Utianle

King has been unusually silent since he got home last night. He didn't sleep in our room. And he was out first thing after breakfast.

Closing my eyes, I leaned on the headboard and adjusted the weight on my body. My fingers stroked Esther's hair. I was trying not to stress because of the baby but I couldn't help it. My thoughts strayed to the note Esther gave me. If I forgot anything, I would never forget the content or the handwriting.

Stop searching.

But I wasn't searching. Maybe King was. He had become reserved. I dared to say he had aged in the last few days together. I smiled down at a napping Esther. She was clingy now, always wanting to be around me. She would stop going to that school. School was important but her life was more important to me. My ears picked on the sound of the door opening as I rocked Esther.

Esther peered up at me and flashed me a toothy grin. I bopped her nose, she giggled.

"When will I go to school?" she asked.

"Soon." It was all she needed to know, the most I knew. I picked up on the sound again and lowered her to the bed. "I'm coming."

The door to her room opened before I got to it. King walked in. He didn't smile at me but he smiled at her. My heart did a funny lap dance. A fake smile touched his lips when his eyes found mine and my pulse jumped. He was upset with me but I had no idea why. Because of the baby? Did he think I was trying to hold him down with a pregnancy?

King crossed over to Esther and placed a kiss on her forehead. "Why aren't you in school?"

Esther looked to me for an explanation. "I'll tell you later." His eyes settled on mine and a shiver ran down my knees. "I'll tell you now."

After a quick peck to Esther's lips, I followed him outside. He didn't stop walking till he was in the kitchen. His hand swept over the island. I hugged myself as if to protect me and my baby from him. He sank into one of the stools and propped his elbows on the smooth surface. I took the stool beside him.

"Utianle Agbah." My heart rolled down to my stomach. I could not remember the last time he called me by my full name. It sounded strange. An intense emotion clouded his gaze. "Do you have something to tell me?"

Images swirled in my head. I tried to think the sins I might have commited. My palms grew wet with sweat. I pointed to the fridge I kept the leftover breakfast. "I couldn't finish all the bread." His hands ran across his hair, once, twice. "I'm sorry. I was not hungry."

"Uti." It was there in his voice, that sadness that was present at the hospital where my baby left us. I rubbed my hand over my flat stomach. I wouldn't cry anymore over him because he was coming back to me. "Uti."

King's eyes watered, not from pain but a sadness I had a feeling was associated with me. I cleared my throat. "What did I do?"

"What did you not do?" he murmured.

"I'm sorry," was the only reply I could muster. King shook his head. If I knew my sins, maybe I would be remorseful or something close to it. He stood. "Are you going out?"

"Yeah."

On the count of five, when he didn't volunteer his location, I asked, "Where are you going to?"

"I don't know yet."

Our gazes tangoed and I looked down to my blue dress. It was bigger on me. If the doctor and kits didn't show I was pregnant, I might have assumed otherwise with my weight loss.

"What's going on?" I asked.

"Nothing."

I splayed my fingers on my knees. My eyes watered with tears that never fell. I had become a guru at keeping them at bay.

"Baby daddy." King stayed put. The first tear trickled down my cheek. He didn't wipe it off, all he did was look away. "Okay. Go well."

Our eyes collided. I didn't want him to leave, not without talking to me about the problem. King took the first step away from me, then the other and the only thing I had to remind me he was here was the faint whiff of his perfume left in his wake.

We were breaking apart and I didn't know why.

I palmed my belly. "Your daddy is mad. He is crazy," I told his son with a pout. My chest was closing in on me, I felt suffocated and a kiss or smile from King would fix me, would fix everything. "Tell him to behave, you hear?" A clearing of throat had my head jerking up. King stood in the doorway. I looked to him, then my stomach. "I didn't really mean that."

King nodded, walking over to us. Or so I thought till he brushed past me to retrieve his phone on the island. "I forgot this. Carry on. Don't let the crazy man interrupt you."

"King." He stopped at the door. I bit my lips for a second or two. The words didn't want to leave my lips and that was a bit strange. Since when did I worry about voicing out my thoughts or opinions? But I wouldn't deny that I had become a different person since Emma left. "I don't like what you're doing, King. It's not fair to me or your son or Esther."

"She's a girl." I clenched my mouth shut. He folded his arms on his chest and a corner of his lip tilted in a smile. "What am I doing, Uti?"

I shrugged. "What happened yesterday?"

If King told me what was bothering him, then I would tell him about Esther. He flexed his biceps. "I found out something about the woman I love. I feel so fucking betrayed, Uti."

The woman he loved? Did he love another woman beside me? Oh, his mother. I walked up to an angry King and dragged him to the stool for us to hash this out. Grabbing his hands, I placed them over my belly so he could receive comfort from our baby. I might not like his mother but we could comfort him.

"What did your mum do?" I asked.

King laughed. His thumb ran over my lips for the briefest second. "Not my mum, Uti. It's you."

"Me?" I pulled my back back. "As in, me? Uti?"

"Yes, you, Uti," he replied with certainty. "Do you have something you want to tell me?"

Again with this vague question. I shook my head. Wait. I had to tell him about Esther.

"I have something to say." His face pinched into an expression of pain. I reached for his cheeks but he dodged my hand. Balling my hands at my sides, I made sure not to touch him again. "Whatever thing you are doing right now, I need you to stop it. Stop the private investigations. The secret calls. Everything. I don't care. Just stop it, King."

He shifted on the stool. I could tell my words hit him in the wrong spots. "Why?" he whispered.

"Because I don't want to lose you or Esther." I jumped into his arms for a hug. He hesitated to hug me but my heart rejoiced when his arm wrapped around me. "Someone went to Esther school and he gave her a note."

