This chapter gets a little steamy hehe. It's so freaking awkward to write scenes like that, and I honestly don't know how/if I'm going to be able to write an ACTUAL sex scene *throws up* (Anyways I might be asexual). Other than that- some pretty big stuff happens. Hope ya'll enjoy. Also my lip ring got icky and I had to take it out so I'm big sad. Don't forget to vote and comment!!!!! :)) (Do it for the smut ;'>)

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Clem's p.o.v

"You're sure Blaise won't say a word?" 

"I'm positive," Draco assured me for what seemed to be the hundredth time, "Blaise doesn't care about much other than what's going on in his life, he'll barely even notice when you tell them." 

      It had been decided that I would tell my friends about my past. 

      The rest of our break had gone rather smoothly. We spent our days reading poetry or helping clean around the house. Our moment of respite was short lived, though, as we packed for our trip back to Hogwarts.

      The dull feeling on anxiety that had been plaguing my mind was now in full throttle, and my hands shook while I fiddled with the buckle of my suitcase. My feet felt lighter on the ground than usual. 

      Draco slipped his hand over mine, interlocking his ring finger and pinkie through mine. 

      It seemed that the issue of my floating hadn't gone away, and wasn't going to go away anytime soon. Draco had observed that it was triggered mostly when I was feeling afraid or anxious. 

      This was a problem, seeing as that seemed to be my default setting. 

"It'll be okay," Draco tried to comfort me, he really wasn't practiced with consoling me when it wasn't in reaction to his own actions, "Either way, you'll still have me." 

"I know," I sighed, giving him a soft kiss on the cheek before going to the closet to look for the Little One, as Draco had begun calling her, "Hello, sweetheart. You'll be good for Mrs. Hadley?" 

       Some time ago, it was decided that she would stay with Mrs. Hadley and Mohammed. It wasn't as if I didn't want to take her with me, but she'd taken a particular liking to my adoptive parents- and I hardly had enough time to spend time her with all the happenings of school. 

      It was bittersweet as she rubbed against my hand before running downstairs. 

      I went back to packing, quietly humming to the music playing from the radio- which Draco had turned on a while ago. 

      I went rigid as I felt two hands tightly wrap around my waist and the warmth of another person's chest pressed into my back.

"Too much?" Draco asked as I began to force my muscles to unfreeze. 

      I shook my head, slowly resuming my packing as he nuzzled into my neck. 

      After that night when I finally told Draco some of my darkest memories, we'd begun to work on my fear of being touched. Little by little, Draco would push my boundaries- always making sure I was comfortable with it- and slowly, I began not to mind as much. It was still hard, and sometimes he went too far on accident- to which he'd always stop, but I was getting better. 

      Exposure therapy, Mrs. Hadley had called it. 

      But this time, after the initial shock, the fear subsided to make way for a new emotion. It wasn't calmness- how could it be, with my heart pitter-pattering at the speed it was- but I think it would be more in tune with peacefulness, and safety. I could feel, more than hear, Draco humming in my ear, his chest vibrating with each restful note. 

"Are you enjoying this?" I asked, reaching my hand back to run my fingers through his hair. 

"Hm?" He hummed, leaning into my touch, "Enjoying what?" 

"Watching me pack my things," I answered with a humorous scoff. 

"I always enjoy watching you," He shrugged, pulling me in tighter, "It's my favorite thing to do."

"Really?" I asked, only getting a nod in return. 

      I turned my body in a way that I was now facing him, and my breath caught in my throat as I noticed the way his eyelids were slid only half open and the way that, even when I had already turned around and noticed the way he was looking at me, he was so lost in his own head that he merely trailed his eyes over me in a distant sort of way. 

       My eyes looked over his face in wonder, a soft smile making its way onto my lips. I lightly thumped his forehead with my knuckle, and in a quiet voice asking, "Are you okay in there?" 

"Mmm," He mumbled, slipping his fingers through the loops in my jeans and tugging me lightly in his direction, "I'm fine, why do you ask?" 

