in case its not obvious, this chapter is happening at the same time as the last chapter!

yall brians tomagachi life series has been consuming my life i lowkey forgot about this fic for like a week

—

LOVERBOYS!

Fitz: whats on the itinerary for today fuckers

Kryoz: oh so you want to break up

Swagger: loves of my life can we please not fight i am so exhausted by the past few days

Fitz: well considering what all john has been saying i cant say im surprised

Swagger: no its not that its the fact that the WHOLE WEEK has been nothing but DRAMA bro

Kryoz: dont bro me we've fucked

Fitz: yeah and also a good part of the drama was on YOU

Swagger: you know i have confrontation issues

Kryoz: yet you can talk to evan just fine despite always bitching about how scared of him you are??

Swagger: bc its scarier to think about what would happen if i avoided him

Swagger: and now im dating his best friend so i have to face my fears

Kryoz: im gonna tell him about this later

Kryoz: bc brian said not to bother them today and im ngl brian is kinda scary

Fitz: brian??? no way

Swagger: yeah brian is a teddy bear

Kryoz: you have NOT seen the real him

Kryoz: scott and i fear for our lives all the time

Kryoz: not actually btw no need to yell at poor brian hes like my father

Fitz: isnt he like a year or two older than you??

Kryoz: HE IS MY FATHER

Swagger: so your father is dating your best friend?

Kryoz: theyre like my parents

Fitz: wtf...

Kryoz: i cant explain this to you either you get it or you dont

Fitz: swags what the hell has he been saying to you...

Swagger: ive stopped trying to rationalize it because its hard enough to process that hes talking about my coworker

Fitz: well yeah but you know evan

Swagger: yes but not on the same level i know him now

Kryoz: hes been spiraling since evan said the two of them were friends

Fitz: yeah i think its hard for him to comprehend that evan isnt scary at all

Swagger: NO BUT HE IS

Kryoz: yeah evan is kinda scary

Kryoz: but also so full of whimsy and joy

Swagger: uh huh...

Fitz: anyways what are you doing today

Kryoz: theres a brunch spot i wanna go to AND an outlet mall a little bit outside the city so if swagger loves me he'll take me

Swagger: this is literally the first time im hearing about this

Kryoz: well you were supposed to read my mind

Kryoz: so what the fuck

Swagger: my fault

Fitz: i wish i was there

Kryoz: why dont u just come over so i have someone to hang out with once swags has to go back to his meetings and bullshit

Kryoz: id ask scotty but hes poor :(

Fitz: oh and im not?

Kryoz: you better not be

Swagger: he runs a tight ship

Kryoz: ur paying for evan and brians fancy ass dinner tonight and i havent even said anything about that

Swagger: its repayment for everything evans done for me (got me a chance to talk with you and get things right, even if i fucked it up the first time)

Kryoz: exactly and if swagger goes broke its up to you to support us cam

Fitz: thats a big responsibility isnt it

Swagger: oh so ur broke

Fitz: WTF

Fitz: nah ur spending too much time together why are you already talking like him...

Swagger: could be us but ur too broke to fly

Fitz: AINT NO WAY

Kryoz: its not his fault they dont let chickens into the airport unsupervised

Swagger: LMAOOOOOOOOOOO

Fitz: guys i cant just drop everything and hop on a flight

-

Now showing private messages between FuckBoi and Jon

FuckBoi: can we PLEASE just talk this out

Jon: i think you already said everything you needed to say

Jon: and why the hell are you texting me so early

FuckBoi: you being mad at me is legitimately ruining my sleep schedule

FuckBoi: please

FuckBoi: okay im really fucking sorry

FuckBoi: no i didnt invite you even tho i could have, and SHOULD HAVE, but i thought it'd be weird since i knew evan would be there and he was bringing brian

Jon: so you just dont mention it at all??

Jon: what if i really needed you

FuckBoi: you can always call me

Jon: so you really thought you could just avoid me for two weeks after i moved to be closer to you and we JUST had a conversation about working on our relationship?

