Tay: Sorry Jess, can't do breakfast. Something came up.

Jess: Oh ok :( Dinner?

Tay: Sounds good

I blew on the hot coffee in my hands and looked across the table at Sarah. She was clearly pissed. Her arms folded over her chest and she couldn't stand to look at me.

"What'd she say?" She muttered, picking at her muffin that I know she won't eat.

I kept my eyes down, the disapproval on her face hurting my insides. "We are going to dinner instead."

"What are you going to do, Tayler?"

I covered my face with shaking fingers. "I think I should tell her. I feel so awful."

"You should feel awful, Tayler." She snipped. "I can't believe this. Honestly I would have never expected this from you of all people. How did you let yourself get into this?"

I held back tears as I relived it all. I told her it all, from the Ed Sheeran concert right up to the party last night and his blowing me off this morning. Sarah surprised me, reaching across the table and putting her hand on top of mine. I glanced up, but she still couldn't look at me.

"I'm sorry, Tayler. I am." She said after a minute. "I get that after everything you went through with Seth, and your brother, I understand you feeling drawn to him...but Jess is my friend too. I want to make you feel better, but I can't."

I nodded. "I know." I whispered. "Just tell me what to do."

Sarah slid her hand back into her lap. "She'll never get over it, you know that, right?" In my heart I did. "You know how Jessica is. When she locks in on something or someone, nobody can mess it up. First of all, she'll be completely crushed that her best friend went behind her back with the guy she is dating. You spent intimate time with him, and you were with him all those times she was upset at my house wondering why he was blowing her off." The thought of Jess being upset over him while I'm out laying under the stars at his side only made me feel worse.

"But shouldn't she know?" I tried, but Sarah shook her head.

"After she gets over the hurt, she's going to be so angry. She will never forgive you, and all of the things we love to go do as friends would be over. She would never be your friend anymore after this. You know that is the truth just as much as I do."

I leaned back in the leather booth, my shoulders slumping forward. "So what you're saying is you and Macy wouldn't be my friends anymore either?"

Sarah sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose to keep from furrowing her brows and causing wrinkles. "That's not true, but at the same time, we will both have to pick a side and we won't ever be able to all hang out together again. We'll be splitting time between you both."

As much as it hurt to know, she was telling the truth. Macy, Sarah, and Jessica have all been friends longer than I've been friends with any of them. If Jessica and I really did have a falling out, Macy and Sarah would be in the middle of it all. I could risk losing all of my few friends over a mistake I made with a guy who is only a friend.

That reminder of his disinterested face this morning only made me want to cry even more. I could have ruined my whole life because I let myself fall for a guy who will never look at me the way I look at him. I don't know how I got in so deep without realizing that I was giving Hunter parts of my heart that now I'll never get back. Everything about him draws you in, but I had really convinced myself that he was opening up to me too. My face burned when I thought of our drunken night last night. I would have given him everything, and then in the morning he still would have left me crying in my car.

"I seriously fucked up." My voice was hoarse and I took a sip of my now cold coffee.

Sarah finally looked at me, actual tears in her eyes. "Do you love him, Tayler?"

My immediate tears were the only answer she needed. She got up and came to sit beside me on my side of the booth, putting her arm around my shoulders and brushing back my hair. "It was so stupid." I whispered. "I don't even know when it happened."

"That's usually how it works." She shook her head. "How does he feel?"

"Not the same as me."

After coffee with Sarah I'd run by the house, my tail tucked between my legs, and I got ready for work. Luckily, Macy was out when I got there, so I didn't have to worry about her. I scrubbed my body in the shower, trying to get every trace of his touch, his smell, and my feelings away from me. I wish I had never gone to the stupid concert. The only good things to come from meeting Hunter had been that he got me out of my funk. I got a job and back in school, but now I'm in a new funk.

I've had my heart broken before, but somehow this felt different.

My every breath was heavy.

I got to work almost an hour early and got straight to doing my job before I'd even clocked in. Being wrapped up in the smell of books and coffee only helped a little. I kept my hands busy, but my head was another story all together.

"Tayler?"

I jumped when I heard the familiar guy's voice.

I spun around, dropping the books in my hands. "Shit." I muttered, getting a stern look from my boss up the aisle. I bent over to pick up the books and Aaron knelt down to help me.

"You work here?" He asked, brushing his hair that was getting a little longer away from his eyes.

"Obviously." I said pointing to my shirt. "I didn't know you even knew what a bookstore was."

He handed me the books I'd dropped and then shook his head. "You think just because I'm hot that I don't know about books?" He laughed.

I rolled my eyes as I past him. "I'm thinking it was more because you're the type of guy who tells other people that you're hot." I pointed out and he jogged to keep up with me.

"Well, you're wrong." He told me, grabbing a book at random from the shelf we passed. "I love books." He held up the book proudly.

I snorted a laugh into his face as I walked away again. "You know, you actually should buy that one."

He laughed too when he read the title in his hand. A Memoire on Modesty.

"Ok, so I'm not here for that, but it is good to see you." He smiled, walking in front of me backwards and nearly bumping into a display.

I nodded, adjusting his course so he didn't make a mess. "Why are you here?"

He narrowed his eyes. "What's wrong?" He asked, putting on the brakes and standing in my way. "You're being weird."

I shook my head, avoiding the look he was giving me but I could feel it on the side of my face, like he knew what had happened. "Nothing."

"Ok..." He said awkwardly and I tried to smile. "You coming to Hunt's party tonight?" He asked, trying to change the subject. The fake smile was gone just like that. "Ohhhh....."

"What?" I snapped.

"Something happen with y'all?"

"No." I mumbled, pushing by him again. "I just need to get back to work."

"Right, me too." He shrugged.

As he started to walk away I turned back to him. "Hey, Aaron?"

"Yeah?"

I shrugged my shoulders. "If you didn't come here for a book, then why'd you come?"

He smiled holding up his hands. "The new issue of Sports Illustrated." He shrugged.

"Of course." I nodded, a smile creeping in.

"See ya." He called, heading back up to the front of the store.

I went through the rest of my shift mechanically.

I stocked the new books, straightened the shelves, alphabetized the magazines, and bussed the tables in the café, all without letting my mind drift anymore. But once I was back home, getting ready to go to dinner with Jessica, I couldn't help it.

Hunter and his eyes kept creeping back into my consciousness.

I looked up into the mirror, my eyes looking a little puffy from my few crying spirts today. I used double concealer to cover it up. The last thing I want to do is explain to Jess why I'd been crying or make up another lie to cover it up.

My phone buzzed, letting me off the hook entirely.

Jess: Raincheck on dinner. Last minute plans, sorry babe!

I wanted to reply that it was fine, but my eyes were blurry again.

Last minute plans.

Aaron mentioned Hunter was having a party tonight.

I scanned through my messages just for added torture, but there was no message from Hunter. He'd said he'd text me later, but he never had. And now he is throwing a party tonight, like nothing had happened, and he didn't bother to invite me. Instead, he invited Jessica.