"Just put the fucking money in the bag, bro," I snarled at Damen, the barrel of my gun pressed against the back of the shop owner's head.

His body trembled beneath me, his lips moving as he prayed quietly in Arabic.

"Shut the hell up."

I flashed a look back at Damen, sighing. My patience was dwindling by the minute. The shop owner went silent as Damen fumbled around with the key to the cash register. The iron smell of blood filled the store.

"I'm trying, Spence. Fuck, you're making me nervous," he growled back.

I scanned the large front windows of the deli. "I just don't feel like killing him or getting arrested tonight."

The quiet street outside and the darkness of the night provided cover for an escape, but we didn't have long to collect Cayden's money before the police swarmed us.

"How much am I supposed to be getting, bro?"

I gritted my teeth, letting out a loud breath. "You idiot. You really don't listen. Just throw it all in there." I rubbed my temples with my free hand.

I would much rather have run this job with Holiday, but Cayden had sent him with Eddie and Tick to terrorize the police force. Since James' death, Cayden had an obsession with scaring the 5-0. Attacks on officers, vandalism of police equipment, and posting threatening messages at the department had become new jobs for members of the gang.

Damen stepped around the counter and stopped beside me. "I got it." He slipped the backpack on and glanced at the shop owner, kneeling down in front of him. "Tonight is your lucky night, my friend."

I stepped around the shop owner and stopped in front of him, lowering the barrel of my gun.

"Cayden said to consider this a warning. Next time, you better have his money on time or you'll end up like her," I snarled. My head tilted over to the body of the woman who had threatened to call the laws when we had first entered the shop: The lady whose life I had taken. The bullet had entered her as if she was nothing, just meat and blood, blasting a cavity in her back as blood splattered against the deli wall. Her face, once so full of life, was now left frozen, with her eyes open and her jaw slack. I ground my teeth together as I pulled my eyes away from the scene with a deep breath.

The deli owner bowed his head to us. He couldn't look at her.

"Yes, yes," he murmured.

Sirens pierced the quiet night. Blue lights reflected off the glass building across the street. My breath became ragged as I fumbled with my gun, and heat consumed my body beneath my jacket.

It was time to go. I couldn't get caught here.

My stomach tightened as I stepped away from the shop owner, shoving Damen's shoulder and forcing him to the back of the shop.

After slipping out the back door, the thumping of our feet hitting the ground and the loud blare of sirens filled the alley. With a deep breath, I scaled the chain-link fence and reached down to help Damen over. We hurried down the alley and stayed in the shadows to avoid being seen.

"That was close, bro," I mumbled as we arrived at the fire escape of the Southside apartment.

"Yeah, I know. If it wasn't for you taking out that woman, we would have been caught," he said as his dark eyes glanced up at the apartment door and he slipped the bag off his back.

There was a tug on my heart as I remembered the fear in the lady's voice as she begged for her life. It rang in my ears. I closed my eyes, and my jaw locked.

She could have been a mother or a sister. . . but now, she was nothing.

I snatched the bag from Damen's hands and started up the steps.

Was her life only worth a couple thousand dollars?

A dull ache arose in my chest. If she was a mother, how would her child feel about her not coming home? What if death was why my mother never returned for me? I felt trapped, my shoulders heavy with remorse. Cayden's job had forced me to take someone's life. Another innocent bystander had been killed by my hand.

I attempted to force the anger down as I pushed open the white door to the Southside apartment. Damen entered behind me and made his way over to the guys drinking at the kitchen table.

"Pour me one," he said with a laugh.

He seemed completely unfazed by the events of tonight. He was acting as if everything was fine while I struggled to justify my guilt. An OG does what it takes to better the brotherhood; that is what I was taught, but the more demanding the reparations my mind required, the worse I knew it was. I pulled the door shut and made my way over to the hallway, knocking on Cayden's door. It was quiet for a minute.

"Come in."

I twisted the doorknob and stepped into the room. Cayden smoked a cigarette on the edge of the bed with a red-haired girl sprawled out behind him. I threw the bag onto the floor at his feet.

"Job done," I snarled.

He glanced down at his watch as he exhaled a puff of smoke. "Impressive."

He put the cigarette out on the desk and picked the bag up off the floor. He opened it and dumped the contents out onto the desk, counting the cash. "Did Amir give you any trouble?"

"No." I clenched my fists as I stared at him. I was ready to be done for the night.

"You even got two bills over what I asked." His dark eyes rose to meet mine.

