A/N: AYOOOOOOOO I'm baaaack~

Hello beautiful people! I hope y'all are doing okay!

Please don't kill me, but I'm gonna be honest, I quite literally forgot this fanfic existed lol oops

In my defense, I do work and have a tendency to focus on one specific thing

It happens a lot and this is why my therapist decided to test me for ADHD <3 and guess what besties? I have ADHD :D

But NEVER FEAR! I'm back w a new chapter! And we're going back to Bucky's POV for this one!

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"Guilt is the worst demon to bear,

Strangling you
From the inside of your body.

Apologise.
Make amends.
Let go.
Breathe free."
-Nikita Gill

BUCKY

It had been two days since they arrived in Wakanda. Despite one of the medics instructing Kaia to rest after patching up her wound, neither her nor Bucky had been able to. They stayed holed up in a small room T'Challa was gracious to lend them, constantly communicating with Selene for any type of clue as to where Nadine had been taken. Their search hasn't been all that fruitful, much to their chagrin- and desperation.

Even though logically it made sense that The Hand was good at disappearing, his mind couldn't comprehend how Nadine vanished without a trace. Nothing turned up, and it was difficult to come to terms with it.

Eventually, he got tired of staring at a computer. His saving grace was when Steve called that he picked up Sam, Fong, and Emilia and was bringing them to Wakanda. So, choosing to give himself time to rest his eyes, he met them at the ramps, his hands clenching and unclenching in anxious wait as his best friend was the first to greet him. "Steve."

"Buck." Steve didn't hesitate to pull him into a tight hug. Even as time went on, he still knew when Bucky needed more than just a few words of comfort. "I'm sorry."

"Where's Natasha?" he asked as he pulled back, attempting to divert the conversation.

Steve took the hint and tried to keep the conversation as light as he could. "Tracking a lead. She hasn't stopped looking since we found out. I'm heading back out there to help her."

Bucky was about to respond when Fong and Sam walked over, both bruised and weary, which immediately set him into high alert. "What happened?" 

Sam seemed hesitant to speak. "Dante and Kristina are gone," he replied after a few seconds, guilt written all over his features.

"The Bratva attacked," Steve said before Bucky could react. He seemed to sense that he wouldn't react too calmly without a thorough explanation first. "They were looking for Kristina. I left Natasha in Istanbul and went to pick them up."

Bucky looked at Fong and Sam again, finally understanding their downtrodden expressions. "Are you guys okay?"

"Yeah," Sam said with a small shrug, though he was clearly not amused. "I'm just pissed they're gone. I thought I was getting through to Dante."

Fong sighed. In all that time, the man hadn't said a word. "I am afraid Dante's mind needs more than what we can offer him."

That didn't seem to absolve Sam of his guilt. Instead, he crossed his arms in front of his chest, almost in an attempt to protect himself from his inner turmoil.

"We'll get him back," Steve reassured everyone, though he himself was starting to lose a bit of his optimism.

"Where's Emilia?" Bucky asked, taking note of her absence.

"The king was gracious enough to let her get checked by Wakanda's finest doctors," Fong replied. "Bucky, if it's not any problem, I would like to help you find Nadine. I have lost many people during my years of work. My son, Yuna, Dante... I won't let her be next."

Bucky knew about a few things about Fong's son, but he didn't need to. Normally, he looked like any man in his forties, but the last few weeks since they first heard about Dante and Taj's capture seemed to age him. His gaze was tired and he knew that Fong was serious about getting back into the field for Nadine and Dante.

"I'm sorry," Bucky said. He couldn't help it, his guilt seemed to eat him alive. "I'm so sorry, Fong. I didn't mean for this to happen."

Fong quickly shook his head in disagreement, placing a hand on Bucky's shoulder in reassurance. Though he was shorter than Bucky, the gesture felt comforting, almost like a fatherly embrace. "It is not your fault, Bucky. None of this is your fault."

"I can't say I agree, but yes, of course. Do you have a weapon?" he asked, to which Fong nodded once.

"The intimidating Wakandan warriors have confiscated it."

"Is that my white boy?"

Bucky didn't have time to process the interruption before he was bowing his head in respect at the young woman standing before them. Her braided hair was tied in a tall bun, her mischievous eyes analyzing her new guests curiously. "Princess," he greeted softly, earning a grin from the girl.

"You have not come to visit," Princess Shuri chastised, eyebrows raised in and hands resting on her hips in mock accusation, like a teacher scolding a student. In many ways, despite the vast age difference, he did feel like that was their dynamic. Shuri was too brilliant for him to keep up.

