happy pride month!!

—

Now showing private messages between RoastMasterV2 and Kryoz

RoastMasterV2: are you awake

Kryoz: OMG THE MAN THE MYTH THE LEGEND

Kryoz: i missed you :((( never leave me again (you can leave me its fine it actually wasnt that bad but i DID miss you)

RoastMasterV2: please tell me youre still in bed and not in public

Kryoz: yeah why?

Kryoz: also swagger is in the shower so im extra alone

Kryoz: are you trying to start an affair or something?

RoastMasterV2 has sent 1 attachment.

Kryoz: NO FUCKDKSBSNAKAANAKA ENJS

Kryoz: ARE YOU DEAD ASS RN

Kryoz: holy fuck i just screamed so loud swags fell over in the shower i feel so bad

RoastMasterV2: ITS REAL.

Kryoz: OH MYD GODJAK

Kryoz: OGMS KSSKHRJEJSBJAKW

Kryoz: im cryidosn

Kryoz: oh my god

Kryoz: WAIT CAN I TELL SWAGGER BC HES GETTING CONCERNED...

RoastMasterV2: hes gonna find out anyways i mean do you think im taking this off

Kryoz: I WANT ALL THE DETAILS

RoastMasterV2: join us for lunch and ill tell you EVERYTHING

Kryoz: oh my god

Kryoz: im so fucking happy for you

Kryoz: YOURE GETTING MARRIED

RoastMasterV2: IM GETTING FUCKING MARRIED

RoastMasterV2: i cant stop crying im so serious even my hands are shaking

RoastMasterV2: i cant believe he wants me for the rest of his life like i thought i was being so annoying and unbearable yesterday and then next thing i know hes on his knee and asking me to marry him like what the hell is that

Kryoz: ugh okay that is SO SWEET

Kryoz: ill just tell swags that i got good news so that you can tell him yourself

RoastMasterV2: im serious about lunch btw

RoastMasterV2: lets make it a double date

Kryoz: who the hell are you and what have you done with my best friend

RoastMasterV2: im getting married im pretty sure nothing will ruin my mood for the rest of time

Kryoz: wait are you saying this is you being happy???

RoastMasterV2: our room service is here gtg

Kryoz: POST ENGAGEMENT ROOM SERVICE???? FUCK

—

Now showing private messages between Jon and RoastMasterV2

Jon: hey so i hope this isnt like super weird and i also hope you dont take it the wrong way

Jon: what is the hotel youre staying at?

RoastMasterV2: its not weird at all

RoastMasterV2: we're at xxx hotel and resort

RoastMasterV2: it even has a valet

Jon: thanks...

Jon: this is weird isnt it?

RoastMasterV2: not at all! are you sending something to lucas? i think hes missing you now that he sees hes like the only one who didnt invite their partner

RoastMasterV2: oh wait im so sorry i heard you guys might have broken up...

Jon: okay so like technically yes but also no

Jon: or at least i hope its not a hard no bc i woke up at like three am and caught a flight and now i am at the airport just waiting for an uber

RoastMasterV2: you're surprising him? thats so sweet

RoastMasterV2: im sorry i dont know his room number but swagger might? i can send u his contact if you want

Jon: no thats okay youve done more than enough really

Jon: um also not to be rude but are you feeling alright?

RoastMasterV2: ive actually never been better

RoastMasterV2: i hope it works out for you two. you deserve happiness

—

BESTIEZ

Terroriser: guys

Kryoz: ARE YOU GONNA TELL US ABOUT THE THING EVAN TODL ME ABSOUT EARLIER

Four07: what is happening

Terroriser: HI ITS ME ITS EVAN IM GONNA SHOW YOU ONE SEC

Terroriser has sent 1 attachment.

Four07: OH MY GOD???

Four07: AND THATS REAL????

Kryoz: im crying again holy fuck

Terroriser: yes. evan and i are engaged!!

