A/N: Trigger Warning, mild panic attack. I tried not to be too detailed, but I really want to make sure everyone knows before they read.

Also:

1) This chapter is dedicated to the lovely apex-aporia and their story, Clarity. It's got a wonderful protagonist in Vanessa Liang, and her powers are beautifully written. So this one's for you, Rainy, because I know how much you like backstories :)

2) Though Infinity War is out, this story was written and set before it, so whatever happens in IW won't be mentioned. So don't be a prick and post spoilers. #ThanosDemandsYourSilence
_______________________________

"I've never met a strong person with an easy past."

NADINE

Police arrived at the scene after the group got away. They searched through anything that so far linked them to being there, but nothing had surfaced yet. However, judging by how most news articles were along the lines of "Businessman François Gauthier murdered at sham art gala", it's clear that the police were tipped off about what'd went on behind the scenes. François's reputation was in shambles, his businesses about to be run aground, and now that he was dead, he couldn't do anything about it.

The universe worked in mysterious ways.

The next day, Taj picked them up in the plane. With Kaia's connections at the airport, he managed to land on a secluded spot, and they snuck through airport security and onto the plane. It was all part of an act where one of them- Kaia, obviously -was an important figure on their way to their private jet. The minute the plane's in the air, the first thing Taj did was throw a pillow at Emilia. "Hey!" she snapped, giving him a fierce glare. "What the hell was that for?!"

"That's for not inviting me on this mission," he retorted, catching the pillow when she threw it back. "I always get left behind on the cool ones."

"There was no time to pick you up, did you want Kaia to die?!"

"Um, excuse me, but I would very much not like to die." Kaia said, her eyes focused on Bucky's knight. They were seated across from each other, a chessboard placed between them on a small table. She'd asked if he knew what it was (to his annoyance), and when he replied with a snippy "yes", she went on and on about how it helped stimulate the brain until he finally gave in. They were now stuck in a very intense game, which, come to think of it, was a bad idea. When she moved her rook, Kaia smirked at him, crossing her arms in too early triumph. "Your move, Soldat."

Nadine chuckled when Bucky glared at her. Kaia tended to be competitive, and he seemed to be the same, so this could probably end with one of them throwing the chessboard across the plane. She stood from her seat, giving Bucky a soft squeeze on the shoulder as she passed by to go the bathroom. When she looked in the mirror, she wasn't surprised at seeing how tired she looked. She hadn't slept at all, too busy searching through security cameras and files to see if she could figure out who took the sphere. Her suspicions were leaning towards the Triad, seeing as she'd been fighting three of their members when they overwhelmed her and she had to make a break for it, without the sphere. However, it could've been anyone at the end of the night. It really aggravated her to know that anyone could have it, and the possibilities of what they could do with it worried her. Sighing, she splashed some cold water on her face, not caring if her bangs got wet, in an attempt to wake herself up.

"How did you all meet?" Her hand stopped at the doorknob as she heard Bucky's question. "You're all so different, so I'm curious."

"Well, Dante and I were born into the same family..." Emilia responded, her tone sarcastic.

"Very funny, Emilia."

"Okay, okay. We're from Colombia," she responded seriously this time, and the way she said her country's name reminded Nadine of the Spanish accent she used to have. It wasn't so distinct anymore, but there were certain times where she could hear it in her voice, same with Dante. It was like a memory of the life they left behind. "We were forced to fight in the guerrillas, and then we were smuggled into the US and sold to Jameson."

The way she spit the old man's name made it clear that the memory of the day she was given to the bastard was still fresh, and Nadine remembered too. They'd been taken away from Colombia under the pretense that they'd be free from the guerrillas and wouldn't have to hold a gun ever again. Little did they know that they'd only be trading one gun for another. Nadine could still hear Jameson's threatening voice boom in her ears as he forced her to spar with a then thirteen year old Dante, who was 2 years older than her. "Don't stop until you break him," he'd said, and the way his black eyes observed the preteens fight until they drew blood still made her hands shake and her head fill with an uncontrollable rage.

"Jameson?" Bucky questioned, and she could hear his confusion.

"Yeah, Jameson was a guy that bought children and trained them to have different roles in the intelligence world. They could be snipers, ciphers, hackers, anything an organization needed. And once they were ready, he'd sell them to the highest bidder. It was like a fucked up adoption agency for assassins."

