sorry for such a long wait i got super busy with school (finals) and havent had time to write more chapters in advance. also happy holidays!!

——

Neigh-WHORES

Pasta: hey guys!! hope ur enjoying your trip, just wondering if its alright if i move some furniture in your place for a couple days, i have some maintenance guys coming to fix a couple lights so i need to move some stuff out

Pasta: ik you gave me a key just in case but i didnt want to do anything without your permission!!

Pasta: oh and ive been watering your plant like you asked brian!!

Terroriser: hey pasta, thanks for watering the plant. you can def leave the furniture there

Terroriser: you can put it in my room/spare room (last door on the left) in case you have to leave it longer too

Pasta: omg THANK YOUUUUU

Pasta: hope im not interrupting anything!!!

Terroriser: nah ur good ev is just taking a nap and i am at the store buying some snacks

Terroriser: his family only has healthy snacks idk how they do it

Pasta: ughhh i hate when that happens like sometimes i just NEED one of those cheese ball jars yk

Pasta: also im gonna have a close friend help me move the furniture if thats alright? i promise not to snoop through anything!! i can even send a pic of his id if u need it

Terroriser: no its okay we trust you

Terroriser: you should have enough room i think theres just a bed and maybe a desk in there? but lmk

Terroriser: also jesus we dont need his id wtf??

Pasta: i just feel weird bc ur not here and im just barging into your home

Pasta: but thank you this takes off so much stress i wasnt sure where i was gonna put some of this stuff

Terroriser: np

Pasta: also is evan doing alright?? i was so worried when i saw him in crutches

Terroriser: yeah hes been taking it easy the whole trip and ive been helping whenever he needs so it works out

Pasta: you guys have such a good relationship omg

Pasta: all MY previous roommates would feed me to a pack of hungry wolves just for a slice of cold pizza but you two are always helping one another its so sweet

Terroriser: wait pasta

Terroriser: you do know evan and i are dating right??

Pasta: YALL ARE DATING???

Pasta: man i gotta start assuming more istg

Pasta: wait this changes everything actually

Pasta: WAIT NOW I FEEL WORSE FOR INTRUDING IN YOUR HOME

Terroriser: pasta its totally fine i promise

Pasta: omg i feel so dumb everything is making so much more sense now

Terroriser: evan is going to laugh at this when he wakes up later

Pasta: OH NO IVE EMBARRASSED MYSELF IN FRONT OF YOUR COOL BOYFRIEND IM DEVASTATED

Terroriser: so im not cool???

Pasta: i love both of yall but i feel like since im always talking to you that evan is just cool and mysterious yk like no offense to you or anything

Terroriser: idk how i keep having this conversation with people

Pasta: IM SORRY I THINK UR BOTH COOL EVAN IS JUST MORE MYSTERIOUS HES LIKE AURAFARMING OR SOMETHING

Terroriser: aura what

Pasta: aurafarming?? yk

Terroriser: what the hell is that

Pasta: im getting more humiliated with every sentence i type

Pasta: so thank you so much for letting me use your spare room and i hope you have a wonderful trip full of romance and laughter and joy

Pasta: so im going to go before i need to throw myself off the roof

Terroriser: evan would want to watch if you did that

—

Fuck Witcha

Terroriser: can someone explain what "aurafarming" means

Moo: bro what the hell

WildHoe: we dont hear from you for days and this is what you come back with??? think you need some more time away

Terroriser: okay fuck you

Terroriser: and seriously what does it mean

WildHoe: fuck if i know

Four07: where did you even hear that

Terroriser: my neighbor :/

Terroriser: we went away for a few days so i asked her to water my plants and then she asked if she could store some of her furniture at our place since she's have maintenance come over to fix some of her electric stuff

Four07: where the fuck did you go

DaithiDeNoPrivilege: dont tell him he'll probably book a ticket and get in bed with you

Terroriser: evan had planned to visit his family and i came along bc hes in crutches rn

Terroriser: he said he wouldve rescheduled the trip but he has a bunch of work stuff coming up and this was the best time so ofc i came with

Jon: YOU GUYS ARE IN CANADA????

Kryoz: bros acting like hes gonna get back with evan

Jon: im very happy i dont need him

Kryoz: okay buddy

DaithiDeNoPrivilege: ^^^

Fitz: okay someone in this gc is coping im just not sure who it is

Kryoz: bro thinks hes doakes

WildHoe: who??

