The next day, when we get to our classroom, Shizuku-san's desk is gone. The empty spot in the grid of desks stands out as if all the other desks were pointing to it. Shizuku-san stands there staring at the floor with a puzzled look. The expression surprises me. I knew the shinigami could not feel love, but I'd begun to think it didn't feel any emotion at all. Now that it is walking around in human form, might it experience real human emotions? Could it actually learn to feel love? How can I draw those emotions out?

Takasagi-sensei enters the room and the class representative calls us to rise, bow and greet the teacher. The shinigami remains standing while we sit. Sensei looks up and frowns at Shizuku-san. "Shizuku-san, where is your desk?"

"Don't know."

"You better go find it then."

Shizuku-san slowly scans the room as if the desk might have merely been misplaced, then looks at the teacher. "OK."

Taksagi-sensei makes a dismissive wave and Shizuku-san leaves the room. We can hear the shinigami interrupt the classroom next door and ask if its desk is there. Hanashita-san and her friends laugh out loud until Sensei silences them with a scowl.

It is not long until an announcement directs the teachers to report to the staff room after first period.

"That's not cool," Watanabe-san rumbles in his deep voice.

"No." I nod toward Hanashita-san. "I wonder how far they'll take this?"

"Jealous and vengeful teenage girls aren't exactly known for their restraint."

Shizuku-san does not returned by lunchtime.

When fourth period ends, I get up and pushed my desk over next to the girls.

Shimura-san looks at my head and smiles. "I like your haircut, Michi-kun."

"Uh, thanks." I have to admit it is a nice cut. It has a stylishly messy look that draws attention without looking like it is trying to draw attention to itself. Although it looks nice, it has the unfortunate side-effect of drawing attention to me. I've been trying to ignore the staring and comments from my classmates all morning.

"I know, right?" Kioko-chan runs her fingers through my hair. I pull away, my face burning.

Himura-san looks up in surprise. "What? He got a haircut?"

Shimura-san turns on her. "How could you not notice?"

"I just thought he forgot to comb it."

Shimura-san brushes back Himura-san's chin-length hair, exposing a face that was cuter than I expected. "You should pay more attention to your appearance as well. You'd get a boyfriend in no time."

Himura-san slaps her hand away. "I told you I'm not interested in that anymore."

"I warned you that Tachibana-san wasn't serious about your relationship."

Kioko-chan leans into the conversation. "What is this? An ex-boyfriend?"

"Yes." Shimura-san laughs.

'No!" Himura-san says.

"When?" Kioko-chan asks.

Shimura-san puts her hand up to the side of her mouth as if sharing a secret. "First year of junior high."

"I was only a little interested in him."

"So why did you swear off boys and join the basketball club?"

"Those things are unrelated!"

Glad that I'm no longer the center of attention, I quietly eat my lunch until the classroom door slides open. I look up as several girls say, "Eh?"

Shizuku-san enters the room. The shinigami's uniform blouse is partially untucked and smudged with dirt and leaves. It carries the desk in as if it were no heavier than a lunch tray, even though it must have taken three or four girls to carry out. A distinct smell of manure follows Shizuku-san in and the other students recoil. Hanashita-san and her friends make a big deal of pinching their noses and trying to wave the smell away.

"Where did you find it?" one of Hanashita-san's friends calls out.

Unaware of the mocking tone of the question, Shizuku-san replies seriously. "Buried in a compost heap behind the agriculture club's building.

Many of the girls shout, "Ewww!"

I find myself growing irritated. Their teasing is a little like kicking a puppy. Shizuku-san has no idea of how to defend against them because she doesn't really understand what's going on. Then I remember she's not human. It is a shinigami.

Takasagi-sensei sends Shizuku-san away to clean up. Hanashita-san and her friends alternate between shouts of mock disgust and laughter until sensei has to raise his voice to quiet them. I shake my head and look back at Kioko-chan who is studying my face and frowning.

