#CTG31 Chapter 31

"I told you, you don't need to do this," sabi ko sa kanya habang ipinapatong niya sa lamesa ko iyong maliit na thermal bag. It's been the 5th day of this so called set-up—o kung anuman ito. Every morning, Iñigo would come to my unit and bring me food for breakfast and lunch. And then come dinner, pumupunta siya dito sa unit para magsaing. So fucking weird of him... yet it's... cute. He's really like a puppy.

"Part of the contract," he said, smiling. Back to sunshine boy.

Lumapit ako at sinilip kung ano iyong pagkain na dinala niya. I frowned when I saw what it was. "Mukha ba akong garden? Bakit puro damo 'to?"

Kumunot ang noo niya. "Spinach 'yan. Good for iron deficiency daw," he said, closing the container once again. "May orange din d'yan sa loob para sa vitamins."

I rolled my eyes. It's like Iñigo turned into my mom.

"Ubusin mo, okay? Hirap kaya iluto niyan."

"Sino ba nagsabing magluto ka? Fastfood lang okay na ako."

"Fastfood my ass," he replied. "Our contract clearly states that I'm in-charge of your food, Viste, so you'll eat whatever I feed you."

Iñigo was holding a banana and if this happened back then during our I'll-pull-you-in-the-abandoned-auditorium-and-we'll-makeoutphase, he'd be having the time of his life teasing me about it... But we're in a different place now. I couldn't exactly pinpoint where we're at, but it's okay. One problem at a time.

"What's that?" I asked when I saw another thermal bag on the table.

"Ah... dinner mo," sabi niya.

I pursed my lips. That's new. I wanted to confirm na hindi siya pupunta dito mamaya para sabay kaming magdinner... but that would make things weird. I was okay with our set-up right now. I was okay with how smooth things were. There's no space for complication—not with BAR exam looming around the corner.

"Di ako makaka-punta mamaya," he simply said.

"Okay," I simply responded.

Ganon lang.

Simple.

Iñigo stayed while waiting for me to finish preparing for the review center. Malapit lang naman iyong building kaya sinabayan niya akong maglakad. I didn't feel as sad as before—hindi kaya nung mga araw na palagi akong nakakakita ng magboyfriend na sabay naglalakad. This actually felt nice... to be with someone. To be someone's priority—even for a while.

"Wag mo na akong puntahan next week," I said.

"Bakit na naman?" tanong niya na naka-kunot ang noo.

"Finals mo, 'di ba?"

His lips parted. "Oo nga pala..."

"Baliw ka ba? 'Di mo naalala?"

He scratched the back of his head. "Alam ko," sagot niya. "Medyo nalimutan ko lang. Sabay kasi si Atty. Cabo at Atty. Buenasher na maraming pinapagawa sa 'kin."

"Sabihin mo kaya sa kanila na finals mo? Marami namang paralegal sa office."

He smiled. "Nah, it's fine. Patapos naman na ko."

"Focus on your finals."

He grinned. "Naks... concerned?"

I rolled my eyes. "Shut up."

Humalakhak siya. "If this were like before, I'd tease about you liking me... but we're strictly on a 'contract' basis now, right?"

I ignored that. We're really good right now. The complication could wait after I finish the exam. Pagkatapos ng exam, we could be as complicated as we want... not now. May BAR ako; may finals siya. We needed to focus on the goal.

"Seriously, though," I said after a while, "Wag mo muna akong puntahan next week. Focus on your finals."

He didn't comment after that. Tahimik kaming dalawa hanggang makarating sa review center. I liked the silence... And I realized that I only needed two things to relax—silence and his presence. Couldn't get any better than that.

The day went on as usual. My head was slightly aching because of the mock exam. Pag-uwi ko, gusto ko na lang matulog pero nanghihinayang ako sa niluto ni Iñigo kaya naman pinilit ko na kumain ng dinner. I watched TV for a while dahil ayokong matulog agad pagkatapos kumain. But in the middle of watching, I heard knocks on the door.

"Hey," he said with a defeated smile on his face.

"I thought—"

But I didn't finish my sentence when he suddenly wrapped his arms around me and rested his chin on top of mine.

"Ilang segundo lang," bulong niya.

Hindi ako maka-galaw. Hindi ko alam ang gagawin ko. I wanted to ask him what was wrong... but all I could do was to be here for him. It was as if I could feel how tired he was...

"Nakaka-pagod," he whispered again.

"What can I do?" I asked.

He tightened his hold around me. "Wag ka munang gumalaw," sagot niya.

"Can I, at least, breathe?"

"Nah, I forbid you."

I rolled my eyes and stayed standing there. I was silently counting the seconds. Ilang minuto na kaming naka-tayo lang na ganon. I could feel the rising and the falling of his chest. Sobrang lalim ng paghinga niya. Parang... sobrang lungkot niya.

"You wanna hear something weird?" he asked after a while of pure silence.

"Always."

"You're the only person who can infuriate the shit out of me... but at the same time, you're like this tranquilizer," he said, tightening his hold around me again, if that was even possible. "Like a walking contradiction, Charisse Faith. Like a bad addiction that I know I needed to stop... but look at me now? Isang lapit mo lang, nandito na naman ako."

I stood there, knocked out of words.

"I heard what you said the other night."

I immediately froze.

"Alin 'dun?"

"The one where you can only relax when I'm around?"

"I was—" I said, pausing midway. I was tempted to tell him that I was drugged or maybe even hypnotized that night, but I didn't want to dig a lie. Narinig niya na; ano pa ba ang magagawa ko? Lying would be no use. He could easily be able to tell.

