NINETY MINUTES BEGIN

Have you ever been in love?
circle your answer

A. No B. Yes

His hands shook quietly against his shins, his legs tucked into his chest. His heart pounded hard against his thighs as his eyes shut themselves tight and rivers flooded his cheeks. His forehead fell from the wall to his knees; his head feeling like a thousand pounds on his shoulders. His hands found their way to each other, gripping hard, trying to control the heartbroken fever he was showing.

Rain lightly tapped the window panes, dancing in puddles. His tears matched the drops falling from the sky, but sadly enough, the two combined could not drown out the swelling pain he had in his chest. He tried to convince himself that it was all gonna be alright. Things would connect back together like a puzzle and if one piece was to be missing, there was always a chance of finding the same piece but in a different set of puzzles.

Every time he thought of her, things went back to the way it was now. His large body molded into a ball with a heart that was no longer holding meaning, but instead just beat because he allowed it to.

The wall before him held memories he could now adore more than he used to. Hundreds of pictures she took for them, for him. His favorite was the one he planted right in the middle of the other beautiful, meaningful memories. His lips were planted on her nose, a smile was spread across her face. White sheets were wrapped around them and limbs were tangled upon each other.

He missed her.

His feet scuffed out in front of him, planting themselves centimeters away from the wall covered in pictures. The back of his head hit the wall behind him, the pain not even matching up to the ache in his body. This ache was odd. His body was numb, but at the same time it hurt so fucking badly.

His fingers lingered over the back of his phone. Knowing what it held inside make his hand hesitate to unlock it, but he did anyways. His eyes met with a picture he took of her while they were away on vacation. She wanted to travel so badly and the first place she wanted to take herself was the Netherlands to meet the tulip fields she's only ever been able to admire in pictures.

She took his hand into hers and asked him, "why can't we just hop on a plane right now and fall in love even more?". So, they did. They bought the tickets before he left for tour, they took an adventure out to the beautiful gardens filled with tulips, and there, in that one picture, showed how much love a first love could even hold.

Her eyes sparkled as her smile stretched ear to ear. Her glasses rested on the bridge of her nose, her jean jacket held tightly on to her shoulders, and her maroon boots kicked up dirt as if the joke he had just told was the funniest thing she's ever heard.

He didn't understand that feeling being held in his chest. He didn't understand how one girl's light could reflect so beautifully against his. He didn't understand a lot when it came to her, but damn, did he regret ever letting go of that feeling.

"Have you ever been in love?" the note read at the top of the page, scribbled in ugly cursive, "Circle yes or no," the instructions fooled his eyes into looking at the big capital letters beneath it. The tip of the pen waited anxiously as the boy looked back up from the notes and at the doctor sitting before him. The doctor ignored the boy's stare, staring down at his own notes with his chin in his palm.

His eyes finally adjusted back to the paper, the ball point pen finally pressing down to the paper.

Yes, he circled, and next to it he wrote, "I can still taste her toothpaste in my mouth."

From there, he went to the next question, still having 89 minutes ticking down behind him.