#WIAE Chapter 30

I shook my head. No. This wasn't real. She wouldn't do that to me.

"No..." I trailed off. I looked at her. I refused to believe... not even when she was standing in front of me telling me that she was responsible for everything. "Shut up!" I shouted. She was my friend. Hindi ako naniniwala na kaya niyang gawin ito sa akin. I could accept others' betrayal, but not hers... She was my friend! I trusted her! I treated her as family! I was ready to protect her from everything!

Laurie shook her head and looked at me.

"I'm sorry," she said.

"You're lying," I said, continuously shaking my head. This couldn't be. Not her...

"I'm not. I planned everything... I'm sorry."

Why did they keep on doing this to me? Why did my friends keep on betraying me?

"You know I am in love with NIght... and he's in love with you."

"What?!" I roared. "You're crazy!"

Laurie nodded and then looked at Night who was frozen beside me. Night was looking at Laurie. And Laurie was clearly lying. Night wasn't in love with me. He was playing with me. I was his toy. I was the one he manipulated just because he knew he could. I was the one providing him entertainment. He was toying with me. That was what I was to him.

I looked at Night, but his eyes were on Laurie. I could see fear in his eyes.

"Before you came, everything was good. Night's with me and Ella's happy with Avo. Everything was perfect... until you ruined it." Her lips were quivering. She was lying. This can't be the truth. "It was fine with me because you're with Avo... But you caught Night's attention. He's in love with you... and I hate it. But what can I do? You're an Estrella... and I'm no one. So I planned everything. I waited. When I became the slave of Avo, I was able to work with Cathy... and that was when I learned that she's in love with Fuji. But Ella had been a real bitch to her. She's the one who ordered the death of Cathy's family when she saw that Fuji was getting close to Cathy."

She's seven feet under, but that bitch could still make my blood boil with disgust. She deserved that kind of death. She deserved what I did to her.

"I worked with Cathy and made her tell me everything... When do you go out at night... During what time... Every little details, Boe... I planned everything just so I could get rid of you..."

Umiling ako. Paulit-ulit. Hindi ako naniniwala sa kanya. She's lying... that's the truth.

"Shut up," Night said. Laurie didn't listen. I wished she'd stop saying this... But she only shook her head.

"And then when news about you breaking up with Avo went out, I knew you were going to go out to think. Because that's who you are. That's what you do... So I used Ella's name to convince Jude to do that to you."

My chest was tightening. I was reliving the memory again... How they touched me... How they molested me... How they tore my clothes... How I asked them again and again to stop... How no one listened...

They fucking destroyed me. They began this game that I was playing.

"You remember that night, Boe?" Laurie asked. "I was at the other side... listening to you cries... I heard every whimper... I heard you say stop, but I didn't listen... because you deserved everything..."

Tears flowed. How... how could she do this to me? After everything I did for her? Was betrayal the only ending?

"Stop..." I whispered. "Tama na..."

I didn't want to listen to her anymore. I didn't want to feel this pain anymore... I was afraid of what I would do just to take this pain away...

"But then those idiots failed to do it. But a deal's a deal. I had to take care of Ella."

The cold wind enveloped us. My tears kept on flowing. I was becoming numb.

"What?!" Fuji shouted. "What did you do?!"

I couldn't breathe. I wanted everything to stop.

"You bitch! What did you do?!" Fuji shouted.

"You deserve it! You think I didn't know how you poisoned Boe before?! How you left her to freeze to death?!"

She said she was telling the truth, but all I could hear were lies. Naguguluhan ako. Hindi ko alam kung ano ang una kong dapat isipin... I shouldn't have gone here. I should've stayed in Japan. I shouldn't have gotten into this mess.

"You did what?"

Everyone stopped when Avo said a word. He still had the air of authority around him.

"I killed Ella! I killed her and then threw her body in the sea! Hindi mo na siya makikita!" Laurie screamed.

Nanlaki ang mga mata ko. What was she doing? Bakit niya inaako ang mga kasalanan ko?!

"You bitch!" Fuji roared and reached for his gun. He aimed at Laurie. But even before he could shoot, I snatched Night's gun and shoot Fuji's hand. The gun flew from his grasp. I couldn't let him kill Laurie. Not when I wasn't done with her! Not yet! Kailangan kong malaman kung bakit niya 'to ginagawa!

"Fuji had been trying to kill Boe every chance he got... but he couldn't... because Night's always around her," Laurie said. She looked at me. "See? Isn't he in love with you?"

"Shut up, Laurie!" Night shouted. "Shut up!"

Laurie shook his head. Avo pointed his gun at Fuji.

"You're gonna shoot me? Para ano? Para hindi ko masabi kung paano pinatay ng magulang mo ang magulang ni Estrella?" Fuji said and then laughed.

