~ Edited ~

*Charlotte's POV*

I had long since broken my promise to myself. It's been three weeks since I found out about Louis and Eleanor. Three weeks spent in sleepless nights and hoping. Hoping for what? I wish I knew. Contact with the boys was kept at a minimum, mainly because I needed some time. My feelings for Louis grew stronger day by day, making my heart ache even worse. Niall checked up often to see how I was doing, of course, because he knew the truth. My friendship with Danielle hadn't been fazed. She kept my mind off of Louis, whether it was a day spent watching T.V., or just shopping.

I was distraught. My problems seemed so trifle compared to those of others, so I couldn't help but feel angry at myself. I was so weak--fragile, I had allowed my heart to be ripped out of my chest and burned right before my eyes. It wasn't the reality that Louis had a girlfriend that bothered me as much as knowing how it impacted me.

I hadn't been taking good care of myself. My hair remained a bird's nest and I never bothered to cover up the bags that appeared underneath my dull eyes. Of course, my parents didn't seem to notice at all. They were too busy, in their own worlds.

I turned down the breakfast aisle, keeping my face low and hair strewn out of fear of being recognized. My shoes were wet from where I had stepped on a puddle outside, therefore squeaking every time I took a step. The day had not been good to me. I spotted the white box of my favorite cereal at the very end of the aisle, on the highest shelf.

Just my luck.

I grunted, annoyed, and jumped, hoping I would at least knock it over with my hand. My efforts rendered useless as the whole rack of cereal boxes fell, burying me underneath them.

A sigh of frustration escaped my mouth and I rubbed my aching head. I should have just stayed home. After remaining cooped up in my house for several days, the idea of getting some fresh air seemed like a good one, but considering the situation I was in right now, I regretted even stepping foot out of the comfort of my own home. A lady that was shopping nearby made a sound of disgust before leading her laughing child away. Defeated, I fell back to the ground and sat in the pile of cardboard boxes. After the month I had, this was the last thing I needed. 

"Miss? Are you alr--" 

The concerned and familiar thick Bradford-accented voice had come from my left, and stopped short when I lifted my head. My jaw fell in shock when my eyes landed on who had spoken. Zayn. Clad in his leather jacket and stiff hair, he took two long strides over to where I was wallowing.

 "Charlotte?" Amused laughter flowed out of Zayn's mouth as he peered down at the mess before him. He brought his hand up to his chin, rubbing the small stubble that had grown.

"No," I deadpanned, my voice dripping with sarcasm, "It's Casper, the friendly ghost." I hadn't meant to sound insolent, but the emotions I had tried so hard to erase from my memory just came flooding right back at the sight of Zayn, who laughed at my misery.

"Well, you certainly look like a ghost." He remarked. It was something that I admired about Zayn. The way he wouldn't sugar coat things. From him, you knew that you would get the truth and as blunt as it may be, it was rather comforting.

"Well? Are you gonna help, or not?" I didn't meet his eyes, afraid that he would be able to dig out the sorrow buried deep within them. The last thing I wanted was for him to ask for an explanation.

"Nope. I'd rather sit here and join you in your misery," Zayn sat down cross-egged on the cold floor next to me. As if I wasn't annoyed already, he decided that very moment was the perfect time to start whistling an obnoxious tune.

"What do you want?" I asked, exasperated. I ran my hands down my, according to Zayn, ghostly face, finally mustering up the courage to meet his eyes. They were dark, searching mine for the answers I knew he wanted. 

"What do I want? Charlotte, you can't just disappear off of the face of the Earth like that and then ask me what it is that I want. It doesn't work that way." His thick accent was full of both annoyance and a tone that made me feel better than I had in a long time. Concern. 

I sighed, my head falling into my hands. I had been so docile with the one person I knew would understand me the best. Just how many things was I planning on screwing up?

"Look Zayn, I appreciate the fact that you care, but I can't bring myself to tell you why I've been this way." I knew Zayn wouldn't pry, which is why I felt bad for taking advantage of the very fact. I began gathering the cereal boxes that were surrounding me, my fidgeting hands just wanting something to keep them busy.

"And you don't have to, not until you feel comfortable. Just know that you have people that care now. Don't keep pushing them away, because it's only going to hurt you more." Zayn stood up and stacked the boxes on the shelf that I was far too short to reach. I handed him a box, and he set it on the shelf, creating a system. 

I was pushing them away. By isolating myself, I thought it would give me time to rid myself of the feelings for Louis, but Zayn was right. Having to ignore the guys' phone calls and invitations to go out only doubled the pain I felt. I couldn't bring myself to admit to him that I was scared.  Life had led me to find people who cared for me, not for my money, my fame, but for me. After finding out about Eleanor, I felt like I had lost one of those few people. I knew Louis and I would always remain friends, but according to the vacant feeling burning a hole into my heart just at the thought of it, friends would never be enough. 