"You look like your about to eat me, Draco," I snorted, placing my hands on his chest. 

"I do?" He paused, raising his eyebrows with a chuckle, before dipping down and sighing in my ear, "And here I thought I was hiding it so well." 

      His breath was hot on my ear, and it sent a shiver down my spine. I could feel him smirk into the crook of my neck as he planted soft kisses all the way to my collar bone. He trailed his way up to my jaw, and then finally stopping at my lips.

"You rarely kiss me first," He mused, his breath hitting my face. 

"Is that what you want?" I asked quietly, pulling my eyes from his lips to his eyes, "For me to kiss you?" 

"That's the only thing I want." 

"I see," I hummed, raising my eyebrows. 

      He must've realized that I wasn't going to do it, because he huffed in annoyance- using a hand to grab either side of my jaw and tilting my head up so that our lips were almost touching.

"You don't want to?" He muttered, his eyes roaming over my face. 

"I do." 

      Something flashed through his eyes that I couldn't quite place, and his eyes seemed to become darker. He took a step closer, my head still tilted up by his hand, "Then do it."

      And so I did. 

      As soon as our lips connected, he slinked one hand around my hip- clawing for me to be closer to him. The other hand was preoccupied around my neck, as he softly pressed down on it with such tenderness that the thought of getting hurt never even cross my mind. 

      His hand roamed up my shirt, the coldness of his fingers making me shiver. He smiled into the kiss, pawing at my skin. 

      There was a chair somewhere behind Draco, and he wasted no time pulling me into his lap as he sat down- never once letting me go. I straddled him, pulling at his hair as he deepened the kiss. Slowly, he lifted my shirt up- his eyes holding mine the whole time. 

"Too much?" He asked again, and I shook my head- causing him to grin, "Good." 

      He started to grind, and I couldn't help but notice how hard it felt. I went to work on matching his pace as he began to kiss down my neck, and then my chest, all the way to the top of my breasts. Every so often he'd look back up at me to see if I was still okay. He began to leave kiss marks, sucking on the skin and then blowing on it with cold air- causing me to moan. 

     I could feel him smile against my chest, gulping as he let out a hot huff of air. He sort of dipped me down so that I was hanging over the chair, raising me back up as he left a trail of kisses from the top of my jeans, to my stomach, to my chest, my neck, and finally my mouth again. 

      Once again, he paused at my lips, a teasing look in his eyes. 

"Draco," I pleaded, and his eyes widened to the point where I was scared he was in shock.

      All of his muscles seemed to lock in place as he stared at me, taking deep breaths. 

"Draco?" I asked again, only to get a hand put over my mouth.

"Please stop," He begged, panting, getting a nod from me, "Too much." 

"Too much?" I asked, furrowing my eyebrows. 

"Too much," He repeated, "That was too much for me."

"What do you mean?" 

"I wouldn't have been able to stop if I didn't stop now," He continued, nuzzling into the crook of my neck, sighing, "Fucking hell, you're going to be the death of me." 

"It's because I can't go further," I said, causing him to shake his head, "I'm sorry." 

"Don't be," He huffed, "One day we'll get there, there's no rush. And even if that doesn't happen, I'll manage." 

      He pulled my shirt down before going back to hugging me. There was a moment of silence where a rare emotion resided over me. Mischief. 

"Draco," I echoed the way I'd said it earlier, and he went rigid. 

"I'm warning you, Janus," He grumbled into my neck, but I could feel him smiling as well, "I'll fuck you right now if you don't stop."

"Draco." 

"Janus," He warned. 

"Draco." 

"I bet you think your really witty." 

"I do try my best," I grinned, pulling his head away from my shoulder with raised eyebrows, "Did you know that I wanted to be a comedian when I was a kid?" 

"I hate you so much," He sighed, laying his head against my chest again. 

"Really?" I asked. 

