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Chapter 22 - Less Than Before


At first, June thought she was imagining it.

The human brain had a habit of inventing patterns where none existed. Perhaps that was all this was. Perhaps the silence had made her hyperaware. Perhaps she was simply paying attention to things she used to overlook.

That explanation lasted approximately two weeks.

Then she was forced to admit the truth.

Something had changed.

Not dramatically.

That was the irritating part.

If Elliot had disappeared completely, June would have understood.

If he had announced that he needed distance, she would have understood that too.

Instead, he occupied an uncomfortable space somewhere in between.

He was still there.

Just less.

The messages still arrived.

Not every day.

The calls still happened.

Not as often.

He still remembered details.

Still asked about projects.

Still sent photographs of random things that somehow reminded him of her.

Yet the rhythm had changed.

The difference was subtle enough that nobody else would have noticed it.

June noticed.

The first time it happened, she ignored it.

The second time, she shrugged.

By the fifth or sixth time, she found herself becoming annoyed.

Which was ridiculous.

Completely ridiculous.

One evening she posted a small update from a project she had been working on.

Nothing important.

The sort of thing Elliot normally commented on within minutes.

Hours passed.

Nothing.

June checked the post once.

Then twice.

Then became irritated with herself for checking at all.

The following morning, a message finally appeared.

"Looks good."

That was it.

Three words.

June stared at the screen.

Then looked at the timestamp.

Fourteen hours.

Fourteen.

She almost laughed.

The reaction made no sense.

Normal people replied fourteen hours later all the time.

Some took days.

Some never replied at all.

Yet somehow those three words bothered her more than they should have.

Because for two years, Elliot had never been a fourteen-hour person.

He had been an immediately person.

A remember person.

A follow-up person.

A "how did it go?" person.

Now he wasn't.

And June couldn't decide whether she hated the change or hated herself for noticing it.

A week later, she found herself complaining about it to a friend.

Not intentionally.

The subject simply appeared.

As subjects often did.

"I think he's being weird."

The friend looked up immediately.

"Elliot?"

June frowned.

"How did you know?"

"Because you're only ever confused by one person."

"I am not."

"You are."

June ignored that.

"He's different."

The friend waited.

"And?"

"And what?"

"What does that mean?"

June opened her mouth.

Then closed it again.

Because suddenly she couldn't explain it.

How did you describe the absence of something?

The disappearance of a habit?

The space left behind when someone stopped doing things you had never realized they were doing?

"He just is."

The friend stared at her.

Then smiled.

A slow, knowing smile that June immediately disliked.

"Oh."

"What?"

"Oh."

"What?"

The smile became worse.

Much worse.

June pointed a finger at her.

"Don't."

"I didn't say anything."

"You were about to."

"I wasn't."

"You were."

The friend laughed.

June hated when people laughed during serious conversations.

Especially when she wasn't included.

The subject changed shortly afterward.

June tried to forget it.

She failed.

Three days later, she finished a project she had spent nearly a month working on.

Out of habit, she reached for her phone.

The movement happened automatically.

Almost unconsciously.

She stopped halfway.

Then stared at her own hand.

The realization arrived slowly.

For two years, Elliot had always been one of the first people she told.

Not because she needed validation.

Not because she needed advice.

Simply because he was there.

The thought lingered for a few seconds before she dismissed it.

Then her phone vibrated.

June blinked.

The timing felt absurd.

She unlocked the screen.

A message.

From Elliot.

Of course.

The text was short.

"Finished?"

June stared at it.

Then at the clock.

Then back at the message.

No context.

No explanation.

Just one word.

Finished?

For some reason, that irritated her.

Maybe because he was right.

Maybe because he always seemed to know.

Or maybe because she suddenly realized that even after everything had changed, Elliot was still paying attention.

Just differently.

The distinction felt important.

June wasn't entirely sure why.

She typed her reply.

"Yes."

Three dots appeared immediately.

Then:

"Proud of you."

June stared at the screen.

The words were familiar.

Comfortingly familiar.

Yet somehow they felt different now.

Not because Elliot had changed.

Because she had finally started noticing.

Outside, evening settled over the city.

Inside, June sat alone at her desk staring at two simple words.

Proud of you.

For years, she had treated things like that as background noise.

Now she wasn't so sure.

And for the first time since Elliot returned, June found herself asking a question she had spent two years avoiding.

What exactly had he been to her all this time?

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