Nadine was leaning against the sink now, her eyes shut tight as she tried force down the bile that was slowly creeping up her throat because of the memories. She felt like the tattoo she had on the back of her neck was burning her, reminding her of who she was to him. A pawn. A prisoner. A damn number.

Breathe, Nadine.

"That-" Bucky couldn't seem to find the words. And she didn't blame him. There weren't any words to describe it. "I don't know what to say."

"It's fine," Emilia assured. Nadine could've sworn she heard her voice crack a bit. "Just so long as you don't say something stupid like how sorry you are. I've never liked that."

Bucky chuckled softly. "Just so long as you don't tell me the same thing."

"Anyway, I met Nadine in the SHIELD Academy," Kaia said, her tone displaying how distracted she was with the game. "She was eighteen and with much rage inside of her."

Obviously.

"Really?" For some reason, Bucky's tone sounded eager, like he was interested in learning more of his friend. Nadine didn't have the strength to care about keeping it from him, not with her mind being so muddled at the moment.

She forced her tears back with the back of her hands.

"Oui, yes, she was volatile. She only completed two years of the Academy before they decided she could graduate. No one knew why, they just knew she wasn't an ordinary person."

Kaia knew, afterwards. Nadine told her, especially since rumors started circulating as to why she graduated after two years, and that she was given a nickname by Romanoff herself: Cherry Bomb. The majority didn't understand why, and Nadine preferred it that way.

"Do you know?"

Their voices sounded distant. There was a lump in her throat, and her nails dug deep into her palms to keep her from losing control.

"Yes, but I'm not telling you."

She let go of the breath she was holding, her shoulders releasing the tension that was forming around her back. Nadine stepped back and sat down on the floor of the bathroom, her arms wrapped around her legs as she tried to steady her heart rate again.

She couldn't let Jameson consume her. Never again.

"Moving on, I was the one who brought Taj into our group." Nadine concentrated on Kaia's voice, letting herself get distracted from the feeling of her chest closing in on her. "I was in Uganda tracking a lead for a crime lord, and this petit trou du coul interfered. Lost my asset because of him. When SHIELD fell a year later and we started this, I decided to look for him again."

"You should be grateful that you did," Taj sassed, his light tone making Nadine smile softly. "You all would've been lost without me."

"Considering we almost died in Bordeaux because you hadn't noticed the cameras were on a loop," Emilia drawled, but there was no malice in her words. "I'm pretty sure we'd be fine without you."

"Okay, I'll agree that I deserve that one."

Bucky laughed, and she felt her mind ease a bit at the airy tone. "What were you doing in Uganda?"

"Living there," Taj stated in a matter of fact tone. "I got into some trouble, and was forced to leave my country."

Trouble meaning he got entangled in his cousin's plans to assassinate the then king of Wakanda, and his only option was to flee. To say he was bitter of what had happened was an understatement, but Nadine knew his hatred was directed at his cousin, not his country. He'd do anything to go back home. Nadine couldn't relate to that. She didn't have a home.

Her breathing was stabilizing now, as well as her heart rate. All she felt now was pure exhaustion, like the state of panic that she'd just been in had drained her of the little energy she had left.

"I settled in Uganda until Kaia came and told me about her strange friends that own guns."

"These strange friends gave you a home," Emilia snapped, her tone full of playful annoyance. Nadine finally stood back up, and opened the door and when Emilia turned to look at her, her dimpled grin had vanished. "Dina?"

The conversation ceased to exist as everyone stared at her.

"Dina, you look like shit," Taj said as he broke the silence, but even he wasn't joking, just concerned.

"I noticed," Nadine drawled, her voice displaying how tired she was. She quickly went to find one of the first aid kits they had on the plane. "My head's killing me."

Emilia was looking at her, lips pressed into a firm line. She ignored it and sifted through the kit, finding a packet of aspirin for her pounding head. As she swallowed the tablet and then sat down across from Emilia, she was aware of everyone still staring at her. Great. "Don't let me stop the fun."

"Okay," Taj muttered, but the uneasiness was a clear sign that he wasn't convinced. "The last one to join our group was Fong. We met him through Dante."

"He became a pacifist when he joined us," Kaia continued, finally returning her gaze to the game. "He's like our dad."

