This is to the one
The one I'll never forget
I'm sorry if I can never make you proud
But , I love you mum, I will always shout

It's been four years why don't I heal?
Why do I still not believe this is real?
The woman who fed me, bathed me , clothed me
The one I will never again see

I love you
But sometimes my anguish gets ahold of me
And as sobs erupt from me
I wonder why you had to leave me?!

Is it bad mum that sometimes I can't remember what you look like
Yet I remember when you and dad bought me my first bike
Is it bad that your just someone I miss in my head
Someone I cry over when I'm in bed

I just need you to hold me again
Rock me and take away all the pain
Remember when we used to play
I'll never again be able to hear the words you say

Remember when we used to be alone
Just me and you at home
I took it for granted
Thinking it would always be like that

I know it's a horrible question to ask
I promise to long it won't last
Do you believe when you go home that your mother won't be there? That they'll have to tell you she's gone

Nor did I
She told me she would be back...that was a lie
She said she was fine
And that she's probably only be gone one night

The ambulance came and went. I was so used to you leaving
Never thought you'd stop breathing
I'd wake up at night and you wouldn't be there
Why did you have to go? It's not fair

Keep telling myself others go through more
So why are you crying for!
Stop embarrassing yourself!
Your not meant to ask for help!

Why?!
Because your fine!
Do you understand!

People die people go!
So?
So?! Get a grip!
But the pain is like being hit with a hundred whips

Look your fighting with me
And I'm you
And I'm telling you know stop crying and get over yourself!