"Really," He laughed, pulling me in tighter, nuzzling further into my chest, and in the softest voice, humming, "I really do." 

      The rest of the day was spent with packing and goodbyes. By the time we had gotten to the train station, it seemed all emotion except anxiety seemed to have been depleted from my system. 

"It'll be okay," Draco assured me yet again as we made our way onto the train. 

       I felt as though my whole body was shaking as I followed after Draco, who was doing a great job of pushing past the mass of students trying to get to their train compartment. It was an environment that would've made me scared not even three months ago. 

      But now, I smiled, because his hand was pulling mine through the crowd without a care in the world as to who was watching. 

"Clem," I heard Minnie's screech, and then the thud of a body against mine. 

      It had been some time since I'd last heard that name. 

      She grinned up at me before running back to Elnora, who got up and gently hugged me. Blaise seemed to already be sat, and he nodded at me. Cedric was nowhere to be found, nor Luna- I assumed that she had found seating elsewhere. 

      I sat down with Draco, looking across the table to El, Minnie, and Blaise- who, like me, spent most of his time looking out the window of the train. Under the table, Draco ran his thumb over my hand to calm me down. 

"Where's Cedric?" I asked, causing Draco to huff in annoyance. 

"He'll be here," Elnora assured, "He's just running late." 

      As if on cue, the door slid open excitedly- revealing an out of breath Cedric. His hair was messy and his cheeks were flushed. He grinned one of his signature lopsided grins, "Sorry I'm late. I had some business to attend to." 

"I'll bet," Minnie laughed.

"Clem!" Cedric ignored her, impatiently bouncing as he waited on me to move to the middle of the seat, rather than by the window- he had forced me to- much to Draco's dismay. 

      He slid next to me, slinging an arm over my shoulder. I could feel Draco stiffen next to me, but he said nothing. 

"How are you?" Cedric asked, fixing his hair.

"Actually," I sighed- my heart beating so loud that I was afraid they could tell-and moved his arm off of me gently, "I've got something I need to talk to you guys about." 

      The compartment went silent as I looked around nervously. Draco threaded his fingers through mine; his hands were clammy, or maybe it was mine- I couldn't tell. 

"What is it, Clem?" Elnora asked, sitting up. 

      Even Blaise's attention had been pulled from the window he had been so ardently gazing through. My leg was bouncing and Draco gently pressed a palm against my knee to calm me. 

      This was a big decision. In fact, it was one of the biggest decisions of my life. Flashbacks to the jeering faces of my peers entered my mind. All of my so-called friends' words drifted through the pain-ridden realm of my mind. 

      She should be ashamed.

      Do you think she helped him?

     She had to have known. 

     It's her fault. 

    She killed them. 

    She didn't help them. 

     It's all her fault. 

     Killer. 

"Clementine," Cedric nearly shouted, breaking me loose from my lapse in sanity. 

      My friends were all looking at me with so much worry that it almost made me tear up. I'd been hyperventilating, it seemed. Draco now had both hands holding one of mine. His eyes looked wild, as if he'd just seen the innerworkings of my mind. I gave him a half-hearted smile. 

      I took a moment to look at the group in front of me, and sighed. They wanted me to be happy, I knew that for certain. It was more stability than my old friends would've ever given me. I couldn't keep lying to them. It wasn't what they deserved- regardless of their reactions.

"Janus," I whispered, and though it was barely audible- I could tell the whole cart had hung onto the word. 

"What?" Minnie asked, causing me to sit up straighter- with the help of Draco. 

"Janus," I repeated, this time louder, "Janus Laurier." I paused when none of them seemed to unfreeze from their confusion, "That's my name." 

"What?" They seemed to echo one another, and now that I'd said it- and there was no taking it back- I began to regret my decision. 

       The words that were supposed to be coming out of my mouth seemed to have gotten stuck in my throat, about half way up- which was of no use to me. Draco must've seen the panic in my eyes, because he used two of his knuckles to lightly push my jaw- grabbing my attention. I turned to him, and he smiled comfortingly. 

