Chapter 5

I took Yani's advice to heart. Tuesday rolled in and I pretended like I wasn't having a crisis. When I went to physics, I ignored Wesley and focused on the work. I went to lunch with Yani and she complained like always. In graphic design, Oscar came back. Apparently he suddenly got a nasty stomach ache yesterday and couldn't come. We still managed to catch up on the time lost from our project, and we talked about Sorhinsky's party. He still wasn't sure if he'd go.

When PE came up, I almost let my cool demeanor slip. Luckily, the nurse had done me a favor and told the coaches to not let me run outside since it would probably worsen my stress. That lady is so cool. My coach wasn't too happy about it, but what could he do? There was still a compromise, though, and I ended up spending the period working out in the weight room. I hadn't seen Eli once.

U.S. History was U.S. History, and just like that the school day was over. Yani took me home, I did some homework, I had dinner and then I was in bed to rest for the night. I still couldn't believe it was that easy. Yani was right. Shit, she's always right, even when I don't want her to be.

Wednesday was just the same. I still ignored Wesley; I still stayed with Yani at lunch, I still talked with Oscar, I still used the weight room, and I still never saw Eli the entire day. And I did all of this with a collected mind.

Thursday got a bit dicey, though. My Spanish teacher wanted me to deliver some papers to another teacher down the hall. I hurried along to the right classroom and walked in. It was an Algebra 2 class (apparently the teacher there also taught some classes for Spanish speaking kids) and I spotted Eli sitting at the back of the room. Luckily, he was working on some equations so we didn't make eye contact. I avoided looking at him after that. I just walked in, delivered the papers, then walked out like nothing was wrong. I briefly wondered if he noticed me at all, but set the thought aside and went back to class. Other than that incident, Thursday was mild.

Wesley hasn't done anything to spill my secret. I know this because shit hasn't hit the fan. I had thought maybe he gave up, but knew him all too well to think that. He's just lying low until he gets the perfect chance to humiliate me and ruin my life. He will do it eventually, just not yet.

Gradually, the day's had gotten quicker and easier to bear. Before I knew it, it was finally Friday. People were talking about the Sorhinsky party left and right. Yani was excited for tomorrow and Oscar, at the last minute, finally agreed to go. But despite what Yani said about staying positive, I was unsure of going now.

I mentioned this reluctance to her when she hung out at my house for a little while. She was eating some leftover kimchi I made and nearly choked when I told her I almost didn't want to go to the party.

"Calvin," she started, putting on that arguing face, "you have to go."

"Yani, I barely got through school. At a house party, there are no rules. No student guidelines, no security guards. If Wesley or Eli show up, it's just going to be utter Hell."

"That's why you'll stick with me," she said.

"Yani.."

"Please, Calvin," she pleaded kindly, "It's a senior party. I'm sure everyone will be too busy getting drunk and trying to get a date that no one will notice you! It'll be a big party, too, so the odds of running into anyone bad could be slim."

"Could be," I emphasized her.

Her eyebrow twitched and she went on. "Calvin, since when are you so hesitant to do crazy shit?"

"Since my reputation as a student and as a law abiding citizen has gotten close to tarnishing," I replied.

She sighed and set down her fork on the table. "C'mon, Calvin. Please? It'll suck without you. How about this, if you start to feel uncomfortable at Sorhinsky's place, tell me and I'll take you home straight away. I'll even go home, too. As bad as your situation is, I don't want you hiding away like a hermit scared of everything."

"That's not how I'm gonna turn out," I argued.

"You will, and you'll feel miserable," she stated so surely. I'd be very pissed off and would start arguing with her more, if I didn't feel that deep down she was right. I do want to go to the party, and I don't want to be scared anymore.

"If I tell you I'm uncomfortable, don't even think to second guess me," I said.

She gave me a sweet smile and replied, "Of course, I won't second guess you. You have my word."

"Good," I started, "now quit hogging all of the kimchi."

•••

I waited for Yani to text me.

I was already dressed to go to Sorhinsky's party: wore a blue jacket, white pull-over sweater as a shirt, black pants and my high-top shoes. (They're zebra print and don't go with half the things I wear. Yani gets so annoyed by them. I love annoying her.)

