#CTG36 Chapter 36

"Bakit ka laging nandito?" Iñigo asked when he found me on the rooftop again. Naka-upo lang ako sa isang sulok habang naka-tingin sa langit. I merely looked at him and shrugged, but truth was, I just didn't like seeing him in the office. Not that I hated seeing his face, but more like I didn't want to be reminded of what he does for a living.

I felt like a hypocrite for being so bothered dahil alam ko na trabaho lang naman 'yun... That if not him, may iba pa rin namang gagawa... But no words could make me feel less bothered.

"It's quiet," I replied.

He sat beside me and I could feel his eyes on me. Nanatili akong naka-tingin sa langit sa harap ko. Then I felt him resting his head against my shoulder.

"Pahinga muna ako," mahinang sabi niya.

Tahimik kaming dalawa. I could feel how tired he was. Nakaka-pagod naman talaga. Nakaka-pagod iyong trabaho na napili naming gawin. Maybe I was part of the lucky ones... I was only dealing with papers. I was only dealing with words and not people. I never got the chance to deal with the other side of this work.

Maybe someday I will.

But not now.

I didn't have the stomach for it yet.

"Why did you study law?" I asked.

"Bakit interesado ka bigla?" tanong niya habang naka-sandal pa rin sa balikat ko. Hindi ako sumagot. I wouldn't lie if I could afford not to. I believe that lying would result to more lies and frankly speaking, my brain's already at maximum capacity. Ayokong tandaan pa iyong mga kasinungalingan na sasabihin ko.

"Pumasok ako sa law school kasi galit ako nun," he began. "Sobrang minaliit kasi ng mga kamag-anak ko 'yung buong pamilya namin kasi nga namatay si Papa tapos puro utang iniwan sa 'kin. Alam ko naman 'di perfect si Papa pero syempre tatay ko 'yun... Mahal ko 'yun kahit ganon..."

I silently listened to his words and I was reminded again that this was Iñigo. He's not evil... He's just human. He's flawed. His flaws made him more endearing to me. His flaws reminded me that he's real.

"Gusto kong maging lawyer kasi gusto kong patunayan sa kanila na pina-laki ako nang maayos ng magulang ko. Na may mararating ako sa buhay. Kaya kahit nahihirapan na talaga akong mag-aral at magtrabaho ng sabay, ginagawa ko pa rin."

Inalis niya ang pagkaka-sandal at humarap sa akin. I was still facing front. I didn't want to look at his face because that would heavily cloud my judgment.

"Ikaw?" tanong niya. "Bakit gusto mong maging abogado? Isa ka rin ba sa tulad ng iba na pumasok kasi gusto nilang baguhin 'yung mundo?"

I shrugged.

"I don't think so..." I replied. "I went to law school because I know I'd be good at it."

Hindi ako kagaya ni Jax na pumasok sa law school para gumawa ng mabuti. I went to law school because I knew that I'd excel in this field... So, why was I heavily bothered when I, too, didn't go to law school with the best of intentions?

"And you're good at it," Iñigo said.

"I know," I replied, to which he laughed. Hindi ko napigilan ang sarili ko na tumingin sa kanya. He looked so good when he's laughing. Para kasi siyang walang inaalalang problema kahit na alam ko na malayo doon ang totoong nangyayari.

"Are you disappointed?" he asked.

"Saan?"

"Na hindi ako... idealistic?"

"Hindi ako mahilig sa fairytale," sagot ko habang naka-tingin sa mga mata niya. His eyes bore a hole in my being. His eyes could easily hypnotize me.

"Good. Kasi malayo ako kay Prince Charming," he replied, holding both my hands and kissing my knuckles. "Hindi ako perfect, Cha... Marami akong maling ginagawa."

I looked him in the eye instead and held myself back when what I really wanted to ask was if he already knew that what he was doing was wrong, why was he still doing it?

But he's just human.

He's flawed and he's aware. Ano pa ba ang hihilingin ko? At least he's not living in some delusion that he's perfect and he's gonna save the world from burning.

"That's good enough," I said and a small smile appeared on his face. Muling hinatak niya ako palapit at niyakap. Naramdaman ko na naman ang labi niya sa noo ko.

"Free ka mamaya?" he asked.

"Traffic papuntang Tagaytay," I replied because I didn't want to spend my Thursday night in traffic. I'd rather we stay in my condo and watch movie or makeout.

Tumawa siya. I felt the vibrations of his laughter and it calmed my nerves. I just liked hearing him laugh. I felt like I owed him that.

"Hindi," sabi niya. "Papasama sana ako kahit matanda na ako."

"Ano?"

"Sabi mo kasi bata ba ako at nagpapasama ako mag-enroll," he explained. "Samahan mo ko mamaya?"

"San ba?"

"Car dealer."

"Bakit?"

"Pipili akong sasakyan."

"Bakit kailangan kasama ako?"

"Syempre, ikaw laging isasakay ko 'dun e... Tapos ako naman sasakyan mo," he said. I punched his chest kaya napa-ubo siya. Minsan, sasabunin ko na iyong bibig ni Iñigo. I was told that I was already speaking the same way as Iñigo. I hated that we're being so alike already. Ang bastos ng bibig niya.

"Ang sakit nun, ha!" he said when he recovered.

