As title states. So yea

Edit: That got more than I thought
Also my confessions are like, confessions mk
Expect weirdness, don't say I didn't warn you

1. Once I almost took a piss on boar bones, then decided it would be impolite
0 context on that one

2. I had a friend who shited into the snow next to a war memorial while I begged her not to
I screamed in terror
She laughed at me
Good times

3. I like crawling through extensive shrubbery, feeling dehydrated and pulling thorns out of my skin
Mk that's not the best material for a confession but I think it fits anyway

4. Sometimes I like acting like I am cool and understand sarcasm
This book is pretty much the result of that
U welcome, that's the .

5. A scary amount of people think I'm cool, wise or intelligent if they do not know me
If they think that way too much, I'll generally pull a no u on them. Truth needs be sometimes

6. Same as 5. when I feel like someone likes me more than I want them to like me
Rejected a lot of people I met who wanted to be friends with me simply based on that they seemed too friendly or not weird enough for my taste.

7. I somewhat regularly get into a position of simultaneously feeling significantly dumber and smarter than others.
After a while of thinking, I realised that just means I have 0 clue what's up.

8. I should have died several times yet here I am
A trait I inherited from my father. Funny how that works

9. Fun fact about my father:
One of his catchphrases is "Dumb flesh needs to go"
= It's not a loss when people die in accidents caused by anything that might be slightly their fault
Hm, just who else might be affected by this.

Hint for the mentally challenged:
8. is not the result of a medical condition unless if you count idgaf syndrome.

10. I thought about it and I inherited more things from my father than I'd like
Why couldn't I inherit the cool stuff about him? 
Some measure of baseless self-confidence would be nice.

11. Mother Nature knew I was a genetic accident and tried to make me a miscarriage
She failed 
Her face musta been glorious

12. I sometimes get randomly obsessed with repetitive movements
Especially if they are in synch with something or flow very nicely

13.  An example to 12.:
Do a wavy movement with your fingers (hold the thumb still though)
Somewhen after I started doing that I saw a YouTube video where an anime named Konosuba was mentioned and there was a scene where a guy does that too, but it makes him have creepy superpowers.
Unluckily the guy also had a very similar laugh in that scene to how I do when I want to be creepy. Now I am worried that I am like him. I mean not really but it is... concerning

14. My father thought a good way to show acceptance of me growing up was gifting me a vibrator. I know I know. He aint the sharpest tool in the shed even if he is really smart with a couple of things. I decided I needed to teach him a lesson because that was a bit too hardline stupid. 

So my response:
1. Wait till he leave the house
2. Write paper "To the one who is really in need"
3. Put vibrator with paper into his drawer
4. evil_laugh.jpg

He never dared to mention that incident again, and I returned him the favour.
Mission accomplished

15. Recently this happened:

My sister:  Let's call each other by our middle names for fun!
Me: no
My sister: Well I'll do it anyway haha. *looks forward to annoying me*
Also my sister: addresses me by my first name in the very next sentence
Me: bruh
My sister:  :O

I consider this a total fail.

16. As subtly hinted at above, high-key low-IQ plays run in the family.
Therefore, my life mission is to ascertain my bloodline goes extinct.
If these genes spread, the apocalypse is upon us.

17. Edit to 16:
I just remembered that I have an older cousin from my father's side whose behaviour I have no control over
She has produced 2 offspring

Prepare your bunkers

18. The first time I drank tomato juice, I thought it looked like blood
Therefore I felt like a rawr vampire drinking it
Yum juice
Unfortunately, that feeling never went away
I am now stuck with an addiction to tomato juice whilst feeling edgy about it

19. I'm laughing constantly while writing this

20. When I close my eyes, I occasionally see people. Last time it happened, it was a beautiful girl with bronze skin, red braided hair and silver eyes staring upwards into light.
I think these are miniature dreams because they happen more often when I am tired. It is a bit strange though because this is not how my dreams usually go. 

21. I used to be friends with Florida Man

Twice.

I quit him because his taste in anime is bad

22. Jojo's is not a good anime, same goes for RWBY

23. Jojo's memes should be banned, RWBY memes died before they were born so it's fine

24. I have like two dozen chapters I did not publish because I always worry that reading my chapters can cause seizures and brain failure

25. Every time you pet a cat, thousands of live male chicklets get shreddered.
A clear sign that gender equality is not valued highly enough.
We need female chicken nuggets too.

#Don'tDrinkAndDrive

26. This teacher stole the move I always wanted to pull

27. Like, I always wanted to have a hideout in the ceiling of some place ever since I realised that the plates of this type of ceiling can be lifted after I went up some bathroom walls

28. Despite my official claims of having been raised on memes and insanity, I was actually raised on dad jokes and insanity. Please keep it secret, I might lose face

29. My favourite Death Note character is Ryuk. He understands apples, so his endeavours are slightly more fruitful than that of the average person in this manga.

30. The points 21. -29. are showcases of my usual humour when not using sarcasm.
I don't always use it in front of others because I don't think they get it
and I am not even sure if my humour is actually humour if I am the only one who laughs.
Tbh I am worried that I actually just have mutated dad jokes as humour due to massive exposure to my father's joke addiction when I was a little kid
The fact that I only pretend to know what classic dad jokes are is not helping

31. Peak rap, truly a class of its own.
Very clean, high quality production, slightly lacks speed though

https://youtu.be/pBhnsFAhGx4

32. 31. was no confession and you did not even notice.  As a punishment, you need to listen to the whole thing.

33. To be fair, the same as for 31. counts for 32. too. But I am nicer than I seem, so you do not need to listen to it again.

34. I have the worst possible taste in music.
Need proof?
I found 31. 2 days ago and have been listening to it since
on 1.5 speed

Consider myself as beyond saving at this point

35. I also find this nice. It reminds me of things I like. 
I never played any game of the series it is from even if I would like to though. 

https://youtu.be/MZvMWV9s9fs

36. If I was a group person and had an easier time deluding myself, there would have been a non-zero chance I could have become an otherkin at some point
I used to feel like the human design is wrong - I disliked the concept of skin, faces seemed ugly, and I felt like I should have scales, no protruding nose or ears, claws instead of fingers, and a strong but flexible tail
Middle school is one hell of a drug

At that point, I had no clue of otherkin or the secret rulership of the lizardmen.
It were just me, my hyperactive imagination and long periods of excessive boredom.

37. Someone once called me "more fun than drugs". 
It worried me to be compared to substances like that so I decided I need to be more reasonable.
I am unsure if it worked.

38. Someone said there are 2 types of people. Those who go on stage and those who observe.
This confuses me because someone has to have built the theatre.

39. I sometimes wonder what other people think of me.
Then I remember that they probably don't even know what to think.

40. I like to think I am fairly good at connecting random dots and seeing things where there are none (yet) compared to average but chances are that most just don't bother. 

41. this list got too long

I could tell more but 24. begs to differ