My heart stopped. No... Hindi pwede...

"You fucking asshole!" Avo shouted.

I felt like the world crumbled upon me. My parents... no... That can't be...

"W-what?" I didn't know it was possible to hurt worse than this...

Fuji looked at me. His blood was flowing. His face was destroyed... and yet with simple words. He destroyed me. "You really don't know anything, do you? You're pathetic, Estrella. You're in love with the person who's responsible for your parents' death. Fucking pathetic."

Dahan-dahan akong napailing. "No. My parents are alive."

"When was the last time you talked to them?"

Natigilan ako.

'They're busy, Miss Belinda.'

'They'll get back at you, Miss Belinda.'

'Your parents send their regards, Miss Belinda.'

Fuji smirked. "See? You're pathetic. You don't even know that your parents are dead. And here you are, being played by these fools." My chest was tightening. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't understand what I was feeling. "Pathetic Belinda. Pathetic."

He repeated it again and again. My head was throbbing in pain.

"Stop..." I whispered. "Stop."

But he didn't. Your parents are dead. He kept on repeating it. Over and over and over again. My chest was heaving in pain. All I wanted was to make the pain go away. And Fuji telling me that my parents were weren't helping my case...

They're dead.

And they all played you.

"Stop... make it stop..."

They all lied to you.

But he didn't stop. I took the gun from Night and shot Fuji in the head.

"Stop talking!" I said as I shot him over and over and over again. I didn't stop until the bullets were gone. I just wanted him to stop! And then there was silence... and more blood. Fuji's body was lying on the floor. Lifeless. His brain was scattered on the floor... but I didn't feel any remorse. If I could kill him again, I'd do it. I'd tore his flesh with my hands and throw him to the sea. I'd kill him the same way I killed the one that he loved. My breathing was ragged. But I felt peace... finally, he stopped.

I couldn't breathe anymore. I looked at Laurie. "You deserve to die," I told her. She wanted it. She told me she was responsible. I wanted to destroy everyone. Everyone who hurt me, they'd pay!

"Boe, no... " Night uttered my name. Fear was in his eyes. He loved her.

I looked at him. "Did you lie to me, too?" I pointed the gun at his face. I could never read him... even when I tried to, I could never.

But even before he could speak, Laurie cut in. "He didn't do anything!" she said. I looked at her. There was fear in her eyes. "I did it! I did everything!"

"Shut your mouth, Laurie!" Night roared.

"No! I did it!" Laurie looked at me. "You heard me! I planned it all! I asked them to rape you!"

Rape. That word. And then memories started to flood in. I could hear my cries... I could imagine my helplessness... I could only see red. I could only see blood... and I could only hear how she wanted me raped.

Slowly, I walked towards Avo and tried to get the gun from him. I needed to shoot someone.

"No," Avo said. "She's your friend. Don't do this, Belinda. You'll regret this."

Lies. I had no friends... and I would never have any. I would never allow myself to feel the pain of betrayal again. This was the last.

"Give me the gun," I said, my voice low. I was looking at Laurie. I had been a fool for a long time, but I wasn't fool enough not to know that she was protecting someone... And I didn't care who it was. If she cared enough to lie for that person, she wouldn't care to die for her cause, too.

Avo remained still. I looked at him.

"I will kill your brother if you don't give me your gun," I said. I caught his attention and he willingly gave me the gun. He wouldn't care about Laurie's life, after all, he managed to play with mine. He didn't have a heart. He showed me no mercy... so why would he care if I killed everyone? He only cared about himself.

I pointed the gun at Laurie.

"No..." Night said, fervently shaking his head. "Estrella, don't do this!"

I removed the safety. I prepared to pull the trigger.

"The price of betrayal..." I said as I watched my last friend fall on the ground. I turned and look at Night as tears began to cascade. His eyes were on Laurie. He wasn't moving. Didn't he believe that Laurie's already dead? So I shot Laurie again. In the heart. In the stomach. In head. I didn't stop until I was tired.

"Bitiwan mo ako!" I shouted as Avo tried to pry the gun away from me. But instead of heeding, he enveloped me in his hug. "You fucking traitor! You're next! I will kill you! I will kill your brother! I will kill your parents!"

He didn't. He hugged me. He tried to restrain me until I pushed the button that Sandra gave me.

I needed saving.

--

When I opened my eyes, I almost jumped from where I was laying. I looked around, but I wasn't where I was last night. Agad naghanap ng tao ang mga mata ko... And then there was Lorenzo. Agad na kumunot ang noo ko. Why was I with him?

"What are you doing here?"

He was reading a book. He closed it and looked at me. "You're awake."

"You didn't answer my question. Why am I with you?"

I asked for Sandra's help... and then I woke up next to Lorenzo. I didn't understand what was happening. My head was pounding.

