Dear Diary

I turn a leaf over; beneath it; it's dry like it never rained. Thought I found a shelter. My dwelling place I found. I flip over a new page; it's blank; silence lays untapped. I have to write my story. I have to reinvent myself.

In my empty psycho room; I stare at the broken mirror and all these shades of hue onto my skin replenish my strife. If I could take off this coat off my skin, would I be the same?

Numb screams ricochets in my chest; each time I prick my wrist; blood oozes in spasms besides my bed; at times my suicidal thoughts swims in it. Something just brings me back to life. I wonder why.

Barely I remember my last date with the sun; the way it scorched my being; it held the keys to my hell. Each time I walked in streets my lips bled; my eyes turned green; my skin palely burnt; embers rose leaving my soul tainted with char. Leaving me defenseless. Do I need a daylight ring? God why did you curse me?

Questions to a God that barely speaks clouds my mind; demanding to be answered to. "I need to accept myself". "I'm beautiful beyond measure". All this thesis you keep feeding in your mind that we are the same. We are equals. How are we equals when you've put a price tag on my skin?

"Where's the needle?"
"Where's the syringe?"

Voices in mind wishes to slice my throat. At times I feel like walking nakedly along the street. And tell you, "take me as I am, cut me into pieces, shove me into a manilla bag. Sell my body parts to the highest bidder, I'm no use living behind this copper skin."

The broken mirror shows nothing but a disdain of a reflection; I'm an ingrate to this life that I'm given for free. The air that I breathe for free. What's the use of freedom when you walk lonely on its streets? My speech is collated into fragrance of sobs; each time I break down to my knees. "What part of biology did I miss?"

Melanin; effortlessly I've tried painting my skin, bleaching it with peach ink to look like you. But I'm beautiful. When my sanity abandons me, I dry my tears, I tell myself,

"My black is beautiful."