#COMM

Chapter 49

I talked to my parents. They said that they already organized a dinner where all the family would be present. Kinakabahan ako. We got a huge family. I have only a few cousins, but lots of second cousins. And some of them already have kids! I was so nervous!

"What should we bring?" Jasper asked. He wanted to go out to buy gifts for my parents. I told him that it wasn't necessary, but he's adamant on buying a present.

Ayoko kasing lumabas... I still didn't feel comfortable about going out. Back in Paris, I was still hesitant to go out. I felt like even though I was literally in the other side of the world, still, Justin could find a way to get to me...

It's scary.

And tiring.

I didn't want to live this way. I didn't want to continue living while watching over my shoulders. I didn't want to be scared all my life.

But I couldn't tell Jasper about this. I didn't want to talk about Justin... but a part of me was telling me that how would I ever get over Justin when I'd just keep on running from him? I knew that one day, I'd have to confront him. I'd have to finish whatever business I had left with him.

"My Dad likes Scotch Whisky," I mentioned. "My mom likes paintings. But seriously, don't sweat this too much. It's not like they'll be surprised with JJ naman..."

"I wanna make a good impression."

"Why? They know you."

"Exactly. They hired me to take care of you..."

"E? You're taking care of me naman."

"I was hired to take care of you, then I got you pregnant."

My eyes widened. "Jasper! Ano ba 'yan! You talk as if we weren't in a relationship when JJ was made!"

I was thankful that JJ's not with us. Hindi ko nga rin alam kung ano ang nakain ni Addie. She told us that she wanted to take JJ with her. I trusted her naman since I was sure that she wouldn't harm JJ. Okay lang din since I was gone all day yesterday with my cousins.

Jasper and I strolled around the mall. He couldn't decide on what he'd buy! Natatawa na ako sa kanya because he's really effing nervous! I mean, he used to be a soldier. He goes to war, for heaven's sake! Pero dito, kabadong-kabado siya? He's such a mystery.

We were walking when his phone rang.

"Answer it," I told him. For the past few days, he's skipping work. I kinda felt bad kasi syempre work is work... but he's adamant on spending time with JJ and me. Hindi ko nga alam kung ano ang naging usapan nila. All I knew was that his Mom's taking care of it. Iyong Dad kasi ni Jasper iyong sa military. Jasper promised to introduce us as soon as I introduce him to my family. Naninigurado talaga.

I took a few steps away from him habang may kasaup siya. It's still his privacy. Besides, I had my phone with me naman, so if I get too distracted while strolling around, he could call me.

I went to this boutique. I kinda had the urge to buy cute dresses for Addie! She dresses like a boy, seriously! The only instances where she'd look like a girl is kapag may formal occasion where our attendance are mandatory. Other than that, she looked like a lumberjack.

"My favorite playmate's back."

I felt my whole body freezing as I heard the familiar voice.

"Aren't you gonna say hi?"

My chest began to tighten as my mind started to go haywire. I kept on telling myself to run, but my feet betrayed me as they stayed on the ground, unable to move even an inch.

"Justin..." I mumbled as I stared right at his face. I wanted to run. I wanted to hide from him... but it was too late now. He's here. He knew I was back.

"You ran away from me," he said. "I wasn't done then with you."

"Justin, please," I begged. "What do you want from me? Wala naman akong ginagawa sa 'yo..."

I didn't know what his problem was with me. Wala akong ginagawa sa kanya. Wala akong maalala na ginawa ko sa kanya. I wanted to apologize if there's anything I did wrong, but I really couldn't think of anything. So, how would I fix it if there's nothing to be fixed? If he's really just hell-bent on destroying my life just for the heck of it?

"I followed what you wanted. I broke up with Jasper. What more do you want from me?"

I wanted to go. For once, I was thankful that JJ wasn't with me. I didn't want Justin to see him. I didn't want to give him the idea of other ways to hurt me. Tama na na ako iyong pinaglalaruan niya. I'd fucking kill him if he even dare involve JJ in his sick games.

"Why are you back? Did you come back to get together with that soldier?"

Fuck. I could feel my phone vibrating. I hid it on my back. I was afraid that Justin would see that Jasper was calling me.

"N-No."

