We pull over at the first gas station. Neither of us has said anything since we left the cabin.

We both look at each other helplessly, as if deciding where we should go from here. My mind is consumed with doubt. Doubt that we shouldn't have done this. Doubt that it's never going to work. Doubt that I was a fool to believe that it could.

Lucas turns his head away from me and looks out the window. "Do you want anything from the store?" he asks hoarsely.

"No, thank you," I whisper.

"Give me a minute," he says, getting out of the car.

I watch him head towards the bathrooms through the rearview mirror, but instead of going inside, he begins pacing. He's upset, trying to calm down. I think he's unaware that I can see him. This becomes more evident when he picks up a stone off the ground and throws it towards an empty lot. He picks up a few others and throws those too. I start worrying he might do something more drastic after the fifth stone, but he gives up and walks towards a bench. He sits down and drops his head in his hands.

I get out of the car and go to him. I have no idea what to do or what to say to make this situation better. I just know that he shouldn't be facing this alone.

My hand on his shoulder startles him, but when he realizes it's me, he grabs onto it tightly. "I'm so sorry, Audi."

I take a seat next to him, trying to ignore how cold it is out here. "It's not your fault, Lucas. It's theirs. It's always been theirs."

He sighs. "I just never imagined this happening. I hate that I put you through that again."

"There was no way we could have known."

He shakes his head and looks up at me. His eyes look resigned, the way they appeared in high school whenever we crossed paths in the hallway before he would look away from me. "What do you want to do, Claudia?"

I look away from him and don't answer right away, even though I already know what I should do. It's the only thing left to do.

"I think I should go back to New York," I say quietly.

"I think so too," Lucas agrees.

I try to hide the sadness taking over me. "You can drop me off at the bus station. There's a bus that leaves at eleven."

"What? Audi, no. I'll take you."

My head whips back to look at Lucas. I want to tell him that it's fine, that it's inconvenient for him, but the words don't come out.

"You're crazy if you think I'm leaving you after that, Claudia. I'm not putting you on a freaking bus. We can drive to New York and talk about it once we get there."

I'm afraid to talk in case my voice breaks.

"C'mon," he says, grabbing my hand. "It's freezing. You shouldn't be out here."

I walk back in a daze to the car, still not believing he's willing to drive me back after what just happened.

"Okay then. NYC it is," he says. He sets up the directions on his phone once we're inside. His mood seems to have changed drastically since he first left the car. It makes me more hopeful. When he's done, he looks up and grins. "Have I told you how much I love seeing you in my cap?"

I laugh, but it sounds more like a sob since I've been trying to contain an array of emotions within the last fifteen minutes.

Lucas reaches over and consoles me with his kisses. "Shh, Audi. We've got this. I swear, I'm not losing you again. I won't allow it."

I wrap my arms around his neck and hug him with everything I have. I'm so impressed by him. By the way he handled our parents. His optimism. How he seems determined despite all the craziness around us. "Thank you, Lucas."

He kisses my cheek and starts the engine. Neither of us brings up what happened. I feel too emotional to talk about it right now. I'd much rather have a conversation about it face to face when he's not distracted by driving. I'm not sure of his reasons, but I'm glad he stays away from the subject too.

Instead we talk about college life, what classes we're taking, and how we usually spend our time. I tell him about my roommate Julia, talk about some of my friends, and what it's like to live in the East Village.

Once we're in the city, we stop for a pizza. As usual, it's packed and loud, but both of us are so hungry we don't care. Lucas leaves his car in a parking garage near my dorm afterwards, and he doesn't flinch at the daily rate. It's such a rip-off in Manhattan.

He carries our bags as if they weigh nothing. I sign him in once we arrive. It's quiet in the lobby, and surprisingly my floor doesn't have its usual weed smell. I take it the guys from 1104 aren't back from break yet.

I open the door to my apartment, and Lucas follows me inside. It's small with only a few steps to get to my room on the left. Julia's room is on the right. We were assigned together freshman year and have remained every year since. Now that we're juniors, we're lucky enough to get a dorm with separate rooms as opposed to sharing a room like we did in previous years. I never minded sharing a room, but now that Lucas is here, it's going to be nice to have the privacy.

