Chapter Twenty

[UNEDITED] - again, this chapter is mEh meh

"Alright, you two have fun. I'm going to try and make it out alive," Pela sighs then looks to you, "I'll see you tonight babe." Bends for a hug, you give it with your cheek pressed to her belly. She turns to Taehyung who smiles sitting across from you at a table. With a bend his direction, the boy awkwardly hugs back.

"Don't be out too late," you scold as your friend walks back.

"I won't," Pela smirks, "...don't let him get between your legs again. That didn't go so well the first time 'round!"

Your eyes widen. Taehyung chokes on his coffee. The saddest part to all of it, he had been saving the right moment for the first sip—ruined. Pela notices him clean his shirt with a napkin while you ask if he's okay. With a final twirl, the woman leaves.

"She's..." You can't finish. Your cheeks are warmer than the coffee you sip.

"She's great," Taehyung says with a low chuckle. His tee is dirtied but dark, the stain not seen at first glance. With a soft, "I'm alright, it wasn't too hot," Taehyung allows you to sit comfortably in your seat.

Silence overwhelms the two of you once Taehyung's lips touch his coffee mug again. Sitting down to drink and eat treats, you grabbed a slice of chocolate cherry cake, while Taehyung already munched into a sugar cookie.

With a silent bob the next minute, Taehyung arched his cookie out and urged for you to try. You did, smiling right after. "Deja vu," you tease, remembering the time you fed him while in a panic. "Don't remind me," he chuckles, leaning back in his chair.

"I feel like we've had this conversation before, but I apologize again for babying you."

"I ignored you for quite some time after that, I'm sure I apologized for that too."

"You haven't spoken to me since the ride over to Jin's...I was wondering how things were going," you whisper unsure.

"I'm sorry for ignoring you...again."

"Did I get too invasive?"

"No no," Taehyung sighs, "I just, I guess I don't like letting people befriend me just, so they could play Dr. Phil with my issues."

Your brows jump. "Oh, I didn't realize I was giving off that vibe."

"Not a bad vibe. I know I sound terrible when I say it, but I just...I don't know why I distance myself from good people." Taehyung's knee shakes under the table.

"Classic 'I'll fix myself' mentality...or even just thinking you'll soil others lives if you get too close."

Taehyung looks up from his coffee and over at you. "Well it's true, isn't it? You met me, and your life's been a messy dump in of itself. My existence is toxic."

"Your existence isn't toxic, the thoughts making you think so are." You glance down for a sip of your beverage. Staring over at your cake, the serious atmosphere confuses you on whether you should allow a bite to happen. It looks so bomb! But he looks so sad! I shouldn't!

"It's been a while...getting to know you, you know," Taehyung smiles a tiny bit, "...and it's crazy how I know nothing about you—other than as Oki's ex-girlfriend—but that's irrelevant." You soften when hearing that, seeing him more relaxed with a smirk.

"Well—"

He takes a sip of his drink, amusement in his eyes as you perk in your seat and wave your hair off your shoulder.

"Well?"

"My life was a messy dump way before you came into it," you start, "I'm one in millions of students who struggle with anxiety and panic attacks here and there. The panic attacks can get scary."

Taehyung's amusement falls with such a brutal topic discussed so lightly from your smiling lips. "I'm sorry," he says, and you wave him off. "You can't be apologizing to me when you yourself, are a sad human being," you say. His amusement is back.

"Being sad is unfortunate."

"Not all the time," you shrug, "...I can see that it grounds you."

"To a reality I wish wasn't real...if I were to pick a land where everything was okay, I'd never cry—my brother would still be the closest person to me, my friends would talk to me, and I'd be sane enough to love a girl...or boy, I don't know maybe I'll give it a shot." You laugh by the end of Taehyung's ramble. He looks adorable thinking of an escape.

You join. "Well I wish for a world where I didn't have to pay large sums of money for my education, where I didn't get involved with a cheating douchebag, and...well, where I didn't have to take a scary test at the end of my school years to be accepted into law school."

"Lawyer huh?"

"Yes. If you ever get caught up in your cocaine habits too deep, call me in a few years."

"Make fun of my drug problem, how classy." Taehyung grins.

