#CTG42 Chapter 42

"What—"

"I waited for two hours—"

"I didn't agree—"

"You didn't disagree either—"

"Silence cannot be construed as consent. Are you a law-maker now? Did you amend the law—"

But I wasn't able to finish what I was saying because he quickly pulled me and wrapped his arms around me. I felt him relaxing as he rested his chin on top of my head.

"Why are you so stubborn?" he whispered. "Why can't you just let me see you?"

Nanatili lang akong naka-tayo roon. Paulit-ulit. I knew he liked me—the feeling was mutual... but that wasn't the problem and he knew that. We're just running in circle here.

"Cha," pagtawag niya.

"What?"

"Graduation ko sa June... Tinatanong na ako kung ilang ticket 'yung bibilin ko..."

I pursed my lips.

"Do you want me to come?"

"Of course."

"You're just making this harder—"

"I know," he said, cutting me off. "I know what your problem is with me... And believe me, I'm trying my best to fix that..."

I remained silent.

If it only were that easy...

But I was pretty sure that he already signed the contract and he's legally obligated to stay in the company. Unless he wanted to violate his contract, there's pretty much nothing he could do...

And I couldn't blame him for that.

The choice had already been made.

"Is that enough?" he asked, barely audibly.

I remained silent. I didn't want to make promises. I knew I liked him... but I also knew that I didn't want to be in a relationship with him...

I felt like I was finally exposed to a different environment—one that made me see what I really wanted to have. I'd been able to live a comfortable life for a long time, but that didn't really make me happy. That made me feel so inadequate...

But Iñigo? He'd had a hard life. He's taking everything back right now. And that's his decision. Tanggap ko na.

At the end of the day, we wanted different things.

I wanted to be just friends, but I knew that he'd never go for it. Sinabi niya na sa akin iyon. That I could never be just his friend... And I didn't know what his plan was, but that's not my problem anymore. I was about to start the next chapter of my life—me being a lawyer. I needed to focus all my energy on that and that alone.

When Iñigo released me from his hug, I grabbed the key at lumabas ako. Naka-sunod lang siya sa akin. I felt bad that he waited for me, but I really didn't agree to his forced invitation. Sinabi ko naman sa kanya na marami akong kailangang gawin dahil may mga job interview na ako.

Sometimes, I really did think that he has selective listening.

"Please get a haircut," I said because I noticed that his hair was already long. He'd always had that clean cut. Medyo mahaba na iyong buhok niya.

"Samahan mo ako?"

"May ginagawa nga ako, 'di ba?"

His face fell again.

But he was quick to place a smile on his face.

"Saan interview mo? Samahan na kita."

"May trabaho ka."

"Ano'ng oras?" he asked again. Selective hearing.

"9am," I replied.

"Kailan 'yun?"

"Next week pa, Monday."

"Okay. Nandun na ako ng 8am."

I didn't respond anymore. Bahala na siya.

When we finished our food, we walked back to my condo. Iñigo didn't try to go up with me to the unit. Nagpaalam ako nang maayos sa kanya.

The next few days went by with me not hearing anything from Iñigo except for the mandatory good morning, good evening texts. Hindi ko rin naman masyadong napansin dahil busy ako sa pag-update ng CV ko. I just wanted everything to be perfect.

But come Thursday, I was informed na nasa lobby sina Gracey. Out of curiosity, I got down... and was surprised nang makita ko na kasama niya si Rhys—who looked like he'd rather be anywhere but here.

"Hi, Cha! Congrats again!" bati ni Gracey nang yakapin niya ako. I hugged her back. Gracey's one of the people I really like, although I have no plan of ever telling her that. There's just something about her that's really likeable.

"Thank you," I said with a small smile. Napa-tingin ako kay Rhys na binati rin ako habang may maliit na ngiti sa mukha niya. It had been a while since I last saw him dahil hindi rin naman kami madalas na nagkikita sa office noon dahil nasa magka-ibang floor kami... He looked so tired... but I guessed that came with the territory.

"Come on," Gracey said after she elbowed her twin.