Zayn and I cleaned up the rest of the mess in silence. 

"Let's go, I want you to meet someone." He tugged on my sleeve and dragged me across the store. He didn't bother to put hid hood up or walk with his head bowed down. Zayn obviously wasn't too worried about getting recognized. 

I cooperated and allowed him to lug me to the front of the store. He awaited me while I purchased my groceries, then helped me carry them out where we finally stopped to take a breath. 

To say that Zayn was excited was an understatement. His eyes were wide, the glint of happiness within them not fading as they wandered the parking lot, a smile conquering his lips when they found what they were hunting for. 

I followed his gaze to see a girl, her bright purple hair being the first thing I noticed. In most cases, that hair color would bother me. I just never understood the concept of dying your hair some wacky color, but I had to admit that she pulled it off well. Zayn led me over to where she was standing, leaning against a sleek black car. He didn't waste a second before enveloping her small hand in his larger one and throwing his other arm around her shoulder.

"Perrie, this is Charlotte. Charlotte, this is Perrie, my girlfriend."

At the mention of the word "girlfriend," Perrie's cheeks flushed a light pink. Ever since Zayn told me about Perrie, I had been begging him to let me meet her. But I never thought our first encounter would be while I held a striking resemblance to a zombie.

"So you're the infamous Charlotte! I've been really eager to meet you." Perrie used her unoccupied hand to shake mine.

"Same goes for you! I'm sorry it had to be like this, though..."

Ashamed, I peered down at my oversized t-shirt and ran my fingers through the tangled mess I was forced to call my hair, as if that would magically fix it. Perrie waved my apology off.

"You have no reason to apologize, trust me. Are you heading home from here?" She asked, her lower lip caught between her teeth in thought. I nodded hesitantly. Zayn was just as confused as I was, judging from the way he shot Perrie a questioning look.

 "You know Charlotte, if you're not doing anything, you can come hang out with us." Perrie smiled, hope oozing through her voice. I wanted to say no, to tell her that I just couldn't, but what kind of a person would that make me? And by the pleased look on Zayn's face, he agreed with his girlfriend.

Maybe it hadn't been that long. Two months isn't long, right? Would the guys question my unexplained disappearance? Or just be happy to have me back? I bit into my cheek, taking one look at the couple's hopeful faces, and shrugged.

"I guess it couldn't hurt."

***

It felt strange, entering the hallway again.

I thought back to the first time I had stepped foot into the very same building. I was the lonely girl hoping to make new friends. Liam had opened the door to find a nervous wreck standing before him, a girl that couldn't remember the last time she was so afraid of being judged.

And tonight, that girl was making a reappearance.

For some reason, it felt as if it was my first time meeting the guys. As Zayn and Perrie led me down towards the end of the elegant hallway, the only thoughts coming to mind were negative ones. What if they were mad at me? Even though I knew that they wouldn't be, I couldn't help but allow the deranged possibility to swallow me whole. Zayn rang the doorbell, making matters worse when he pushed me in front of him and his girlfriend. I tried to cower behind the couple, but soon enough, the door knob twisted and the door swung open, revealing Harry.

I don't know what I had expected. Maybe a new hairstyle? A new tattoo? Piercing? Anything but the same exact harry that had walked me to my car a month ago. But that's exactly what I got.

"Zayn, what took you guys so lon--" he stopped mid-sentence when he spotted me standing in the doorway instead of Zayn, whom he was expecting. I picked at the rough fabric of my jeans, afraid to meet his eyes. Zayn and Perrie had been kind enough to make a stop at my house, where I showered and changed into an outfit that didn't make me look like a hobo. 

But now, I was wishing they had just left me there.

Silence encompassed us as a speechless Harry ushered the three of us in and kicked the door shut behind him. His wide emerald eyes didn't once leave mine.

Finally, Harry blinked. "Charlotte?"

"Yeah?" I smiled weakly. The shock on his features was a bit unsettling, but the wide grin that had accompanied it made me feel better in a matter of seconds.

It seemed that my response had finally helped reality sink in. In two big strides, Harry enveloped me into a hug. I buried my head into his shoulder, the soft fabric of his jacket tickling my nose. I hadn't realized just how much I had missed Harry until then.

 "Where have you been?" He asked once he pulled away. He looked hurt and I was the only one to blame. His lips were curved downward, a crease of sorrow forming in his forehead.

I had answered all of his texts with simple, one-word answers, never providing him with a thorough, reasonable explanation. And Harry was the last person who deserved to be treated that way.

My eyes flickered to the carpet and back up to meet his. "I've been busy, I'm sorry." 

When did I become such a good liar?

"Hey, it's alright." He noticed my distress and tilted my chin upwards with a brush of his hand. "You're here now."

 Harry made it seem like I had never left. We sat and caught up while Zayn and Perrie went out for a walk. He didn't question me again about my disappearance, his kind attitude being one I believed that I didn't deserve.