"I think it's great how you all sort of just, came together." Bucky's gaze was settled on Nadine. She gave him a tired smile, and he warmed up a bit, smiling back, despite the concern written in his eyes. "And you became a family."

"Well, yeah," Taj said, lazily leaning against Kaia's seat to look at the chessboard. Behind her, he motioned for Bucky to move one of his pieces to the left, clearly in an attempt to help him win. "Those who get shot at together, stay together. And, just so you know, you're kinda family too, now."

Bucky froze mid move to look at him, surprise and disbelief written all over his face. "Really? You mean that?"

"Of course I do," he replied. "Kinda hard not to be when we've almost gotten you killed how many times?"

"I agree with Taj. I like you, and you saved my ass last night. So, as far as I'm concerned, whoever messes with you, messes with me," Emilia said as she gave him a nod. Her eyes twinkled with amusement at seeing Bucky so shocked. "That includes Dante. Seriously, he gives you trouble, let me know."

Nadine could've sworn that there were tears in his eyes. Clearly, he hadn't expected to be welcomed into their group, or any group. Hearing them openly accept him must've been overwhelming. "Thanks, Emilia."

"You know, you'd make a pretty good mercenary," Kaia commented, lifting her gaze to look at him. "If you're up for it."

"Thanks," he replied, clearly grateful. "It means a lot to me that you want me on your team, more than you know. But, I'm not sure if I'd want to be a mercenary, because..."

He didn't need to say it. Everyone understood why. He wanted to leave this type of life behind, find something better. Frankly, Nadine thought that he needed it. She'd noticed that whenever he took a life, guilt would flash before his eyes. And though that meant he was human after all, it also meant he's at risk of losing that guilt forever.

And Nadine didn't want that for him, she realized.

"Understandable. Either way, they're right." For the first time since they'd met, Kaia gave him a smile. Not a seductive one like when she wanted a secret, but a genuine one that meant he'd earned her respect. "Whatever happens from here on out, you're one of us now. Right, Dina?"

Bucky turned towards her, and all the memories of their time together seemed to surface with just one look. It's crazy how fast they'd learned to trust each other, but they did. Near death experiences seemed to bring people closer. "Yeah," Nadine agreed, and chose to ignore how her heart rate seemed to increase when he smiled. "Yeah, welcome to the family, James."

• • •

They arrived at Maricota soon enough.

"We're home!" Taj announced as they entered, arms stretched out like he was the most important person in the room. Fong was sitting at the dining room table, with Dante. "Well, well, well. Fong, I thought we told you to consult us before you brought strays into the house."

Fong choked on a laugh. "What can I say? This one was too adorable to kick out."

"Hilarious, fucking hilarious." Dante drawled, standing up from his place next to Fong, who was chuckling and shaking his head at Taj's antics.

Said Wakandan headed into the kitchen, forgetting all about Dante's return, whereas everyone else simply stared. Nadine noticed that he had some facial hair now, and judging by his tired, baggy eyes, he hadn't been out vacationing.

"Dante!" Emilia was the one who broke the silence and hugged her brother's waist, the height difference between them hilariously noticeable. She was petite in every sense of the word, whereas Nadine remembered Dante being Steve's height, though leaner in muscle.

"Hey, sis," he chuckled as he pulled back, his smile quickly turning into a frown. "What the fuck happened to your face?!"

Nadine heard Taj snort. "Two minutes, and already Dante's in brother mode. A new record, surely."

"Nothing, just some glass," Emilia said hurriedly, and quickly steered his head towards Kaia's direction in an attempt to stop his brotherly nagging. "Hey, look! It's Kaia!"

"Kaia Labonair," he breathed, the look on his face making it clear that not even he was immune to the woman's charm. "It's been a while since I've seen you."

The smile on Kaia's face could bring men to their knees, even while dressed in civilian clothes. "Missed me?"

"Of course he did!" Taj said, his head poking out of the fridge in amusement.

"Shut up, Taj," Dante snapped, before finally turning towards Nadine, his smile soft and void of any anger. "Nadine."

"Dante," she replied, the tension she'd been unaware of lifting from her shoulders. "You're back."

"Yeah, but just for a few days. I'm tracking a lead, came to take a breather."

