THREE AMIGOS!!!

RoastMasterV2: okay listen up fuckers

RoastMasterV2: john i know you dont have a headache or are sleeping or whatever bullshit

RoastMasterV2: swagger go into the fucking room and sit on your bed

RoastMasterV2: i will be up there in five fucking minutes and together we are going to sort this shit out once and for all alright?

RoastMasterV2: it's not even been two days and you've already fucked it so hard im shocked one of you hasnt gotten another room already

RoastMasterV2: we are going to get this settled before the induction dinner tonight or else

RoastMasterV2: do i make myself clear?

RoastMasterV2: okay one of you has to speak im not above doing something drastic and fair warning im already kinda on edge

Kryoz: i agree king we will sort this shit out im gonna wait for you on the floor here

Swagger: dude you dont have to be on the floor wtf

Swagger: yes evan you've made yourself clear

—

Now showing private messages between RoastMasterV2 and Terroriser

RoastMasterV2: i have to go to fix johns love life apparently

Terroriser: yikes

Terroriser: that bad?

RoastMasterV2: swagger messaged me personally asking for advice

RoastMasterV2: and apparently hes been telling everyone here that john is his boyfriend

Terroriser: AFTER ALL THEY DID WAS KISS AND NEVER TALK ABOUT IT AGAIN???

Terroriser: balls

Terroriser: fucking loser, but he has balls ill give him that

RoastMasterV2: so i am going up to their room to mitigate this shit and hopefully it doesnt take all day so that we can just relax before dinner

Terroriser: isnt the dinner like super late tonight?

RoastMasterV2: 8pm is a perfectly normal dinner time darling

Terroriser: yeah but we just finished brunch and its only like 12:45 how long could this possibly take

Terroriser: they should just fuck about it

RoastMasterV2: for once i agree

RoastMasterV2: yk idk how i always end up playing fucking matchmaker or whatever

RoastMasterV2: fuck why am i so stressed

Terroriser: probably having to be around your coworkers

RoastMasterV2: everything just feels so shitty all the time

RoastMasterV2: except you ofc

Terroriser: ik im sorry ev :(

Terroriser: but hopefully this thing will sort itself out, you just need to babysit a little

RoastMasterV2: did you hear that there's gonna be a few new hires at dinner? like ones that have been hired under the new merger entirely rather than from one company or another

Terroriser: when would they have the time to do that?

RoastMasterV2: idk

RoastMasterV2: okay im going up to their room now

RoastMasterV2: hopefully ill see you soon?

RoastMasterV2: love you. more than anything

Terroriser: i love you too

—

LOCATION: Hotel Room

TIME: 12:53 P.M

"Alright, let's get this over with." Evan said, storming into the room as soon as John opened the door for him. "First of all, sit on the same fucking bed. Jesus." He muttered the last part under his breath, pinching the bridge of his nose. There was a series of shuffling as the two moved to the bed that was closest to the window, where Evan was pacing. "Look, I don't want to babysit you, or whatever the fuck this is, but we need to nip this shit in the bud, okay? You," he pointed at John, "have something to tell Swagger, right? Spit it out."

John took a deep breath, avoiding eye contact and instead studying the backs of his hands. "Before you kissed me, I already was planning on going out with Cam. I know it's awkward, but the two of us had already been seeing each other and it'd be stupid to say that there wasn't any feelings behind it. Not to say I didn't enjoy our kiss, but I already have something going on."

"You done?" John nodded. "Okay, Swagger, do you have anything to say? Or confess?"

"I know you two planned something." Swagger looked up, staring at John's side profile. "After I kissed you...I called Cam to break up with him. Naturally, it didn't really go well."

John's head shot up. "You did?"

Swagger nodded. "Yeah. I...I know it's a totally fucked situation, and originally I just invited you as a way to get back at him, but...you're a really great guy, you know that? You're honest, and kind, and funny, and the little time I've spent with you has been nothing short of great. It makes sense why Cam thought so, too. And, of course, why he beat me to the punch. That was not a pleasant phone call."

