Wonder what it is that drives me at the time to be so risky,

Knowing my dad would kill me if he knew the fullest extents of me,

All because he doesn't understand what has come over me,

And all he can think of is previous attempts,

Don't you understand,

I try to be patient and understand,

That it taking me over sixteen years to come to terms with this,

Driving myself mad,

Don't you understand now I am drunk,

And it's off more that love, 

The hope that I can be honest,

I've been trying to do it right,

Living an emotional and patience life,

But now I may be inconsistent,

Maybe even unconventional,

But I know that I am not only in love with him but myself, 

feeling like I love Joshua too,

The original man with tattoos that stole my heart,

But don't you understand he carved into his own skin without the ink,

Loving the white of the scars a little too much,

Oh how I crave for more,

But I just pretend its there and forget about it,

Knowing here at home, My dad would kill me,

I am the man he says he would stomp into the ground,

Doesn't he understand that I've,

Always been the one to raise hell,

But for some reason, my Love's heart is of which the only one I wish to contain,

Steal, and confirm as mine,

And it's monumental how much I feel as if I need you,

Drunk and I don't understand just trying to get dinner done,

So that I can avoid the man that unwittingly wants to stomp me,

And talk to the one that means the world to me.- Joshua Banks JJAJ