Chapter 40

I smiled at him. We just got married, for heaven's sake!

"Are you happy?" he asked me. Ngumiti lang ako sa kanya. Words can't suffice what I was feeling at that moment. I held his hand tighter and intertwined our fingers. 

Sabay kaming naglalakad pabalik sa sasakyan. Kahit pa sabihin nila na civil wedding lang ang mayroon kami, kasal pa rin kami. Iyon lang naman ang importante sa akin, e.

"Saan tayo pupunta?" I asked him. Patuloy lang siya sa pagddrive, I didn't push it. Ang mahalaga sa akin, kami na ang magkasama habang buhay. 'Yun lang naman ang importante, 'di ba?

Minutes after driving around, nakarating kami sa bahay nila. Sobrang nostalgic ng pakiramdam. Parang biglang bumalik lahat ng high school memories ko ngayon. Dati kasi nung pumupunta ako dito, puro masasakit na alaala lang 'yung natatandaan ko... Siguro nga tama sila all along, nagkukunwari lang akong okay pero ang totoo, miss na miss ko na si Drake.

He stopped the car momentarily. 

"Bakit tayo nandito?" I asked him. Instead of answering my question, he just smiled at me and kissed my cheek.

Sabay kaming lumabas ng sasakyan. Kahit kailan hindi ko pa naranasan mapagbuksan ng pinto ng sasakyan ni Drake. I don't know, it's just not his cup of tea. He's a gentleman but not to that extent. I remember dati lagi kong kinukumpara si Drake kay Tripp. When I was with Tripp, I was a princess. All things were prepared before me. Kumbaga, wala na akong kailangang gawin. Nandyan na lahat, e. Pero kay Drake? I have to work hard. I used to hate that about him, pakiramdam ko kasi wala siyang pakielam sa akin... 

But then I asked him why. Napapangiti na lang ako kapag naaalala ko.

"Why would I? You're not invalid, Alys. You're independent. I trust you enough to let you do things on your own. You may think that I don't give a damn but really, I do. You just don't see it but I am always watching over you. It's fucking corny but I always do."

And when he said that, I felt good about myself. Maaring nasayang yung years na hindi kami magkasama but in reality, being apart did us good. Mas naging independent ako, mas nakilala ko yung sarili ko. Isa sa mga kinatatakutan ko na nangyari sana ay yung nawala yung tunay na Alys dahil sa na in love siya kay Drake. Ayoko nun. I want to be myself while being in love with him.

What would love bring us if along the process, we would lose ourselves? Wasn't that deception? Making yourself believe that you're just in love when in reality, yes you are but where's the sense? You're not yourself anymore... And it's painful. Nagmahal ka nga, nagbago ka naman... I just can't see the sense.

"Bakit tayo nandito?" I asked him habang naglalakad kami.

"I'll introduce you," he simply said. I could feel his hand getting colder every second. Kinakabahan siya... Kinakabahan din ako pero alam kong kaya namin 'to. We've been through the worst, I'm sure we could handle this.

Nakapasok na kami sa bahay nila at naabutan namin si Ethos na naglalayo kasama yung mga kaibigan niya.

"Where's dad?" asked Drake. Tinuro lang ni Ethos yung receiving area nila. Drake nodded at him. He was about to start walking when Ethos tugged on his pants. "Why?" he asked him, looking down.

"The old hag is also here."

Old hag? Was he referring to me?

Natigilan si Drake. He looked at me and motioned me to sit. 

"Stay and wait for me," he said and then abruptly walked away. Nakatingin ako habang naglalakad siya palayo. Why do I feel bad about this?

I was on my reverie when Ethos nudged me.

"Hoy," sabi niya sa akin.

Nasaan ang manners ng batang 'to? The last time I saw him, marunong pa siyang mag-po. Habang tumatagal ba mas nawawalan siya ng manners? Paurong ang pagtanda?

"Bakit?" I asked him.

Kumakain pa siya ng lollipop. Ang sama yata talaga ng ugali ni Ethos? Si Dane naman hindi ganito nung bata... Bakit kaya ganito 'tong kapatid ni Drake?

Napatingin ako sa mga kasama niyang bata. Mukhang mabait naman sila, ah. Bakit kaya napagtitiisan nila yung ugali ni Ethos?

"Hi, what's your name?" tanong ko dun sa batang maputi at maliit.

He smiled at me and offered me his hand. "Julian Lee."

"Hi, Julian!" I said. Ngumiti lang siya sa akin at pinaglaruan yung ipad niya. Tumingin naman ako dun sa isang bata na ginugulo si Julian. Parang ang kulit niya. 

"Ano'ng name mo?" 

"Chrischen po," sabi niya.