FuckBoi: okay so i have terrible timing

Jon: youre just inconsiderate

Jon: and are proving exactly what is wrong with our relationship

Jon: we dont have good communication

FuckBoi: i will pay for your flight you can be here by tonight

Jon: i dont want to be an afterthought

Jon: everyone already knows you didnt invite me

Jon: hopping on a flight would just be damage control

FuckBoi: i want you here

Jon: oh so suddenly you want me there? because before this you were perfectly content to just be there by yourself

Jon: did you even tell anyone you had a boyfriend or do you just suck that badly at communicating

FuckBoi: please just come im looking at flights as we speak

Jon: no

FuckBoi: PLEASE

Jon: no im not fucking going lucas

Jon: i was serious earlier

Jon: if you dont want me there then im not going

Jon: and we're fucking done

FuckBoi: babe come on

Jon: no its over

FuckBoi: jon

Jon: i cannot believe i moved for you

Jon: or that i deluded myself into thinking this would actually work

Jon: and the AUDACITY you have to tell ME im not trying hard enough

Jon: un fucking believable

FuckBoi: jon wait

FuckBoi: babe please

FuckBoi: babe

—

Fuck Witcha

Moo: okay so like fr now

Four07: why is it always you texting first when youre the one whos always starting problems

Moo: im turning over a new leaf

Moo: youre right. i have been starting problems in this chat despite genuinely wanting to fix things and be one happy group again

Kryoz: ohhh so you finally got laid??

Fitz: oh he so did

WildHoe: have to agree there

Four07: omg

Four07: okay so like ur happy now but what happens when everyone gets on here

Lui: im here

BasicallyIGetFucked: here

DaithiDeNoPrivilege: why are we doing role call

Jon: unfortunately i am still here

Moo: what about Brian and Evan?

Kryoz: brian said they were gonna sleep all day so they probs wont be on

Moo: sleep ALL day?

Kryoz: they also might just not want to talk to us idk

Lui: okay so like we know why they wouldnt want to talk to brock but like what about the rest of us....

Four07: well i mean john has been a constant headache for evan this whole trip (and lowkey cam too if you think about it....) and idk the rest of us dont rlly talk in this chat anymore so

Jon: yeah this chat is dead

Jon: so is there a point here or

Kryoz: okay so another breakup has hit the chat

Fitz: why do u just say shit

Jon: did lucas tell you

Kryoz: THEY HATED JESUS BECAUSE HE TOLD THE TRUTHHHH

Kryoz: honestly i just guessed bc ik you had like problems but i wasnt sure if they were breakup worthy

Jon: i think the whole thing was a problem but that was just the nail in the coffin

Lui: wait what have we missed

BasicallyIGetFucked: so like jon and lucas were dating

Lui: smartass

Jon: lucas got hired at evans company and is on the trip as well, but he didnt tell me

Jon: or invite me to be his plus one because he thought id just throw myself at evan for no god damn reason

Jon: and apparently it was easier to just not tell me, his BOYFRIEND, that he skipped town for two weeks after i JUST moved here to be closer to him and he had gotten mad at me for not taking our relationship serious enough

Jon: which i understood and then realized i needed to be more serious so i was doing what was necessary to make that happen and then he does THIS

BasicallyIGetFucked: oh wow

Four07: oh thats harsh...

Jon: yeah so this was just the nail in the coffin

Jon: and he wanted to move in together...

Kryoz: oh shit

Kryoz: if it makes you feel better im pretty sure brian is gonna kill him

Moo: what did he do to brian?

Kryoz: brian didnt really explain tbh

Lui: oh so brian wants evan huh

BasicallyIGetFucked: nah i think hes still pissed off from when evan first moved in remember how crazy all that was? and they became roommates so brian probably heard all the drama and is holding a grudge

Four07: brian does tend to stand on business

Lui: more than evan??

Kryoz: evan has gotten more evil if anything he doesnt have time for such menial tasks

Jon: that only makes me feel slightly better bc hes not getting attention from evan bc he probably wants him or whatever

Jon: like what is wrong with him

Four07: idk

Kryoz: is it trauma from his last boyfriend being murdered

Fitz: is that the one that made him come to australia for a while? i didnt know he died

Kryoz: yeah it was this crazy thing in canda ill let u know later

Fitz: ohhhh that thing swagger was saying

Kryoz: yes exactly

Lui: i forgot you two are dating

Moo: so how did that happen btw

Kryoz: ohhhh

Fitz: its a long story

Kryoz: we were both staying at evan and brians old apt (before they moved) and they had gone to bed bc evan fucking knocked OUT during the movie so me and cam were sleeping in the living room

Fitz: holy yap

Kryoz: okay fuck you

Kryoz: basically he came onto me and we had a heavy makeout session on the couch

Kryoz: possible hand stuff

Fitz: definite hand stuff

Kryoz: then i like regained my sentience and realized maybe it wasnt a good idea to do that on evans couch (bc lets be real evan is the one whos decorating the apartment brian could live in a frat house and not gaf)

Fitz: yeah instead we just hooked up in brocks bathroom after craig attacked evan and those two went to the emergency room

Moo: WHY DOES SO MUCH HAPPEN IN THAT BATHROOM??????