Not much later, Niall joined the reunion.

He was just as shocked as Harry when he saw me. Niall had crushed me into hug the second I waved to him, ruffling my hair as his usual greeting.

"You alright?" Niall had asked when he pulled away, his words holding meaning deeper than Harry would have understood.

 "Thanks Niall." I had responded with a nod. And this time, I wasn't lying. I actually was okay. Just seeing two of my closest friends made me feel so much better. Daylight soon became an extinguishing sunset as the hours we spent together flew unknowingly out the window. But when Harry got a call from Liam saying that him and Louis were almost at the flat, all of the laughter and jokes faded away. Liam was arriving with the one person I wish I could avoid at all costs, but also the person I had missed most.

 I excused myself to the bathroom a few minutes after that, not being able to handle the thought of facing louis once again.

I held the sides of the porcelain sink to steady myself, my frustrated mind begging me to pull out a cigarette. Ever since I found out about Louis' relationship, the nicotine's clutch on my life had been stronger than ever. I regretted every cigarette, but only after I was finished smoking it. What good did that do?

With a sigh, I put my palms on either side of my head and slid down the closed door. It wasn't like I could avoid Louis forever, so why couldn't I just bring myself to speak to him?

*Louis' POV*

The car lurched to an unsteady stop in front of the building, but instead of opening the door to get out, I fell back into my seat. Liam was leaned forward in his seat next to me, talking excitedly about something that I had long since stopped paying attention to. My mind had become a cluttered mess and it was hard to focus on anything anymore.

"Louis, what the hell is going on?" Liam stopped telling his story when he saw I wasn't listening. "I want to know what's been bothering you, Louis. Harry, Zayn, Niall-- we all want to know." His eyes were narrowed, pleading silently.

"It's not something I can just easily say, Liam." I sighed and squeezed my eyes shut. I would had loved to explain to him what was going on. But how could I, when it was hard to even explain to myself?

Liam arched his eyebrows, urging me to continue. I knew I couldn't keep anything from him for long and was even more sure of the fact that he'd try to help me out of the situation.

 "Have you ever felt different around a girl?" I blurted. I watched liam's face go from curious to confused.

"What do you mean? Like, good different? I feel like that around Danielle all the time..."

"That's how I feel around Eleanor. But there's this other girl. I feel so different around her. Not how I feel around Eleanor or any of my other friends. Better." 

I couldn't begin to describe it. Whenever I would talk to her, see her, even think about her, my clammy palms would want to fly to my pounding heart in hopes to slow it down. The feeling was alien, but better than any I had ever experienced.

"Will you just say what's on your mind?" Liam knew I was beating around the bushes. His face softened and he urged me to speak.

Averting my eyes, I took a deep breath. "It's Charlotte. I almost kissed her at the harbor a few weeks ago."

Liam visibly tensed in his seat, but didn't utter a word. I kept my eyes on my knuckles, which were whitening as my grasp on the steering wheel tightened.

 "It was a spur of the moment type of thing. Dammit Liam, I wasn't thinking straight." I rubbed my tired eyes. I couldn't remember the last time I got a good night's sleep.

"I think it's because it had been so long since I saw El. Maybe I just missed the feeling of having my girlfriend around?" It came out as more of a question rather than a statement.

 Even I knew that my excuse was pathetic. What Eleanor and I had was great, don't get me wrong. I loved her with all my heart, but the thing was, the way I felt around Charlotte was a feeling that I was not accustomed to. I noticed things about her that I never seemed to pay close attention to when it came to anyone else. The way her nose scrunches when she's irritated, or the dimples that appear in her cheeks when her mouth widens into a smile--the very smile that had dominated my thoughts.

I hadn't seen Charlotte for the past couple of weeks. After the day she met Eleanor, she just kinda disappeared. She wouldn't answer any of our texts and phone calls properly, so it was fair to say that I missed her.

Liam shook his head, "I don't know man." He scratched the back of his head. "Did you want to? You know, kiss her?" 

Did I? It was a question I knew the answer to but the answer was not one I wanted to admit.

With a slight nod of the head, I groaned. "I don't know what's going on. I'm trying to understand Liam, but I just can't." And if I couldn't understand, how could I expect Liam to? Danielle was his world and I'm not implying that Eleanor isn't mine, but our relationships weren't alike.

"Look, Lou." He sighed and looked at me with sympathy. "Whatever this is, whatever 's going on, I want you to make a choice right now. Eleanor or Charlotte? You need to figure this out before you hurt anyone. Including yourself."

I knew that he was right. I needed to hear it from someone else, to realize that I wasn't being good to my girlfriend. I could easily pass it off as over analyzing my feelings, but it felt like whatever this was was bigger than that.