Lucas settles our bags on the floor and then goes to sit down on my bed. It looks extra tiny with him sitting on it. I'm not sure how we're both going to fit on the twin-size bed with his large frame.

He looks around my room and smiles. "I like it. This feels more like you than your old room."

He signals for me to join him. I sit down next to him, and he wraps his arm around me. I lean against his chest and sigh contentedly as he kisses the top of my head. I can't believe he's in my dorm room with me. I never expected it to happen.

"Are you okay with me staying for a couple of nights?" Lucas asks.

"Of course. My roommate doesn't come back until Sunday, so we'll have the place to ourselves."

"Works for me."

"I'm just a bit worried about the bed size. I think if we spoon it might work."

"I'm all for spooning with you," he says with a grin. "You wanna test it out?"

He guides me towards the edge of the bed. We lie down on our sides against my pillows. He sneaks one arm underneath my neck, the other comes around my waist to hold me.

"Perfect fit," he says behind me.

I chuckle and turn on my back to look at him. "How crazy was today?"

"It was pretty crazy up there."

"At least we got some good pizza out of it."

He laughs. "I'm just glad you have your full appetite back."

"Do you think they've been having an affair this whole time?"

Lucas's expression changes. He tucks a lock of hair behind my ear. "I don't know, Audi. I'd like to think they haven't, but I wouldn't be surprised if they have."

"Do you think they're in love? I just don't understand why my parents are still together. It doesn't make sense."

Lucas sighs. "If they were truly in love, I don't think they would've handled the situation like they did since the beginning. It's never made much sense to me either, but I don't know. Seeing them still together now ... I guess it has to mean something."

Dread strikes through me. "What if they end up getting married?"

Lucas cringes. "God, I hope not. Hypothetically speaking, I think it would take a while for them to do so. Your parents would have to get divorced first, and that could take some time."

"But imagine if they do. You would technically be my stepbrother."

"Audi, I don't think it's worth going down that path right now. We're just speculating at this point. For all we know, they could break it off tomorrow—but you know what? Screw them. If it comes down to it, I'll marry you first, then they can be the freaking weirdos."

"Lucas!" I can't help but giggle. "That's crazy. You would want to get married just to throw a wrench in their plans?"

"Well, we are already engaged, in case you've forgotten. It would be more about accelerating the wedding date," he says with a big smile.

I playfully shove his shoulder back, unable to believe he's being serious about all this. He laughs and takes hold of my hand, placing it over his chest.

"That would be one heck of a wedding reception," I say. "Can you imagine how awkward it would be? Not to mention family reunions."

"We can always elope and skip family reunions," Lucas says.

"You seem to have it all figured out."

He shrugs. "I'm just done caring about what other people would think. I only care about you and what's best for us. Everyone else can go to hell."

I smile at his words as he lifts my hand up to his mouth and kisses my knuckles. It feels good to be with him like this. Not to have other people looming over us or dictating our decisions. It's liberating.

"Did you mean what you told your dad back in the cabin?"

I don't specify that I'm referring to the part where he dropped the L bomb, but he seems to know because he looks nervous. Maybe it was stupid of me to bring it up right now, but I've been ruminating ever since those three little words came out of his mouth.

Lucas clears his throat. "Yes, Audi. I'm just sorry you heard it like that. That's not how I imagined telling you."

I break out into a full smile. All jokes aside about being engaged and getting married, I was worried that it was something he had said in the heat of the moment.

"Well, you can always tell me again," I say coyly.

He cups my face and looks into my eyes. They hold no hesitation. "I love you, Claudia. I've loved you since we were kids. Now more than ever."

"I love you too, Lucas. Ever since you gave me my first packet of Skittles."

He leans in to kiss me, and just like that, it feels like we're right back where we left off.

Author's Note: Yay! I'm so proud of my babies! *insert all the fireworks*

Better yet, let's have Leo do the honors ;)

FYI there are two chapters left after this, plus a bonus scene in Lucas's POV!

The song of the chapter is "Want You Back" by HAIM.