Lucas runs his fingers through my hair. The soothing motion feels so much like a dream that I don't want to open my eyes and make it stop.

He kisses my temple and I stir at his touch. I lazily open my eyes, expecting him to be lying in bed next to me, but I find him kneeling on the floor beside me instead.

He smiles warmly at me, and as I take him in, I realize he's fully dressed. My throat thickens. "You're leaving?"

He nods slowly. "I wish I could stay, Audi, but if I don't leave soon, I'm going to miss my flight."

I nod in understanding, despite dreading this moment for the last two days. But my heart betrays me just like I knew it would, and my eyes fill with tears.

Lucas curses under his breath, enveloping me in his arms.

I breathe him in, trying to control myself, but his arms around me just emphasize everything I'm going to miss once he's gone.

Lucas takes my face in his hands and brushes away my tears with his thumbs. He kisses my lips softly, then whispers in my ear, "I'm coming back for you, Claudia. As soon as I can. I promise."

I wrap my arms around him, begging my heart to calm down enough so I can speak. "I love you so much, Lucas."

"I love you more, Audi. I'm going to miss you like crazy." He pulls back from me and traces his finger across my cheek. "Lie back down for me." I look at him, confused for a moment, but I get back in bed. He pulls the covers over me. He smiles through a saddened face, running his fingers through my hair again. "I want to remember you like this."

I grab his hand, wanting to hold on to the last seconds before he leaves. I know he's trying to make this goodbye easier, but goodbyes are never easy. There's never anything good about them.

"Go back to sleep, Audi. It's early."

I nod, and he places a pillow behind my back. I don't know why, but it feels comforting every time he does it.

"Thank you, Lucas. For everything."

"I'm just going for a spin. I'll be back soon."

I smile at his comment. "Call me once you get to California."

He assures me he will, then proceeds to kiss my neck as he whispers in my ear over and over that he loves me.

I close my eyes to prevent more tears from falling. He kisses me one last time before he stands up. I hear him grab his bag, and then he opens the door to my bedroom. I keep my eyes closed. I don't want to have the image of him walking away stay with me like it did when I was younger.

I sigh as he closes the door behind him, and I sigh even deeper as I hear the front door shut. I pull the covers over my head, and for the second time in my life, I cry myself to sleep.

❄️

It's past noon when I wake up. I get out of bed and walk to the kitchen only because my stomach is aching. I think I might pass out if I don't eat something soon.

I pour myself some cereal and sit down at the table. My crunching is the only noise that fills the apartment and it's rather depressing. I wish Julia were back already so I could talk to her. I'm sure she has a long list of exciting stories to share. I could really use them right now.

I inhale sharply, propping my elbow on the table and resting my cheek against my palm. I soon realize that my hand smells like Lucas. His cologne, to be exact. It must have rubbed off when I wrapped my arms around his neck, clinging to him for dear life.

Well, there goes my plan to shower after this.

I dump the empty bowl in the sink and head back to my room. I don't think I'll be able to do much today besides mope in bed.

As I pass by my desk, Lucas's baseball cap catches my attention. I stop to pick it up. To my surprise, I find one of my notebooks opened beneath it. I immediately recognize Lucas's handwriting, and my heart clutches in my chest. It hasn't changed at all since we were in eighth grade.

I pick up the notebook and climb into bed with it. For a moment, I debate whether I should save this for an extra bad day, but I'm kind of feeling like I'm already having one now. Plus—I don't think I have the willpower to wait.

I take a deep breath and read the letter he wrote me:

Claudia,

I'm writing this letter to you in the early hours of the morning, so forgive me if I sound somewhat delusional.

I'm about to wake you up to say goodbye, and I just needed you to understand something in case I'm not able to express myself properly.

I love you. I always have. I always will.

Please trust me when I say that I'm going to do everything possible to make this work. I know long distance is a beast, but in the grander scheme of things, a year and a half is nothing. We went through seven torturous years without speaking to each other and look at us now. I have faith. If anyone can do it, it's us.

And yes, that means I'm planning on living in the same city as you once we graduate, so start getting ready for it. In case you haven't noticed, you're kind of stuck with me now.

In the meantime, I will visit you every chance I get. I'm already picturing you in a nice little bikini for spring break. Your job is to pack one in the very near future. I'll take care of the rest.

Love Lucas

P.S. I really want to make love to you. Dying to, actually. So next time I see you, be prepared. It's happening.

Author's Note: Aw, isn't Lucas the bestest? Hopefully he'll come through on his promise!

The song of the chapter is "My Arms Were Always Around You" by Peter Bradley Adams.