Four07: its just got good ambiance idk...

Moo: YOU TOO???

Four07: woah the wind is crazy today

Fitz: yeah so then john and i planned to meet up a few more times, including me pushing my flight back a few days and staying at johns apartment after making brian drive me to the airport...

Jon: all while you were dating swagger??

Fitz: ok so yes

Kryoz: yeah wasnt my proudest moment either

BasicallyIGetFucked: so you cheated on your boyfriend with john and yet somehow someway all three of you end up dating??

Kryoz: yeah bc swagger found out and then out of spite invited ME on the trip instead of cam and like basically made it known that he was gonna break up with him he just wanted to do it in person

Kryoz: and then day one of the trip he got drunk and kissed me outside the elevator and basicallt blew up his life

Fitz: and he texted me to break up so then i called him and we argued for like hours bc i had already asked john out on a date for when swags finally dumped me but then we realized eventually that we both wanted john so like the obvious solution was a throuple

Kryoz: only swags is like awful at talking feelings and we both avoided talking about anything for like two or three days meanwhile he's introducing me as his boyfriend to literally ALL OF HIS COWORKERS????

Four07: LMAOOO I FORGOT ABOUT THAT

Lui: WTF...

Fitz: omg wait i didnt know that

Kryoz: not to mention he completely fumbled his first shot at confessing bc he made it seem like he was just leading me on for no reason bc him and cam didnt actually break up

WildHoe: so why are you dating him

Kryoz: bc it all worked out and its fine

Fitz: i think it worked out a little TOO well based off our gc

Moo: idk if i want to hear more about that or if i want to stay far away from it

Kryoz: its just our lovers gc nbd

Fitz: i thought we told you to stop calling it that??

BasicallyIGetFucked: wow so john is a FREAK is what ur saying

Fitz: oh he definitely is

Fitz: and its way worse than u think btw

Kryoz: just for that im not gonna do that thing i was talking about earlier now im just gonna do it with swags fuck u

Fitz: i take it all back john is an innocent soul

Lui: yeah this is getting a little too freaked out for me

Lui: also are we just gonna ignore how john said "canda" instead of "canada" earlier or

—

Now showing private messages between Four07 and Kryoz

Four07: hows ur day going

Kryoz: INCREDIBLE

Kryoz: we went to the CUTEST LITTLE BRUCNH SPOTE

Kryoz: NOW WE AT AN PUTLET MALAL

Four07: holy typo

Kryoz: we went to a cute brunch spot and then we drove to an outlet mall about an hour outside the city

Kryoz: and i think later swags wants to go rock climbing so maybe ill have dinner in the emergency room idk yet

Four07: rock climbing sounds fun

Kryoz: so you hate me and want me to die

Four07: thats a whole new sentence

Four07: you heard from evan and brian?

Kryoz: nope

Kryoz: and it is surprisingly difficult to not text them

Four07: oh fs

Four07: i almost texted the gc we have with brian and then his threat kept ringing in my head and i got scared

Kryoz: oh yeah same

Kryoz: bc i know what evan is capable of but ive yet to see what brian can do and THAT is terrifying

Four07: anyways r u sending me a haul later or do u hate me now

Kryoz: oh definitely i am making his pockets HURT today

Four07: honestly he deserves it after everything he put you through these past few days

Kryoz: U GET IT

—

Four07: yk ive yet to meet ur new man

Four07: obv i alr know cam but when r u introducing me to swagger

Kryoz: GASP

Kryoz: UR RIGHT YOU HAVE TO MEET HIM

Kryoz: if the camping trip ever happens ill drag him there #TRUST

Four07: bro i dont think thats ever happening

Four07: hell would literally have to freeze over for the beef in the gc to be completely gone

Kryoz: yeah idk if we can dispel the animosity between brock and evan

Four07: where do you hear this fuckass words

Kryoz: THEY ARE PERFECTLY NORMAL WORDS HAVE YOU CONSIDERED MAYBE UR JUST ILLITERATE

Four07: did you fall off the cliff while you were climbing or what

Kryoz: fuck you

Kryoz: its an INDOOR climbing facility thank you very much

Kryoz: and i only fell off the first one

Four07: isnt the first one usually for children?

