I have mixed feelings about Eden. I think most of my siblings feel the same way. We don't talk about it much – it's the end of our beginning, and the beginning of a long downward turn involving betrayals, self-doubt, divine failures, wars, massive deaths...and that covers just the things you've read about.

There's a lot that never made it into the Scriptures, as you call them. The authors felt the stories weren't exciting enough to hold a reader's interest (all those pages and pages of A begat B who begat C, D, E, F, and G, and so forth) or too gory. Taboo subjects get just enough <ahem> lip service to make a cleric have wet dreams, but extreme censorship just gutted them enough to make the Bible instructional but, ultimately, a great big and bound, hard to carry volume that could put a hyena to sleep.

Eden earned all the beauty associated with its legend and name. But for modern man, it brings up a few unexpected realities, such as:

God created man in his image. Yes, God has a penis. There's an alternate theory about the Big Bang, one we angels like to toss around when we're feeling naughty, that I will leave to your imagination. But truly understand the implication here: mostly everything in him is reflected in you. The good and the bad.

Adam's Rib = Eve. The scribe who wrote this was a bit demented. For one thing, Eve would have genetically been a female Adam. And you can do the hereditary deterioration from there. So, no. Give the Heavenly Father some credit, okay?

The First Woman, Lilith. There's another, less male-centric Creation story that has God create a woman the same way he created Adam, and he called her Lilith. She decided she didn't want to be bossed around and wanted to live life as Adam's equal. Adam (and our Heavenly Father) said "No, do as you're told." She replied with rude words and walked to Eden's edge. She built a nice cottage, and lives there still. God made Eve, and she deferred decisions to Adam. (Not really, but Adam was tired of bachelorhood.)

The Truth About the Apple. The Heavenly Father is curious – just look at the platypus. Both Adam and Eve were always asking him questions. How? Why? Where? When? What? So much so that He'd disappear if they started in on him. Lucifer felt sorry for them, and one day asked Father why he didn't just give them all the answers? To which He responded that they really didn't have any interest in knowing the answers. So, Lou came up with the apple test to prove Father was wrong. No snake was harmed during this test. The scribe who wrote this hated both women and snakes. It was Adam who ate the apple first and was disappointed that no knowledge was forthcoming. What he got instead was a divine eviction notice.

Lilith left Eden of her own volition, before the Great Eviction. I'm not surprised that she returned there. She didn't have Eve's magic touch, but she was a great gardener, and animals adored her. There are still unicorns in Eden, which was untouched by the Great Flood.

It will be, for me, the second time I've ever been to Eden. It isn't my happy place. In fact, I hate Eden. Seeing it the first time brought out the worst in me.

It makes no logical sense, I know. But our Heavenly Father created Eden in secret. There have been very, very few things that he took time to create. Most were done as soon as he thought about them. The Universe – bang! Life – squish!

But the Garden? One time, he took Jophiel somewhere to 'get his opinion' on something. Jophiel returned and isolated himself. He accompanied Father several times more. We pestered him for more information, until finally Jophiel pleaded with Father to show us his 'work in progress.'

He granted the request. And his relationship with us all changed, in ways both great and small. Why did he hide it from us at all? Was he afraid we would find it wanting? That we'd be jealous that he was making it for new creations other than ourselves? (He'd said nothing about creating humanity.) Was it a place meant only for him, like the oldest place in the Universe?

The Nebulas, the Magellanic Clouds, Iguacu Falls, Yosemite, The Alps...nothing compares to Eden. It's a feeling encompassing all of creation. You set foot in it, and you're enveloped in beauty, wonder, order and chaos. You're refreshed, invigorated and relaxed. Like The Sound of Music, you want to run through the flowers and sing.

Then our Heavenly Father told us why he was creating it, and for whom. Our newest creations. Our brothers and sisters, who we could never meet without his prior permission for each visit. And Lucifer – of course, Lou – asked 'Why?'

I used to wonder a lot how things might have played out, had Lucifer kept that question to himself. Or if Father had given us a complete answer. But they didn't, and the stars reacted, as they often do when he gets emotional. Some lost their place and fell. Humans would live in the most beautiful place in existence, and we couldn't pop in and say hello without a permission slip.

But things happened, humans disobeyed, and the Garden lost its protection and went to seed. Until Lilith returned and made it almost as beautiful – if I'm to believe Lucifer. And I've no reason not to. It's humans that gave him the nickname 'Prince of Lies.'

Esperanza is there. From what little time I've known her, I think she and Lilith will become friends. I've given Lilith no cause to think of me as one, but also no cause to see me as an enemy. Why is it, then, that Eden is no longer where it used to be? I stand in the vast expanse of Heaven, at its very edge, and there is nothing.

From the middle of a large cumulonimbus strolls a black cat.

"Hmm. Middle height, calm and collected, eyes full of reason, six thought wrinkles on your forehead, and exactly one laugh line on either side of your mouth. A frisson of sadness, and wings that radiate reassurance. You must be Raguel. Eden's been relocated, for security reasons. Lilith has issued you a standing invitation. Follow me, if you can keep up."