#COMM

Chapter 8

I didn't want to go home just yet. I was in the mood for a drink... but I knew that I'd be in a lot of trouble if my parents catch me drinking. I was already an adult, but they still treated me like a kid. It's okay, though, since I kinda like being the center of their attention.

"Jasper," I said. I was still sitting down, but suddenly, I felt all too tired. "I wanna drink."

"Okay," he replied.

"Can you drink with me?"

"No."

"Please?"

Umiling siya. I frowned.

"Can you at least carry me on your back? My feet ache," I complained and then opened my arms. I knew that Jasper's already annoyed with me, but I kinda liked annoying him. He's dull, but he's the cute kind of dull. The kind that makes you want to annoy him more... and at the same time, challenges you because it's really hard to get a reaction from him.

"You're a baby," he said.

"I'm heart broken, okay? I'm really sad tonight..."

He looked like he had a comment to say, but he held himself back. Instead, Jasper squatted in front of me. I smiled to myself. He really couldn't resist, could he?

Sumakay ako sa likod niya. He held my legs with his arms, while I rested my head on his shoulder.

"Nagkaron ka na ba ng girlfriend?" I asked him. He ignored my question, of course. "Ex?" I prodded. "Nililigawan?" I added.

"You're so nosy."

I pouted. "Ang tahimik mo kasi. Namiss ko tuloy si Evan bigla..."

"Evan is married," Jasper was quick to say.

"Oh! Talaga?! Hindi halata!"

"So, don't get any ideas," Jasper said.

"Hala! Wala naman akong sinasabi!" I defended myself. Hindi ko lang talaga maisip na may asawa si Evan kasi palagi lang siyang nakasunod sa akin... It didn't occur to me that someone's actually waiting for him to come home... This was exactly why having bodyguards made me uncomfortable. It made me feel like I was inconveniencing everyone. It's not like the world would stop spinning naman if something were to happen to me... I was just an up and coming model—not Mother Theresa.

"Pero seryoso? May asawa na nga siya?" Jasper nodded. "Hindi ba hinahanap si Evan sa bahay nila?"

"It's his job," Jasper said. He was walking like I weighted nothing. It's nice to be carried like this.

"Pero kahit na... kapag ako nag-asawa, ayoko ng ganon... I think I'd be really clingy..." I said and then held on tighter. "Ang hirap kapag hindi mo nakikita araw-araw at nakakasama 'yung mahal mo, 'di ba?"

I expected at least a nod from him, but I didn't get any.

"Have you ever been in love, Jasper?"

"You're so nosy."

I poked his cheek. "Sagot na. Na-in love ka na ba?"

He stopped walking. "I'll drop you if you don't stop prying."

I frowned. "Wala ka namang sinasagot sa mga mahahalagang tanong ko."

"Your questions are not important," he replied, bored.

"Hindi mo pa rin sinasabi kung bakit English speaking ka!" I asked him and kinda tightened my hold around his neck. Inalis niya iyong isang kamay na nakahawak sa legs ko tapos niluwagan niya iyong hawak ko sa leeg niya. God, he's so strong!

"If I speak in Tagalog, will you shut up?"

I gasped. "You didn't just ask me to shut up!"

I felt him sighing. "Ingay mo."

My lips parted. "Oh, my god! Back to English, Jasper! It's weird to hear you speak in Tagalog!"

"Tss."

Kumapit ako nang mabuti sa kanya since feeling ko ilalaglag niya na talaga ako anytime. Jasper's a soldier so he's trained to follow orders. Ang order sa kanya ay 'wag akong mamatay... I was sure that he's thinking that I could get hurt when I'm being annoying.

"Pero I have a serious question..." I asked him. "I need a guy perspective."

"Ask your brothers," he replied.

I shook my head. "I can't. They're friends with Aidan."

"They're your brothers."

"But we grew up together..."

I sadly rested my head on his shoulder again. It still felt like yesterday when I caught with my own eyes the two people I loved cheating on me. Kahit na isipin ko na dapat magpatawad ako kasi iyon ang dapat, hindi ko magawa. Because it hurt. So bad. It felt like they stabbed my chest repeatedly. And then they crushed it into million pieces.

I trusted them both...

And they screwed me over.

Sometimes, it just makes you think if trusting someone's still worth it. You invest so much trust and emotion... then they'd just end up ruining it all. Ruining you for other people. Makes you hesitant to ever trust anyone again. It just ruins living.

"You're their sister. They'll choose you over anyone," he said.

I tightened my hold on him. "I know... but sometimes, I wonder... was it my fault that he cheated? If... I slept with him, would things have gone differently?"

Jasper kept on walking; he wasn't saying anything. Maybe I was right. Maybe... a part of this was my fault.

"Maybe this is my fault," I whispered.

Jasper stopped walking. He put me on the ground and then looked at me. His face was serious that it almost scared me. But he's Jasper. I trusted him. I knew he'd never hurt me.

"It will be your fault if you come back to him," he seriously said. He looked at his watch and then looked at me. "It's Sunday. I'm off duty."

Kumunot ang noo ko. "What?"