"Seemed like it was stressful. I saw you through the window."

"I figured you did. I'm sorry. I kinda left you hanging, and then I never even brought it up. That wasn't right. Especially since I've been dragging you along and forcing you to interact with my coworkers. Even the one standing right in this room. I hope I didn't make you uncomfortable."

John shook his head. "No, it was okay. I was kinda freaking out about my own stuff anyway. Sorry about your breakup. I know it wasn't something you wanted to do over the phone."

Evan sat on the bench next to where the TV was, holding his phone in his hand but looking between the both of them. He longed to go back to his room and curl up in bed, his misery was sinking into his bones.

"We didn't break up."

The admission sat in the air for a while, both Evan and John rendered speechless as they stared at Swagger. John's eyes holding a note of heartache and shock whereas Evan's just looked surprised. This might end up being a longer conversation than he had originally thought. Things might get ugly.

"I wanted to, so bad, because none of this is fair to anyone and things just needed to be over." Swagger sighed, his shoulders visibly loosening as if a weight was being lifted off of him. "But we spent probably hours on that phone call, hashing it all out. He was mad, I was mad, and it sucked. He cried. I cried. But, by the end of it, we realized that we had something in common, so it was not a breakup." He looked at John now, sadness buried in his eyes. "I can tell he really cares about you, John."

There was something in John's eyes that seemed hauntingly familiar to Evan, and he felt a pit of dread in his stomach as he realized maybe it would've been better to let the two keep dancing around the subject. It was becoming abundantly clear how complicated it was.

"Then why the fuck are you going around telling people I'm your boyfriend!" John was standing now, causing Evan to tense at the sudden movement. He was still just watching. "You are so fucking confusing. I have an affair with your boyfriend- which is super wrong and fucked up of me and I'm sorry- and you invite me on this trip, kiss me, tell people I'm your boyfriend, but you stay together with your actual boyfriend? Is this like some fucked up revenge plot or something? Because I don't like it!" There was a wetness to John's voice that set off an alarm bell in Evan's head. "I'd rather you just send me home than humiliate me. You think I don't have enough disasters in my life already?" Something flickers across his face. "You're both in on it, aren't you? You and Cam."

Swagger was sitting with his mouth open, unable to form the right words as John tried not to break down completely. He saw Evan looking between the two of them, trying to decide if he should intervene or not. That's not true, he said wanted to say, but the words wouldn't leave his head. That's not true at all, we want to be with you.

"Unbelievable." John shook his head, turning to leave.

Evan abruptly stood, hurrying over to whisper something to John. "Where are you going?"

"I don't know. I'll still go to the dinner tonight, and if Swagger wants to parade me around at events that's fine. I don't want to hurt his career, but I can't stay here right now."

Swagger watched them leave, Evan's hand hovering over John's back as he guided him out the door, barely sparing him another glance. He was kicking himself internally, cursing himself for not saying the things he actually wanted to say. He had fucked up.

—

Now showing private messages between Fitz and Kryoz

Fitz: hey

Fitz: swags said you guys tried to talk?

Kryoz: oh fuck you asshole

Fitz: woah

Kryoz: i know exactly what's happening here and even if i deserve it it's still not cool

Kryoz: im a person too

Fitz: what exactly did he say to you?

Kryoz: he said enough

Kryoz: i know you two didn't break up, and probably never will

Kryoz: Im really sorry for meddling in your relationship, it wont happen again

Fitz: john you didnt even hear him out

Fitz: i promise you he had more to say

Kryoz: i dont want to hear it. ill do this trip and help him out because i feel really bad about what we did, but after that im done

Kryoz: ill leave your roommates gc and everything can go back to how it was

Kryoz: im sorry

Fitz: john

Fitz: john talk to me

Fitz: john i promise its not like that

—

Now showing private messages between RoastMasterV2 and Terroriser

RoastMasterV2: johns sleeping in our room tonight

Terroriser: fuck

Terroriser: that bad?