"Call me Mr. Efficient." I shrugged.

He laughed deeply, glancing at the redhead on the bed behind him."Good work tonight, Spence. You're dismissed."

I turned on my heels and exited the room, slamming the door behind me. I didn't stay to chat with anyone. I didn't say bye to Damen. The rest of the night was a blur, and the walk to my apartment was quick. What I had done I couldn't undo. The whole time I couldn't get the woman's face out of my head.

What kind of monster had I become? Was I truly okay with having blood on my hands? Yes, because it improved my rank in the gang. It gave me a chance at a better life.

I sighed, tossing my arms across my face as I laid back in my bed. I closed my eyes only to have the events of tonight run through my mind. This is what the Southside had done to me.

After a long night of tossing and turning, I awoke to a text from Adrienne. I had invited her over.

                                Yeah, I'll be over as soon as I can, Spence.

In a matter of a month, my personal goal to 'hit it and quit it' with Adrienne had taken a dramatic turn. After our first afternoon at my house together, I was unable to get enough of her. The more time I spent with her, the more intrigued I became with her. She was intelligent but patient enough to put up with my bullshit. When I thought things were falling apart, she kept me grounded. Adrienne made conversation simple, which made me comfortable. My emotions weren't bottled up around her. She made this dangerous life I was living feel worth it.

But the thing I found most appealing about her was that she never questioned my choices when it came to the gang. She never got upset when I had to be gone for long periods of time to sell drugs or handle a task for Cayden. It was nice to have someone who wanted me to come home after a day in the streets. That was the reason I wanted to talk to her about what I had done last night. It was still haunting me.

I let my legs dangle off the fire escape as I leaned my head against the rail. The guilt was like gasoline in my stomach. My insides were drowning in the toxicity, needing no more than a spark to set it ablaze. The fire had burnt me out so badly that there was nothing left but a shell, an outline of a person.

I sighed as I watched some pigeons fighting over scraps in a garbage can across the alley. The sky was overcast; thick gray clouds blocked out the sun, and a chilly breeze gusted down the alley, causing me to shiver.

"You good?"

I jumped at the sound of her voice and turned to look at her. "Damn, you scared the shit out of me." I laughed.

She skipped over and sat down beside me, crossing her legs and placing her hands in her lap. "I'm sorry." Her blue eyes scanned my face.

I managed a weak smile. "No worries, baby girl. Thanks for coming."

She ruffled my hair and smiled back at me. Her smile never failed to make me melt. "Anytime, Spence. You know I'll always be here for you when you need me."

I didn't say anything. My eyes looked back out into the abandoned alley.

"Is something bothering you?"

I let out a sigh but remained silent.

"Spencer."

I glanced over at her. She was staring at me with concern.

Guilt was etched into me like an ugly scar. I needed to get it off my chest, but telling her could mean losing her. She thought I had good inside me, but right now, the evil masked everything. It clung to me, threatening to consume me. She didn't need to carry that burden with me. I sighed again.

She tilted her head. Her eyes softened. "You can do this. No matter what it is, Spence. I'm right here." She smiled in reassurance.

In that emotional storm, in the guilt that howled inside my chest, she was the gentle center. I trusted her, and she deserved to know the truth. "I killed someone last night."

Her face contorted with shock as she leaned away from me. She hesitated before she reached to touch my arm. "Are you serious?"

I nodded my head. The dread was an invisible demon sitting heavy on my shoulders, but only I could hear the sharpening of its knives. The tremor in my hands began. I wouldn't blame her if she left, but it would kill me on the inside.

She was silent for a long time. My eyes remained on the alley.

Suddenly, her warm body leaned against my side. She laid her head on my shoulder, her blonde curls falling down my arm. I glanced at her out of the corner of my eye. The dread melted into nothing as her fingers intertwined with mine. Even when I told her I had killed someone, she didn't leave my side. She made me feel human even if I was a monster.

"Sometimes good people do bad things," she whispered, bringing me out of my thoughts.

My eyes flashed to her. "Are you speaking from experience?"

She shook her head as her eyes dripped with tears, the walls she kept up were threatening to collapse. I didn't want to push her, but curiosity prodded me.

"Adrienne, why are you okay with murder?"

"Because I've seen it before. She did it to protect us, and then, I lost her." The tears trickled across her thick eyelashes and rolled down her cheeks.

"Lost who?"

She shook her head. "It doesn't matter, Spence. Just know, I'm not about to let it happen again. I'm not going to lose you too." She managed a weak smile, but the happiness she usually carried with her seemed to disappear.

