A/N: Guess who?

Lmao, enjoy!

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"And your burdens will continue to be there unless you learn to forgive."

BUCKY

Bucky had lived a thousand lives and suffered a thousand more. He'd gone through hell and still wasn't convinced he'd come back from it. The few moments he'd been convinced that he'd finally escaped were with Nadine and the rest of the ghosts, as Shuri "lovingly" called them, back in Maricota. Those moments of solitude, of relative peace, pushed him to put himself back together. But now, as he sat waiting, he was drowning in his torment. Bucky was back in hell, once again waiting for the universe to tell him when it was finally his turn to breathe.

When they arrived in Wakanda, Nadine was immediately whisked away by doctors. He was grateful for the kindness T'Challa offered them, but it was agony. His mind continued to replay everything: when they met, when they fought, when they kissed, when Nadine was captured, when they were reunited, and when they were separated once again. Every time it seemed like she was back in his arms, in his grasp, he was forced to watch her slip away.

Bucky was also thinking about what he did to get her back. He killed once again. Purposefully, intently. They were not good people, at all, but he still felt like the progress he made had been undone. He didn't want to be a killer, that was his desire from the beginning. And yet, here he was, with more blood on his hands.

Blood that, despite it all, he didn't regret spilling, not if it meant he could still look into Nadine's gaze and hear her laugh. No, deep down, Bucky confirmed that he would kill for that woman if she so much as asked.

And that terrified him.

His thoughts were interrupted as Fong entered the room. It was a lounge room, but T'Challa was gracious to grant them the privacy as they waited on news about Nadine's health.

"She's alive," Fong confirmed. Everyone let out a breath, but the tension was still thick. Alive didn't mean she was fine, and everyone knew it.

Shuri entered the room. Her expression was grave, but she still managed to give Bucky a small, reassuring smile. "The scans are ready."

Fong nodded, and the moment Shuri pressed one of the beads on her bracelet, the table lit up. A series of holograms floated in the air as different scans came up. The scans resembled a woman's silhouette.

"Well, firstly. We confirmed that she has a mix of hallucinogens in her system. So the bruising on her arms could be related to that." Fong pointed to a model of her skeleton. Certain areas lit up red. "She has fractures on her ribs and ankle, and her kneecap was shattered."

"But it can be fixed, right?" Emilia asked. Her eyes were downcast, almost hesitating to look at the scans.

"The kneecap has been replaced, yes," Shuri confirmed.

Bucky's knee stopped shaking when Emilia placed a calming hand on it. He hadn't even realized he was doing it until she did that. "Will she be able to walk?"

"Not without assistance for now, but she will."

"What else?" Natasha asked impatiently. She hadn't stopped pacing since they arrived. Her short, bleached hair was tied back messily. Bucky shared the desperation, but unlike her, he was also exhausted.

"She has bruising on various areas of her body, indicating a fight, or fights," Fong replied, motioning towards her wrists, chest, and legs. "Her hand was also fractured, but the doctors were able to put the bones in place."

"She also went through a series of electroshock therapy."

"What?!"

Shuri winced at Bucky's outburst. She was dreading having to mention that detail. "I was not able to recover all of them, but... I did recover one video of, her, torture. It is an early one."

He turned towards his right to look at Kaia, who was rubbing her hand over her face. Her under-eye bags were more pronounced today due to the lack of sleep. She looked just like he felt. "Don't play it," he said.

"Send it to me," Natasha said, her brows furrowed in a deep scowl. "I want to know who they are."

"Natasha," Steve started, but the woman sent him a warning glare. A few seconds of tense silence enveloped them until finally, Steve sighed in defeat.

It was during these moments where Bucky noticed how much of an influence Natasha actually had on Nadine. There was a dark quality that followed them both, a willingness to make certain decisions that wouldn't normally be considered the best. Natasha was better at controlling it, and ever since she joined the Avengers and stayed with Steve, it seemed like she'd grown past it. But Nadine's safety brought out her ruthlessness once again, in a way that only rivaled that of a woman protecting her child.

All in all, Natasha was the mother Nadine never had, even when neither woman cared or even wanted to admit it.

