||Disclaimer i talk about serious issues here like suicidal thoughts and attempts, cutting, and depression||
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i keep messing things up...
for a while now ive been really depressed and i hate to admit but suicidal. i hate to talk about this because irl you see me and i look happy but inside im not im shattered im numb and just another person who will die some day. i dont talk about my feelings or anything that goes on inside my head because i feel like if i tell someone they have another reason to leave. because what goes on inside my head is scary its like something out of a horror movie.. i close myself off from the world so i can just disappear from my problems but they just stick on to me like the gum at the bottom of your shoe that you cant take off.. but because i section myself off from the world is the reason i lost my girlfriend because of me i made her think i dont care or love her anymore.. i always do things wrong i suck at being a good friend, person or a good enough girlfriend to make her happy.. i started to cut myself again after two years i let my two year streak die.. and that is my some what smoot transition into this topic the other day i had found out my friend had tried to kill herself and it really made me think about the three years ive known her and how that exact same day she tried to kill herself i tried too and i lied down in bed the day after thinking about what would've happened if we both did it how would people react? but all that came into my mind is that people would just forget about it and how i never got to say sorry to her all those years ago

sorry about my depressed ass
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Lya over and out..