"I can tell you're not completely addicted which is a good sign. I wouldn't have made fun of it otherwise."

Taehyung's brows furrow. Then he smiles with white teeth out for show. "You sound like Jin...he's always telling me I'm in it for the distractions. What can I say? I'm a sad human."

"Firstly, don't excuse your actions like that. I'm a sad person too, clinically proven, and yet I don't settle for distractions..." then you smile and whisper, "I at least have the audacity to be prescribed." Taehyung snorts, wanting to laugh loud but holding it the minute he sees a few others piling into the small café.

"Secondly," you say, "Jin's the older friend with the mini-van right?"

Taehyung smiles. "Yes."

You stare down at your cake momentarily. "The same van we..."

Taehyung gulps so hard, you're thinking he's drinking coffee again. His cup isn't anywhere near his mouth and you hastily laugh. "Do you even remember?"

"Kinda."

"Kinda?" Your cheeks are warm again.

"It was nice."

"Nice?"

"Yes, nice. I remember that much." Taehyung twitches in his chair. His knee starts up again.

"What else do you remember?"

"I'm not a witness at some mock trial," Taehyung laughs when that successfully has you blush, "...Just from this I can tell you'll be a great attorney."

"Thank you."

"Hm."

"We got a little out of hand then."

"I think we both needed it," Taehyung nibbles his lip, "...don't you?"

You don't nod. Nor do you look at him or your delicious chocolate cheery cake. With hesitant eyes, you ask, "About that...I wanted to ask you something?"

"Shit."

"Nothing bad—Well, I don't know if it will be, but it's been eating at me the entire time and I never got the chance to ask you—"

"What is it?"

"Before I kissed you," now you're the one gulping air, "We had a little time to ourselves where you said the club...bringing me to the club, was a date? Did you—"

"No!" Taehyung panics. He's upright and a little too loud.

You flush, glance around to a few that stare before staring back at him confused. "No? But you sai—"

"Oh fuck. Did I give off mixed signals? Is that why we—oh fuck." Taehyung's knee has a mind of its own.

"At the bar, yeah, we were flirting, and you were real close," you say, "...then you invited me out, gave me a blanket and got close to me on the hood of the—"

"Ahhh—" Taehyung screeches soft, under his deep voice as his eyes widen. He remembers. He remembers all before most got blurry and the gut in his stomach squeezes when seeing how upset you get from his reaction. With a purse of his lips, Taehyung whispers, "I'm sorry for reacting like this, I'm ju—"

"Not into me like that," you finish for me.

"No, it's not like—" You look up and meet his eyes, he blinks and tries not to get distracted from the beauty of them. "I'm just. I flirt a lot and I thought we were just having fun...how that night ended, I wasn't intending to kiss you."

"Oh."

"Wait, no—"

"Can we move on?"

"Not if you're upset."

"I'm not upset," you say this while going 'fuck-it-mode' and taking a spoon of your cake. Being considerate of his sadness doesn't range strong in your mind anymore.

Taehyung's eyes squint in pain. He watches you chew your cake.

"I'm sorry."

"It's cool."

"...that moment meant something to you?" Taehyung sighs, he's starting to sweat again.

"Want some cake?"

Taehyung shook his head slow, pathetically watching you pop the top cherry into your mouth. It popped between your teeth and he heard it, staring down at the whipped cream that was left behind on the top of your cake.

(A/N: y'all bishes thought they were gonna have sex? I'm an atheist but damn y'all need all religious books and all gods.)

"Y/N—"

"I can't hear you over my chewing!"

Taehyung sighs. Sulking into his seat, he watches you eat another large bite.

[20 minutes later]

"Are we okay to talk about it now?"

"I'm walking to my Psychology class. No."

"I know you are, I'm walking you there," Taehyung sighs, shaking his head while managing to keep up with your strides.

"I never asked you to."

"I wanted to."

"Why?"

"There has to be a reason?"

"Yes."

"Because you're like...you're like a weird...friend I've got by my side now. I can't ignore the fact that I want you in my life okay? That is so weird and cringy to say, but I've said it. You happy?"

You stop, glare over at him and try not convulsing on the insides over how that very confession made your heart leap. "Was that so hard to admit?"

"Very hard."

"You need to stop being afraid of people."