"You asked for help."

"I didn't ask for your help..." I murmured. Natigilan ako. "Are you with Sandra?"

He didn't answer my question. But he didn't have to. Alam ko na may kinalaman siya kay Sandra. Hindi ko alam kung ano, pero aalamin ko.

"Why did you bring me here?" I asked instead.

My body was aching. I couldn't remember what happened last night... the fragments were blurry... but I remembered asking Fuji to stop... and I remembered seeing red.

"You killed two Dieux. There's a bounty for your head," he mentioned. I tried to stand, but he pushed me back to the bed. "Get some rest."

"I don't need rest!" I shouted. "Where are they?!" I asked. I wasn't finished with them yet! I wasn't done with Night. I wasn't done with Avo! I wouldn't stop until they're all gone! Until they all pay their debts! Until they get what they deserved for playing with my life!

Instead of answering my questions, he poured water in a glass and handed it to me.

"When you began shooting like a maniac last night, the admin was alerted. The families were alerted, too. They found Fuji's body and when Ella wasn't found, it was assumed that she was killed, too." He looked at me. "You killed her, didn't you?"

I didn't answer. Did that even matter? She's dead already.

"And you killed Laurie..."

I clenched my jaw. "She's a traitor."

Napailing si Lorenzo. "If there's something that she is, she's loyal." Napatingin ako sa kanya. "And a martyr, too. She protected Night from you..."

Umiling ako. "No... She betrayed me..." I whispered. "She got what she deserved..."

"Are you convinced that it was Laurie who planned everything?"

Hindi agad ako naka-sagot. Last night... I was mad. I just wanted to get back at them. I just wanted to lash out. I didn't think anything through... I just wanted to get back at everybody...

"Did you even think for one second that she's capable of doing something that big?" he said. "She's a pawn, Belinda. A disposable pawn that you murdered."

"I don't want to talk about this anymore," I told him. I tried to stand, but I fell down. Inalalayan niya ako pero pilit kong tinanggal iyong hawak niya sa akin. "Leave me alone, Lorenzo! I needed to find Avo!" I shouted. I wasn't done with him. He'd fucking pay for what he did to my family.

"He's in France," he replied, still trying to help me get up on my feet.

That bastard! "I'll kill him!" I shouted. Tinignan ko siya nang mabuti. Bakit niya ito ginagawa? He's Lorenzo. He's the last person who should be interested in this madness! I stared at him. What was he planning? What would he gain from this? And why was he doing this?

"Avo's only fault was that he killed your brother... That's his only sin."

Only? My brother's death was not significant?! Kinuyom ko ang kamao ko dahil sa sinabi niya. No words would ever make me forgive him for what he did. He took my brother's life, then I'd take a life in return.

"The other things, that's not his fault," Lorenzo said.

I tried to level my breathing.

"Who did it?"

Seconds passed. He looked at me. Those eyes... he held so many secrets.

"Who do you think?"

I was racking my brain. Who would do that to me? Who knew enough and had enough power to control things and do that to me?

"I don't know..." My voice croaked.

"Nobody plans a murder out loud, Estrella..." he said, eyeing me. He crossed his legs and smiled at me. "You should've known..."

--

When I arrived at my house, I immediately looked for Sandra.

"Bring her here!" I shouted. I was mad. I was fucking mad. How dare she control my life?! Who did she think she was?! I paced back and forth until she was dragged in front of me. I picked the gun and pointed it at her. "Why did you lie?"

My heart was racing inside my chest. I was enraged. Looking at her face made me want to kill everyone in this room.

"Miss Belinda..."

"Answer my question!"

She was looking at me. She knew I already knew.

"I did that to protect you," she said. Her voice changed. It was like I was in front of a completely different person.

"Protect me?! You wanted me raped to protect me?!"

The way she stood before me, it felt like she was ready for anything. She knew it would all go down to this...

"You were falling for the enemy. I needed you to stop being weak."

Gusto kong matawa. Kailan pa naging pagiging mahina ang maging tao? Ang maging normal?

"When you were sent there, I was assured that you'd be protected. As long as Alistair is held hostage, no one will dare mess with you. But then that Fuji tried to kill you. And for that, we killed Laurie's family."

Natigilan ako.

"What?"

"She's our eye. She's supposed to look after you..."

Biglang umikot ang paningin ko. I didn't know what to believe anymore... I didn't know who to believe anymore... Everything was a lie.

"Why do you think Night tried to keep you safe all this time? It's because if anything happens to you again, it's Laurie we will kill." My head couldn't contain everything. "The plan was to keep you there until your birthday... until you're ready to lead... but you're having feelings for Augustus. And that can't happen," she said. "The organization commissioned Laurie to help. She wasn't allowed to say no. Not if she wanted to remain alive... And when Night learned about this, he took over the mission to save her."

