Chapter 12

Pablo looked equally surprised nang masalo niya iyong garter. My eyes were probably wide because I was surprised, too. Why was he in the middle? I mean, maybe he was dragged there like me? But... why did he catch the garter? Kanina kasi iwas na iwas ako dun sa bulaklak. At kahit ihagis sa akin mismo ni Therese iyong bulaklak, ihahagis ko pabalik sa kanya iyon.

So... why was he holding the damn garter?

Na kanina lang ay nasa legs ng kapatid ko?

God, nagiinit na agad ang ulo ko.

"Ang swerte nitong babaeng 'to! Ang gwapo nung makakapartner!" sabi nung host.

I felt everyone's eyes on me. I forced a smile on my face. I refused to look like someone insecure na hindi papayag sa ganito. Ang dami na ngang sinasabi ng pamilya ko sa akin, dadagdagan ko pa ba?

Why did I care so much? Kung kasing dali lang talaga kagaya nung sinasabi ni Pablo na 'wag magkaroon ng pakielam sa sinasabi ng pamilya.

Lumapit iyong host kay Pablo.

"Hi! Ano'ng name mo?" he asked at saka itinapat kay Pablo iyong microphone.

"Pablo," he replied with the smile that usually makes me swoon, but right now, it's making my blood simmer.

"Ang gwapo ng boses, sis! Lucky day mo na ata!" sabi nung host sa pinsan ni Leo.

Pablo smiled. "Happily taken," sabi ni Pablo at saka tumingin sa gawi ko kaya naman nagtinginan lahat sa akin. Normally, I would hate being the center of attention lalo na kapag nandito ako sa Bataan... but for some reason, I liked that he quickly made it known na boyfriend ko siya. I mean, granted na ngayong araw lang naman, but still, he's with me.

"Ay, may girlfriend!" sabi nung host. I just smiled. "Pwede bang sumali iyong boyfriend mo? Katuwaan lang naman."

I smiled again. "Up to him," I replied because I really refused na magmukhang insecure girlfriend sa harapan nilang lahat. I knew that they're already thinking na 'jackpot' ako kay Pablo at baka sobrang nakabakod ako sa kanya.

He's a catch, alright, but I'm a catch, too.

"Game ka ba?" the host asked.

Pablo shook his head. "No, I can't," sabi niya at saka iaabot sana pabalik iyong garter sa host.

"Katuwaan lang naman," the host nudged. Ang pushy, ha. Sinabi na ngang ayaw, e. "Mukhang okay naman sa girlfriend, e. 'Di ba?" he asked, looking at me. Once again, I shrugged.

"I don't want to participate, though," Pablo said and then smiled politely once again at saka naglakad at iniabot kay Leo iyong garter. He said something to Leo and Therese na naging dahilan kung bakit kumunot iyong noo ng kapatid ko.

The host was forced to move on dahil naglalakad na pabalik sa akin si Pablo. I tried to play it cool dahil ramdam ko pa rin iyong tingin ng mga tao sa paligid ko.

"You could've said yes," sabi ko nang makabalik siya sa tabi ko.

"I wasn't really interested," sagot niya.

"Okay," sabi ko. "Ano na lang sinabi mo sa kanila?"

"To your sister?" he asked, purposely not mentioning Leo's name. Kung makaarte 'to parang mas malaki pa ang atraso ni Leo sa kanya kaysa sa akin, e.

I nodded. "Yup. May sinabi ka ba?"

He shrugged. "Nothing. Just told them I didn't want to participate because that's disrespectful to you, my girlfriend."

I felt my heart beating faster at the words that he used. But I begged myself na umayos dahil hindi naman pwede na laging ganito ang reaksyon ko kapag may sasabihin siya na ganito. So, I straightened my back and acted like he didn't just make my heart skip a beat dahil sa sinabi niya.

"Ginamit mo pa ako na dahilan."

Natawa siya. "It's true, though."

"So, kung wala ako, sasali ka sa ganon?"

He shrugged. "All in good fun," sabi niya.

"Okay."

"I mean, if I'm single, sure, why not," dugtong niya. "I've done worse things at weddings."

Inabot ko iyong baso at saka inubos iyong tubig. Would he tell me about his wedding hookups? Because I sincerely thought that today's not the day that I would like to hear the story—or probably ever. Hindi naman ako nakatira sa fairytale—of course he's been with other women. But do I want to hear about it? Hell no. I'd like to be kept in the dark when it came to the details.

"Your face," sabi niya.

"Ano?" tanong ko na nakakunot ang noo.

"What were you thinking?"

"About?"

"The worse things I did."

"Nothing," I said in a monotone voice. Bakit niya ba pinupush 'to? Ito ba iyong proper venue para mag-share kaming dalawa ng hookup stories? Unfair naman sa akin kasi wala akong masyadong ganong story. Bakit kasi kailangan ko muna makilala kahit papaano, e! Ayoko nung sobrang hi, hello, then boom, sex agad.

He got his phone. Kapag ito may picture pang pinakita sa akin, iiwan ko 'to ngayon. Bahala siyang mag-entertain sa mga tita ko.

"Look," sabi niya tapos ay may pinakita sa akin. I was already frowning nang tumingin ako sa phone niya. I was expecting to see some photo ng isa sa mga naging babae niya nang kumunot ang noo ko dahil iba ang nasa screen.

"Ano 'yan?" I asked.

"Well, my friends saw this video online and they wanted to do it for the wedding," he said as a video of a group of guys dancing to some Indian song—not sure—was playing on his phone.

"Oh, my god," I said with my eyes partly wide open nang makita ko iyong mukha ni Pablo. God, sobrang gwapo niya lang talaga kapag naka-suit! He was even wearing a pair of sunglasses sa video.