Taehyung shuts his eyes, squints, then opens them up again. "Can you blame me?" he whisper-shouts, "You're Oki's ex-girlfriend."

"I thought you got tired of thinking me as just that." You glance over his entire face. Taehyung's stepping too close.

Taehyung groans. His head throws back and his neck tenses from the air that now hits it. "A lot has been confusing lately...I'm sorry, I just, I know I shouldn't feel sorry for him."

"He slept with your ex-girlfriend Taehyung," your eyes soften, body holding less tough grounds when whispering, "It's okay to be mad at him...plus, it's not like you're befriending me for some twisted revenge scheme."

"I'm not."

With a tight smile, you nod. Relieved. Sure, you never thought of Taehyung this way, but barely knowing him, questioning his intentions were surely understandable.

It's as if he reads your expression and asks, "You're not upset now...right?"

"No. I got a little embarrassed earlier."

"I didn't know that meant so much to you..."

You flush. "I wouldn't say 'so much' you ain't that cute." Taehyung chuckles when you force a playful roll of your eyes.

"I may not be, but you sure are."

Gaping, "There you go, flirting again!" Taehyung laughs louder while defensively yelling, "I can't flirt now? What is this?"

"Since when do friends flirt?"

Taehyung points his finger out, correcting you. "I said 'weird friends' for a reason. We started off on a complicated foot, might as well add to the flames." He did it, he made you laugh.

With a large smile, you memorized the box-nature of it before starting your walk forward. He followed along, bouncing on his feet like a child before stopping mid-skip and asking, "We should hang out more."

"Should we now?"

"Yeah...you make my normal sadness disappear for a while."

You gasp playful. "Don't use me as a distraction the same you use your whitey."

Taehyung shakes. His jaw flexes then he mumbles, "Yikes. True."

"I'm down to hang out...but only the moments where you're happy. That way, you'll want my time genuinely and I'll know that when you're alone to your thoughts, you're actually working on it."

"Sighs," he says out loud and you nudge his side.

"I'm serious. We sad people need to pick ourselves up at the end of the day."

"How do you stop overthinking?" he asks sweetly, moving your hair off your shoulder.

When you glance at his fingers that awkwardly dip back to his side, there's a shyness that creeps on his cheeks before he smiles again. That box—it's a look you can't get enough of. You find yourself mimicking but failing. It's too perfect.

"I don't. I tell you I struggle just as much as the next guy."

"Do you distract yourself when alone?"

"I try not to."

"What do you do?"

"I allow myself to think...the moment it gets too bad for me and I start to shake..." you glance to his ears that listen. There's a softness he has, a silence. He cares to hear what you say next, "I just, I don't know, I cry on my own shoulder. I don't know how to describe it. Everyone has it different."

"I guess."

"Be your own best friend."

"You should be a preacher for all that you're spitting." Taehyung's lop-sided grin takes an appearance. "Screw being a lawyer."

"I thought I was good at it."

"You are."

With a sigh, you enter a building, turn into a hallway, and Taehyung still follows. "You confuse me sir," you say, and he smiles. Sadly, it wasn't boxy this time.

Then it all falls when your class nears, and you look over to where Taehyung gawks at. With furrowed brows, they unknit when catching Jungkook against the closest vending machine. He scrolls through his phone, leans cooly back, and clearly waits for—well, you. "Shit," you say, "I forgot he—" You can't finish. You look back to Taehyung who stops, looks to the ground, then turns to greet you a goodbye. "It's okay," he says, "...I'll uh, I'll text you. I was serious about meeting you again."

"Come with me to class." You blurt.

"Huh?"

"It's Uni and the class is huge. You'll be fine."

"You're in class with Jungkoo—"

"About time you two start talking again, don't you think?"

"No, I don—"

"He bothering you?" Jungkook's voice comes in strong and too loud.

Taehyung tenses and you move your hand hesitantly to his shoulder. If you take a second to blink, you'd notice that the boy's shoulders relax from your touch. Taehyung's eyes mark your face before he glances back to Jungkook who maneuvers his way over.

You roll your eyes when seeing Jungkook in his bulky jacket, jeans, and clanking Timberlands. His eyes hold anger and irritation and that makes your eyes roll. "Jungkook quit the macho-façade. He's your friend."