Watching the emotional pain she was in, I decided not to push it further, not today. I reached my hand to touch her cheek. The smoothness of her skin sent a tingle into the tips of my fingers. My eyes lingered on hers before she fluttered them closed, tilting her head to press her lips against mine.

My breath caught in my throat. It was a hot, fiery kiss. My pulse quickened as it deepened. She tasted so good. I couldn't get enough. My tongue brushed against hers in a sensual dance, my fingers tangling in her curls as I held her to me.

After a few seconds, she broke the kiss. Her shallow breathing matched mine as she rested her forehead against mine.

"I don't know what I would do without you," I breathed as I forced her chin up so I could look into her eyes.

A redness rushed to her cheeks and she laughed. "The feeling is definitely mutual, Spence. You've given me a fresh start."

I grinned. My attraction to her ran deep to my very core. For now, the guilt of last night was pushed to the back of my mind. I turned my attention back to the alley and got lost in the sounds of the city. She leaned her head against my shoulder again.

We sat on the fire escape so long that I lost track of time. She held my hand as we watched the sun sink behind the buildings.

After a while, her sweet voice broke the silence. "Come on, let's go somewhere more comfortable." She offered her hands.

I took them. She helped me to my feet with a quick pull. Together, we slipped through the window. She fell onto my bed and patted the place beside her. The mattress sank beneath my weight as I settled into the spot. She turned her body to face me.

Everything about her was intoxicating. The smell of her skin, her breath, and her hair all held the scent of coconuts and summer. Slowly, everything else faded from my mind until it was just her. Adrienne's lips inched closer to mine, begging for another kiss, teasing my body, and driving me completely insane.

Then, my hands moved up her arms and gripped them, rolling over so that I was on top of her. Our chests were pressed together, but I wasn't crushing her. The strength of my arms kept the weight off her. I smiled and found myself studying her face. Light freckles were sprinkled across her nose and cheeks. She laughed, sending vibrations through me. Her blue eyes met mine.

As she reached up to touch my face, her finger tips stroked along my cheekbone. The touch of her fingers to my skin sent flames across my skin. I was burning from the inside out. Her expression softened as she noticed the change in my body.

There was a stirring inside my chest. It scared me.

I placed a soft kiss against her forehead, my body shifting to settle into the mattress beside her again. She turned on her side and propped herself up on her elbow, her eyes watching me.

"Do you like being in the gang?" she asked.

The question caught me off guard. The answer didn't come easy. "Do you like doing heroin?"

She looked at me, and her eyes narrowed. She let out a deep sigh, her face going blank as she seemed to be thinking back to an unpleasant memory. "No. Heroin takes over my mind. I'd do anything to get my next hit. It swallows me in darkness, but it helps me to escape my suffering."

"How did you become addicted?"

She took a deep breath. "I didn't have a choice in the beginning, but then I used it to escape the torture."

I tilted my head and reached to touch her face. "What happened to you, babygirl?"

She turned her body to lay on her back, staring at the ceiling.

"Let's just take it a few steps at a time," she whispered, reaching to wipe away a tear.

"I'm not going to force you to tell me, but I just want you to know that I'll always be here for you."

Silence fell between us. I rested my hands on my stomach. Her fingers tickled the skin on my arm as she traced along a scar that trailed from my forearm to my elbow. I had tried to hide it with tattoos, but it protruded from my skin. I had gotten cut by a piece of glass when Damen and Holiday took me with them to bust windows at the police station. Cayden wanted us to show the pigs that the gangs weren't scared of them.

I held my breath for a moment and wondered if she was going to ask about it.

"Looks like it hurt," she stated simply.

I glanced over and saw her sit up, pushing apart some of the pieces of fabric on her ripped jeans, revealing more of her knee. I sat up on my elbows and noticed a scar that went up her knee. I raised an eyebrow.

"I used to play soccer back home in Los Angeles. I really loved it. I wanted to be the next Mia Hamm, but I got hurt last year. They had to perform surgery, and they told me it would be best if I never played again. They said there was too high a risk of re-injury. So, I quit. Worst day of my life." She sighed as she let her knee hang off the bed.

"Soccer. I didn't picture you as a soccer star. I was thinking something more along the lines of volleyball." She would look hot as hell in some of those tight spandex shorts.

She snapped her fingers and laughed at me. "Why?"

I flashed a white smile. "I'm going to give you an honest answer on this one. It's because you have a nice ass. I'm sure guys would love to watch you bounce around in shorts."