Oh, my gosh ang cute nilang dalawa! Bakit kaya hindi ganito si Ethos? I mean, wala naman sigurong mawawala sa kanya kung magiging cute siya paminsan minsan, di ba?

Nakipag usap ako kila Chrischen and Julian ng makarinig ako ng parang may bumagsak sa bandang receiving area nila.

"Ano yun?" I asked myself.

Ethos looked at me. "Dito ka na lang..."

"Ha?"

For the first time since forever, he smiled at me. "Wag mong iiwan ang kuya ko. Kahit ayoko dahil pinaiyak mo siya dati, wag mo siyang iwan."

I smiled back at him and kissed his cheek. "Of course," I said. I pat his head and then tumayo ako. "Sandali, ha. Puntahan ko lang kuya mo..."

Sinubukan niya pa akong pigilan. Weird. 

Naglakad ako papunta sa receiving area nila ng makarinig ako ng malakas na sampal. Napatigil ako.

Hindi ko alam pero parang kumakabog 'yung puso ko. 

"How dare you!"

My heart was beating faster than ever. My hands were shaking. Nahihirapan akong huminga.

"What do you mean you don't want to marry my daughter?!" a voice said.

Dahan dahan akong naglakad papunta sa pinanggalingan ng mga boses. Pakiramdam ko kahit anong oras bigla na lang akong aatakihin sa puso... Palagi na lang ganito...

"Sir..." I heard Drake's voice.

Just then, I heard Fier crying. "Dad naman! I told you his name hindi para saktan mo siya! Akala ko ba makikipag usap ka lang!"

"Shut up, Fier! I didn't raise you to be pregnant and unwed!"

"But Dad!"

"I said shut up!" the voice said. "And you, Palma, marry my daughter! You won't like it when I'm mad!" he said and then I heard another voice.

"Pwede bang mag-usap na lang tayo ng mahinahon?" said Tito Steve.

Hindi ko alam kung paano maging mahinahon sa panahon na 'to. Alam ko kanina pa nila sinasaktan si Drake... Nasasaktan ako na sinampal niya si Drake...

I heard them moving. Ako? Hindi ako makagalaw... Hindi ako makahinga... 

"Ano ba ang gusto mong mangyari, Mr. Sandoval?" I heard Tito Steve ask.

There was a beat of silence. "I need for your son to marry my daughter."

"Drake?" Tito Steve broke the silence.

He answered faster than anything and it was a firm, "No. I won't."

"Aba't!" I heard the man shouted.

"Dad! Stop hurting him!" Fier shouted at his father.

Gusto kong tumakbo at tulungan si Drake pero hindi ko kaya... Natatakot ako...

"Drake, hindi ba talaga?" Tito Steve asked him, para bang frustrated na siya sa mga nangyayari.

I heard Drake sigh. "No, Dad. I won't. Not now, not ever."

"Dad, wag mong ipilit, please. He doesn't love me and I don't wanna push myself. Please, umuwi na tayo..."

I heard another voice. "She's right, Dad. Don't push it."

"Shut up, Lourd, hindi kita kinakausap! Magpapakasal ka, Fier, and you'll follow me. Kung ayaw kang pakasalan, wag kang uuwi sa bahay. I'll cut all your resources. Dito ka tumira hanggang hindi ka pinapakasalan."

"WHAT?!"

"Let's go, Lourd and Chance. I hope our next meeting would be a pleasant one, Mr. Palma."

I heard footsteps approaching kaya nagtago ako. Nakita kong lumabas ang isang matandang lalaki at dalawang lalaki na halos ka edad ko lang din.

"Dad, seryoso ka bang iiwan mo si Fier dun?"

"Yes. Hindi ko kasalanan na nabuntis siya. Kayong dalawa, kung ayaw niyong makitang galit ako, umayos kayo."

The guy with blonde streaks laughed. "I'm always protected."

"Asshole."

"Tumigil nga kayo. Tara na," the old man said and then walked away.

Ako? Naiwan ako dun. Hindi ko alam kung ano ang gagawin ko. Dapat bang puntahan ko si Drake? Hindi ko alam... Akala ko nadaanan ko na yung pinakamalala... Hindi ko akalain na may ilalala pa pala ang sitwasyon namin...

"Drake," I heard Fier say. "You can't push me away. I'm pregnant. Ayokong tumira sa kalsada."

Drake drew a deep breath. "Fine."

"Thank you."

"But I still won't marry you."

"Alam ko. But don't plan for the ending yet, Drake. Titira tayo sa iisang bahay. You have no idea what will happen."

Drake smirked. I saw him smirk. 

"I'm already married, Fier. I married Alys earlier. I thought it was an impulsive decision but seeing how your Dad's practically threatening me to marry you, that may have been the best decision I have ever made."