* * *

Shizuku-san returns sometime later looking clean and wearing what appears to be a brand new shool uniform. It ignores the snickering girls, enters and sits at its desk as if nothing had happened. Kioko-chan casts thoughful glances Shizuku-san's way throughout the rest of the period. In the break between classes, she approaches Shizuku-san.

"Shizuku-san, I would like to ask you something. Would you meet me outside after school?"

"Why?"

"We can discuss that outside."

"Why outside?"

Kioko-chan glances around her. The other students grow quiet and are carefull to appear as if they aren't listening. "It's a private matter."

"If you are concerned for my feelings, you needn't be."

Kioko-chan looks around again and suddenly the other students busy themselves with their books and papers. She takes a breath and a determined look crosses her face. "You know Michi-kun and I have a special relationship..." She pauses, but Shizuku-san replys with only a questioning look.

"We share a closeness with each other that we do not share with other people..."

Shizuku-san continues to stare at her expressionlssly.

"...people like you."

"What are you trying to say?"

"I just told you!"

"What?"

Kioko-chan slaps a hand down on Shizuku-san's desk. "Being close to Michi-kun is a privelege that only his girlfriend can enjoy! You need to put more distance between the two of you."

The two stare at each other silently for a moment before Shizuku-san responds, "You said you have a question for me."

"Do you understand what I'm saying?"

"Yes."

Kioko-chan straightens and crosses her arms authoritatively. "So you will back off?"

"No."

"What?"

"This must observe Ametsuchi-san so he can show love."

Kioko-chan reels back in shock. The other classmates give up pretending they can't hear and turn surprised faces on the pair. Kioko-chan's voice sounds strangely faint as she replies. "So this is a declaration of war?"

"No. there would be no point in fighting you. I collect souls. You could not even challenge me."

I cringe at my desk, shaking my head. There is no way Kioko-chan would not see that as anything but a declaration of Shizuku-san's intention to steal me away. But there is no way I can explain the misunderstanding to her without explaining who Shizuku-san is. That would require telling her that she had died in the bus crash and might only have a few more months to live unless I can make Shizuku-san fall in love with me. I doubt she'd believe me, but if she did, she'd spend the rest of her days in a panic.

Kioko-chan walks back to her desk, her head bowed.

"Are you going to take that?" Himura-san asks in a loud whisper.

Will this stalemate ever end? I suddenly feel defeated and depressed.

We skip clubs after school and Kioko-chan drags me back to her house for dinner. She quietly clings to me until her father drives me home and then only because I refuse to spend the night there. I don't know how long this can continue without her finding out.

* * *

I sit in my room at my desk, staring at my homework without really seeing it, waiting for the other shoe to drop. As if reading my thoughts, a portal tears itself open in my room and Shizuku-san steps through.

"We have another soul to collect. This is a strong one. It may be difficult to capture."

I whirl on Shizuku-san ready to demand that we stop this farce. I'm tired of being dragged around. Neither of us are going to change our opinion anyway...but I know the shinigami will insist I first agree with it. These trips are going to continue for as long as our disagreement continues. I rise in resignation and follow it through the portal.

The shinigami leads the way through Yomi. It walks with confidence, convinced that it understands love and human emotions, yet it is completely unaware of the commotion it has left behind at school.

"You caused quite the misunderstanding today in class."

"How?"

"Kioko-chan now thinks you intend to take her place as my girlfriend."

It doesn't even flinch. "Why would she think that?"

"Because of what you said. She thinks you're in love with me."

The shinigami walks awhile in silence, and turns down a different bridge. "I will explain that that is not possible."

"Because love does not exist?"

"Yes."

"I don't think that will make anything better."

"Why?"

"Because she will think that you are saying that she doesn't love me—or that I don't love her."

"But that is true."

"And she will think you're saying this because you want to take her place."

"Then I will have to explain to her that love doesn't exist for anyone."

"I think it would be best if you didn't talk to her."

"Very well."

"And I think it would be best if you didn't talk to me at school either."

"If you wish."