She rolled her eyes and snorted at me. "Guys in general, or do you mean you?"

"Guys in general, but especially me."

She blushed. I loved the effect I had on her.

She pushed my shoulder playfully. "I'll take that as a compliment."

I clutched her hand against my heart, wondering if she could feel it beat beneath her palm. Her eyes caught mine before she glanced down at our hands.

I don't think she understood in any way how she made me feel. Every second I spent with her, I seemed to lose a little piece of my old self and gain something new. She was my escape from the darkness of my life.

I reached up with my other hand to touch her face again, and gingerly pulled her to me. When her lips met mine, the electricity between us was gone, replaced by a burning fire that raced through my veins. This game of desire was intoxicating. Her lips were soft as I took her bottom one between mine and sucked it. Her hands gripped my shoulders and tugged at my shirt. I broke the kiss for a moment to help her pull my shirt off, and she let out a soft, breathless moan that caused my dick to harden.

My hands roamed down her body to grip her ass, pushing her down against my growing bulge. I must have hit the right spot because she let out another helpless moan, and her head tilted down to look at me, her blue eyes glossy.

"Spence," she breathed.

My muscles tightened as I pulled her hair, forcing her head back. I leaned forward to place gentle, sweet kisses down her exposed neck.

"How does that feel, baby girl?" My tongue ran down her neck. I enjoyed the sweet taste of her skin.

"Fuck." She leaned down to give me a kiss. Her lips met mine with an insatiable hunger.

She pushed me back onto the bed, and we sank into the mattress. She kissed along my chest, teasing me with her tongue every so often, until she reached the top of my jeans. She looked at me as she worked to unbutton them. Her blonde hair fell down to one side of her face. She looked sexy as hell.

I let my head fall back against the pillow as her hands reach inside the top of my jeans, but then, as quickly as they had gotten there, they disappeared. I sat up to look at her, and she leaned over the bed to grab her phone, which was vibrating in her bag. She sat back up in the bed and put the phone to her ear.

She worriedly glanced at me and bit her lip. "Hey, Uncle Jeff. Yeah, I just stopped by a friend's house."

I leaned against my elbows and watched her. The lust growing inside me had subsided.

"Yes, sir. You can pick me up at—" She stopped and looked over at me, waiting for me to tell her my address.

"1020 Hawk Street," I responded.

She repeated the address into her phone and then clicked the end call button. She let out a loud, frustrated breath and ran her hand through her hair. "My uncle is coming to get me. He can be a little overprotective." She slipped out of bed.

I nodded, trying to hide the disappointment. Pushing myself out of bed, I grabbed my shirt off the floor.

"That's understandable. I mean, this is a dangerous city," I said with a chuckle.

Adrienne's eyes roamed across my body as she pulled her bag onto her shoulder. "So, let's not mention my addiction around my uncle. I was supposed to stop."

"It can be our dirty little secret, but I do hope that one day you can tell me your whole story." I stopped beside her when we reached the bottom of the stairs.

Her blue eyes met mine. "I promise I will tell you everything one day. I just need some time," she said, tucking a strand of her blonde hair behind her ear.

"Fine. I will hold you to that promise. Your secret is safe with me."

"Thanks, Spence," she said, smiling up at me.

My eyes searched her face before landing on her lips. I leaned in toward her hesitantly. She closed the rest of the distance and gave me a sweet, passionate kiss. We broke the kiss when there was a loud honk outside. She pulled away from me and glanced through the window.

"That's my uncle. I've got to go, but I'll see you tomorrow. Don't beat yourself up about what happened. It'll be okay. I promise." She squeezed my hand.

I sighed, knowing that as soon as she left, the guilt would eat me alive.

She pulled open the door. "Please be in class tomorrow," she added as she headed down the steps from my apartment.

I scanned the street and my eyes landed on a cop car that was parked in front of my house. My heart hammered against my ribs. I placed a hand against the wall to brace myself. Why were the cops at my house? Did they find out about last night?

That's when she approached the car and opened the door, chatting away with the uniformed officer inside. My jaw locked.

Her uncle was a cop.

I squinted through the window and the face of the officer was clear. It was Mr. Jackson, who had come to the school a few months ago. Her uncle wasn't just a cop, but the chief of police. That's why she didn't want him to find out about the drugs. That's why he was overprotective.

I really wanted Adrienne with everything inside me. It was for more reasons than just the sex, but now, it was complicated. I was playing a dangerous game, and I had a good chance of losing.