After sitting around playing with my phone, Yani finally called me to tell me she was outside. I groaned "finally" to her and she cussed me out before hanging up.

I double checked to see if I had my house keys and phone, then left my room to say bye to my parents.

"You stay safe, okay?," Appa told me. "If anything happens, call us."

"Jaemi," (have fun) Umma told me and kissed my cheek.

I walked out the front door and jogged over to Yani's car, which was parked at the curb. "Ready?," she asked as I hopped into the passenger seat.

Looking at her, I was stunned by how she looked. Her makeup looked more on-point than usual, and she wore a flowy, pink blouse with white jeans, and khaki, suede shoes. Her black hair cascaded over her shoulders, looking silky and glossy as ever. If I wasn't gay, she'd be mine. She still is, in a way. I'm always gonna be her number 1 boy friend.

"I'm ready," I replied. She flashed me a bright smile before putting the car out of park and driving down the street.

•••

The party was certainly big like everyone said it would be. Christian Sorhinsky lives in one of the wealthier neighborhoods. His house is perfect for parties, since it's big and is spaced out from the other houses. Few neighbors will complain and people can get as stupid as they want. Well, until the word "police" is mentioned.

A lot of people were there but it wasn't hard to find a place to park. Yani parked the car on the side opposite of Sorhinsky's house, little ways down the street. We walked together and I was feeling a little nervous. For one, I haven't been to a party like this in a while, and two, I've got two intimidating guys out for my head. What a grand ol' time.

Teens hung out on the porch and I said hi to a few that I recognized from school. When Yani and I walked in, we were instantly greeted by loud dance music and a crowd of people in the foyer. We managed to slip inside and closed the door behind us. As we stood trying to figure out a way to maneuver through the sea of moving bodies, a hand touched my shoulder and I freaked out for a second.

Luckily, it wasn't Wesley nor Eli, but Christian Sorhinsky himself. He was a brown haired, fair skinned, hazel eyed guy with smooth and chiseled features. His smile was big as he yelled over the music, "Calvin Tae! It's good to see you again!"

Letting my nerves ease, I smiled back and said, "Likewise, Christian."

He looked over at Yani and waved hello. "Heya, Yani! You're looking pretty as always.

"Oh, thank you," she chimed, and I rolled my eyes at her.

I don't know how Christian Sorhinsky likes me. We barely run into each other, considering he's a senior and not like me at all. I guess he likes me because of that one time I saved his little sister from getting run over by a bus. (She was about to step off the sidewalk to cross the street but she went at the wrong time. At the time, back in sophomore year, I was walking to a nearby ice cream shop for some ice cream. I grabbed her just before a bus came rushing past us. Afterwards, I even bought her ice cream with the money that was meant for me. I guess that's a good enough reason to like me.)

"Nice turn-up you've got here," I commented to him.

He looked around at all of the people and responded, "I know right? This is awesome. I'm glad so many people came. I'm sure they're mostly in it for the booze, but still! This is one hell of a senior-going-away party."

"It sucks that this is your last year," Yani stated sadly.

"I know.. But it's been fun. I'm gonna enjoy every moment I've got before I head off to college. When I get there, it'll be nothing but studying for me," Christian replied with a confident grin.

"Pretty admirable of you, man," I remarked.

"Thanks, Tae!," he said as he clapped my shoulder, "Ah, I shouldn't keep you two waiting long. Go ahead and hang out. Get a few drinks. Enjoy the night!"

"See ya, Christian," I said as I waved him off. He disappeared with the crowd, leaving Yani and I together again.

"Well," she started, "let's have some fun, shall we?"

"Lead the way, m'lady."

We walked around, taking in the scenes of teens dancing, drinking, talking or making out together. The music nearly drowned out every noise. A few people would recognize us and say hello. A group of girls invited Yani and I to hang out with them at the couch, though I knew they were only interested in her. The girls drank and offered Yani a cup. She declined, saying she was driving tonight, and that I'd drink for her. There's no way I'm doing that. Last time I drank at a party, my head felt like it was gonna explode. I also ended up licking some bald dude's head? (I don't even know and don't want to remember it.)

Yani, giving in, decided to take sips of drinks. Even though she said that was it, I knew it wasn't. I prepared myself for the worst.