"I'm sorry," he mused. It was difficult to keep a serious face around the princess. "Your brother said you were busy running some tests on Taj. I didn't want to interrupt you."

"James," she started, and he resisted the urge to roll his eyes. No matter how much he tried to get her -or anyone in Wakanda, really- to call him Bucky, it didn't seem to work. "I can, as you Americans say, multitask. So, what is this I hear about you being in love?"

T'Challa was lucky he was a king and punching him would probably get Bucky executed.

"Something like that," he muttered, trying to unclench his jaw.

Shuri smirked. "Well, how unfortunate for her. But I am glad you are here, seeing as I want to run some tests on your arm. Perhaps we can add some upgrades while you're here."

T'Challa shook his head. "I am afraid that has to wait until we are assured that Sergeant Barnes's girlfriend is safe."

Fong and Steve raised their eyebrows almost immediately, their gazes turning at Bucky questioningly, but neither looked angry or concerned, just surprised. Sam, meanwhile, had a glint in his eyes that showed his amusement of the situation at hand.

"Thanks, uh, but Nadine's not my girlfriend. We haven't really gotten to that point, I think."

"How vintage of you," Sam said dryly. Steve hid his laugh behind a cough after getting caught in Bucky's glare.

"But, brother, just one test?"

The look on T'Challa's face made it clear that he he wasn't amused by his sister's antics. "Shuri, that is final."

"Fine," Shuri conceded, but scoffed in blatant irritation. "You want to be boring? I will be boring with you, but I will not be happy about it. In the meantime, Barnes will just have to tell me about his girlfriend."

• • •

Emilia looked worse for wear. She was sitting with her head back against the wall, her gaze settled on her phone screen. Her arm remained in a sling, but her most significant injury was a fresh one on her nose. It was bruised and swollen, a signal that even with one arm tied she still fought back.

"Hey," Bucky called, but Emilia's gaze only looked at him for a second before settling back onto her phone.

"You look like shit," she drawled, though her voice fell a little flat.

"I could say the same about you," he shot back, but no matter how much he tried, Bucky couldn't put the same joking energy in it.

"What if Nadine ends up like Dante and Taj?" 

His fists tightened at his sides at the thought.

"Don't say that Emilia," Fong said, his hand delicately brushing through her hair in an attempt to comfort her. "I'm here, Bucky is as well."

Emilia didn't seem at ease. Naturally, though, Bucky couldn't blame her. "I know it's just... Dante and Nadine... it's always been the three of us since we were kids, y'know?"

He understood what she meant. They'd been through so much together and now she must have felt like the last person standing.

"Emilia, you should decide who do we search for first," he said. It only seemed fair, all things considered.

"Nadine," she replied abruptly.

Bucky exchanged looks with Fong, who seemed just as surprised at her quick answer. "Are you sure?"

"Kristina's not going to hurt Dante. I know her, she needs him alive to get to me. Nadine's the priority because we don't know what they have planned for her," she said, nodding once, almost like she was trying to convince herself of her thought process.

"Okay."

"When do we leave?"

"No, your arm still needs to heal," Fong said. This was one of the many instances where he looked like a chagrined parent. "You're staying."

Emilia seemed offended that he'd even suggest that. "But-"

"-Emmi," Bucky said, taking her hand in his. Her tear-filled eyes made it clear she was barely keeping it together. "We're getting her back, but we won't be able to if we have to worry about you too. When your arm fully heals, you can come. It won't be long."

"Fine," she relented, squeezing his hand as she swallowed hard. When her brown eyes met Bucky's again, it was like the embers of a fire were burning behind them. "Just get her back."

"Well, I am going."

Everyone turned towards the door. Kaia stood there, nonchalant as ever, as if she hadn't been pale, sweating, and bleeding profusely just a few days before.

"You literally just got shot, Kaia."

"Yes," Kaia agreed, shrugging. "And it has been healed enough by your stitching and the thing that the Wakandan doctors used. I do not know what it is called, but that doesn't matter. You cannot stop me, Soldat."

"You have nicknames for everyone?" Sam as he entered the room "I'm hurt I haven't received one."

"Only the people I like," Kaia shot back, but she trying hard not to smile.

"Okay," Bucky said. Everyone turned to look at him attentively, waiting for the next steps. "We restart the search in a few hours."

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A/N: Ahhhh I loved this chapter for some reason. Maybe it's because my babies are in Wakanda

Well, some of them

Whoops

Anyway! Thank you sm for reading! I hope you enjoyed this chapter and sorry again for the small delay lol