He ignored my question. "Cheating is the lowest form of disrespect."

Napaawang ang labi ko. "Jasper—"

"If he cheated on you, he's not worth it."

"What—"

"If he made you feel like it's your fault, he's fucking not worth it."

I was loss for words.

I liked his silence.

But I loved his words.

"Cheating is a conscious decision. It's not an involuntary reaction. He chose to cheat on you. It's his fault. It's never your fault. Stop blaming yourself."

Mas lalong napaawang ang mga labi ko.

"You're a nice person, Siobhan. You don't deserve a lying bastard like him. He's already your ex—make sure he stays an ex. You're smart."

Hindi ko alam pero biglang nangilid iyong luha ko. My lips began to quiver. I had a lot of things to say to him... but isa lang ang lumabas sa bibig ko.

"I love Sunday," I said and then tears began to stream down.

* * *

When Sunday morning rolled over, I woke up really early to help the cooks. I just wanted to cook for my bodyguards before I shoo them away for the day.

"Good morning!" I said after I knocked. I made sure not to peep on the window dahil baka kung ano na naman ang makita ko. "Eat your breakfast and then go away," I told Kellan who's still half-asleep.

"Huh?"

"It's Sunday! It's God's day! Uwi na kayo sa family niyo. I'll stay here lang sa house, I promise," I said and then raised my hand. "Here, food niyo. I personally watched again para sure na safe kainin 'yan."

Mukhang naguguluhan pa rin si Kellan pero pinapasok ko na kay Manang iyong mga pagkain. I just asked them to cook whatever my brothers liked eating. I figured they just eat the same since pareho silang active lifestyle.

I was about to enter when Kellan stood in front of me.

"Si Jasper?" I asked when I noticed that Evan and Nico were already eating, but no Jasper in sight.

"Ah..." Kellan said. "Evan!" he called.

"What?" Evan replied.

"Si Jasper daw?"

"Off duty," he replied. He never really liked me, this guy. Sungit palagi. Siguro dahil namimiss niya na asawa niya.

"Ah... umalis?" I asked. Nag-effort pa naman ako na magfry ng bacon.

Evan nodded. "He'll be back tonight."

I wanted to ask kung saan siya nagpunta, but I felt like that would be pushing my limit. Tahimik na lang ako na tumango at saka sinabihan siya na sana mag-enjoy sila sa kakainin nila.

And as promised, I stayed at home the whole day. I wanted them to be able to enjoy their Sundays nang hindi nag-aalala kung buhay pa ako. That's the least I could do for them lalo na ngayon at nalaman ko na kasal pala si Evan. He really needed to come to his wife para hindi siya masungit.

But the con of promising to stay at home was seeing Aidan.

"Good afternoon," he greeted when I came down to eat.

I pressed my lips in annoyance.

"Siobhan," Mom called my name. "You didn't tell me that Aidan was there last night," she said with a smile. She saw Aidan grow up... little did she know that he grew up to be a cheating bastard.

"We didn't get a chance to talk, right, Love?" he asked, smiling at me. I wanted to grab the butter knife and stab his smiling face.

"Oh, very well, Aidan, stay for dinner. I'm sure my boys would love to see you," Mom said. And Aidan, being the bastard that he was, readily agreed.

The lunch was annoying because Mom kept on engaging me to talk to Aidan. I was so tempted to tell him that that guy cheated on her only daughter! She should hate him! But I stopped myself. It's more than me... his dad's business associates with my dad... It's just so complicated.

"That guy from last night..." Aidan said when Mom left us to catch up.

"Just stop whatever it is that you're doing, okay?" I told him. "It's not gonna happen."

Aidan looked at me—the smug smile gone. "Maggie, look, I'm sorry—"

"Apology accepted, then, but that's it, Aidan. That's all I can offer. That's all I want to offer," I sincerely told him.

I tried to walk away, but he held my arm. "Don't you still have feelings for me?" he asked.

I looked at him. "That's not the point, Aidan. You cheated on me. Whatever feelings I might have left for you, they don't matter... Because. You. Freaking. Cheated. On. Me."

I was thankful that Jasper talked some sense into me last night... kung hindi dahil sa kanya, hindi ko alam kung ano na ang nangyari ngayon. I might have forgiven Aidan... I might have blamed myself for something that he did...

"There are plenty of girls, Aidan. Bother them, not me."

"Is it because of that guy?" he asked. I pressed my lips. "Because I asked your mom, Maggie. He's just a guard. Do you seriously think he stands a chance?"

I wanted to punch his face. I wanted to claw his face. How dare he degrade Jasper?!

"He's not just a guard—he's my bodyguard. And he's more of a man than you'll ever be!" I said and then walked out on him. I was fuming real hard when I bumped into Evan who seemed to have heard everything.

Nanlaki ang mga mata ko.

"Evan—"

"I'll pretend that I didn't hear anything."

"What?"

He looked at me—like he pitied me. I didn't know why, but that pissed me.

"Not Jasper, Maggie. You'll never get him," he said it like he meant it. Like he was worried that I might hurt myself if I did try.