And I didn't have a heart... but the hollow place inside my chest kept on shattering. I killed Laurie... when I should've killed this monster in front of me.

"And the CCTVs?" I asked.

She smiled at me. Sumikip ang dibdib ko. Of course. She could infiltrate the system... I had seen her do that.

"You're the enemy..." I whispered. "I trusted you."

And as she looked straight into my eyes, I knew she wasn't afraid.

"You shouldn't trust anyone... not even me," she said. I cocked the gun. "Go on, kill me... My mission's complete..." And a smile was forming. She wanted this... everything was for me to become this way... "I have no regrets, Miss Belinda. The monster has finally awaken."

And then another life was taken. I had already reached the point of no return.

--

A few weeks later and my birthday finally arrived. I had spent every waking moment looking for Avo. As long as his debts remained unpaid, I would never be allowed to rest. He killed my brother... and he killed my parents... And he crushed my heart. He tore it from my chest and crushed it.

"Miss Belinda." I turned to look at my new secretary. She was not as efficient as Sandra, but she wasn't a traitor. And I held her family hostage. One move to defy me and I'd kill her family in front of her. I didn't want a repeat of last time. I wouldn't risk another person betraying me "It's time."

Before my birthday, none of my parents' people followed me. Only then did I understand why Night kept on telling me that time was ticking and every second mattered. As soon as my birthday ticked, my word became law. They all followed me. When I was finally of age, I was introduced as the head of Mafia Estrella. I didn't understand the power my family held until now. With a simple word, I could take lives. With simple command, I could start a war. Only then was I beginning to finally understand everything.

"Angela," I called. "Any update?"

"I already said that we'd kill Ayo if they don't give Augustus up, but they won't accept, Miss Belinda. And with Night, he's in Germany. Do you want us to bring him here?"

Avo killed my brother... he killed my parents... there was no way in hell I'd let him live longer in this fucking world. He'd pay his debts... Every single one of them. And when I'm done with him, I'd tear him from limb to limb. And I'd be the last person he'd see until he dies... because that was what he deserved. He didn't deserve any mercy. Not after everything he did.

"No," I breathed. "I'll handle Night myself..." I killed Laurie. He might not say anything, but he loved her. I was certain of that. "But bring Ayo in."

As soon as I rose to power, anyone who dared to attack me ended up with their head cut from their body. I'd tear them apart. I'd watch them bleed and I wouldn't even weep. How could I? My heart was already taken away from me. I'd kill them without any remorse. I'd destroy them without holding back. Who would dare defy me? I controlled Mafia Estrella and the Del Rios wouldn't dare go against me. They said I was crazy... and maybe I was... And Lorenzo knew better. I helped him kill his parents, so he's the one controlling his own organization. Like I was, he was thrown in that school because he was different... but look who was ruling now. Those they deemed different.

And once I was done proving myself worthy of power, I tried everything to get Avo to go out from hiding, but nothing worked.

"Good morning," I greeted Ayo.

"What are we going to do with him, Miss Belinda?" Angela asked.

I looked at Alistair. He looked exactly like his brother. Those same eyes... that aristocratic jaw... Too bad.

"Bring me my knife..." I said as I stared at the person carrying the same face that I was willing to hunt to the ends of the earth.

Slowly, I walked towards him. He looked at me... that fear in his eyes. I thrived in that.

"You look exactly like your brother..."

I sat in front of him.

"Just kill me..." he said, his voice was so weak... Unlike his bastard of a brother. The one who destroyed every good thing in my life.

I smiled. "No," I said, shaking my head. "Death is too kind..." I raised my knife and held it against his face. "Death doesn't even begin to compare to what your brother made me go through..."

I stared at him, comprehending on what part I would cut first. I wouldn't kill him... not yet. I would cut him... little by little... just like how his brother destroyed me... I would begin with his fingers... and when I was done, I'd go to his arms... and then his legs...

"This is nothing..." I said as I pulled his arms and forced him to open up his hand. "This is nothing!" I shouted as I cut his finger. I shouted and shouted until I cut his fingers. He shouted. He whimpered in pain, but I didn't stop. I would never stop. Blood kept on flowing, but all I could think of was how I'd get even with his family.

I would destroy them all.

I forced myself not to kill him. Not yet... I still needed him.

"Get a doctor," I told Angela when I was done cutting Ayo's fingers. "Make sure he doesn't die. I'm not done with him. Not yet."

"Yes, Miss Belinda."

"And bring me a box, too, Angela. We'll be giving gifts to Avo..."

A small smile escaped from my lips. I couldn't wait until I have to send him his brother's heart... as a token for something he took from me.

(End of season 1)

When It All Ends Season 2: buy the book at facebook.com/EydeeGDL