Everytime I would think of Charlotte as more than just a friend, guilt contorted with uncertainty would cloud my mind. Eleanor was my girlfriend, but that word didn't seem like one of much magnitude whenever I thought of Charlotte. I needed to listen to Liam.

These "feelings" for Charlotte could be something entirely different, something that just confused me. Eleanor and I had been dating for two years now, and things were pretty serious. Charlotte? Charlotte and I were just good friends.  

"Eleanor. It's always been Eleanor." I smiled at Liam and he patted me on the back, before stepping out of the car.

I didn't follow him. Instead, I drowned in the reality that I had possibly just lied to Liam. And myself.

*Charlotte's POV*

To: Dani

"I'm scared, danielle.. hiding in the bathroom right now. HELP?!"

I quickly sent the message and put my alert ear to the door, listening intently for any sign of Louis. I cursed under my breath when the loud sound of banter made its way into the flat. That could only mean one thing. He had arrived.

My phone vibrated in my trembling hands.

 From: Dani

"Charlotte, you need to get your butt out there and talk to that boy. You're not going to ruin your friendship with him, not like this."

I hated the fact that she was always right. I couldn't avoid him forever, even though I was pretty content with the very idea.

My fingers shaking, I wrapped them around the cold metal of the doorknob. I counted to three before twisting it and swinging the door wide open.

 I nearly screamed when I saw Niall with his fist raised, about to knock on the door-- or in this case, about to knock on my face.

I brought a hand over my hammering heart. "Niall, you scared me!"

Niall smiled and responded, "Sorry." He didn't look sorry at all. Humored was the more appropriate word.

 "No you're not." I stated. 

He laughed, then looked to his left and back at me. "Listen, I was going to tell you that Zayn, Liam, Harry and I are going to get the girls."

I raised my eyebrow, confused. The girls?

 Niall shook his head slowly. "You're slow, Charlotte."

When he saw my expression was still blank, he continued.

"Danielle, Perrie..."

"Eleanor? Can't you just leave her wherever she is?" I completed in a dull voice. I felt like a child wanting to throw a tantrum. As much as I didn't want to see Louis, Eleanor was definitely at the top of my "People to Avoid" list.

"Stop being such a child, now let's go," Niall tugged on my arm and dragged me involuntarily out the bathroom. I anchored my feet into the carpet, my hand glued to the sink in terror.

"Wait a second Niall..."

It then hit me that he had mentioned everyone's name except Louis'. He was planning on leaving the two of us alone, wasn't he?

 From the way Niall rolled his eyes and let out a huff, I realized he knew exactly what I was going to ask of him.  "You two need to talk." Niall took my arm and tried to pull me into the living room.

"Talk? Uh, no thanks!" I dug my heels into the carpet, resisting his strength. But of course, he was stronger than I was and kept pulling on my arm. If I wasn't incredibly annoyed, I would have laughed at the scenario. If anyone had seen us, it would look to them like we were brother and sister, arguing over something. And clearly, the brother was winning. I tugged back on his arm and he stopped, giving me a stern look.

"I mean, can't you just stay here with us?!" I practically begged. He shook his head and turned around to start the tug of war with my arm again. We were a few feet from the living room and I looked down at his arm, not really thinking before I bent down and bit down, hard.

"Ow, shit, Charlotte did you just bite me?!" He pulled his arm away and held it to his chest. His face looked pained, but soon the expression changed to a mix of both astonishment and something I didn't expect to see. He looked... almost proud. I crossed my arms over my chest and began laughing. That's what he deserved for dragging me out against my will. Niall looked down at his arm and then back at me. Soon enough, Niall's loud laughter accompanied mine, ringing throughout the house. I don't know why it seemed so humorous to us, but we kept laughing.

Eventually, we were interrupted by someone clearing their throat. There stood Louis, biting his bottom lip, his eyebrow raised. But once his eyes met mine, they transitioned from amused to shocked.

 "Char?" He tilted his head.

My laughter abruptly died down and I composed myself before hopping up.

 "Hi Louis." I tried to replenish my oddly quiet voice by clearing my throat.

"Hey, long time no see, huh?" He rocked back and forth on his heels, his hand resting on the nape of his neck. At a loss for words, I decided nodding was my best response.

 We stood next to each other in silence, staring at Niall, whose laughter had finally come to and end. I shot him a pleading look, hoping that he could change his mind and stay with us. Niall ignored me and stumbled his way to the door.

"They're probably waiting for me downstairs, so see you guys!" With those words and not a single glance my way, he closed the door behind him, leaving me stranded with Louis. 

 Once again, I begged myself not to be awkward. I had to act like I hadn't fallen head over heels for Louis Tomlinson, and that task would soon prove to be a hard one.

"I bit his arm." I shrugged, finally answering Louis' unasked question.

 He laughed and shook his head. "I won't ask why." Louis flopped down on the couch and grabbed the T.V. remote. Obviously, he hadn't noticed how my thumbs wouldn't stop twiddling and how my foot tapped constantly in uneasiness. I had never felt uncomfortable around Louis until then and I wasn't very fond of the feeling.