RoastMasterV2: are you in the room? we're on our way

RoastMasterV2: i honestly dont know what to say

Terroriser: yeah im here

Terroriser: what happened?

RoastMasterV2: it started off normal enough, john told swagger he had a date with cam after the two of them broke up

RoastMasterV2: swagger said he knew, he kinda developed a crush on john during the small time he's known him, and said that after he kissed john he actually called cam to break up with him then and there

Terroriser: oh fuck

RoastMasterV2: but they didn't break up

RoastMasterV2: and now swagger is just parading john around and calling him his boyfriend

Terroriser: oh john

Terroriser: is he going home?

RoastMasterV2: john said he'll stay for now because he feels really bad about the thing with cam, but idk if that means the whole trip or not

Terroriser: damn

Terroriser: i cant believe swagger is such an asshole

RoastMasterV2: i told you my coworkers are terrible

RoastMasterV2: but idk bc swagger told me some stuff and it seemed true but after that convo i just dont know

RoastMasterV2: my head feels all messed up but i cant deal with that rn i have to help john

Terroriser: is it your meds? ik ur taking them but are they wrong? do we need a higher dosage? maybe your doctor can do an emergency sesh over the phone

RoastMasterV2: i dont know

RoastMasterV2: im just trying to stay calm right now

RoastMasterV2: okay im gonna send john to the room alone bc fucking swagger is calling me

Terroriser: you dont have to answer it

RoastMasterV2: i might as well though

-

LOCATION: Stairwell

TIME: 1:26 P.M.

"What the fuck is your problem?" Evan hissed into the phone as soon as he stepped into the stairwell. "What happened to that thing you wanted to ask him?"

"I tried! The words wouldn't come out!" Swagger let out a muffled cry. "That wasn't how it was meant to go. He hates me now, and he's going home isn't he? Fuck!"

Evan took a deep breath. "He's not going home. He feels really bad about everything with Cam, so he'll finish the trip as an apology. Maybe he'll go back to your room."

"Evan, you know that what he thinks isn't true, right? I promise! It's not about revenge or whatever, I actually have feelings for him! Cam too! You know that, I'm not lying to you! Honest!"

"I want to believe you. But, John is my friend, Swagger, and you didn't do yourself any favors. He's really upset, and that makes me upset, so it's hard to believe you right now. Especially since I told you stuff that was personal."

"I know. And I haven't told anyone, okay? I won't! All the things I didn't say today is on me and my stupid mouth, okay? Look, I know it's hard to believe but I was being sincere. You have to trust me."

"If you're being serious, then I'll try to find you a chance to talk to him. Properly. But if you fuck it up again, I can't help you. And I'm only doing this because John is really hurting right now, but...I guess you're kind of my friend, too."

-

HelpMate

Swagger: GUYS ITS ALL FUCKED IM SO FUCKED IT ALL SUCKS EVERYTHING IS TERRIBLE I JUST WANT TO KILL MYSELF TO MAKE THE PROBLEM GO AWAY

iMat: WTF

Tobi: mate what goes on

Zuckles: aw cmon swags it cant be that bad

Jay: what happened?

iMat: wait guys what if he's killing himself

Swagger: i should

Swagger: my coworker was sick of seeing me and john avoid each other so he decided to mediate our conversation

iMat: that man doesnt get paid enough

Swagger: im pretty sure he's like the highest paid guy at the company

Swagger: thats besides the point

Swagger: so ive been telling people that john's my boyfriend all day

Tobi: YOUVE GOTTA BE KIDDING ME

Zuckles: guys its okay i bought edibles earlier just pull up

iMat: okay wait guys let him work maybe its like psychological warfare or reverse psychology idk what its called

Swagger: thats actually really hurtful what you just said

Swagger: so evan forced me to talk to john, like he sat there in our hotel room watching us

iMat: hot

iMat: okay besides the point

Swagger: so john said he was sorry about the cheating, but that he had a date planned with cam for after the trip...when cam and i break up