"Talk to me," He whispered, his eyes flickering to the people watching, "Not them." 

      I furrowed my eyebrows, causing him to smile, his eyes holding so much adoration that I couldn't help but do as he asked. 

"What's your name?" He began with the basics, but it still seemed so scary.

"Janus Laurier," I could feel all of the eyes on me, but I kept staring at Draco. 

"Where are you from?" 

"Australia." 

"Why did you move here?" 

"My mom," I choked out, fighting the tears brimming in my eyes, "She died." 

"How did she die?" 

"She was murdered," I answered, hearing small gasps to my left, "By a wizard." 

"Why couldn't you stay with your dad?" He asked, tightening his grip on my hand when he saw the panic resurface, whispering, "You can do it." 

"I couldn't stay with him," I began, stopping as my eyes flickered to everyone else's faces, only for him to turn my face back to him. He gave me a meaningful look and I knew that it was now or never, "Because he went insane. Because he's a serial killer. And after he killed all those wizards, he tried to kill me too." 

      The silence was deafening and I dared not look away from my one beacon of safety. Though the others couldn't tell- of course they wouldn't, their brains were occupied trying to process what I'd just told them- Draco's hand was pushing on my hip, holding me down so that I wouldn't float to the top of the train; I could feel that my body wasn't abiding by the laws of gravity at the moment. 

"You did good," Draco mumbled, tucking a piece of hair behind my ear, his eyes trailing over my face, "So good." 

"Wait a minute," Blaise spoke, surprising us all, "Laurier?" 

"Yes," I muttered, looking at the group for the first time. My eyes flashed to Cedric, who was stiffly looking at me, before turning my attention back to Blaise, "That's my last name." 

"And your dad was a murderer?" He asked, as though he was realizing something, "The Witch Hunter." 

"The Witch Hunter," Elnora gasped, looking at me in horror, "That's your dad?" 

      I nodded solemnly, refusing to make eye contact with any of them. One could cut the tension in the air. I tried to look to Cedric, but he was just staring at me with wide eyes. He didn't look mad, but it was like he couldn't process what I was saying. 

      Not a single person said a word as I looked at all of them. I wasn't sure what I expected- maybe screaming or something of the sort- but it wasn't complete silence. Usually people had some sort of reaction, but they were all just silent. I waited with baited breath, seemingly getting no response. 

"Welp," Minnie sighed as she looked around the compartment, finally breaking the tension, "That's unfortunate." 

       I'd never wanted to hug anyone more in my entire life. 

"Seriously," Cedric caught on, seeming to have finally been called from his frozen stupor, "That's got to suck, man." 

       I nodded. It was more than I could've hoped for. Not only had they accepted it without backlash, but they'd also somehow dissipated the awkwardness. 

      My attention turned to Blaise, who merely shrugged, looking back out the window. Then, finally, I looked to Elnora. She was staring vehemently at the table, and I almost could've sworn I saw tears in her eyes. 

"El?" I asked in a nervous voice. 

      She cleared her throat, shaking her head as if dismissing her thoughts, a weak smile plastering on her face. 

"El?" I repeated, "El, you're okay?" 

"I'm great," She dismissed, moving about in her seat, "Just a lot to process." 

      Draco coughed, after watching us stare at each other for a moment. We looked to him, "Just wait till you find out she can fly without a broom." 

"WHAT?" Cedric and Minnie screamed as El furrowed her eyebrows, even Blaise looking back to the conversation. 

      I silently thanked Draco for changing the subject, though I wish he would've prepared me before telling them that secret- but I guess today was the day I was to come clean about my life.

"It's only sometimes," I tried, only to have Minnie interrupt me. 

"Only sometimes, she says," Minnie shouted, "Only sometimes?"

"You have to show us, Clem," Cedric said, then stopping himself, "Or, Janus, I mean?" 