Terroriser: we are very excited holy shit i am still in disbelief and evan keeps crying so i think hes more happy than i am

Kryoz: IM FUCKING CRYING

Four07: wow oh my god im even fucking crying this is insane

Kryoz: YOURE GETTING MARRIED

Four07: how are you going to keep it from everyone

Terroriser: we arent

Terroriser: evan and i decided that when we get back from the trip we're gonna have an engagement party at our place to celebrate

Four07: OK HARD LAUNCH???

Kryoz: im crying again wth

Four07: wait this is actually so exciting im so happy for you guys

Kryoz: IM GONNA COMMIT A MURDER HOLY FUCK

Four07: okay so maybe not as crazy as he is

Terroriser: im lowkey feeling the same way its just so crazy i mean ive had the ring for what feels like forever and now its really happened

Kryoz; I NEED ALL THE DETAILS

Kryoz: but i can wait if thats what you want

Terroriser: well i asked pasta (our neighbor) for help finding a ring a while back bc i wanted it to be a surprise and no offense but i dont trust any of you to keep this big of a secret

Terroriser: but also

Terroriser: when evan and i were in canada i talked to his family about it and got their permission

Kryoz: SHUT THE FUCK UP

Four07: WAITTTTTTTT

Four07: THATS SO FUCKING CUTE????

Kryoz: how are you so calm i feel like im losing my mind and im worrying my boyfriend

Terroriser: well i dont see a need to be extreme bc for once everything in my life feels like its right where its supposed to be

Terroriser: also theres like this huge weight off both of our shoulders so

Terroriser: but really im just happy to see him so happy

Kryoz: scott i think its time to add evan to the chat what do you think

RoastMasterV2 has been added to the chat.

Four07: finally

Kryoz: OH YMDBJWKA

Kryoz: IVE PRAYED FOR TIMES LIKE THESE

RoastMasterV2: so this is the chat brian always complains about

Four07: brian im hurt but i understand

Kryoz: first message in here and hes already swinging damn okay i get it

RoastMasterV2: im sorry i didnt mean to sound negative

Four07: NOW WHAT THE HELL

Kryoz: evan you dont have to apologize lmao we're all friends here

Four07: bro got a ring and a whole new outlook on life

RoastMasterV2: ive sent like two messages how do you know ive changed

RoastMasterV2: actually wait jon kinda seemed weirded out earlier

Terroriser: why was jon talking to you

RoastMasterV2: he wanted to know what hotel we're at

Terroriser: and why does he have to ask you that

RoastMasterV2: i dont think hes talking to lucas atm

RoastMasterV2: which now that i think about it is kinda weird bc he said he hopped on a flight this morning and was getting an uber here to surprise lucas

Kryoz: WAIT

Four07: oh my god

Kryoz: I THOUGHT THEY BROKE UP??

Terroriser: what?? youre telling me two terrible human beings were in a relationship with each other and broke up but the break up didnt last? whos shocked

Four07: wait why is brian actually funny now

Terroriser: why do you sound so surprised

RoastMasterV2: my hilarity has finally rubbed off on him

RoastMasterV2: which is about time bc i could not be the only funny one once we're married

RoastMasterV2: oh my god we're getting married

Kryoz: okay so evan is going through like the opposite of breakup psychosis

Four07: which is?

Kryoz: engagement delirium

Kryoz: brian you like shocked his whole nervous system or something

Terroriser: ?

Terroriser: he seems perfectly normal to me?

Kryoz: oh okay so im gonna k*ll myself

Kryoz: what do you MEAN evan is like this with you all the time thats so fucking SWEET

Kryoz: scott you and i gotta DIE

Four07: dont put me down for dying actually

Four07: thats how i know those two are meant to be bc evan was NOT like this with me

Terroriser: okay so i get engaged to the love of my life and youre still bringing up how you used to date like the engagement isnt even a day old i might just have to shoot you with a gun

Kryoz: what else would you shoot him with?