Jay: damn i cant believe cam has more balls than you

Zuckles: yeah if he wants something he just goes for it

Swagger: and so i told john that i invited him on this trip initially bc i wanted to get back at cam but then i kinda developed a crush or whatever for him but i was sorry for making him uncomfortable and telling people hes my boyfriend. its a bad spot to put someone in and i shouldnt have done it

Swagger: then i told him that cam and i didnt actually break up, and that i wanted to break up with him but then we were on the phone for hours just talking it out and we found common ground and didnt break up

Swagger: and i said that cam really cares about him

Tobi: okay so kind of a solid spot how did you fuck this up

iMat: idk man thats kind of bad phrasing like he had a date planned with cam for after you broke up and you kinda just shattered his world

Zuckles: why did you STOP THERE???? THAT WAS WHEN YOU KEEP GOING AND BRING UP A THREESOME

Swagger: I DONT KNOW WHY I STOPPED

Swagger: bc then john started yelling at me and asked why ive been telling my coworkers hes my boyfriend if i still HAVE a boyfriend and asks why the fuck i invited him on the trip, then kissed him, told people hes was my boyfriend and never broke up with my actual boyfriend

Swagger: he said he was sorry about the thing with cam but he didnt appreciate the psychological warfare, and said that if all this was just revenge then it was too far and he hated it

Swagger: he looked like he was trying not to cry

Swagger: and he said he'd rather i just send him home than humiliate him because he already has enough disasters in his life

Swagger: and i just wanted to scream at him and tell him it wasn't true, that i didnt do this for revenge or anything and that i meant what i said. i like him, and cam likes him, and if he'll have us we want to try being together. all three of us

Tobi: but he already left?

Swagger: i couldnt speak. i was so frozen in place and my mouth wasnt listening to my brain and i just sat there like a dumbass with my mouth open not saying anything so he and evan left

Swagger: as if i had just admitted to being a terrible person who just wanted to fuck with him

Swagger: and i called evan when i finally got some sense in me and he said that john is gonna still attend the events bc hes sorry for messing with my relationship but thats it

Swagger: he thinks im this terrible person now and he's still willing to help me out and come to events with me

Swagger: and evan thinks im awful too

Swagger: he thinks i made up all that shit about wanting to be with john AND cam and hes hurt bc he said personal stuff to me and it was like i threw it back in his face

Swagger: and i apologized over and over and begged him to just hear me out. im such a fucking coward

Swagger: evan said he might be able to get the two of us some alone time to fix this whole thing but idk when and whenever it will be is gonna be my last chance

Swagger: AND THEN EVAN SAID WE'RE LIKE KINDA FRIENDS

iMat: wow

Tobi: thats heavy dude

Zuckles: im really sorry mate thats awful

Swagger has sent 2 attachments.

Swagger: this is what cam texted me

Swagger: i told him it didnt go well wnd he texted john and thats what happened

Swagger: :( what do i do now

Jay: okay well

Zuckles: maybe you should write a letter

Zuckles: that way if you forget everything when you see him you can just give him the letter and everything will be clear

Swagger: he's not gonna read a letter if he's pissed at me

iMat: can't you just ask your coworker? he seems like a good guy, he'd probably help you out

Swagger: he said he'd be able to get john and i some alone time

iMat: does he have venmo? he's really not getting paid enough

Tobi: honestly lets get him in the chat he wouldnt bring us all this bullshit

Swagger: he might murder a man at dinner tonight he looked so fucking done when he was watching us talk

iMat: the fact that you keep saying he's scary yet all these stories you're telling us about are lowkey wholesome

Swagger: BECAUSE I BROUGHT HIS FRIEND AS MY DATE AND HE WILL KILL ME IF I DONT FIX IT

Swagger: and he'll kill me if i let that personal info slip

Zuckles: how do you keep doing this to yourself