Kryoz: ITS FOR BEGINNERS AND IT WAS MY FIRST TIME

Four07: keep telling yourself that

Kryoz: ur just bitter bc ur single and i have two hot rich boyfriends

Four07: isnt cam broke

Kryoz: richer than YOUR man

Four07: oh.

Four07: you got me there

Four07: hey do you think its weird that im friends with brian

Kryoz: why would it be weird

Four07: bc im evan's ex?

Kryoz: its not weird

Kryoz: theres like nothing between you and evan now and besides that was so long ago anyways

Four07: then why do you always make jokes that i want evan???

Four07: and what about my breakup with david

Kryoz: as someone who spent a long time in breakup psychosis i can confidently say that those "feelings" you had for evan werent real

Kryoz: you thought you had feelings for evan bc you saw his relationship and were comparing it to your own but you didnt REALLY have feelings for him

Kryoz: you just wanted your relationship to look like his

Kryoz: so its totally fine that we hang out and thats why i make jokes

Four07: what is it with everyone becoming wise once they get in a relationship

Kryoz: youll understand when ur no longer a virgin

Four07: im not a virgin??

Kryoz: you are in both spirit and mind

Four07: why do i talk to you

Kryoz: bc you want me BAD

Four07: you have serious mental problems

Kryoz: yeah probably

—

Now showing private messages between WildHoe and FuckBoi

WildHoe: hey

WildHoe: hope this isnt too weird

FuckBoi: tyler?

WildHoe: yeah

WildHoe: um so hopefully this doesnt make me sound like completely crazy but youre on the trip with john and swagger right?

FuckBoi: yeah

WildHoe: have you like seen them interact with one another?

FuckBoi: hmm

FuckBoi: truthfully ive only seen swagger and evan bc of all the meetings and i missed the first two days or so so i havent seen them together

WildHoe: does swagger...talk about him?

FuckBoi: yeah a little bit

FuckBoi: i asked who he brought and he was telling me a little about how he brought John and that things are going pretty well

FuckBoi: but i messaged john a few times and he said a LOT about swagger (mostly about how hot he is and he called me bitter and bored at the same time)

WildHoe: so things with that are pretty serious youd think

FuckBoi: wait...are you into john???

FuckBoi: i didnt think you still liked him

WildHoe: well we were supposed to get back together but like he was between me and cam i think bc apparently theyd been sleeping together for a while???

WildHoe: but i had a lot of stuff to figure out on my end and it took a while so instead hes dating those two

FuckBoi: that sucks dude

FuckBoi: wait but i thought you and craig?

WildHoe: oh that ended a while ago

WildHoe: jon didnt mention it?

FuckBoi: i dont remember him mentioning it beyond that party where he broke evans wrist

FuckBoi: but fair enough id break up with someone after something like that too

WildHoe: actually thats not what caused the breakup

WildHoe: he actually got like deranged about those two bc he wanted brian to like date both of us (which he didnt tell me btw???) or something so he decided the best way to do that was get rid of evan so he went to his apartment, drugged evan, and like literally tried to fucking kill him

FuckBoi: no fucking way

FuckBoi: like dead ass???

WildHoe: yeah it was a wild day...im surprised brian didnt hurt him with how close he came to literally bashing evans head in

WildHoe: definitely a dark time that im glad to be out of

WildHoe: evan and brian had to move apartments and we still dont know where they live

FuckBoi: woah

FuckBoi: so it was like serious shit

FuckBoi: and you definitely broke up with him after that right

WildHoe: oh

WildHoe: well

FuckBoi: are you fucking insane

WildHoe: we had a really long talk and we spent some time apart and we even went to a couples counselor to work things out

FuckBoi: holy shit you ARE insane

FuckBoi: he stalks and almost literally KILLS your friend and yet you still want to work things out

WildHoe: yeah well karma definitely got my ass okay

WildHoe: he was sleeping with my cousin the entire time so

WildHoe: literally the entire time since we first dated he also cheated on brian

FuckBoi: and THAT was where you drew the line?

FuckBoi: fucking balls dude

WildHoe: okay well

FuckBoi: and you wonder why john picked someone else??