After a while of listening to the girls chat about random things like Facebook drama, they all decided to go to the restroom together. "I'll be back, Calvin," Yani told me as one girl dragged her away. I stayed sitting on the couch, alone and waiting. As I watched bodies pulsate around me, a familiar figure came walking up to me.

"Oscar, you made it!," I exclaimed happily, standing up to greet him. "I thought you'd bail at the last minute."

"I'm not that much of a shut-in, Tae," he chuckled. Looking at him, he was wearing a grey looking jacket, jeans, old converse shoes, and a T-shirt that had The X-Files logo on it. The true epitome of geek and nerd stood in front of me.

"When did you get here?," I asked him.

"I've actually been here for almost ten minutes," he answered, "I've been looking for you. So many people here."

"I know. S'crazy.."

Suddenly, his expression turned bashful and he asked, "I-Is Yani here, too?"

"Oh yeah," I replied, "she wouldn't miss a party like this. She's in the restroom with other girls. She should be back soon." After staring at him for a few moments, I smirked and suggested, "Hey, why don't you go and get a drink for Yani? When she comes back from the bathroom, you can give it to her. She'll appreciate the gesture."

"Really? That doesn't sound too bad.."

"Yup. Just don't get her beer," I warned him.

With a goofy smile, he said, "O-Okay. I'll be right back then."

He hurried off out of the room, towards wherever the kitchen was. He's such a goofball. Sucks that Yani doesn't appreciate how much of a dunce he becomes to do things for her. He'd probably sell his damn kidney for her. Well, maybe he wouldn't be that extreme, but still...

As I sat down, still waiting for Yani to show up, I grew bored. It's situations like this where I regret not making any good friends. Now I'm stuck waiting for a Hispanic diva and a pasty nerd.

My phone suddenly vibrated in my pocket and I pulled it out. Upon seeing my lock-screen, I saw Wesley's contact name. Great.

I opened the message to see what he sent me. My heart rate started to pick up speed, nearly overpowering the best of the electronic music, when I saw a picture of me sitting on the couch I'm on right now. Under the photo, Wesley said: someone a little lonely?

Immediately, I stood up from the couch, scanning the room for that stupid head of blonde hair. I couldn't find Wesley.

Nervous and scared, I started to walk away from the couch. Oscar ran into me, holding a cup of booze, and asked, "Hey, where are you going?"

"I, uh, I just need some fresh air," I lied, "Too warm in here, ya know?"

"What about Yani?"

I patted his shoulder and said, "You keep an eye on her for me while I'm out. I'll be back soon. Tell her I asked you to hang with her, okay? See ya."

"T-Tae," he stammered my last name, but I was already on the move.

I managed to find the sliding glass doors that led to the spacious backyard. People were already outside, hanging out by an outdoor hearth, singing songs, playing games. I stepped out into the cool night air and took in a deep breath. Before anyone could talk to me, I hurried to the side of the house to chill out there for a while. Thankfully, no one was hanging out at the left side and I sat on the ground alone. I hoped Wesley didn't see me come out here and follow me.

Leaning my head on top of my arms, which rested on top of my knees, I took this time to breathe properly. The weather wasn't that bad. The grass under me was well kept. Music thumped inside the big house. Things seemed normal.

The sound of footsteps and crunching grass came from my left and I sighed. "Hey, could you give me some space? I'm trying to--." My words got caught in my throat as my whole body froze.

Standing over me, hands in his pocket, scowl as signature as ever, was Eli Gateman. He had come to the party. And now he's probably gonna beat the shit out of me.

I couldn't talk, and all I did was stare. He wouldn't look away either. His black hair fell a little into his eyes, and I would think to myself 'damn he looks handsome right now', if it weren't for the threat of losing my life right here and now.

In a quiet, deep voice that I barely hear, he said to me, "Hey. We need to talk."

I managed a smile and chuckled lightly. "Y-Yeah, sure," I started, "Let me just get up and--."

As soon as I got to my feet, I bolted towards the front of the house. With a strength that I didn't know I had, instead of opening the wood gate, I fuckin' climbed over it, then leaped down. (Holy shit.) My landing wasn't graceful as I fell over onto my side. Teens that hung out on the lawn stared at me, but I ignored them and kept running.