 "There's nothing on..." He whined after few minutes of flipping through channels.

I pretended like I hadn't heard him, my thoughtful gaze glued to the balcony window. The skies were usually clear for this time of year. It was better to be outside rather than stay cooped up in the flat, right?

"Why don't we go for a walk?" I asked before I could stop myself. Looking like he had put little to no thought into this decision, Louis nodded in agreement.

"Sure, why not?"

We grabbed our coats and slipped on our shoes before exiting the flat. The walk to the elevator was in silence on my part.

 "Can we take the stairs instead?" I blurted just before he stepped into the moving death machine. My voice was a mere squeak. Louis shrugged, just before his eyes widened with realization.

"Are you scared of elevators?" Louis asked, stepping into the staircase behind me. The dimly painted walls ricocheted his sweet voice back to my ears, creating the faintest of echoes.

I shrugged and glanced at back him, avoiding his questioning gaze.

 "I don't like them." I knew it was a silly phobia, but I never really trusted elevators, not since I was little. In attempt to get Louis to drop the subject, I stuck my tongue out childishly before yelling, "Last one down has to buy ice cream!"

By the time Louis comprehended my outburst, I was already down the first set of stairs. Louis jumped down the last three stairs behind me and I panicked when I saw that he was catching up quickly. I trotted down the last set and prepared myself for victory when Louis' arms wrapped around my waist and set me back at the top of the stairs. He smiled cheekily before finishing the race. 

"Cheater!" I yelled, walking the rest of the way to meet up with him. It was light moments like these when I didn't have to worry about being nervous or being sorrowful. It was impossible to stay that way forever around him.

Louis shrugged and held the door open for me. "Next time, set the rules Char." He winked, resulting in my roll of eyes. The usual crowd of fans was out front, so Louis and I could leave the property through the back exit without getting mobbed. The plan was originally just to go for a walk, but instead, we headed towards Louis' car. I reached for the handle of the driver's side, but a hand stopped me short.

"You got to drive last time!" I pointed out in response to his rejection. Louis didn't budge from his spot, so I sulked to the passenger's side in defeat.

"I drive on the way back." I slammed the door shut, earning a disapproving glare. Shrugging, I toyed with the knobs on the radio. If there was anything I hated more than elevators, it was awkward car rides.

Five minutes into the car ride, my ring tone blared from my bag. I rummaged through the sack, my fingers crossed that it wasn't my mother. I was only slightly relieved when I saw Rodney's contact flash across the screen.

"Hello." I greeted blandly. Louis snickered at the tone of my voice. I had a feeling he knew exactly who was on the other side of the line.

I heard some shuffling through the speaker before Rodney spoke.

"Why do you sound so bored, Charlotte? Tell you what. Meet me at the bakery downtown. I'll be sure to lighten your mood."

I scoffed. "How about...no. I'm busy right now anyway, so maybe we can reschedule." I fully intended on never rescheduling, and Rodney probably caught that. 

  Louis was whispering something to me and I looked to see he was reaching out for the phone.

 "Charlotte, lemme talk." He held his his hand out. The volume on my cell phone was pretty loud, meaning Louis could hear our conversation clearly.

I shook my head at his request. There was no way that was happening.

"Are you with those One Direction pricks again? What losers. Especially that Louis guy..." Rodney's irritating voice blared through the speakers.

I switched the phone from my left hand to my right and didn't bother to hold anything back. I was always defensive about the people I cared about.

 "You know what Rodney? You can go to hell. Those guys will be a million times better than you could ever dream of being. And if you think differently, you can go suck your own--" The line went dead before I could finish.

 "Dammit, the last part was gonna be the best." I groaned and turned to Louis.

 He was enduring fits of laughter, struggling to keep his focus on the road. 

"That was brilliant," He managed to say. I laughed along, feeling a little embarrassed for lashing out like that right in front of Louis.

 "But I still think you should've let me talk to him..." Louis added. I had to admit that the idea of making Rodney talk to Louis seemed pretty entertaining.

"If you want to talk to him so badly, we could go to the bakery." Now, it's important to know that I was just being sarcastic. In no way was I actually suggesting the idea of going to see Rodney. 

When I didn't hear anything from Louis, I looked to my left and saw a cheesy smile spread across his face.

"Let's go." He made a sharp-- and most likely illegal-- u-turn.

 "Louis! I was just kidding, we are not going down there!" I was tempted to push him out of the car at that point, but I decided that'd be a bad one for the headlines. "Billionaires' Diva Daughter Pushes Superstar Louis Tomlinson Out of Moving Car!" I turned back to a laughing Louis.

"Relax Char. From what I've head, Rodney thinks very fondly of me."

