The days all feel the same. Every passing second I feel like breaking, but I know that I can't afford that... Shuichi needs me to stay strong... I need to do this for him. I can't remember the last time I actually got any sleep. There are bags under my eyes now. Shuichi always looks at me concerned but never says anything. Maybe it's better that way... I'm always worried, about Shuichi, I know he is badly affected by all of this. Seeing as we still can't find Kaede and Maki... He seems more lonely. I mean it makes sense to feel lonely when all of your friends could be dead. All of them could only try and find you just to stab you in the back and betray you... I know better than anyone what betrayal feels like... my friends and family all abandoned me... I was left to live on my own... kicked out of my house... neglected and beaten... until Shuichi found me and took me in. Me and him became close, so close that I'm always anxious he will abandon me just like everyone else... 

My head started pounding. This wasn't new... ever since this hell broke lose it has been hard to do anything... I feel too sick to eat... too worried to sleep... too angry to be honest. Shuichi was trying to get me to be more honest with him... and he almost made me comfortable enough to try... but then the incident happened... and I know that being honest won't help anyone...

I sighed and kept my gaze on the door not wanting any unwanted guest to come in. Not again... Shuichi was still sleeping in the side room connected to the kitchen. I think it's good for him to get sleep... he gets more emotional when he doesn't get sleep... it always hurts my heart when I see him cry... I don't let myself cry in front of anyone... especially Shuichi. I need to be strong for him. I need to be strong to survive. What I want doesn't matter anymore... I just need t make sure we can both make it out alive. 

I sat watch for an hour or so until I heard Shuichi shuffle around in the side room. Breaking the silence. He walked into the room and took his place next to me. "We should go get water..." He said in a quiet whisper. Everything had to be quiet now... or something might hear you... and try and attack you...

"Yeah, let's go," I said standing up seeing Shuichi do the same. He walked into the back room and grabbed his gun and knife putting them in his belt. I gave him a nod and we went to the back and opened the hatch to go outside.

The outside world had fallen apart a long time ago... when all of this started... it was about 4 months ago when we could walk outside not having to worry about getting infected... not having the feeling of imminent death hanging over our heads. 

Shuichi took my hand in his and we walked down our street. Most of the other houses had been abandoned. The only other survivors we knew were about 3 miles away. Tenko and Rantaro have a base upstate in a broken-down hotel. We go there sometimes, but we all have to hold our own. "Hey Kokichi, did you sleep last night?" Shuichi asked. He asks me this every day... although I didn't want him finding it out... I haven't got sleep for a long time. No matter how hard I try I still can't fall asleep for more than 30 minutes... "No... but you shouldn't worry about me, Shu..." I whispered under my breath making him sigh and rub my hand in an attempt at comfort. "I will always worry about you Kokichi..." He said planting a small kiss on my cheek. Pulling my face up so I would look at him. "I know..." I said moving my hand to his cheek to caress the skin. 

Our skin on our hands and palms had gotten noticeably rougher. It's because of all the things we have to do on a daily basis... sharpen the knives, clean the ammo, and make sure all the boards are secure... It wasn't the best thing they had to do in their free time. But it was what had to be done to survive.

The rest of the walk was silent. This was mainly to make sure that no one could sneak up on us from behind. The stream was ahead and Shuichi used the bottles in the backpack to get some water. We did most of our collecting together because it was too dangerous to go alone. Someone had to collect and the other had to keep watch, making sure the other was not harmed. We took turns doing both roles. Neither of us liked the idea of having to hurt or kill someone who used to be living... after Kaito...

People from other survivor groups would come and attack others for food. And there were also the people who got infected. Some will die moments after, choking on their own blood... while others can survive under the infection for months... That's why it is so dangerous to have a lot of people in your group... because the thing about this virus... is that, symptoms show up in about an hour for most victims... if you haven't already been killed... and the symptoms are like the ones you get when you a cold... it starts with coughing... then it becomes rougher... and soon enough you start to cough up blood... and then it comes out of your eyes and mouth... until you bleed to death or suffocate on your own blood. 

I hated the idea of knowing that something could happen to Shuichi when I let my guard down. He could get infected and die... and I wouldn't be able to do anything to stop it... This is why I stay up most nights... because if something were to happen... I would want to be able to take his place... because his life has always been more important than mine.

"Kokichi, I filled all of them up," Shuichi said snapping me out of my thoughts. "Alright, let's get moving then," I said before grabbing his hand and walking with him back to our base. I know as soon as we get back we have to check for any cuts or wounds to check for any chance of the other being infected. Then we have to disinfect the water by boiling it. The infection can be killed by high temperatures... but if you tried to cure a human this way... they would boil to death and die...

"Hey Kokichi, I need to check for wounds." He said walking over putting his hand and my shoulder. I sighed. "Ok shu..." I said striping of my shirt. He moved his hands across my exposed skin. We have had to do this every time we leave and return. But I can't help but shudder at the feeling of his soft hands on my skin. He is always so gentle and so sweet to me. I smiled as he checked my arms. "It looks good. Let me check your legs." He whispered. He still gets embarrassed when he has to do a body check. I find this so cute. I gave him a smile. "Of course my beloved~," I cooed removing my pants and sitting back down on the chair. 

He let a small frown come to his face when he saw all the scars littering my legs and arms. They are all from a long time ago... before I met Shuichi. "It's ok Shuichi, I won't do that to myself ever again... because I have you here with me!" I exclaimed, keeping my voice hushed. "Thank you Kokichi." He said giving me a smile before nodding that he was done. I put my clothes back on and he took a spot in the chair. I checked and made sure no new marks were on him. He had some scars from an attack from a while ago. When the world was still in panic... some survivors took him and hurt him to try and get me and him to join them... we barely managed to escape...

"You're all done Shumai~," I said placing a kiss on his shoulder before kissing him on his lips. We stayed there for a moment letting the desperation and worry consume the embrace. I felt safe when we could be like this... in these small moments, I let myself forget everything... I just let the feeling of his body next to mine fill my thoughts. "Thank you Kichi," He said placing a kiss on my forehead before getting dressed again. I went to the kitchen and started a fire under the burner on the stove. I brought the bag Shuichi was carrying and dumped all the water into a pot. The water started to boil before Shuichi joined my side again. 

"Kokichi, do you ever think it could go back to the way before?" Shuichi asked wrapping his arms around my waist. The way it was before? Is that even possible?

-I hope that this is a good continuation of the first part... I have been trying to write better and do more description... I hope it was decent... Thanks for reading!-

-ShuichiOuma010-