Alex

Dear Nobody,

            Today, I met a boy—a cute boy. A boy who's almost too cute to keep in the friend zone, but I'm sticking to my single and lonely guns. No crushing. No flirting. Just friends.  He tried to ask me for my phone number earlier and totally failed. Some girls like guys who are always on their A-game. I prefer the C and D-listers. They're awkward, shy, and completely hopeless at picking up girls which makes them even more likable. Fact.

         Kai's probably an E-lister at best, so instead of embarrassing him in front of Caleigh and Tanner, I kept things diplomatic and gave him my email instead. He hugged me for it. I can't say I've ever been hugged for giving out my email before, but it was a nice first. A really nice first, but don't tell anybody I said that.

            -Alex

                                                               ***

So, everything I ever read in magazines or saw on TV about LA nightlife was a total lie. I learned this the hard way. Despite Elias's drama, I figured the second Caleigh, Tanner, and I left the hospital we'd head straight to Hollywood, eat at a trendy restaurant, stare at a couple celebrities, and go home satisfied. Tanner said we were going to one of the hottest spots in L.A. to celebrate my first night, so naturally, I was stoked.

I even spent a good twenty minutes, twenty minutes, which is longer than I ever spend on make-up, trying to fix my face in the back of his car. Do you know how hard it was to apply movie star make-up on the 405 freeway?

Impossible.

But I nailed it, only to have my Youtube-worthy skills dashed when we pulled into In-N-Out's parking lot for dinner. If this was the hottest spot in L.A., then I was Paris Hilton. And Paris Hilton sucked.

Last time I visited, Caleigh and I did all the cool touristy stuff--Disneyland, Magic Mountain, the works. But I figured this time around, I'd graduated from basic tourist to too-cool-for-school semi-native who got an all access pass to the best hangouts in the city. Obviously, I was wrong.

            "Alex, are you cool with just doing drive through, tonight? Me and Caleigh are kinda tired," Tanner said.

The hell they were.

The whole car ride over they'd been subtly getting away with hanky-panky like I wasn't sitting in the back. Anytime we hit a stoplight, Tanner would reach over and squeeze Caleigh's thigh, or poke her 'til she'd turn up the radio so I wouldn't hear her giggling.

Believe me, I heard it all—the laughing, the flirting, the disgustingly cute happiness everyone else in the universe seemed to be able to find--except me.  I loved them both, but subjecting me to an hour of PG-13 foreplay was not the ideal ending to my night.

            "No problem. What are you guys getting?" I asked.

Nobody heard me. Somewhere in between me figuring out my order and mildly hating them for outdoing most Disney couples, they'd started making out. Okay, not full on tonsil hockey but close enough to gross me out.

I sat through a whole lot of pecking, smiling, and giggling. If I ever did date anyone again, I'd never be this cutesy out of consideration for the sanity of all the single bystanders. Fact.

            "Sorry, Lex, what were you saying?" Caleigh asked.

Her hair had turned into an atom bomb. Something about the way Tanner handled her made her look like she'd survived an explosion. I'd survived an atom bomb of a boy too, except his explosions weren't romantic, they were scary.

            "Did you guys just want me to run inside and order? I need some air anyway," I said.

Tanner slapped me a high five before turning into the nearest free parking space.

            "Did I mention that I liked you, Alex? Seriously, if me and Caleigh don't work out, let's date."

A very small, very girly part of me wanted to go screaming to the mountaintops when he said that. Obviously, he didn't mean it. He just liked the fact that I'd picked up on their not-so-subtle cue for some alone time. But still, getting a compliment from a guy as swoon-worth as Tanner was awesome.

I popped out of the car, ran across the parking lot, and nearly got clipped by not one but two sports-car driving assholes.

Even the seats outside In-N-Out were packed with ridiculously well-dressed kids about my age who rocked the hell out of burger joint fashion.

Back east, people didn't dress up to eat ketchup and mustard-covered patties. We dressed up for special occasions, but I guess every occasion was a special occasion in L.A.

I looked like crap.

The sideways stares and occasional whispers I got confirmed that my fashion choices were closer to a Midwest mom than Universal City chic. Whatever. At least my make-up looked awesome.

The line inside was at least fifteen people long—something Caleigh and Tanner would be ecstatic about given the wait time. I reached for my phone and tapped open my latest game of Plants vs. Zombies. If I had to stand in a sea of judgment for fifteen minutes, the least I could do was kill zombies to pass the time.

            "Hey, stalker."

I didn't know which came first, the undeniably sexy voice or the undeniably sexy hand on my shoulder. Didn't seem to matter because I was too flustered to think straight.

            "Hey, Kai."

He looked even better in fluorescent lighting. Noone looks good in fluorescent lighting unless you're a celebrity—or Kai. He ran a hand through his distractingly well-styled hair and flashed me the kind of grin I'm pretty sure he knew was deadly to seventeen-year-old girls.

            "Looks like we had the same idea for late night dinner. Great minds," he said.

            Great smile.

            "Do you live around here?" I asked.