WildHoe: well i stayed with craig and tried to work it out no matter what bc i left john for him so it felt like it HAD to work out

WildHoe: and who are YOU to judge me anyways

FuckBoi: okay i am NOWHERE near to your level of audacity

FuckBoi: are you and brian still even friends?? or evan??

WildHoe: its complicated

FuckBoi: well yeah you took the side of their assaulter i wouldnt talk to you anyways that sounds traumatizing

FuckBoi: is that why john doesnt want u anymore

WildHoe: its part of it

WildHoe: i also might still be getting updates in craigs status

FuckBoi: HOLY FUCK YOU ARE STUPID

WildHoe: well im his emergency contact and hes in prison so its not like we're really in contact

FuckBoi: i hope you know how fucking stupid you sound

WildHoe: okay well i dont blame evan and brian for not wanting to talk to me

WildHoe: especially evan

WildHoe: it was really bad for him

FuckBoi: i bet

FuckBoi: wait how bad

WildHoe: idk if hed want me to tell you

FuckBoi: well what if i do something hes uncomfortable with

FuckBoi: i should know these things

WildHoe: i think just you existing is enough to make him uncomfortable

FuckBoi: i can sabotage john and swagger.

WildHoe: woah

WildHoe: thats a little extreme

FuckBoi: well you want john right? i can just nudge him in the right direction

WildHoe: damn dude you dont need to go that far

WildHoe: like yeah it sucks things didnt work out but i mean we talked it out and ive thought about it and he was kinda right with what he said

WildHoe: i was a total asshole who probably deserves to be alone

WildHoe: but ill tell you as long as you dont use it against him

WildHoe: its like serious shit

WildHoe: but the whole group knows about it so i guess its okay

FuckBoi: even jon?

WildHoe: yeah...

WildHoe: hey do you want me to try to talk to him?

FuckBoi: what would you even say to him

WildHoe: ill think of something

WildHoe: oh anyways the thing with craig was super serious that evan actually had to go to a facility to deal with some stuff

FuckBoi: no way

FuckBoi: wait did you have to call someone on him?

WildHoe: he went willingly

WildHoe: ever since brian has been like crazy protective

FuckBoi: explains why theyre so close if they went through something like that

WildHoe: brian didnt explain anything specific but he said that evan was having a really hard time and he asked for help

WildHoe: so if hes on edge its probably just bc a lot has been happening

FuckBoi: which makes sense why brian is being so bitchy lately

—

Now showing private messages between WildHoe and Jon

WildHoe: you okay?

WildHoe: seemed a little tense in the chat earlier

WildHoe: sorry about you and lucas

Jon: it happens

Jon: must be karma or something

WildHoe: well if it makes you feel better youre not the only one feeling karmas wrath

WildHoe: must be the consequences of our actions huh?

Jon: guess so

WildHoe: and you really dont see you fixing things there?

WildHoe: bc i wish i could fix things with john but

WildHoe: hes better off without me i think

Jon: wow thats so mature of you to say

Jon: why the hell were you dating such a psycho

WildHoe: i cannot keep having this conversation

WildHoe: yes okay i should have broken up with him like MONTHS earlier than i did and it was a mistake but what would you do if you were dating someone and dramatically broke up with them to go back to your ex ?? would you NOT try to make it work with your ex no matter what?

Jon: okay trauma dump

Jon: but i get it

Jon: youre a romantic at heart

WildHoe: why does that sound so condescending

WildHoe: also feeling super vulnerable bc ive laid bare my deepest feelings and you are supposed to be the upset one. im sorry.

Jon: believe it or not this is actually helping

WildHoe: and lucas is just stupid

WildHoe: that work trip is chalk full of stupid in case you hadnt noticed

Jon: oh ive noticed

Jon: its just so frustrating that he came at me and essentially berated me for not being invested in our relationship and then he pulls this crap

WildHoe: bc hes a stupid man!

WildHoe: thats why he and evan broke up remember??

WildHoe: and you actually moved so whats his fucking deal fr

Jon: youre right

Jon: but i mean

Jon: im kind of also a stupid man

Jon: maybe im being too dense about all this

Jon: maybe this makes us even

WildHoe: look i wont tell you what to do about your relationship bc clearly my advice cant even work for me but we're all just stupid men really

WildHoe: so i mean if you can see a way of getting past this then maybe its worth saving? but dont feel like you have to do something just bc youve invested a lot of time into it

WildHoe: i think im a prime example of making that mistake

Jon: no fucking shit

Jon: thanks for this talk

Jon: believe it or not it was actually helpful