"I asked if he was bothering you."

"I was just leaving," Taehyung mumbles, moving your hand off his shoulder and into his hands.

Your heart jumps. The action distracts you from the initial stance you directed Jungkook's way. "I—" You stop when Taehyung's soft eyes meet yours. He shakes his head and smiles, but you see the pain behind it.

Squeezing your hand, the boy moves back. He smiles one last time, acknowledges Jungkook, then waves his greetings away. Jungkook, looking like a slightly sad guard dog, perks up and invades your space. Even if he was an established best friend, you hiccupped back and felt your heart hammer for a second. At the end of the day, he was still an attractive man inches away from you...

"What is it?"

"What're you doing talking to that ass?"

"He was an ass to you, not to me." You recover, blinking away from his mouth and over to his eyes.

"We're best friends. My bullshit is your bullshit." Jungkook whines. "Girl, come on I'm not about trying to see him every day. It's hard enough to ignore him in the first place."

With a smile, you fake an excited leap. "Oh wait! I've got an idea."

"What?" Jungkook mumbles.

With a smirk, you move your fingers over the boy's cheek. "Why don't you be a grown lil' man—a matured lil' man—talk to him. Work things out."

Jungkook flinches away from your hand. "Oh no," he dramatically whispers, "He's infected your brain."

"Jungko—"

"His deteriorated-ass has now got your brain cells collapsing—" Jungkook's hand slaps to your forehead, "Oh fuck, is that a fever? No! I can't lose you, I can't. Not to this parasite."

You grab his hand off your head with a flinch.

Jungkook grins when you hold his hand all while maintaining a glare.

"Let's just go to class," you mumble.

"Would love to," he whispers into your ear as you drag him.

"Are you going to be my partner for the lab coming up?" you ask, entering through the doors and starting to whisper now that many other students were already settled.

With an evil laugh, Jungkook smacks your butt the minute you bend to scoot into a chair. Yelping, a few laughs, while you glare the deadliest of glares. "Jungkook, how many times have I said not when I'm in class."

"Sorry, just thought I'd get a good one in before telling you the bad news."

"Bad news?" You're confused over why he's still standing and not sat next to you.

"I already told that cute guy at the back of the class that I'd be his partner...remember? The one who always sleeps and snorts so sweet? Remember?"

You don't smile. "You're ditching me for some guy?"

"Yes baby," he leans down and kisses your cheek. "I owe you one, I swear." Then he prances away before you can grab his cheeks, squeeze, and pray for his head to pop like the cheery in your mouth from earlier.

"I don't have a partner! This was all assigned last week!"

Jungkook blindly walks, unable to see amongst the sea of students that attend this class. One, one laughs and catches your angry gaze. You flush when seeing the girl smile and laugh, knowing her cocked brows were amused from the sudden shouts.

"I got ditched myself."

"By who?"

"The cute guy at the back of the class," the girl laughs. "I partnered with him briefly yesterday before leaving the lecture and finding out I was replaced."

"I guess rudeness attracts rudeness." You smile a little, seeing the girl nod and crack another joke. You laugh, not knowing how closely you could react to a person.

With furrowed brows, you ask, "I've never seen you in this class."

She shrugs, "I'm always either in the back, or in the far middle...okay, imma cut the bullshit. The first time I came to class was last week when I got ditched." You laugh and nod. "No judgements, I swear," you raise your hand, smile sweet and wait for the rest of the large class to roll in.

The girl itches in her seat with a twitch, whispers over and you glance over with kind eyes.

"I was wondering..."

"Yeah?" you innocently ask.

"Wanna be partners?"

You snort, feeling stupid. "Y-Yeah!" You laugh. "I'm sorry, I should'v—that possibility didn't enter my mind at all, I'm so sorry."

"What you say?" Her teeth move over her bottom lip. Her voice is easy on the ears, making anyone relax from the sound.

With a large smile, you nod and shift over seats. "Sounds like a plan. We're now partners."

With a struck-out hand, you introduce your name and watch the girl's brows furrow lightly. When you blink, her eyebrows are back to normal, making you believe it didn't happen.

Feeling the softness of her palm, her beautiful voice coos, "You can call me Ella."

You hand limps in hers.