We step out of the portal into a small run-down apartment. The stench of blood is overpowering and my stomach spasms as it tries to throw up my dinner. Somehow, perhaps because of all the horrors I've already been through, I manage to keep it down, though I'm forced to breath through my mouth and not think too much about the sight before me.

A woman's half-naked body lies sprawled across the living room floor. It has been hacked into a bloody mess and I can only tell it was a woman by the long hair and the shreds of her dress. Blood has splattered out from her in all directions as if she lay at the center of a giant red flower. On a nearby couch, the body of a heavy middle-aged man sits with a knife in his chest. Blood has dyed his clothes a solid red up to just below his shoulders.

"What happened here?" I choke, swallowing hard to keep my food down.

"You could say love happened here."

"Love?"

"This man loved his wife with an overwhelming passion. He knew he was not worthy of her and feared the day she would realize that and leave him. Fear turned to paranoia and, thinking she was cheating on him, he killed her when he thought he was losing her. Then, unable to live without her, he killed himself."

"I fail to see how this has anything to do with love."

"Precisely."

"You're just keep making these irrelevant—"

A new voice interrupts us. "Why?"

I look up and see the spirit of the woman standing on the other side of the room. She is a little younger than the man on the couch and wears a simple plain yukata. She looks up at us with a stunned and pleading expression. "Why?"

I feel a strong impulse to answer her, to respond to her shocked grief, but I have no words to offer. What answer could explain this?

"Your husband's fear overcame him."

I look at Shizuku-san, still in her new school uniform, standing calmly in a pool of blood, and I feel just as puzzled as the spirit looks.

"His marriage to you validated his sense of self-worth. His fear of losing you was a direct attack on that, so he struck back."

"But why?" the spirit repeats insistantly.

"Because he was a man."

I am surprised by the note of bitterness in Shizuku-san's reply. The temperature in the room drops and a weight falls upon the air. A dark portal rips open behind the spirit.

"It is time for you to go."

The spirit just looks up at the shinigami with an expression of silent pleading.

Tentacles of darknesss reach out and surround her. They tighten as if pulling on her but she doesn't move.

"No."

"You cannot remain here."

The spirit steps forward, leaning against her bonds which start to tear. One by one, they break off and fade, the remaining stub snapping back to the portal. "I must first have an answer. Why did I have to die?"

"You will find no answer here. You no longer belong to this world."

The spirit starts to look angry. I brace myself for its transformation into a yokai to begin. More streamers of darkness shoot out and envelop her completely, but she continues pushing through them. "This isn't right!"

"No," the shinigami agrees, sounding almost regretful. "It is not."

"Where is he?" The spirit pushes her head through the surrounding darkness and looks around the room. "Where is my husband? I want to hear his explanation."

"He is not here. Those who embrace death can find their way to Yomi without the help of a shinigami."

"So who is going to make this right!" the spirit shouts.

I cringe expecting the spirit's change into a yokai to be sudden and violent.

The remaining streamers of darkness release the spirit and withdraw into the portal. The shinigami looks at her for a moment as if thinking, then says softly. "Nothing can be done about this life—you cannot return to it. Only King Yama knows what can be done after this."

The spirit stops and looks down at her own mutilated body. "The ruler of the land of the dead, eh?" After a moment of silence, she sighs and looks up. "Well, I didn't really want to go back to that life anyway." She turns around and, walking toward the portal, fades into nothingness before she makes it halfway there.

"That is unfortunate." The shinigami starts toward the portal. "She would have made a strong shinigami."

"What?" I hurry after it. "What do you mean she would have made a strong shinigami?"

The shinigami steps through onto the bridge that carries us over the multitude of dead. I wonder if that woman is now down below with the others crying out for help or if she found her way to this King Yama person and whether he could or would help her.

"Only the strongest of spirits with an unbreakable will can become shinigami, but she has already moved on to whatever awaits her next."

The shock of revelation freezes me in place. This can't be possible. "Shinigami are people? The souls of people?"

The shinigami looks over it's shoulder. "Of course."

"So that means you were once a person too?"

It stops walking and slowly turns a puzzled frown on me. "That would seem to be the case."