Terroriser: whatever they used in the gas chambers

RoastMasterV2: LMAOOOOO

RoastMasterV2: wait i mean no brian you cant say that thats not funny at all

Kryoz: oh good evan youre still in there

Four07: on second thought john i think i might have to die

—

Now showing private messages between Kryoz and Four07

Kryoz: DUDE

Kryoz: SCOTTTTT

Four07: what do you want from me

Kryoz: swags and i are on a double date with evan and brian rn (THE RING IS GORGEOUS HOLY FUCK THE PICTURE CANNOT DO IT JUSTICE) wnd liek get this

Kryoz: im pretty sure there is a HICKEY on EVANS NECK

Four07: why are you staring at his neck do you want him or something

Four07: also WHY ARE YOU TELLING ME HIS EX BOYFRIEND

Kryoz: we've talked about this scott idc about the exes thing

Kryoz: AND LITERALLY WHO ELSE CAN I FUCKING TELL

Four07: u could ask evan directly like an adult

Kryoz: we are at LUNCH in a RESTAURANT and also he is too busy BEING IN LOVE to give a fuck

Four07: okay so hes in love theres your answer it doesnt have to be this big thing

Four07: besides you dont have to pry into every little thing the guy does i mean brian and him are LOCKED in so they probably have each others boundaries tattooed on their skin

Kryoz: you just dont like thinking of evan in a capacity you never had him in

Four07: im not obsessed with him??? hes his own person and can make his own decisions and feel whatever changes life throws at him

Four07: why are you always so fucking annoying when you get into a new relationship like wth is your problem

Kryoz: i dont have a problem you have a fucking problem

Four07: text me when you get your head out of your ass

Kryoz: fuck you

—

Now showing private messages between Kryoz and RoastMasterV2

Kryoz: heyyyyyy

RoastMasterV2: we just saw you five minutes ago what the hell have you done

Kryoz: i just had a question to ask you that i couldnt ask in front of everyone

RoastMasterV2: if you have to ask its probably dumb and you shouldnt do it

Kryoz: i didnt do anything!!

Kryoz: except lowkey have an argument with scott but thats whatever

RoastMasterV2: its always something with your dumb ass

Kryoz: okay so this is really hard and i dont want you to think that im looking down on you and your choices because i know youre really happy right now but i also know youre in a fragile place so just know this comes from a place of love

Kryoz: because youre my best friend and i really care about you

RoastMasterV2: what?

Kryoz: does brian make you...do things that you're uncomfortable with?

RoastMasterV2: excuse me?

Kryoz: i saw the marks on your neck at lunch and im worried evan

Kryoz: i dont want you to do something youre uncomfortable with just because youre in love and im worried bc your relationship seems great otherwise

RoastMasterV2: what the fuck

Kryoz: im not accusing anyone of anything

RoastMasterV2: well it sounds like you are

RoastMasterV2: but

RoastMasterV2: ugh i was not prepared for this conversation today

Kryoz: im here for you evan no matter what. we will figure it out

RoastMasterV2: john i have to tell you something and just know that even i dont understand it okay

Kryoz: okay?

RoastMasterV2: ive always thought i was asexual, it just made sense with how i moved through the world and interacted with people

RoastMasterV2: and when i was with jon especially, sex was just so repulsive and unappealing and i didnt know why because i wanted it to work, i really did, but it didnt

RoastMasterV2: and the same with lucas and scott, and jon again

RoastMasterV2: it felt awful

RoastMasterV2: and i was comfortable with that label for a long time

RoastMasterV2: but then i started dating brian and eventually, we did hook up, and the next day we had a really long conversation about it, because i realized that i didnt actually hate it, but i didnt know what that meant

RoastMasterV2: but ive put in the research and given it a lot of thought and think im actually demisexual

RoastMasterV2: which is on the asexual spectrum, but still

Kryoz: oh

Kryoz: i feel like an asshole now for just accusing brian of hurting you

RoastMasterV2: its okay, i figured it would get found out eventually, i was just scared to tell people because i made such a fuss over it so many times

RoastMasterV2: and i dont even understand it myself im just trying to concentrate on how awesome my life is rn

Kryoz: well youre only finding out now because you and brian are so connected

Kryoz: you trust each other

Kryoz: for christs sake youre getting married!!