When Shuri turned to Bucky, he shook his head. One thing was seeing Nadine in pain, but seeing how they hurt her would send him in a murderous rampage. He was afraid that if he saw it, he wouldn't be able to stop. "There is one more thing."

"There's more?" Emilia asked incredulously. She couldn't believe this wasn't done and frankly, he couldn't either.

"Not bad news," Fong reassured. His serious gaze didn't falter, but his shoulders seemed to release some of the tension he'd been carrying. "Once the kneecap was replaced, the doctors noticed that her body is healing at a much faster rate than normal. They had to work quickly on placing the bones back where they belonged."

Bucky stared at him. What was he talking about? It didn't make any sense. "What are you saying?"

"Something's different," he continued. "We do not know yet, but Shuri did some tests to see what could be the cause. The theory is one of the drugs she was exposed to or a mix of them."

"So," Kaia spoke for the first time since this conversation started. Her face didn't betray any emotion she felt about the situation, but she wasn't elated by the news. "She's...?"

"Enhanced." Steve finished. He looked both confused and worried. He seemed to think the same thing Bucky was. Whatever it was that Nadine had, she'd suffered immensely to receive it.

Oh, God.

"Perhaps. We do not know if this is a permanent situation."

Bucky's mind flashed back and thought about the orange explosion. Nadine's pained sound. The image of her being tortured or experimented on plagued his thoughts. He wanted to say he couldn't believe it, but both he and Steve were living proof that this was, in fact, credible. And what's worse, is that neither could say that they didn't suffer to get the abilities that they had.

He swallowed the bile creeping up his throat at the thought and stood up. Everyone stared at him, like they were expecting him to burst. His heart pounded relentlessly and he wanted to hide from all their looks. He couldn't deal with this right now.

So he just walked away. He walked away from everyone and didn't look back.

. . .

Bucky didn't think much about where he was going, but his mind had one specific goal: Nadine.

He needed to see her. Even though his mind was reeling from all the information, he wouldn't be able to process it fully until he was within her vicinity. Nothing made sense anymore. Nothing except his desire to be near her and tell her that everything would be fine. He didn't know how long it'd been since he walked out and wandered aimlessly, hoping that by some miracle, he could find Nadine on his own.

"Bucky."

At the mention of his name, he stopped, turning to see Steve walking towards him. Gone was the white, blood-stained clothing that he'd arrived in. Now, he was dressed in a hoodie and jeans, a serious expression on his bearded face. "I'm sorry."

"Why are you sorry?" Bucky asked, confused by the statement.

"I don't even know anymore, really," Steve admitted, his hand running through his hair. "I'm sorry that your... that Nadine went through this hell."

Bucky said nothing at his pause. To be frank, he still didn't know how to call Nadine. His girlfriend, he supposed? They hadn't talked about it.

He sighed deep, leaning against the wall. He closed his eyes for a second, willing his body to calm down a bit. He wasn't going to succeed much if he let his anxiety get the best of him. "This is a nightmare," Bucky muttered as he looked at his best friend.

"I know," he replied, a bit dejected. Bucky knew that though he empathized greatly and understood the severity, Steve also wished he could do more, but didn't know how to. He didn't go through what Bucky did. Hell, he didn't go through what Nadine had gone through.

Steve's eyes lit up for a second as he looked past Bucky. He got off of the wall and patted his shoulder, a signal for him to follow. Bucky narrowed his eyes in suspicion, but he relented and decided to follow his lead. When he turned, Steve was catching up to Shuri. After a few minutes, both of them met Bucky halfway.

"I will take you to her," Shuri announced, a small smirk dancing across her young face. And before Bucky could respond, she turned and walked away.

"Go," Steve said softly. He gave him another pat, this one of encouragement. "Go see her."

He didn't hesitate to follow the princess as she led him down the hallway. She didn't lead him that far, really, and soon enough, Bucky stood in front of the door. His hand hovered over the sensor, but something was stopping him from swiping it.

"What is wrong?" Shuri asked, raising an eyebrow curiously at him.

"I don't know," he confessed. He didn't know what was going on. Nadine was right there, through that door. Why was he hesitating?