"Clem is fine," I sighed, "Less confusing to stay with one name- and I'd rather not tell the whole school about my unfortunate lineage." 

"We won't tell anyone," Elnora assured, causing me to smile as the whole cart nodded.

"I can't control it anyways," I continued, bringing us back to the topic at hand, "It's only when I'm scared. And it's more of a floating than flying." 

"She can't control it yet," Draco corrected. 

      And with that, the journey to Hogwarts continued without another hitch. There were a few questions about my adolescence, but none too invasive not to answer. Everyone had seemingly made peace with the fact that my father was a murderer. It almost made me frustrated that they accepted it so easily, seeing as I'd been struggling to tell them for many months now.

      It was only after we had eaten dinner and gone back to our common rooms that I got the feeling that something wasn't quite right. Every time I tried to talk to El, she'd find a reason to leave. But now, when we were alone in our dorm room, she couldn't escape. 

"El?" I asked as she stood by the window, looking out it as if it were her lifeline.

"Yes, Clem?" She asked; at least we were on speaking terms. 

"Are you angry with me?" I continued, making my way over to the window.

"Honestly, Clem," She sighed in such a gentle voice, "A little bit." 

      I sighed, sliding down the wall so that I was facing the opposite direction than her as she stared out the window, and I rested my head against her legs. She didn't move away, "I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize," She seemed to snap out of her trance, sliding down the wall as well so that we were sitting shoulder to shoulder.

      I looked to her in confusion. Was I not worthy enough to even apologize? 

"I'm not mad because your dad's a killer, Clem," She explained, and even though she was angry- she had so much kindness within her, "I'm mad because you've been keeping that in all this time that I've known you. I'm mad because, I thought we were best friends, but I've been calling you Clem since we've met and your name's not even Clementine-"

"Who said my name isn't Clementine?" 

"You did," She answered, furrowing her eyebrows, "You said it was Janus." 

"It is," I nodded my head, "But it's also Clementine." 

"I don't understand." 

"Name's are just the things we use to identify people," I shrugged, leaning my head on her shoulder.

      I could tell that she still didn't get it as she let out a hot breath of air. 

"I've changed since I came here," I answered her unspoken question, "I'm not the girl that wanted nothing to do with anything other than herself anymore. I care about things, about people, about you. I feel differently than I did before. I'm not that Janus anymore. Clem was just a name that Mrs. Hadley had picked out for me that she'd seen on T.V. It didn't mean anything until you guys started calling me that. Calling me Clem. Teaching me how to feel again, all the while calling me that name. I still have some of what's leftover from my childhood- I'm still Janus. But I also have what's been given to me by you guys, all of that love, and memories, and friendship- and that's what makes me Clementine." 

      It took a long while before she spoke again. She seemed to be crying- I hoped from happiness- and she couldn't speak through the sobs. 

"I guess I'm not really mad at you," She sniffled, lying down on my lap, "More at myself, really, for ever making you think that you couldn't trust me enough to tell me. I should've made you understand." 

"It's not your fault," I shrugged, "How could it be? You've only shown me kindness. It's just the leftovers from past trauma. And you did make me understand- or else we wouldn't even be having this conversation." 

      She merely hummed in response as I traced her back. I'd never understood why people put more weight into romantic relationships than platonic. It just didn't make sense to me because the ravenous love that my chest held captive for the friend lying in my lap rivaled that of Draco- and I knew that it could be nothing less than equal. There was nothing I wouldn't do for her- my first true friend- and I wanted nothing more than her happiness.

"Anything else?" I asked after a moment. 

"I just," She sighed, sitting up, "I just wish I could've been there for you when it was happening. You don't deserve what you went through- and it makes me shudder to think you had to go through that alone." 

"At least I'm not alone now," I offered, feeling much of the same emotion I had with Mrs. Hadley. 

"Yes, you're right, of course," She chuckled, taking my face in between her hands, and in a very stern voice saying, "And you won't be ever again."