 I sensed the hint of sarcasm in his tone and knew his stubborn nature would prevent him from listening to me.

"Besides, the ice cream shop next to the bakery is killer." He winked and no matter how hard I tried to stay stern with him, Louis managed to get himself off the hook. I diverted my attention to the window when a smile creeper onto my lips. Louis would be the death of me.

***

"Shh, I see him." Louis spoke from where we were standing, behind the doors of the bakery. He brought his hands up and adjusted his baseball cap and sunglasses. We decided we didn't want to get noticed by anyone while we were there because Rodney would inevitably notice us, also.

"What are we gonna do?" I asked for the thousandth time. He had obviously devised some evil plan and dragged me to the bakery, with no thought of actually informing me of the plan first.

 Louis smirked and pulled a tiny bottle out of his pocket. It was a small vial that held little grains of a red substance.

 "What's that?" And why do you carry it in your pocket? I was tempted to ask.

"This baby right here is the Trinidad Moruga Scorpian." He announced loudly, making me slap him upside the head. This boy was bound to get us caught.

I arched an eyebrow. "English, please?"

Louis chuckled and looked back down at the small bottle."One of the hottest peppers in the world."

My eyes wide, I snatched it out of his hands. "Louis, how the hell did you get a hold of this?!" 

He shrugged and took the bottle back. "Let's just say there's a lot of pranking that goes on with the boys. I kept it in my car from the last time."

"Pranking?! Can't that like, kill him..." I was astonished, struggling to keep my volume low. My eyes were glued to the deadly spice in Louis' hands.

"Jeez Char, I wouldn't give him enough to kill him! Well, I'd be tempted..." He joked, but when he saw my alarmed expression, became serious again -- well, as serious as Louis could get.

 "Just a pinch should suffice." Louis walked to the counter where Rodney had just given his order. I followed and stood next to him as we waited. I didn't know what the plan was, but by the way that Louis was taking lead in the mission, I had a feeling he knew exactly what he was doing.

The only worker at the front of the store was a seemingly middle aged woman. Her lips were pulled downward into a permanent scowl as she pulled out a fresh loaf of Italian bread from of the oven. She it on a tray and headed towards Rodney's table, not catching sight of us.

 She was stopped in her tracks when a grinning Louis appeared in front of her. I suppressed a laugh when I saw his fingers crossed behind his back. What exactly was he planning to do?

Shooting the woman a friendly smile, Louis eyed Rodney's table. "That's my friend, I'm supposed to be meeting him here. I can take it to him!" He offered in a sugary, persuasive voice. He reached out to take the tray, but the skeptical waitress pulled it back.

She pursed her lips into a thin line, her narrowed eyes scanning Louis from head to toe. The fact that he had his face hidden only made the situation seem more suspicious. What was he thinking?! She wasn't just going to hand him the tray! My eyes darted frantically around the room, looking for some sort of distraction when finally they landed on a service bell on the front counter.

 I hopped out from where I was hiding behind the wall and rang the bell repeatedly, making both Louis and the waitress look my way. Thankfully, Rodney remained clueless as to what was going on and made no effort to find out. I rang the bell again, almost knocking it off the table and the stunned waitress handed Louis the tray before shooting me a glare. When she had finally turned around, Louis gave me a thumbs up.

I was about to follow him to Rodney's table, but realized I still had to deal with the waitress. 

"How can I help you?" She spat, clearly annoyed at the disturbance I had caused. I glanced at Louis, who was waiting for me just a few feet away from Rodney's table. 

"Um, can I have a eight-pack box of assorted pastries?" I asked smoothly after my eyes landed on the specialty item at top of the menu, knowing it'd take her some time to prepare the pastries. The waitress, without saying a word, threw her towel down and disappeared into the kitchen. I took this as the perfect opportunity to join Louis. He commended me on my quick thinking.

"May I do the honor?" I asked in a deep, yet quiet voice. Louis discretely handed me the bottle and I sprinkled the tiniest amount inside the bread. I felt so childish, and the feeling only grew when Louis smiled mischievously. I followed him to the other end of the shop.

"Here you go, Sir. Enjoy your meal." He spoke in an American accent, which was actually quite impressive. Louis' disguise kept him from being recognized and he placed the tray on the table.  He turned around before Rodney could get a good look at his face. Louis tip-toed to where I was standing and placed a finger on his lips, warning me to stay quiet.

"Now watch." He led us back to our previous hiding spot. Rodney absentmindedly took a bite out of his bread, his mind divulged into the blackberry in his hand. We watched in anticipation as he swallowed the food. He picked the bread up to take another bite, but dropped it as soon as the spicy flavoring hit him. I bit my lip in an attempt not to laugh, but a little giggle escaped my lips. Louis placed his hand over my mouth to make sure it wouldn't happen again. I shot him an apologetic look and returned my attention to the scene before us.