He broke the one-way hug and looked into my eyes. "Me, too, Cha," he said, looking right into my eyes. "I can only relax when you're around," he continued, whispering against my lips.

I could feel my breathing deepening as seconds slowly passed by.

What... was about to happen?

"...Iñigo?" I asked because he was acting weird.

He had this defeated smile on his face again. He rested his forehead against mine. He drew a really deep breath.

"Sorry," he said and backed away. "Uwi na ako."

My lips parted at the confusion. He's really going through something... and the logical thing to do was to let him solve whatever it was. That's the logical and rational thing to do... Alam ko 'yun.

"Wait," pagtawag ko bago pa man siya maka-layo.

Screw rational.

Kahit ngayon lang.

"Coffee?" I asked.

"I won't be a good company tonight—"

"I'm good with silence," I cut him off.

"I can do silence," he said.

Tanging tunog lang ng water heater ang naririnig namin. I was watching Iñigo. His head was resting against the sofa and his eyes were closed. He looked like he's carrying the world on his shoulder and I wanted so badly to ask... but I shouldn't. Silence must do for now.

"Lavender tea," I said, putting a mug in front of him. "If you want coffee—"

"Thanks," he said, offering a small smile.

We were again enveloped with silence.

It was nice.

It felt good.

"Do you think I'm a bad person?" biglang tanong niya.

"What?"

"Sa tingin mo ba masama ako?"

What the hell was he going through?

"No," I frankly said. "Complicated... but not evil for sure."

He nodded. "Sa tingin ko rin naman..." sabi niya. "I mean, hindi ako sobrang bait... but I do try to be good, you know?" he asked, looking at me and smiling sadly. I could see his eyes starting to turn red. My heart started to ache at the sight of him. I badly wanted to cross the distance and wrap my arms around him and tell him that everything's going to be okay... but I didn't know if things would be okay...

Sinandal niya iyong ulo niyang muli at pinikit ang mata at mahinang tumawa.

"Shit. Sorry. Sabi sa 'yo wala akong kwentang kasama ngayon, e," sabi niya habang pasimpleng pinupunasan iyong luha niya.

"We can just... watch a movie," I offered.

He nodded, his eyes still close. "Okay."

"Ano'ng gusto mong panoorin?"

"Kahit ano'ng gusto mo."

I reached for the remote and started to look for a movie to watch. I was browsing the selection, looking for a movie that Iñigo might enjoy. I wanted him to have fun. I didn't like seeing him this down. It's making me weirdly sad, too.

"Do you like horror? Or gore? Or action?"

"Whatever you want," he replied.

"I don't usually watch movies."

"Really?"

"Yeah..."

"Nerd."

I threw him a look. "I know."

Because my condo was 'uninhabitable' as per Iñigo, bumaba siya sa convinience store para bumili ng chips and popcorn, pero pagbalik niya, may dala siyang canned beer... and Chuckie.

"Seriously?" tanong ko nang iabot niya sa akin ang Chuckie.

"Why? Gusto mo rin ng beer?" tanong niya habang binubuksan iyong beer.

I snatched one away from him and took a sip and immediately made a face. Ugh. Still disgusting.

Iñigo laughed. "Stick to your chocolate drink, little girl."

The movie began and we were both watching. It was said to be the most recommended movie of the year. It was okay, though. Maybe I really am a book fan, not much of a movie fan.

"Bakit?" tanong niya nang tumayo ako.

"Namamanhid 'yung legs ko," I answered.

He pulled me down again and laid my legs over his legs. "Ang... puti mo talaga, no?" he asked. "Wala kang pores kahit sa legs, Cha?"

Mabilis kong binawi ko iyong legs ko, but he firmly held them over his legs. He looked at me, laughing.

"Buti na lang sobrang sungit mo, no?" he asked. I glared at him. "Because physically, you're perfect... so, there's gotta be a fault here somewhere," he said, pointing at me.

"Naghahanap ka ba ng gulo?"

Tumawa na naman siya. "Cha," tawag niya.

"What?" I said in a crisp tone.

"Let's makeout."

Nanlaki ang mga mata ko. "What?!"

"We're both single. You need to relax. I need to be... distracted," he explained like that was enough.

"Are you drunk?!"

"Sa isang can ng beer? No," he replied.

"You're being weird!"

"No, I'm being honest. I wanna kiss you. I wanna makeout with you. I wanna—pardon my French—fuck you."

I could feel my entire face turning red.

I could hear my heartbeat in my ears!

"Iñigo Borromeo—"

"Is madly attracted to you," he said, cutting me off.

My eyes were still widely opened from what was happening right in front of me. I couldn't even understand what was happening in the movie right now. Ni hindi ko maialis ang tingin ko kay Iñigo.

"If... if you don't want to, I'll just go home and do... something else," he said, staring directly into my eyes. "Consent, okay? It's all about consent. Kung ayaw mo, hindi kita pipilitin. I just want to be finally honest about what I want to do to you... on you... in you..."

My god, his choice of words!

"I'm not sleeping with you, okay? I don't do one night stand."

He shrugged. "Hand stuff, then?"

"What?"

He laughed. "Oh, Cha..."

I glared at him. "You're seriously fucking drunk right now."

He quickly closed the distance between us and planted his lips against mine.

I made a face. "You taste like beer."

He kissed me again. "Hindi na next time, promise."

"Walang next time."

And kissed me again. "Baka mabusog ka kakakain sa sinasabi mo, Cha," he said before changing our position and laying me on the sofa and him laying on top of me. "May iba ka pang kakainin... but maybe that's for next month."