Naka-kunot ang noo ko habang naka-tingin sa kanilang dalawa. Rhys rolled his eyes at his twin sister. Seriously, these two... but I kinda envied them. At least they're close. Hindi kami ganito ng mga kapatid ko. We're just related by blood, but the relation ended there.

"Ako na nga!" Gracey said, glaring at Rhys.

"I should've never told you," Rhys replied.

"Well, I'd hate you if you didn't, so you still made the right call," Gracey said, glaring, still.

I was still standing there, unable to understand what was unveiling right before me. But this had got to do something with me because they're here... Kaya naman tahimik akong naghintay hanggang sa magsimula si Gracey.

"Cha," Gracey said. "Iñigo tried to quit his job and I think his company's going to sue him—"

"What?"

"You know I'll never blame you for Iñigo's decision kasi malaki na 'yun, but can you please talk to him kasi sa 'yo lang makikinig 'yun... Rhys said na sabi raw ni Iñigo if hindi siya papayagang magresign, he'd rather do bad on the BAR kasi nasa provision daw na kailangang nasa top siya."

I felt like air was knocked out of my chest.

Nasisiraan na ba ng bait si Inigo?

Gracey continued to talk, but it was as if I couldn't hear a word that she said. All I could think about was how badly this would affect Iñigo. Our world was impossibly small... He'd have a bad record kapag nagresign siya nang ganito...

And if he'd purposely do bad on the BAR...

That's... unbelievably stupid.

Napa-tigil ako sa iniisip ko nang maramdaman kong hinawakan ni Gracey ang kamay ko. She was looking at me like I was the key to fix it all. I knew that I'd talk to Iñigo, but it's not as if I could control him.

"Will you please talk to him?" Gracey asked.

"Of course," I replied.

I was glad they went here and told me about Iñigo's plan. God, what was he thinking? Iyon ba ang sinabi niya na inaayos niya? He planned on violating his contract? That's his brilliant plan?

"Can I talk to Rhys?" tanong ko kay Gracey. She just nodded before leaving us. Nang maiwan kaming dalawa ay agad kong tinanong kay Rhys kung ano ang nangyayari kay Iñigo. He told me that Iñigo's performing poorly as of the recent. Biglang sumakit ang ulo ko dahil alam ko na ako ang dahilan kung bakit ginagawa ni Iñigo iyon. He also told me that Iñigo gave back the company car and the condo and he's currently living with them sa bahay dahil hindi pa siya nakaka-hanap ng titirhan.

Seriously.

Para akong may alagang bata.

"I really think it's a stupid mistake," Rhys said. "He's the favorite there and a lot of people are pissed at him because he's not a lawyer yet mas maraming pinapa-hawak sa kanya."

I remained silent. Iñigo's brilliance wasn't something I questioned. That's a given.

"What will happen if he quits?" I asked.

"He'll piss a lot of people and lose probably his entire life savings paying penalties."

"Other alternative?"

"Well, he can flunk the BAR—"

"Not an option," I quickly replied. If I had to fucking threaten Iñigo to stop him from sabotaging his exam, I'd do it. He's too smart to waste it.

"Gaano pa ba katagal 'yung contract niya?"

"Until after the result of his BAR," Rhys replied. "Conditional 'yung contract niya upon the result."

That's one year from now.

"But he's really determined to quit now," Rhys continued. "He kept on telling the partners that he wants to focus on reviewing and they actually told him that he'd have a lighter load, but the asshole is keen on quitting," Rhys said and looked at me. "And I have a feeling that you have something to do with the sudden quitting."

Of course.

Because of me.

This was my responsibility—albeit unwanted.

"Just... tell him not to quit," Rhys said. "He's really good at his job and he's on the fast track to being a junior partner..." He paused. "I'm not even Iñigo's biggest fan, but I don't want him to lose this opportunity. Sayang."

My mind was on a haywire. I just said goodbye to them. I wasn't able to focus the whole night. I kept on thinking about a solution where Iñigo's wouldn't end up sacrificing his future because there's no way I'd allow him to do that.