My heart was racing as I ran for the front door. I needed to find Yani and tell her to take me home now...! Yet, as soon as I opened the front door, I was greeted with the sight of a guy with blonde hair and piercing, blue eyes.

"Hey there, Creep! You look a little pale. Why don't you come inside and have a few drinks to warm you up?," Wesley said. Before I knew it, two of his buddies were pushing me along through the house. I've never been so scared in my life. Oh god, oh god, oh god.

Wesley and his friends led me to the dining table, where a few people were sitting together playing spin-the-bottle.

"Have a seat, Calvin," Wesley said as he pulled up a chair for me. Without giving me a moment to refuse, he sat me down and scooted me so far in the edge of the table poked against the bottom of my rib cage.

Wesley went towards the head of the table and announced, "Alright then, now that we have another player, let's start the game, shall we?" Everyone chimed in, eager to play. I was not.

He spun the empty, green wine bottle and it landed on a guy sitting on the other side of the table. Apparently the game was a mix of spin-the-bottle, and Truth-or-Dare. Whoever the bottle pointed at had to pick a Truth or a Dare, and the person before you had to ask you Truth questions or give you a Dare.

A few people went before me, and the girl sitting next to me had to do a dare to kiss the guy across from her. She did so, and everyone cheered.

Eventually, the bottle landed on me and people chanted, "Creep, Creep, Creep", at me. Unfortunately, Wesley was the one who got picked before me. He grabbed the bottle from the table and asked me, "Alright, Calvin, Truth...or Dare?" Glancing up at his face, I could see the mischievous glint in his eyes. What I wouldn't give to just smack him once...

Knowing I shouldn't pick Dare, since Wesley would have me do something utterly stupid, I picked Truth.

I immediately knew I had still fucked up when his grin grew wider. He rubbed his chin and said, "Alright, let's see. Is it true...that you took nude photos of a fellow student in the boys' locker-room?"

Everyone got quiet and all eyes were on me. My heart wanted to fucking dive-bomb into the floor and I tried hard not to show it. Remembering what Yani told me, I stared Wesley dead in the eyes and said, "No."

His grin faltered a bit and he pressed on, "Are you sure..?"

"Yeah, positive."

"Positive? Really?"

"If I didn't know any better, I'd say you're really excited about the idea of candid, nude pictures," I remarked, and people murmured quietly.

Despite how his eyes flared, he kept his cool demeanor and said, "I don't swing that way, Creep."

"Eh, it's not that bad! There's a reason why the male G-spot is up the ass!"

"You're disgusting," he hissed, trying to keep his smile.

"Guilty as charged," I said nonchalantly. The girl next to me giggled. Playing innocent is working. Being the Creep is working...!

Wesley placed the bottle back onto the table, all the while eying me like prey. I kept my cheeky smile. "Your turn then, Creep..."

"Don't mind if I do," I chimed. I spun the bottle and it landed on Wesley. People murmured some more.

"Interesting," I started, "Truth or Dare?"

"Truth," he answered, almost growling.

"Is it true that you have a daddy kink? I overheard one of your buddies talking about it."

Wesley's eyes went wide and he shot his friends a gnarly glare. They all backed away. People starting laughing and the blonde haired douchebag in front of me growled.

He grabbed onto the bottle and said, "Moving on--."

"You didn't answer the question, Collins," a random senior said. Teens started to chant for him to answer and Wesley almost looked like he was about to blow.

"Yes! You happy?," he admitted and others burst out laughing, some guys moaning 'daddy' to taunt him. His cool demeanor was on the edge of breaking and he spun the bottle a little too aggressively. It pointed to another person, and so on after that.

Soon enough, the bottle was back on me and I was told to impersonate what Wesley's daddy kink would be like. Eager to show off my acting, I used the girl next to me as my helpful partner and said, "Hey there, beautiful. You're looking as fine as ever. What do you say we come back to my car and have really awkward and insufferable sex where I tell you to call me daddy but you reject me, just like all of the others girls have? If you're a good girl, I'll give you an allowance like a real daddy." I winked.

Everyone had a riot with my skit and the girl next to me was laughing hard. Wesley was beyond angry at this point.

He suddenly shot up from his seat and yelled, "You think you're real funny, don't you, queer?"

"Yeah," I agreed in a flat tone.