Kryoz: from dexter

Kryoz: ofc you wouldnt get it

Moo: john has been swinging these days

Kryoz: if i dont swing at someone then im giving them the chance to swing at me first

Terroriser: yeah so we'll be in canada for maybe like another week then we have to get back bc ev has work

Kryoz: where IS evan

Terroriser: yk him hes been sleeping a LOT
idk what it is

Kryoz: hes just a sleepy guy

Terroriser: hes always complaining about the crutches too

RoastMasterV2: i am NOT a baby wtf

RoastMasterV2: i cant always be on my phone i have a life

RoastMasterV2: i take naps bc im busy and im trying to stay off my phone bc i dont want to msg my coworkers about the conference i have in a few weeks

RoastMasterV2: i just want to collect their overtime and be done with it

Fitz: "i have a life" says the guy with a broken leg

RoastMasterV2: its a sprained ankle

RoastMasterV2: now if you'll excuse me i have a deal to make with the devil

Terroriser: isnt he just so fun

Moo: oh god brian we have to get you OUT of there hes corrupting you

Terroriser: dont save me im exactly where i want to be

—

YIKES

Moo: kinda getting a love struck vibe from brian idk tho

Kryoz: you gotta stop meddling in other peoples business dude

Moo: im gonna get into your business just for that

Kryoz: do it and die brother

Kryoz: im locking up the house

WildHoe: the nut house? makes sense

Kryoz: im actually working on being a better person so im not gonna comment on how ironic your comment is OR tell you to eat shit and choke on it and instead im gonna tell you that that wasnt nice and i didnt appreciate the sentiment.

WildHoe: thanks?

Kryoz: i love that you took that as a compliment

Jon: guys crazy concept but people can move on

Moo: is it so WRONG to want them back together i thought they were perfect

Moo: and the other alternative is well

WildHoe: ???

Kryoz: so it would seem that the one with secrets here is actually YOU brock

Fitz: spill

Moo: i dont think i could say

Kryoz: oh shit he really DOES have tea

WildHoe: suddenly im invested

Moo: ok well ill tell you without the details ig

Kryoz: BOOOOOOOOOOO

Fitz: TOMATO TOMATO

Moo: guys i cant tell you everything bc its not my shit to tell

Moo: but i mean everyone is probably gonna find out soon anyway

Kryoz: you MOTHERFUCKER HOW DO YOU KNOW ABOUT THAT

Fitz: KNOW ABOUT WHAT.

Kryoz: calm down its not about you

Moo: YOU KNOW ABOUT IT??? who told you

Kryoz: WHO TOLD YOU??

Moo: wait are we even talking about the same thing

Kryoz: does your thing involve two people (WHO WE ALL KNOW) who have possibly (definitely) decided to end things between them

Moo: HOW DO YOU KNOW

Kryoz: SCOTT TOLD ME

Kryoz: HOW DO YOU KNOW

Moo: DAVID TOLD ME

Kryoz: FUCK

WildHoe: what is HAPPENING

Fitz: dude shut up im getting invested

Kryoz: david and scott broke up

Moo: its more like scott DUMPED DAVID???

Moo: because SCOTT STILL LIKES EVAN.

Kryoz: ok fuck you theres a LOT more nuance to it than just that

Kryoz: but that is part of it so fair play

Moo: THEY WERE TOGETHER FOR YEARS AND SCOTT DUMPED HIM.

Moo: WHAT ELSE IS THERE

Fitz: yeah i think i need to hear this nuance

Kryoz: okay well i cant say EVERYTHING bc theres a lot of things in motion rn

Kryoz: but scott told ME that he has been reflecting a lot on the relationships he sees around him and it led him to think about his OWN relationship and he decided to end things

Moo: see why are you just saying a whole lot of nothing

Kryoz: FUCK YOU WHAT WERE YOU GONNA SAY

Moo: would it be crazy to mastermind scott and evan together

WildHoe: just say you wanna resurrect the throuple atp

Moo: i feel like if we tried that itd turn into a foursome thing bc of jon

Fitz: okay add jon then

Fitz: we need something to be happening

Kryoz: guys idk about you but ME?? im not touching evans relationship status with a fifty foot pole

Kryoz: besides it would never work evan does NOT want that man back

Moo: i might fuck around anyway

Kryoz: nah mate ur gonna find out fr

WildHoe: mate???

Fitz: he spends a lot of time talking to my roommates

Kryoz: theres a non-zero chance that one of them is the love of my life

Kryoz: i like those odds

Moo: you are just DRENCHED in desperation arent you

Kryoz: my parents divorced (evan and brian broke up) and then i lost my mind

Fitz: why do you act like they broke up with YOU

Kryoz: everyone is breaking up and its starting to seem like love just doesnt exist

Kryoz: and brock i hate to say it but you might be next

Moo: hey so this isnt actually about me

WildHoe: oh so youre hiding something

Kryoz: PH GOD NSOOA

Kryoz: YOUVEW ALREADY BROEKS UP

Fitz: actually speaking of breakups

Fitz: JOHN STOP FLIRTING WITH MY MAN IN THE GC

Kryoz: AND HOW MUCH LONGER IS HE YOUR MAN FOR??

Kryoz: i cant help it if he wants me im IRRESISTIBLE motherfucker

Fitz: OHHHHH ISTG

Fitz: i will fly back there and eat you ALIVE

Kryoz: AGAIN??

Fitz: FUCK YOU

Kryoz: eh it didnt happen QUITE like that

WildHoe: WAIT WHATTTTTTTTTT

Fitz: IM GOING TO KILL YOU

Kryoz: get in LINEEEEEEE

Kryoz: you think youre the only little bitch ive pissed off???

WildHoe: wait can we circle back to YOU TWO FUCKING???

Moo: GUYS

Moo: marcel dumped me