"Ang bastos mo kasi."

He laughed. "Pero seryoso nga? Samahan mo ako mamaya?"

I rolled my eyes. "Fine."

He grinned and kissed my cheek. "Thank you!" he said with much glee. "Di mo itatanong kung bakit kukuha ako ng sasakyan?"

Umiling ako. "I already know why," I mentioned. Lagi kasi siyang pinag-uusapan sa office. Because people didn't know how close we were, they'd often rant to me about Iñigo... Of how he was the favorite of the boss... Of how unfair treatment... Of the outrageous offer to him...

Some people really do not know how to be happy for other people.

Kunot ang noo niya. "Ha? Pano?"

I shrugged. "Congrats."

Ngumiti siya. "Thanks, Cha," he replied. "Ikaw? Dito ka pa rin ba kapag pumasa ka na?"

Tumingin ako sa kanya. I liked working here... but I thought that it would be better if I'd go work somewhere else. Kapag dito ako nagtrabaho, palagi kong makikita si Iñigo kapag nagta-trabaho siya and truth be told, I wasn't the biggest fan of 'professional' Iñigo.

He's ruthless as a professional.

It's like a 360 degree turn from who he was when he's with me.

"Still thinking," I said instead. If I continue working here, I seriously didn't see us in the future. I needed to distance myself professionally for this to work.

Umayos siya nang upo. We were seating and looking at the sky right in front of us. And then I felt him holding my hand.

"Thank you," he said.

"For what?"

"Basta," he replied. "Thank you, Cha."

* * *

"Ano ba'ng pinaka-mahal na sasakyan?" Iñigo loudly wondered habang naka-upo kami sa concrete bench at nagbu-book ako ng sasakyan namin.

"Kailangan ba mahal?"

"Di naman... pero sabi nila kahit ano daw na sasakyan, e," he said, shrugging. "Gusto ko sana Range Rover kaya lang ayoko ng pareho kami ni Jax," he murmured. Napa-iling ako. He's really got problems with Jax. I could see him rolling his eyes every time I'd tell him that I couldn't hang with him dahil kasama ko si Jax.

"What did they offer you?" I asked instead to draw his attention away from Jax. The booking was taking longer than usual and it felt like the universe was forcing me to ask the question that I'd been avoiding for days now.

"Salary, car, condo, stock options after a few years," he casually mentioned like those things didn't cost tens of millions.

"Ano'ng kapalit?" tanong ko.

"What do you mean ano'ng kapalit?" balik niya.

"If the offer's too good to be true, maybe it really is," I casually replied, my eyes on my phone again. I didn't want to villainize Iñigo in my head. I just really wanted him to think this thoroughly before he signs anything.

"May narinig ka na naman ba tungkol sa akin?" tanong niya.

"Tungkol saan?" tanong ko.

I felt him staring at me again. Gone was the light aura he had a while ago. I closed my phone and looked at him. I arched my brow.

"Tungkol saan?" I asked again.

"Sa trabaho ko," sagot niya.

"Ayokong makielam sa trabaho mo," I said. "Your job is your job. It's your business. I just want you to think things through before signing yourself to anything."

His jaw was slightly clenched. I hit a nerve even though I tried my best to tread lightly.

"It's just work, Cha," he said so defensively.

"I know."

"Kung hindi ako, may iba pa ring gagawa."

"Alam ko."

But he was looking at me as if I betrayed him when all I ever did was to defend him against myself.

"We were taught not to judge," he continued. "That everyone deserves to be afforded defense in the court of law."

I looked at him directly. "I know all those things, Iñigo. I'm not judging you for your work. I don't live in a fucking fairytale. I just want you to think things through before deciding. Don't base every decision on financial gain. Money doesn't solve everything."

He pursed his lips.

He drew a deep breath.

"You don't live in a fairytale but you don't believe money solves everything?" he asked incredulously. "Bullshit, Cha. Ang idealistic niyang sinabi mo."

I pursed my lips and looked at him. "I'm not your enemy, Iñigo. Bakit ka nagagalit sa 'kin?"

He clenched his jaw and ran his fingers through his hair. The frustration was very palpable that I could feel it in the air. He looked at me and his eyes turned cold again—kagaya nang nakita ko nang tignan niya lang iyong dalawang babae.

This was the lawyer version of him.

So... cold and unforgiving.

"You're judging me," he said.

"I'm not," I replied.

"You are. Iyang tingin mo... You're judging me."

I pursed my lips. "I'm not judging you. I'm fucking trying to understand you," I said, biting my tongue to stop me from saying more.

"Because I could take all of them judging me. I don't give a fuck about what they thing because they don't know me... Pero ikaw?" he asked and then his jaw clenched once more. "Your opinion matters."

Hindi ako nagsalita.

I didn't have anything good to say.

"If it's still not clear, it's because I have strong fucking feelings for you, Charisse Faith Viste."

I drew a deep breath and stood up.

"I came from a rich dysfunctional family, Iñigo, and if indeed money solves everything, how come I'm not happy?" I asked, looking straight into his eyes. "Stop convincing me that you're not evil when truth is, you want to convince yourself that it's just work."

Muli akong huminga nang malalim.

"Get whatever car you want... Money doesn't impress me," I continued before walking away before he could say something that would really disappoint me.