            Wow. Way to sound like a creep, Alex.

            "Yeah, I've got a place over in North Hollywood. How about you?"

He had his own place? I could get into older guys. Rory could hardly clean his own room much less handle his own place. Definitely a plus in the maturity department.

            "I'm staying with my cousin and her boyfriend in Studio City," I said.

            "No way. That nearly makes us neighbors. How much do you know about the area?"

            "I know there are a lot of palm trees."

He broke out into a hearty laugh the same way he had back at the hospital. My stomach did somersaults.

            "Well, if you're okay with it, I could show you around sometime."

He was getting good at sneaking the I'm-almost-but-not-quite-asking-you-out card into our conversations. I was getting worse at dodging his attempts.

            "Like a tour guide?" I asked.

            "Tour guide?"

            "Yeah, you could be my friendly neighborhood tour guide," I said. He shot me the kind of look most people reserve for crazies. Fair game. I sounded like a whack job.

            "Sure, but if I'm gonna be your 'friendly neighborhood tour guide', I'm gonna need your number."

The un-suave version of Kai must've died somewhere between here and the hospital, because the way he was asking this time had me ready to throw my phone number and quite possibly myself in his direction.

            "Fine, just promise me you won't turn out to be a psycho," I said.

            "Do I look like a psycho to you?"

Not at all. He looked like the artsy version of a Greek god with perfectly full lips and an unreal jawline. I was the crazier of the two of us because I couldn't trust myself. The first guy I ever liked ruined me so who's to say a potential second wouldn't do the same thing.

At the end of the day, when it came to Rory, I ignored the warning signs. I just fell for a pretty face. I followed my heart, and it ended up in worse shape than my wrist.

            "I'm sorry. I just—"

            "Have trust issues?" he asked.

            "A little bit."

            "My ex-girlfriend had trust issues too."

            "Is that why she's your ex?"

            "No, she cheated on me."

            "You're kidding," I said.

            "Nope. That definitely was the most ironic relationship I've ever been in."

We scooted up a couple places in line. We'd been touching arms for the last seven minutes. I counted.

            "Well, my last relationship was psychotic, so I kinda suck at the trusting thing."

Why was I telling him this? For all I knew, he could've been one of those guys who does this with loads of girls, or flirts the first day and disappears the second. Ninety percent of the time, a guy this good looking turns out to be a douchebag. I'd stopped believing in the magical 10% a long time ago.

            "Think about it this way, Alex. Do you trust the burger guy behind the counter?"

            "What?"

            "Do you trust him? For all you know, he could sprinkle some rat poison in your lettuce and it's curtains for you, all because you put your life in his hands."

            "Yeah, but the chances of that happening are slim to none."

            "Exactly. And what about you? How does he know that when you hand him your credit card that it's really yours? You could be one of those identity theft masterminds."

            "That's ridiculous."

            "See my point? You should be more trusting of people. My dad walked out on my mom, my ex cheated on me, does that mean I should just stop trusting everybody because I had a couple bad experiences?"

He was right. I hated that he was right, but it's hard to hate someone that attractive and witty when they're invading your personal space. Not that I didn't like him invading my personal space, but it definitely made it harder to concentrate.

            "Though, I will say, you'd a make pretty hot mastermind," he said.

Did he call me hot? I definitely thought I heard the word hot. Maybe I was hallucinating. I glanced up at his face. He'd turned bright red. Awkwardly flirty Kai had returned—and he thought I was hot.

Un-freaking-believable.

We placed our orders without saying much else to each other. He spent an inordinate amount of time at the fountain drinks working on the perfect mix of pink lemonade and iced tea while I stuffed as many ketchup packets into my pockets as possible.

Bet those skinny-jean-wearing morons outside couldn't do that. Kai moseyed his way back over to me, completely absorbed in his phone. I totally knew that move—instant solution to an awkward situation--evasion.

            "Is that Plants vs. Zombies?" I asked.

            "How'd you know?"

            "First of all, I'm not only a hot mastermind of identity theft, I'm also a totally smokin' Plants vs. Zombies guru."

His face flushed pink.

            "I'm sorry I said that. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable," he said.

I liked a man who could apologize. Rory never did.

            "It's all good. But promise me you'll get better at pick up lines."

          "Sure, if you help me. You could be my, friendly neighborhood flirt coach, and I'll teach you how to get better at the whole trusting thing while I show you around the city. Deal?"

He extended a hand, but given my luck, this probably was a trap. Those eyes, that hair, that smile—definitely a trap. But apparently my body didn't give a damn because before I knew it we were shaking hands.

I lost it a little bit when his fingers lingered around mine for an extra second or two. I stood helpless as he melted his way out of the friend zone without so much as batting an eyelash.  

            Forty-eight hours ago, I swore off boys for the summer.

            No guys. No drama. Simple.

            Forty-eight seconds ago, Kai ruined everything.

            This was one for the books.

                                                                          ***

Dear Nobody,

            Today, I met the fourth horseman of the apocalypse. His name is Kai.

S.O.S

            -Alex.