The princess analyzed him, like a program she was trying to break into. "You are scared of what you'll find, or that she would not want you there?"

"I don't know," he said again, and he wasn't lying. He didn't know. Maybe it was both. Maybe he was scared that she would rebuff him for everything he did to find her. Maybe she was so tortured that she wouldn't recognize anyone. Maybe she wouldn't survive. The possibilities were endless and it overwhelmed his very soul.

Regardless, he wouldn't know until she was right back in his reach.

He swiped the sensor and the door slid open, immediately catching his breath at the sight of Nadine on the bed. Her hands were wrapped in gauze and had bandages on her fingertips. The swelling on her lip and eye looked better, but her bruising remained the same. Someone had brushed her hair and tied it into a braid, but it lacked the shine that it once had. She was a pale, unconscious being, unrecognizable in comparison to the lively woman he knew, but Nadine all the same. Bucky sat beside her bed and carefully touched her fingers. The rough texture of the bandages were nothing like her calloused touch of her hand, but it was doing wonders to calm his worry. "I'm here, draga mea."

The words quietly slipped out of him, but they didn't feel foreign on his tongue. It fit what she meant to him. He felt a presence by the door. Fong, leaning against the wall as he observed him. "That's a beautiful phrase."

"You know Romanian?" Bucky asked, slightly incredulous but not really surprised.

"A little," he chuckled, but it didn't quite reach his eyes. He slowly made his way towards the other side of Nadine's bed. "Shuri told me she brought you here."

Bucky's attention turned back towards Nadine. He had no idea what to say. His mind rattled with an immeasurable amount of guilt, but also relief that they were in the same room again.

"Do not let your actions drown you, Bucky," Fong said, seemingly reading his thoughts. "Those burdens can break you beyond repair."

"I know," Bucky whispered, more to himself than to Fong. "I just... I don't want this to be my life, all the time."

Fong shook his head. "It won't be. I have faith that you will find the life you want."

"Do you regret it?" Bucky asked, glancing at the katana still strapped to Fong's back.

"No," he replied. His dark eyes held a mixture of pain and certainty. No regret. "I will fight for these kids until my very last breath."

Bucky observed him. There was something deeper in that statement that he couldn't pinpoint, so he made a mental note to try to get to know Fong more. Hopefully, he would eventually understand the man behind the wise musings.

Suddenly, Nadine's hand twitched, and Bucky's heart almost fell out of his chest as he waited for something to happen. "Did you see that?"

"Yes," Fong confirmed, already standing up. His gaze was focused on Nadine in case of any sign of trouble. Nadine's brows scrunched up for a second, before her eyes fluttered open.

"Nadine?" he asked, softly, but loud enough that he hoped she'd register. Her eyes were half open, dazed still from all the sedatives, but she turned her head towards him.

"I'm going to go get the doctor," Fong said, quickly leaving the room, but Bucky barely paid attention to what he said. His eyes were locked on Nadine as she seemed to ward off the sedatives, blinking hard in order to fully open her eyes and look around the room.

"You're safe, Nadine," he reassured, almost fully grabbing her hand to give it a squeeze but stopping himself midway. He settled instead for simply lying his hand on top, so she knew his presence was there and it wasn't another dream.

"Safe," she muttered, clearly not fully awake, but enough to register what was going on. "James?"

"I'm here, I'm not going anywhere."

She'd closed her eyes again, her brows relaxing as she did so. For a second, Bucky assumed she'd fallen asleep again, his head lowering as he felt tears well up in his eyes at the sheer relief at hearing her voice. He almost didn't pick up the slurred "love you" that escaped her lips.

The words made him crumble, almost sobbing into his hand before he controlled himself. The doctors had instructed that these first few moments needed to be careful, because they didn't know how she'd react. They needed to follow her lead, he knew, though it'd be difficult to do so when all he wanted was to have her in his arms again.

But despite the pain and the yearning, Bucky brushed away his tears in order to look at her. Nadine fell asleep once more, but he stood and leaned over to place a light kiss on her forehead, whispering with all the love he could muster: "I love you too, and I'm here. I'm not going anywhere."