His eyes flickered towards Bucky, and Nadine could see the wariness that she'd been worried about since he left. "Are you still mad?"

"No, I'm not, I promise," he replied, giving her a reassuring nod. He stuck a hand out towards Bucky. "Hey, man."

Bucky looked at Dante's hand for a second, as if expecting a trick, but then he accepted it, his face void of any emotion. "Dante."

"Compórtate, Dante," Emilia warned, pointing an accusing finger at him as she sat next to Fong, who quickly started checking the cuts on her face. "You so much as look at him funny and I'll punch you in the face."

"I suggest heeding her warning," Fong replied, his lips quirked into a smirk. "Your sister's small, but deadly."

"Damn right I am."

"I know," Dante muttered, shaking his head in amusement. His gaze shifted back to Nadine. "Can we talk?"

She didn't hesitate. Placing her bags on the corner, she followed him upstairs, and to his room. It had a glass pane facing the direction of the backyard, while two of the walls were painted in a golden color. In the mornings, when he pulled the curtains that covered the glass pane apart, the sun's rays would creep in from the east and brighten the walls up, making it look like the sunrise was trapped in the concrete. It was beautiful, but too bright for Nadine's liking.

He made his way to the walnut-colored, wooden window seat at the window pane, and Nadine followed, trying to ignore the fact that he was studying her every move. "You look tired," he noticed, raising an eyebrow in suspicion. "Have you slept?"

"Relatively." She waved a dismissive hand, trying to act nonchalant about it. "We lost that sphere, and I've been trying to see if I could get any leads."

"Is that all?" Dante questioned, unconvinced. Nadine's glare must've been enough to drop it, because he averted his gaze. "Okay, changing the subject... I see Emmi's taken a liking to Bucky."

"Kind of. He saved her from getting shot."

Dante raised his eyebrows in surprise. He wasn't expecting that. "Really? I have to thank him for that later, then."

"You should," she agreed, already dreading the awkwardness of this whole conversation. Just get to the point.

He seemed tired of it as well, if his eye roll was any indication. "I'm sorry for taking off."

"No, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to bring up Yuna."

"I know you didn't," he replied, rubbing his hands on his face in a tired state. "I miss them."

Nadine didn't hesitate to wrap her arm around his, placing his head on her shoulder in an attempt to comfort him. It wasn't much, but she could only hope it'd help. "I know."

"Do you think there's ever a chance we could live a normal life?"

"What do you mean?" she asked, her brows furrowing. Where was that coming from? Yuna?

"All of this," he motioned to their surroundings. "Yuna and our baby died because she wanted to live a normal life, and the Hand didn't want that. What if we're the same?"

"I-" Nadine didn't know how to respond. She'd had that conversation with Fong before, but all it left was uncertainty. "I don't know..."

"Yeah. Guess we just gotta deal with la mierda de vida we were given."

"I don't think I'm capable of living a normal life." Her attention was at the pool now, which was visible from this distance, and she noticed their group was making their way down there, Bucky included. He was wearing a normal t-shirt, which exposed his metal arm. It was the first time she'd seen it in person. She expected to be intimidated by it, but she wasn't. Maybe it had to do with how she trusted him, or maybe it was just not as intimidating as it's made to be. "Settle down, fall in love..."

"I really hope you do, leonessa," he said, his gaze following her's. Kaia and Bucky were standing near the edge of the pool, talking, while Emilia and Taj were situated near them. Judging by the way they were looking at the dark-haired man, the duo was planning something devious, like they always did when they got together. "Because falling in love is one of the best things life has to offer, even if it's also one of the most horrible things to exist."

Taj and Emilia attempted to push Bucky into the pool, to no avail. What happened instead was that the super soldier snaked an arm around the woman's torso and threw her into the pool. Bucky's glare must've been intimidating enough, seeing as Taj willingly jumped into the pool, while Kaia stepped away to avoid being next. Dante snorted, shaking his head in amusement, and Nadine only smiled as her eyes stayed on the man below.

"We'll see about that."
_______________________________

WORD TRANSLATION:
1) Soldat (french)- soldier
2) Oui (french)- yes
3) petit trou du coul (french)- little asshole
4) Compórtate, Dante (spanish)- Behave, Dante
5) la mierda de vida (spanish)- the shit of life; shitty life