him;

         "Pink lipstick stains, cigarette butts
                  I lie in bed, I hate my guts."

           - Marina & The Diamonds, E.V.O.L

       Smoke filled the air and loud snores suffocated the silence. Bodies sprawled themselves around the room. Some had cigarettes between their fingers and others had alcohol stains on their clothing. I, on the other hand, was missing my jacket and my converse. Who the hell would take them?

     Sitting myself up, I tip toed myself around the bodies. While doing so, I found my jacket and my shoes around them. As I pulled them on, my body fell backwards. My head hurt and I was dizzy. Pulling my last shoe on, I stepped my way out of the basement and to the out doors. My body ached as much as my head pounded. But I continued to walk my shifting body back home where I would only be able to fill myself up with pills and arguments.

✗ ✗ ✗

      "Mom?" I yelled through the house. It only echoed into the empty hallways and I never recieved anything back. Shaking it off, I went my way to my room where I took some pain killers and then ran my way to my mother's room.

       "Mom!" I pounded on the door. But then again, no answer. I barged my way into the room where the sheets were folded neatly and her clothes were piled into her closet. Her white walls were stained and chipped away. The room was filled with pity and disgust. Tears and agony screamed through out the walls. But there was no one in here.

       She never left the house.

        I closed the door and walked my way down to the kitchen. I went for the cupboard along the back and pulled out a cup. That's when I noticed a sticky note on her coffee maker.

         Pulling it off the machine and reading it, my eyes began to go wide.

         I decided that I'm going to take a break. From the tears and the house and everything else. I had enough money to buy one ticket to Florida. I promise you when I come back everything will be happier. I'm so sorry, Lucas. So sorry.

                                                                 Love mom. :-)

        I ripped the note into shreds and threw it to the ground. I stomped my way out of the house and went into the backyard, where I let out a screeching yell. I fell to my knees, fury bubbling up inside of me.

         That was it. Anna had been blocking me from what I was put on this planet to do. She was an anchor, but I didn't need  an anchor. I was perfectly fine the way I was. Who the hell was she to ruin my life? Take me from my natural habits.

           I didn't like her, she was just a game to me. All like my others. Right? Of course she was. I actually softened up to her and broke my walls down. Just for her and she hasn't even noticed.

          How pathetic have I gotten over the past few months? Breaking my habits for her, telling her I didn't want her to get hurt, being captivated by the way her eyes shined. This is absolutely horrifying, Lucas. What are you doing to yourself!

           I gripped the grass between my fingers and threw my hands up. The grass fell softly from my hands as I untangled them from my fingertips. I stood up and walked to the front, grabbing my skateboard. I ran my feet on to the concreted roads and jumped on to the only thing that counted as a 'ride' to me.

     I dug into my pockets. My hands gripped at the packet of cigarettes as well as the lighter. Pushing my foot off the ground, I took out the cardboard package. Purple and red lipstick stains covered the outer layer. I ignored it -- knowing my head would begin to pound again thinking about what happened last night -- and took out a bud. I placed it between my teeth, lit it, and stuffed the rest back into my pocket.

       I took a drag and as I did the smoke seem to take too long of resting in my body. My throat became scratchy and a loud cough extracted from my lips. I continued to push my body forward as my lungs took in another grab at horrid chemicals.

         My head swung to my left as I heard a loud creaking noise. With the red tinted hair and combat boots, I already knew who it was. Her hair flew to her back as she turned around to face me.

          "Hey Lucas." she waved a small smile placed on her lips. I ignored her actions and rolled my eyes back to what I was doing. Flicking the ashes to the side of me, my body pleaded to turn itself back around. But I forced it to stay forward, to be honest I didn't want to see the frown on her lips.

           I also reminded myself that she was too much for me to handle.

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a/n this is less then I usually write so i put a gif to the side.

i hope that cheers you up. : -)