become mates with a kit, for StarClan's sake?!

I wasn't having any of this anymore. Who cared if we were arguing? If Thornclaw was going to act like a petty young cat, then I wasn't going to let him get away with it.

"Well, I don't have much of a choice, Thornclaw!" I then barked back. "The Dark Forest is our enemy – cats who have done nothing but hurt others for their own benefit - and you are training with them!" I then began to pace, realizing that I would explode if I didn't get my paws moving. "Geez, do I know more that you do?" I growled. "That's concerning, considering I was a kittypet for half of my life!"

Thornclaw hissed, his eyes blaring at me once again. "I can't believe it! What's happened to you?" Thornclaw growled back. "A real mate would be supportive of all my decisions, wouldn't they? That's definitely not what you're doing!"

My mouth dropped open again, my head seeming to throb with how angry I was. "Well, I've never had anything to say against you until now. But if you tell me something that I don't like or that worries me, I'm going to tell you!" I'm sorry, I didn't realize that you wanted to be with a she-cat that stays quiet when she disagrees with you!

I was barely thinking before speaking at this point. "I'm sorry, Thornclaw, but I can't agree with you on this! It would be incredibly difficult for me to be proud of a cat that is training with dangerous, ill-natured cats that have betrayed us!"

I then watched as Thornclaw's eyes flashed with hurt, more hurt than if I had physical slashed my claws across his muzzle. "Well, if you have such a big problem with that, maybe we shouldn't be mates anymore," Thornclaw then meowed sharply, his eyes a pair of pale blue flames once again.

I flattened my ears and my eyes widened as my heart nearly stopped and then seemed to fall onto the ground. I truly had never thought that those words would come out of Thornclaw's mouth.

But they had, and I wasn't going to stand around whimpering to him like a kit.

Without hesitating anymore, I let out a small growl. "Fine! If that's how you want it!" I then whipped myself around and started walking quickly over towards the warriors den.

"Lilypetal..." I heard Thornclaw murmur behind me, his voice full of remorse. "Wait..."

But I ignored the golden tabby tom and slid into the warriors den to my nest once again.