King drew back like I had stabbed him. "What note? And you didn't think to tell me?"

I wiped the tears falling from my eyes. Why must he make it hard? I sniffed again. "It's inside. She was given in school. That's why I told her not to go again. I'm worried for her." 

"When did you get this note?"

"Yesterday."

"Why didn't you say anything?" King snapped for the second time this evening and I saw red.

I didn't think. I just acted. I slapped him.

His hand covered his cheek. His lips curved in a smile. He was not angry with me but he was disappointed. "You slapped me, Utianle." Taking my hand, he placed a kiss on the inside of my wrist. Would he need another slap to initiate the next kiss? I offered him an apologetic smile. "You slapped your baby daddy."

"What did I do? You came home late last night and you slept in another room." God. I sounded so cringey and clingy like a twenty year old in her first relationship. I swiped the foolish tears embarrassing me. My hands shook as I lowered them to my sides. King's gaze softened. My mood was messing with my head because I wanted to kiss him right now though we should be talking. "I'm sorry for slapping you. You can slap me back."

King chuckled. Of course he wouldn't. He swept me off my feet and off to our room we went. I dragged him down to the bed when he lowered me to it. He held my hands. Our eyes told each other things our lips couldn't.

"I love you," I whispered.

"I love you," he replied in the same whisper.

Pushing him down, I straddled him. I worked his buttons, teased the tiny nipples God gave to him. "Baby daddy, what did you find out about me? Is it something you can't forgive?"

King palmed my cheeks and pressed a kiss to my lips. "I guess I can forgive it." I licked my lips. "It just hurt to find out this way."

"What?" I searched his face for the truth. For that thing I did to hurt him so much. My mind scrolled over my past. Amber Lee was from such a long time ago. Telling him would be of no good to both of us. "To find out what?"

Another kiss to my lips. "Forget about it, okay? It's fine now. Forget I said anything."

It wasn't fine but I let him hug and hold me. His arms slipped around my waist. My ear pressed to his chest and his heartbeat lured me to sleep. I woke up alone in the room, a bit disoriented. Maybe I should tell King about Amber Lee. I shouldn't decide for him what information he could or couldn't handle.

Someone knocked. I propped a pillow behind my back and took in a deep breath. "Come in."

Faith stepped in and I shot to my feet. What? She shouldn't be here. I called her and she wasn't here for me. She picked work over me.

"Get out."

"Uti."

"Get out!" But she came closer and closer. "I don't want to see you, Faith. Get out of here."

"Uti." Tears flooded her eyes. I hated myself for feeling bad for her. She was not the one who lost a child. It was me. Uti, not Faith. I backed away from her till the back of my legs hit the bed. Faith sniffed. "I didn't know."

"It doesn't matter anymore," I told her. Faith hugged me. I struggled in her embrace but she hugged me tighter till the fight left my body. My arms slowly hooked around her waist and I broke down in her grasp. "Why didn't you come, ehn? I needed you, bestie."

I loved King but he couldn't understand, only Faith could because she was Emma's second mother. I fell to the bed. Sitting didn't do enough for me so I laid down. Faith got in behind me and we cried together. It didn't matter anymore that she wasn't here when I needed her.

Moments later, I rolled to my other side so we were facing each other. Her smile was sad.

"How did you know?"

"Junior."

"Big mouth."

Faith flicked a finger over my forehead. "You should have told me yourself. I would have preferred hearing it from you." Another long pause passed between us. "I'm so, so sorry."

Everyone was sorry, except for the bastard. She placed her hand in the space between us and I placed mine over hers. We stayed in silence for a while until I giggled for no reason.

"Do you know who did it?"

"Umoh." Her eyes widened. I saved her the stress of asking more questions. "He was drunk."

"I'm going to kill him."

I smiled sadly. "I already tried. I bought a gun. I was arrested, King bailed me." I gave her the summary in few lines and her eyes only seemed to grow bigger with shock. At least she taught me something. I could be daring if I tried. "It's not worth it, Faith."

There was a pimple in the middle of Faith's forehead. It looked ripe and ready for popping. I played with it but she swatted my hand. Her face still registered her shock. Q

"You bought a gun? Uti, you bought a gun?"

Maybe I should pop it.

"And a silencer," I added.

"Jesus."

Yes. Jesus who didn't save my baby. My eyes drooped and I yawned. All this talking was making me tired. "Are you leaving?"

"Leaving, keh? I'm staying here." I made a face that earned me a small laugh from her. "I'm staying with Junior. But I'll come everyday."

I focused on the birth mark on her face for a while. I couldn't show my excitement to have her here daily. "What of work? How's Lagos?"

"Lagos is where it is," she replied. "I quit."

More than I would ever say, I was pleased by her statement. Lagos took my best friend from me. If Faith had been here, King and I would have reconciled sooner and that day would never have happened. I touched my index finger to her jaw and retracted my hand. She was here now. She wouldn't leave.

"You and King. Quitters," I said, a bit forceful than I intended it to be. "Two little quitters."

"Maybe we will start our own company."

"Company of quitters," I teased. I would be the first one to post or tweet about it when that happened. Because I knew it had to happen, especially with King. He was great at what he did. Staying at home wasn't him.

"And you'll be the face of the brand. Uti to the world," Faith retorted. Laughter bubbled out of my lips and slipped into the cracks of my broken heart. She hugged me again. "Sorry I didn't come earlier. I really didn't know, Uti."

"I know." I took her hands and placed it on my stomach. Her lips parted and I nodded to the question she was afraid to ask. "He's coming back. Emma is coming back to me." 

* * * * *

I understand people might have moved on from this book but the response so far is very poor. Too poor in fact. So if you can, please tag anyone you know might enjoy reading this story. It would mean a lot!

Thank you for reading!