"Yeah... As you can see, I really can't dance."

I couldn't peel my eyes off from the video of them dancing. Iyong mga mata ko ay hinahanap lang siya sa video. He was standing in the back kaya naman minsan ay hindi siya kita sa video. But every time he'd be seen, kitang-kita ko na nakatawa siya at mukhang nag-e-enjoy siya sa ginagawa niya.

"No," I said, frowning, nung ipe-play ko sana ulit iyong video, pero kinuha niya iyong cellphone niya at ibinalik sa bulsa niya. "I wanna watch again."

Umiling siya. "One time viewing."

"Is that on the internet?"

Umiling siyang muli. "One of the conditions was that this video shall never be uploaded online," sabi niya sa akin.

I frowned. "But you all looked so good!"

"Who looks good?" tanong niya sa akin. "All my friends are taken."

Natawa ako. "No," sabi ko. "I mean, you all looked like you were having fun."

"That's not how I remember it," sagot niya. "I remember worrying because I didn't want to mess the choreo."

"Gaano kayo katagal nag-practice?"

"A week, I think?"

"I wanted to just elope abroad, but now that I've seen your dancing video, I kinda want to have a wedding and a party with friends," sabi ko sa kanya.

"Elope abroad?" he asked.

I nodded. "Yup. That way, no one can attend."

Natawa siya sa akin na naiiling. We continued to talk until I excused myself again para pumunta sa CR. There was a line doon sa CR na pinuntahan ko kanina, so I had to look for another one dahil naiihi na talaga ako.

Paglabas ko sa CR, medyo nagulat ako dahil nakita ko si Leo na nakatayo roon sa may balcony.

"Hi," I said dahil napatingin siya sa gawi ko. "Didn't mean to disturb you," dugtong ko dahil mukhang pumunta siya rito para mapagisa.

I'd been friends with him for a long time. I was actually a bit surprised when he agreed sa ganito kalaking kasal. One of the things I liked about him before ay same kami ng gusto. Ayaw niya rin nung ganito. I remember him telling me before that kung siya lang, ayaw niya magpakasal. He said it's just a piece of paper. But it was more like coming from the fact na maraming magasawa ang nakapaligid sa kanya ang hiwalay na, pero hindi makapaghiwalay dahil mahirap ang proseso ng annulment sa Pilipinas. He also said that no piece of paper can make you commit if you don't want to commit.

And the fact that he said yes to all this?

He really loves my sister.

"Sorry," he said.

"For what?" I asked because that was a general statement and I felt like there were some things that he needed to be sorry about.

"Pwedeng in general na lang?"

Natawa ako. "Yeah... Sure. Why not."

Hindi ko alam kung bakit nakatayo lang ako doon. I should be leaving. I should be walking back to my boyfriend, Pablo, but for some reason, I was still here.

Like... an unfinished business.

Akala ko tapos na—but as it seemed, there were some things that still needed to be talked about.

"Mukhang masaya ka na."

"Hindi ba ako mukhang masaya dati?" I asked because although we never really talked anymore, nagkikita naman kami.

"Mukha naman," sabi niya. "Iba lang ngayon."

"Ganon siguro talaga kapag nasa tamang tao."

Maybe it really was my fault. Dati kasi, I kept on waiting for the perfect time to tell him about how I really felt. O baka kasi nakampante ako na akala ko ay gusto niya rin ako? Kasi ganoon ba kapag 'friends?' O baka kulang lang ako sa atensyon sa bahay kaya kapag may tao na nagpakita kahit ng kaunting atensyon, nahuhulog agad ako?

O baka niligtas na lang din ako ni Universe.

Imagine kung nag-confess ako sa kanya talaga tapos sinabi niya sa akin na'sorry, mas gusto ko iyong kapatid mo?' I would've just died right there and then.

But now... it's still a bit hard.

Unspoken thoughts.

Unshared feelings.

Saan lulugar?

Paano magkaka-closure kung wala namang nasimulan talaga?

"Nasa tamang tao ka rin naman, ah," I said because I didn't want the atmosphere to be this heavy. "To be honest, hindi ko akalain na magtatagal kayo ni Therese."

Ngumiti siya. "Hindi ko rin akalain."

"Talaga?"

He nodded. "Akala ko hindi siya seryoso sa akin."

"Seryoso ka?"

Tumango siya. "I thought—" sabi niya tapos ay napahinto. He just smiled at me.

"What?" I asked because he didn't finish what he was saying.

Umiling siya. "Wala."

I frowned. "Alam mo naman na ayoko nung ganon."

Natawa siya. "Right... Sorry. Nalimutan ko. Tagal na rin nating 'di nagusap, e."

"Naguusap naman tayo."

"Iyong Happy New Year?" he asked. "Counted ba 'yon?"

I shrugged. Kapag Pasko kasi, sa pamilya niya siya. Kapag New Year, doon siya sa amin kaya naman nakikita ko siya kahit ayoko.

"So, ano nga iyong sasabihin mo?"

I saw him took a deep breath. "Akala ko hindi siya seryoso talaga. Akala ko gusto niya lang ako nun kasi kasama kita."

My lips parted at the words that I was hearing from him. What the fuck was he talking about? I wanted to ask him, but I didn't know where to start.

"Pero kinasal naman kami kaya baka sa isip ko lang 'yon," he said. Then he looked behind me. "Hinahanap ka yata ng boyfriend mo," he added before he smiled at me and then excused himself.

I stood there, trying to process what he just told me. Hindi ko alam kung gaano ako katagal na nakatayo lang doon nang tumalikod ako at nakita ko si Pablo na nakatingin lang sa akin at seryoso ang mukha. 

**
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