If he tops the BAR—which I was sure he will—he'd have to continue the contract.

If he didn't—he'd still lose opportunities because let's face it, there are better opportunities for the topnotchers.

God, this was impossible.

* * *

When Monday came, Iñigo was here on the dot. But he didn't bring his Audi. It was a different car—looked familiar... Maybe it was Gracey's or Rhys'. Unimportant.

"Good morning," Iñigo greeted, handing me a cup of coffee. Bagong gupit siya. Naka-ngiti na parang hindi nasa peligro ang career niya sa mga desisyon na ginagawa niya.

We were quiet while we were in the car. I didn't ask any question. I was trying to collect myself. Nang huminto kami sa isang cafe malapit sa building para maghintay, tumingin ako sa kanya.

"I heard you tried to quit."

"Who told you that?"

"So, you're not denying."

Umiwas siya ng tingin.

"Don't be stupid," I said. "You know you'll have to pay penalty if you quit. Binasa mo naman siguro 'yung contract na pinirmahan mo?"

Hindi pa rin siya nagsasalita.

"Iñigo," I called his name. "Look at me."

He snapped his head back. God, he's so stubborn!

"I wanna quit—"

"Why?"

"Because that's the only way—"

"For God's sake, if you say that it's the only way to be with me, then you're an even bigger idiot than I think you are!" I said with controlled anger. He's making my head ache!

"That's the reason why you're insisting we have that stupid contract!"

I closed my eyes as I drew a deep breath.

"You listen to me, okay?" I asked, looking straight into his eyes. "I never asked you to quit. I perfectly understand that in the career we both chose, there are times we'd have to be on the other side... and that's something I'd accepted a long time ago. My problem is that you seem so okay with it. You're justifying it! That's my problem! Naiintindihan mo ba ako?"

Hindi pa rin siya maka-sagot.

I could feel my hands shaking.

I was so frustrated at him.

"Tapos ka na?" tanong niya habang naka-tingin sa akin. Hindi ako maka-galaw.

His eyes...

He looked like he's about to cry again and I wanted to reach for his face, but I held myself back.

"I understand you; I really do... But please listen to me now," he said. I remained sitting there, just staring at him. "You've been working what? For almost a year? More than a year? You work with papers... I'd been working there for almost 4 years now, Cha. Nung nagsimula ako, ganyan din naman ako. Akala mo ba hindi ako nasusuka sa mga ginagawa ko? Akala mo wala akong konsensya?" he asked and visibly wiped the tears that formed on his eyes. "But I had to ignore my conscience because that's the only way to survive. You tell me money is the root of all evil? Well, Cha, without money, I'd starve to fucking death. Ano ba'ng choice ang meron ako? 'Yang choice na 'yan, para lang 'yan sa may pera."

His hands were shaking terribly.

His eyes were red with uncontrolled emotion.

"I have a conscience... but I chose survival," he said. "But I'm done. I'm quitting. Tama ka naman... Alam ko naman na mali ako pero ginagawa ko pa rin kasi tangina, gusto ko naman ng maayos na buhay. Ayokong mamatay ng walang pera. Ayokong mamatay na puro utang na loob sa pamilya nila Gracey. Ayokong mamatay na walang napatunayan sa mga kamag-anak ko."

He drew a deep breath.

"Pero bakit ba iniisip ko lahat ng sasabihin nila? Pakielam ko ba? Mas gusto kita. Ikaw 'yung gusto ko. Sigurado ako. Kaya magreresign ako. I already know what I'll do, Cha, so please don't worry about me."

"Iñigo—"

He looked at his watch. Iyong dati niyang relo nung nasa school pa kami. The Rolex was gone...

"15 minutes na lang, start na ng interview mo," he said, wiping the tears from his eyes as he smiled at me. "Umakyat ka na. Pangit kapag late ka."

But I didn't move.

"If you still want to talk, I'd be here after... Wala naman na akong trabaho."

I drew a deep breath.

"Please don't make stupid decisions," I said.

"They say people do stupid things for love..." he said as he smiled at me. "I guess this one's mine."