"Well, let's see how funny you think you are when everyone hears this!" He motioned to one of his buddies to come closer. The guy gave him his phone and Wesley browsed through it. A small, wireless speaker was put on the table as he connected the phone to it via Bluetooth. At full volume, Wesley's voice seeped out of the speaker...along with mine.

My voice: "What you were doing was wrong."

His voice: "Oh, yeah? That's real funny coming from you, Calvin. You did something wrong, too. I'd even say it was much worse..."

After trying to figure out what was going on, it hit me all too late...

Wesley's voice: "You didn't think I was dumb enough to just take your phone and not look through it, did you? Oh, the things I found on it. Quite scandalous. If I wasn't completely disgusted by you, I would compliment you on your perfect photography. Your pictures of Eli really capture his essence, and just how repulsive you are."

My stomach flipped.

I could hear my pleading voice: "Please, don't show anyone."

His taunting voice: "...Why don't you go ahead and beg some more, Calvin?"

I could hear it all. Everyone could.

Once the recording stopped, I stared wide eyed at him. He purposefully waited for the party to do this. The satisfaction was present in his eyes. Those cold, piercing blue eyes. He finally got me, and there was no escaping his grasp.

"Did you hear all of that...Eli?," Wesley asked. My breath hitched and I turned around to see the delinquent right behind me. He stared straight at the blonde man and answered, "Every single word.."

Wesley laughed almost maniacally and told me, "You truly, truly are disgusting, Calvin Tae."

People started to whisper amongst themselves. The girl next to me wasn't all smiles anymore. I was completely alone, and at a loss of confidence. I wouldn't be able to make an excuse for this. I'm cornered now, and I don't think I'll get back out.

A part of me wanted to grab the bottle and throw it at Wesley's face. Maybe I should've. But the other part of me didn't want to face him, or anyone at all. That part of me won and made me turn around to leave. I shoved past Eli, as bold as it was, and race-walked straight out of the dining room. Wesley's voice called my name in its taunting tone. I can still picture his shit-eating grin now.

I went back to the couch where I left Oscar. There, he was holding onto Yani as she rambled on about why children are demon spawns. She was completely fucking wasted. Great.

"Calvin, there you are!," Oscar exclaimed with a relieved smile on his face, "You've gotta help me, man. Yani is super drunk, and she can barely stand up."

"You won't have to deal with her anymore. We're going home," I stated.

He looked a bit surprised and it was then that I knew he could tell something was wrong. "Are you okay to drive?," he asked.

"I didn't drink anything, so I'm good."

"Okay..."

He struggled to stand up as he let Yani hang onto his shoulders. She was still slurring and cursing. When she saw me, she said, "Calvin! Calvin, Calvin, Calvin, Calvin..." Jesus...

"Thanks for taking care of her," I told him as I took to her other side.

With a bashful grin, he replied, "A-Ah, it's no problem. I'm just glad it was me and not some other guy..."

"Hurry it up, would ya?," I remarked.

"Right, sorry," he said, picking up his pace as best as he could with Yani hanging by his side.

As we made it to the front door, I felt someone grab my arm and I turned. Eli was right there behind me again, holding that same scowl (it actually looked softer). Before he could say or do anything, I yanked my arm out of his hold and said, "Save it for Monday."

"Calvin--."

"Leave me alone! I know what I did was wrong and I'm suffering for it! If you're gonna beat me up, fine! It's not gonna matter because everything is already fucked up! So fuck off and go throw death glares at some other stupid screw-up!"

For the first time ever, I got to see his expression change to one of surprise. With one last glare, I swiftly turned away and stormed out the front door.

When I jogged down the porch steps to make it to Oscar, he asked me, "Hey, are you alright? You're crying..."

"What?," I murmured, and the presence of tears was confirmed by the crack in my voice. I rubbed at my eyes, realizing that I must've started crying in front of Eli, too. What does it matter? The damage as been done and there's nothing I can do to fix it. I'm done for.

"Don't worry about it," I muttered and helped Oscar to move Yani to her car down the street. He put her into the passenger seat while I hopped into the driver's side, car keys in hand.

"Get back safe, okay?," Oscar told me.

I only nodded and waited for him to close the passenger door. Once he stepped back, I started up the car and put it into drive.