Kryoz: thank you for trusting me with this evan

Kryoz: though it kinda feels like i forced you to

RoastMasterV2: its better this way actually idk when else i wouldve told you

Kryoz: well

Kryoz: ig the sex is pretty good then?

RoastMasterV2: im gonna kill you

—

Now showing private messages between Kryoz and Four07

Kryoz: im sorry

Kryoz: ur right i was just being a dumbass

Kryoz: i think i just like to create disasters when something is going good in my life bc its another way to practice self sabotage bc i cant accept that sometimes things are well and truly good

Four07: i think you should talk to a therapist about that

Four07: but i forgive you

Kryoz: do you need me to scope out swagger's coworkers and see if one of them can be your new man??

Four07: actually i think im gonna go back to being mad at you

Kryoz: well youre gonna need a wedding date!!

Four07: you really think im getting invited to the wedding?

Kryoz: why not? youre like one of four people who know about this

Kryoz: be kinda weird if you werent

Four07: idk

Four07: it just feels weird ig

Kryoz: yeah

Kryoz: its hard to see someone else have the things that youve always wanted

Kryoz: but if you put good energy out into the world, then itll come back to you tenfold

Kryoz: its out there scott i promise u

Four07: its rlly hard to take you seriously when 1) you are in a relationship and not single like me and 2) u have been dating these men for like four days

Four07: wait how does a threeway marriage even work

Kryoz: okay lets not jump the gun here

Kryoz: one wedding at a time

Kryoz: (i have no idea)

—

BESTIEZ

RoastMasterV2: so basically i just need a fucking gun

Four07: what happened??

RoastMasterV2: well i crashed once we got back to our hotel room and i woke up to these fuck ass messages from BROCK of all people like wth

Kryoz: not the DMs???

RoastMasterV2: i havent even read them and im already annoyed

RoastMasterV2: and id let brian deal with it but idk i kinda wanna see what happens

Four07: living for the drama yes yes of course

Terroriser: i think you should just block him and move on bc what he said was SO FUCKED like i am mad just thinking about it

Kryoz: no yeah definitely

Kryoz: and like idk why people keep calling evan crazy when arguably hes done the least crazy shit

RoastMasterV2: they put you on suicide watch TWO TIMES and everyone treats you like ur unstable for the rest of your life

RoastMasterV2: well i did also have a mental breakdown and had to go to a facility for a while but like that was a different thing so

Terroriser: yeah but babe ive told you that all that doesnt make you crazy

Terroriser: you have a stable job where everyone respects you and no one thinks youre crazy okay?

Kryoz: yeah i mean not to open an old wound but c**ig LITERALLY tried to murder you and also stalked you and made zero sense last time we saw him and that guy is UN FUCKING STABLE

Four07: yeah i mean jon also like has done way worse shit i mean he had to move to canada to escape the law

Terroriser: yeah see youre probably one of the more rational people in our group bc i mean brock was trying to set everyone up there for a little bit

Kryoz: yeah honestly with all the shit thats happened im surprised theyve only put you on suicide watch twice

RoastMasterV2: i feel like thats the wrong thing to say to someone whos been on suicide watch but i wont think about it too much

RoastMasterV2: what kind of gun should i buy

Terroriser: i dont think i trust you with a gun

RoastMasterV2: bc you think im gonna kill myself?

Terroriser: NO??? bc i think youll kill OTHER PEOPLE???

Four07: see john i told you adding both of them to this chat would turn it into a domestic hotline

Terroriser: THERE IS ZERO ABUSE HAPPENING HERE????

RoastMasterV2: babe he just means that we're gonna be having petty arguments here instead of just in our private chat

Kryoz: im scared of what goes on in there tbh

RoastMasterV2: i basically just get free therapy from him

Kryoz: seems a little unethical considering youre engaged

Terroriser: every conversation in this god damn groupchat takes a year off my life