"Liar," he spat out. He took a step forward, making me halt breathing. I just... I just feared him, and I hated it. I hated feeling weak. I hated how he had such control over me. I hated how I allow him to. "I'll find out soon enough. Until then, have fun."

Hindi ako maka-galaw sa kinatatayuan ko. Pinanood ng mga mata ko hanggang sa unti-unti siyang mawala sa paningin ko. I felt like air left my body. I couldn't breathe. I felt like my entire body was shaking with fear that I only could feel when he's around.

"Siobhan."

I still couldn't breathe.

"Are you alright?" he asked.

Jasper was looking at me, his eyes were asking questions, but all I wanted to do was to leave. I wanted to leave again. I didn't care if I was a coward. All I wanted was to be safe. I just wanted my baby to be as far away from that monster.

I begged my entire system to walk. To run. But all I could do was to stare at Jasper and ask for pity.

"I wanna go home."

I couldn't even hear my voice. I felt so small.

"Okay," he said, looking at me softly. Jasper carried me in his arms. I couldn't move. I couldn't even feel my knees. I just wanted to go home and see my baby.

I buried my face in his chest as I felt how fast he was walking. I wanted to tell him to hide because Justin might see us, but I didn't have to heart to talk about him anymore. Even seeing him drained everything I had in me.

"Tell me what happened," he said as soon as we reached his car. I didn't answer. I just wanted to go away and pretend that this never happened. Pakiramdam ko ay sasabog ang puso ko sa sobrang bilis ng patibok niya. I thought... I thought I was finally fine... That I was finally in control of my system after years of being away...

Little did I know that it only takes one minute with him to destroy everything I worked so hard to build.

"Is it Justin?"

My heart constricted. I saw how Jasper's hands tightened around the steering wheel.

"Did you see him?" he asked. I couldn't reply. He turned to look at me. "Siobhan... did you see him?"

I looked at his eyes, afraid of myself because I was feeling it again... I was feeling the urge to run and hide again... and it wasn't fair... it wasn't fair for Jasper...

"Y-Yes."

"Shit," he cursed and cupped my face. "I'm sorry I wasn't there. Did he do anything?" he asked, checking my face and my arms to see if I was hurt anywhere.

But Justin never hurt me physically... what he did was worse. He played with my mind. He tortured me mentally. He made me feel and think that I would lose people whom I love... It's just the worst thing anyone could ever do to me... Making me feel like the people I love would die because of me...

"Jasper..." I said, my voice sounded as little as when I asked him to break up with me years ago. "I wanted to go back to Paris."

His eyes widened—his eyes began to reflect fear.

"No," he quickly replied. The rational side of him quickly vanished, and all that's left was the man who was afraid to get left behind again. "You're not leaving me again. I'll fucking kill him if that happens again. I'm serious. I'll fucking kill him."

I could feel bile rising up to my throat.

"W-We can leave... You and I... And Kylie... We can take her," I said. "It's safer there, Jasper. I can't live here. I can't always worry about Justin. It will kill me. I will die with worry. I will always worry if ever he'll get bored enough and want to mess with my life again... I don't want that."

Jasper's jaw clenched. "Why are you letting him terrorize you like that?"

I could feel tears welling in my eyes. "Hindi ko alam... Natatakot ako sa kanya. Hindi ko alam kung bakit. Kasi alam ko na madali lang matapos ang buhay. It only takes a bullet to end a life, Jasper... Like what happened with Evan. A whole fucking life ended just like that. And what if it happens to you? To JJ? I can't risk it. I didn't risk it before and I refuse to risk it now."

I watched as his shoulders heaved up and down. I wanted to convince him to just leave... It's the easier choice... It's the safer choice...

"Did you tell your family?" I nodded. "And?"

Painfully, I smiled at him. "You'll be surprised what influence can do to people, Jasper... Politics is a dirty, dirty world," I said, remembering how my own grandparents let this shit happen to me.

The election? They won. But me? They fucking lost me.

"Jasper, you don't—"

"I'll go wherever you go. That's the deal, Siobhan," he said before he started the engine of his car.

"W-Where are we going?"

I felt scared. He looked... mad. Different kind of mad. The kind of mad that made me believe that he'd do anything to win.

"You say politics is a dirty game, right? It's time to dig the skeletons in their closets," he said as he stared head on. "I won't let that fucking asshole terrorize you for one more day. Not in my watch."