  Rodney jumped out of his booth and began pacing, the blackberry slipping out of his hands. I had a feeling that the cell phone was the least of his worries. His ears and cheeks were flaming red as he spun around like a lunatic, resembling an animal chasing its tail. He snatched the flower vase from the table beside his and gulped it down, not bothering to remove the flowers.

Louis' cheeks were filled with air, but a chuckle left his mouth. I smacked my hand over his mouth, just as he had done to me, muffling his laughter. To anyone watching, it probably looked really odd. Both of us were struggling not to laugh, with our hands over each other's mouths. 

Rodney tripped over his own feet several times on his way out of the shop. Louis and I let our hands collapse, allowing the laughter to flow through our mouths.

"Oh my goodness..." I could barely breathe as I crumbled to the ground. I leaned against the cement wall and Louis soon joined me. Somewhere between the laughter and jokes, my head had found a spot on Louis' shoulder. At the moment, I didn't think about what I was doing. All thoughts of Eleanor fled my mind. The tension I felt between Louis and I had faded within seconds. Louis' shoulders shook with soft laughter, rocking my head along with them.

And in that second, I didn't think about the pain I endured for so long. I forgot about the sorrow--the heartbreak. I was with Louis. Louis was happy. And that's when I discovered something that I should have much too long ago:

Nothing else mattered.

 "That, by far, is the best thing I have ever seen." I broke the lingering silence, my head still buried into his shoulder. Louis didn't seem to notice how we were sat and at the moment, neither did I.

"Well, after my amazing pranking skills, right?" He winked.

Sure, I thought. After your smile. After your eyes. After your joy. After the countless beautiful things about you, this was just another on the list.

I lifted my head and placed a consoling hand on his shoulder. "Whatever helps ya sleep at night, Lou."

"Now how about that ice cream?" He stood up dusted his hands off on his pants before offering me his hand. Now you see, one of the things I had inherited from my mother was uncontrollable blushing. Believe it or not, making strict, controlling Rita McVerry blush was a mission that was far too easy.  And at times like these, I never wanted anything more than to get rid of the curse.

 I nodded, tucking my rowdy hair behind my ear, and slipped my hand into his. He pulled me up and out of the bakery we went. We were careful not to be seen by the waitress, who exited the kitchen with my order in hand.

As we turned the curb that led to the parlor, I looked down to see my hand was still in Louis'. I could feel my heart race pick up with every second he didn't realize that his fingers had begun to intertwine with mine. I cleared my throat and pulled away abruptly, tucking my hands into my pockets. My cheeks were probably burning seven different shades of red.

"Sorry, I-- I didn't realize.." Louis started, rubbing the back of his neck nervously.

I shook my head and crossed my arms over my chest. "Don't worry about it.

It felt so right, having my hand in his. Something about it felt natural, but I was one hundred and one percent sure that I was the only one out of the two of us to even have that thought cross my mind.

***

"I'll have two scoops of mint chocolate chip please." I watched the worker place the frozen green scoops onto a waffle cone. Louis had already ordered his chocolate ice cream and was waiting next to me. The lady behind the counter handed me the cone and I thanked her. She told us the price and I reached into my purse for the money. Louis was quicker though, he was already handing her the money when I looked up. 

I groaned."You have got to stop doing that." I slid into an empty booth and Louis sat across from me. 

He rolled his eyes, shaking his head. "I don't think so."

 We talked for a bit about the world tour the boys had coming up in a few months. I wondered what I'd do in those months. I couldn't remember what my life even was before I met them, and the thought of not seeing them for half a year was frightening.

 After a few more minutes of laughing and small talk, Louis cleared his throat and set his intertwined hands on the table. The whole time we had been there, it seemed like Louis was itching to say something, but kept hesitating.

"Listen Char, I've been wanting to talk to you about something."

I tilted my head to the right curiously and brought a spoonful of ice cream to my lips. "What's up, Lou?"

"It's about Eleanor and I."

My heart dropped and I didn't trust myself to speak, so I allowed Louis to continue. Out of all things we could possibly talk about, he had to bring up Eleanor.

"You met her, right? What do you think of her, Char? I feel like your opinion's important. I trust you." 

And just like that, I regretted coming back with Zayn and Perrie. I regretted even going to the supermarket where I bumped into them. I regretted my idea of going for a walk.

I wanted to tell him that she was no good. That she wasn't the right person for him, but what made me think I was? And I didn't know a thing about Eleanor to even think of saying that.

I realized Louis was waiting for an answer and plastered a smile across my lips.

I wish I was her. "She's wonderful."

Okay, I admit that that was pretty lame. Deciding he probably wanted a more elaborate answer, I cleared my throat.

"I mean, you guys-- you're just perfect for each other." 

Louis' smile grew, but there was a hint of another emotion in his alluring eyes. For a reason that remained unknown, I felt like he wanted me to say something else. But even I knew the thought was ridiculous.

