isolation.

i know, it's extremely appealing to just stay indoors and mope around and to not be bothered by the company of other people but it's not gonna help.

it will, initially, make you feel good. make you feel as if you're finally alone and you don't have to pretend to be fine or interested or okay. but as i said last time, when you stop giving importance to these emotions, start talking about it to other people no matter who it may be, it will get better.

i know you think that you will still be bothering people or that people only ask so they can feel better about themselves but it's not about other people right now. it's about yourself.

you're so used to masking these emotions that they stop making an appearance within you, they stop bothering you which may sound great but it's not. emotions, no matter how good or bad they are, they make you more of a person. although they aren't more important than you, they are a part of you so simply getting rid of them will just make you a shell of a person.

you need to start accepting these emotions. if you can't say it to someone in person, text someone, go online and vent about your feelings and accept that you're feeling this way.

the day you have more control over these emotions and these emotions are not the things that are guiding you--that's the day when you will be ready to leave this isolation.

if you cannot go outside the house with your friends or you feel that's too much for you, tell them. tell them that you don't feel good and maybe you could just stay home and watch a movie and talk about good things or do homework together.

staying in the company of other people motivates you to be happier so that you can enjoy all the things you could once. maybe after you spend a few hours at home with them, you'll get more comfortable and go out for an icecream.

it's a gradual process. you can't suddenly start partying like a wild animal because that will be out of your comfort zone and your body will not accept it. you need to love yourself and be gentle with yourself and let yourself take time to heal.

and above all that, you need to have the right company of people. stop hoarding friends just because they are popular or they have known you for a long time or because you don't want to hurt them.

the human life is so terribly transient, nothing is too long.

you need to know how to dispose off the people that do not make you feel good or bother you. if you're worried about hurting them, then that's worse on your part. no frienships should be based on pity and if you're feeling you're only friends with a person because you can't hurt them--i think it's time you make a confession.

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