The car ride with Yani was mostly quiet. She would mumble incoherent or just down right stupid things from time to time. I thought about what her mom and dad would think, and I groaned. They won't be happy with either of us, I'm sure...

As I drove, I took this time to let myself cry once again. Yani was practically asleep in the car, so I was allowed to sob without concerning her.

I shouldn't have come to Sorhinsky's party. I shouldn't have stayed. I shouldn't have listened to Yani.

I shouldn't have taken those photos.

•••

I parked Yani's car in the driveway of her house. It was a struggle to carry her out of the car and to the front door, but I made it anyway. After ringing the doorbell, I waited for someone to answer the door.

Finally, it opened and her mom was there to greet me. She and Yani almost looked the same, except her mother was darker, and looked more aged.

"Oh my god," she said as she set her eyes on her wasted daughter, "what happened?"

"Hello, Mrs. Hernandez. Yani, uh, got drunk at the party," I explained.

She frowned and yelled to someone inside, "I told you Yani was lying about the yearbook club get-together, Ricardo! But noooo, you wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt this time!"

"I'm sorry, honey," Yani's dad yelled back.

"Cállate," she growled, and turned back to me. "Thank you, Calvin, for being responsible. I'm sorry that you had to deal with her like this."

"It's okay.," I answered calmly, "I'm just glad she's alright."

"Likewise." Mrs. Hernandez gave me a gentle smile and I felt relieved that she didn't scold me, too. Mr. Hernandez came to the door a few seconds later to carry his daughter inside. (She mumbled about fideo along the way.)

"Do you have another ride home?," her mom asked.

I shook my head. "Yani picked me up from my house..."

"If you want, you can take her car home. Hell, you can keep it. She won't be needing it for another month because of this," she stated.

"Thank you..."

"Don't mention it, Calvin." Strangely, her gaze shifted past me and she said, "Oh, hello there. Are you one of Calvin's friends?"

For a moment, I wondered if Oscar had followed me to make sure Yani made it home okay. When I turned around, I was very mistaken.

Eli stood a couple of feet behind me on the walkway. With a straight face, he answered Mrs. Hernandez, "Yes. I'm Eli Gateman."

"Nice to meet you, Eli," Yani's mom greeted with a kind smile.

Eli came to stand next to me and said, "Don't worry about your daughter's car, ma'am. I'll be happy to take Calvin home."

What the fuck..???

"Oh, thank you," she said, "You're very sweet. Please get home safely, you two."

I shifted my gaze from Mrs. Hernandez, to Eli, then back and forth. I hoped she would see how nervous I look, but nothing caught on. Scared of declining Eli's offer, I put on a smile and told Mrs. Hernandez, "Have a good night."

"You, too. Tell your mom I said hi!"

"She'll be happy to hear," I chuckled as I returned Yani's car keys to her. I started backing away from the doorstep and away from Eli. Maybe if I run fast enough into the darkness, he won't catch me.

Yani's mom closed the front door, her muffled shouting echoing not even a second after. Before I could say anything to Eli, he told me, "C'mon."

I should just run. Run as fast as I can. Run to the front door and beg to spend the night. Anything would do so long as I'm not alone with Eli. But I'm a nervous wreck and I end up following him anyway.

For a few seconds, I thought he was just walking me, but then he brought out some keys and pressed a button. A few feet away, car lights lit up in the darkness that street lamps couldn't reach. Talk about shady.

When I finally walked up to Eli's car, I saw it was a type of classic, muscle car. The sleek, black exterior reflected what little light there was. I was so caught up in admiring how badass it looked when Eli called out to me, "Hey, are you getting in the car or not?" He was already sitting in the driver's seat. Awkwardly, I opened the passenger door and clambered inside. Once I was all buckled up and ready to go, Eli turned on the car. It roared briefly, sending goosebumps up my arms. Eli put the car into drive and started cruising away from the curb.

The craziness of this whole situation finally hit me, and it hit me hard. I can't believe I'm driving with Eli Gateman. I can't believe he's taking me home after what I did. Or, what if he's not? What if he's taking me to some secluded place to beat me up, or worse? Isn't there a saying about how once you're in a kidnapper's vehicle, you're already done for?

I'm absolutely, positively fucked.