I watched Louis trace the wooden designs that were engraved into the table with his finger. He brushed his hand across his forehead, pushing aside his hair. I watched him play with the watch wrapped around his wrist, when finally, he broke the silence.

"Great. Because I... I want to propose to her." 

It was then that I realized just how strong words could be. Eight of them was all it took to rip my heart out of my chest, leaving it vacant-- incomplete. The way my heart skipped a beat was a feeling that had I gotten around Louis uncountable times before. But this time was different. This time, it wasn't accompanied by the usual butterflies erupting in my stomach or my cheeks burning into a prominent blush. This time, I felt heartbroken. This time, I had an unknown feeling, something that made my hands tremble and caused abrupt tears to brim my eyes. This time, it wasn't excitement. It was pain.

He wanted to propose. To Eleanor.

And I could do nothing but sit and watch it happen.

Louis was still anticipating an answer, something that I could never give him truthfully.

"Louis, you guys are great and all, but aren't you a little young? I mean the band, you've got your whole career ahead of you." That part was true. Him getting married would mean a completely different future for the band. I tried to convince myself that I wasn't just trying to think up reasons for him not to propose, but that was far from the truth.

"I could propose to her and the engagement ceremony could be a few months later. And then I want marry her when I feel like the time's right for the band. And us."

 I sat there, hands fiddling nervously in my lap, feeling at loss of words. I couldn't tell him that I wanted it to be me in Eleanor's shoes. Regardless of how stupid or impulsive or reckless it sounded considering it hadn't even been four months since I met Louis, I wanted to be the one that he was talking about getting married to.

"I just... I love her, Char. I've been in love with her for over two years now and I feel like I want her in my life forever." Louis added. I blinked the tears away and gulped inaudibly, trying to recompose myself.  Why was I so stupid? Louis was in love with Eleanor and she kept him happy. I had no right to interfere with that, especially considering the amount of time they had been together. Who was I to just barge into Louis' life and expect him to drop everything for me?

"I-- I think it's a great idea, Lou." I lied. Again, through my gritted teeth, I told Louis a lie. I didn't think it was a great idea. In fact, I thought it was a horrible idea.

Louis jumped back in his seat. "Really?" He asked, his eyes narrowing. He looked a tad skeptical, but before I could even question it, his expression transformed into a joyful one.

"If you two love each other, then I say go for it." 

"Thanks, Char." He brought me into a hug and I squeezed my eyes tight, wanting the tears that had pooled within them to magically disappear.

"Keep this a secret, none of the boys know yet..." Louis pulled away. Once again he was asking for my trust. And it felt wrong for him to believe I was worthy of his after the lies I had just told.

But when I saw the twinkle in his eyes-- the way happiness was dripping from every one of his features-- I reminded myself of something I shouldn't have forgotten.

Louis was happy. And that's all that mattered.

I nodded, agreeing to keep his secret, and we walked out of the parlor together. I realized that after this day, things would be different. Every time I would look at Louis, the only thing that would come to mind would be the fact that he was going to be engaged. 

That wasn't the only thing I realized that night. As we walked down the sidewalk, his hand would brush against mine, sending uninvited shivers up my spine. I had long since admitted that I had feelings for Louis. What I never realized was just how strong they were. The fact that he was soon going to be an engaged man only made me want him even more. It's like when something's on the verge of being taken-- no, snatched from your hold right in front of your eyes. You start to reaize just how much you want to keep that one thing or person close to you. How much they mean to you.

He could never be mine, yet I wanted him to hold me then more than ever. I wanted him to call me his. I wanted him to be crazy about me just as he seemed to be about Eleanor. I wanted Louis Tomlinson more than I had ever wanted anything else. 

We were back in the car and heading back to the flat when my gaze drifted to him again. His blue eyes always made me feel comfortable, like I was safe. Every time my hazel eyes met his blue ones, they left me wondering . The night we had first met, he broke down the walls I had tried so hard to build. As amazing as his eyes might have been, his smile was my favorite feature. The feeling I would get when I was able to make him smile was the best in the world.

Louis whistled and drummed his fingers on the steering wheel when we stopped at a red light. I didn't bother to wipe the few stray tears that had fallen. I simply looked away and out the window, where it was clear that it had started raining. My silent tears fell with the rain, making my sorrow grow. I finally had what I was looking for my entire life. I had someone I was in love with.

Louis Tomlinson. The boy who had, quite innocently, stolen my heart the first day that I met him. The boy that made me feel so good about myself--about life.

It was ironic.

I was in love with the one person that could never ever be mine. 

***

(A/N) PLEASE COMMENT/VOTE if you liked the chapter! Sorry for the delay in this chapter, but it's a really long one and it took me some time to write! I hope you guys enjoyed it and let me know what you think. So the dedication for this chapter is to someone that left some awesome comments on my previous work! Thank you, those really made my day :)