Chapter 39

I was pacing back and forth, throwing anything my eyes could see. I have been disappointed plenty of times already pero this one's different. I wasn't only devastated, I was also hurt and broken. 

"Alys..." he stuttered.

I was there, offering him my hand, asking him to run away. 

He was standing there, as if what I was asking him was the most outrageous thing he has ever heard. He wasn't moving but he was breathing raggedly, like he was measuring the decision he was about to make.

"Drake?" I said, my hope was slowly fading. He wasn't gonna say yes. A tear fell off my eye as realization hit me. "You aren't coming with me," I stated.

Itinaas ko ang ka"may ko at pinunasan yung luha mula sa mata ko. Screw my life.

"Alys," he said and then he took a step forward. "Running away isn't the solution."

I knew he was trying to be reasonable but I wasn't. Ayoko na sa logical explanations, sa reasons. Wala naman akong napapala sa pagiging reasonable kung hindi ang masaktan! Why would I bother thinking about other people kung sa huli, sa akin din bumabalik yung sakit. It comes back three times worse... and it freaking hurts.

"Kung hindi ka naman pala sasama, just leave me alone, Drake."

"Alys..."

"JUST FUCKING LEAVE ME ALONE!"

He was startled. It was the first time I shouted at him. He can't blame me. Everything was just so screwed up. I can't think straight, my mind was a pool of mess.

I took a deep breath and looked at him. "Umalis ka na," I said to him. My Mom was watching us, like she was scared. It was the first time she saw my outburst. I was her jolly child, ngayon niya lang akong nakitang magalit. It was all a surprise. "Mom, leave me alone, too."

They did as I ask. They left me alone.

Kanina pa ako umiiyak, hindi ko na alam. Palagay ko nga naubusan na din ako ng luha. Sobrang sakit na. Ang sakit sakit na...

Habang nakaupo ako sa gilid ng kama ko, tumunog yung cellphone ko.

It was Tripp.

I reached for the phone hurriedly and answered his call. "H-hello?" My voice was shaky from all the crying and I didn't do anything to hide it. I was at my lowest state and I need him the most now. He's my best friend. I just need some consoling and assurance that everything will be better.

("Hi?") he said. ("Umiiyak ka. Nasan ka?")

I asked for his location instead. Hindi ko na kayang magtagal pa dito. It felt like my sanity would fly out the window if I stay for a little bit longer.

Everything was blurry. Mabilis akong lumabas sa bahay, not minding my Mom's longing gaze. It was like I was there but I wasn't. I can't feel myself. My mind was somewhere else. And that place was horrible. 

Thirty minutes and I was there. Tripp was leaning against his car. He still looked the same, mas pumayat nga lang siya. 

The moment he saw me, lumapit siya and inabutan niya ako ng panyo. 

"Nawala lang ako sandali, umiiyak ka na naman," he said while helping me wipe my tears. I forced a smile. "Bakit ka umiiyak?"

Napahikbi ako. My sobs were getting uncontrollable. "Siya pa rin..."

He placed both of his hands on my shoulder. "Di ba mahal mo?" he asked and I nodded. "Pag mahal mo, wala lang yung iyak, Alys. Mahal din kita kaya alam ko. Pero mahal mo si Drake kaya please lang wag kang sumuko. Wag mo naman sayangin yung pagsuko ko. Mahirap sumuko, Alys... lalo na at alam ko na kung lumaban ako, alam ko sakin ka mapupunta."

I nodded at him. "Pero ang sakit sakit na talaga..."

He smiled at me, hinatak niya ako at niyakap. I feel so serene whenever I'm with him. I love Tripp, surely I do. He's my soulmate, magkasundo kami sa halos lahat ng bagay. Too bad he wasn't my epic love. Siguro masaya at tahimik kami ngayon kung siya yung mahal ko ng sobra. I knew he wouldn't hurt me... 

"Zyril, hindi ko alam kung paano papagaanin 'yung loob mo."

"But it really hurts..."

I felt him kissing the top of my head. "Mawawala din 'yan."

"Alam ko naman na mawawala 'to... But the memory of hurting would forever haunt me. The stigma will be there. Alam mo ba naiisip ko na na palagi akong masasaktan. It's crazy but that's how I feel..."

His hug tightened. I could feel his heart beating kasabay ng pagdaan ng hangin. 

"He would hurt you and it would be worth it. When you love someone, everything is worth it."

I smiled at him. He matured in such a short period of time. 

"Are you really giving up on me?" I asked him. He said he's waiting but I don't want him to wait. Tripp's very special. I love him kaya ayoko siyang maghintay. He should chase someone who's worth the chase. 

He shook his head. "Hindi pero gusto kitang sumaya," he said and then he stopped. "Shit ang corny ko na."

And then we shared a good laugh. 

"Nagugutom ka na ba?" he asked me. Just then, I remembered I haven't eaten anything yet. Kakagaling lang namin sa hospital. Kamusta na kaya si Fier? I hope she's fine... Galit man ako, ayokong may masamang mangyari sa kanya o sa baby niya. Wishing someone harm is just so low. Hindi ako ganun, ayokong maging ganun.

Umalis siya sandali papunta sa sasakyan niya. Pagbalik niya, mayroon siyang dalang paper bag.

"Kain ka na. Ikaw talaga ganyan ka pa rin. Kailan ka ba matututong kumain ng walang nagpapaalala sa'yo? Tsk," he said while opening the container for me. Tripp's the sweetest. Sana talaga makahanap siya ng babae. But I don't want Kei for him. I don't know. I'm being selfish.

We ate for a while. Kumain kami, actually pinilit niya akong kumain. Wala ako sa mood kumain. Masakit pa rin sa akin na hindi pumayag si Drake. My ego was bruised.

After eating, I looked at Tripp. "Tripp?"

"Hmm?" 

"If I ask you to run away, sasama ka ba?"

He smiled at me. "Secret. When these are all too much to bear, ako ang bahala sa'yo. Wag ka ng mag-alala. Prinsesa kita, 'wag mong kalimutan yan."

That was the last thing he said bago kami naghiwalay. He assured me na magiging okay ang lahat. Sana nga. 

The morning came and I was still tired. Wala akong ibang ginawa magdamag kung hindi mag isip. Ang hirap magisip lalo na kung masasakit na bagay yung iniisip mo.

Bumaba ako matapos kong magayos sa sarili ko. Wala akong plano ngayong araw. Ayoko na lang mag-isip. Bahala na. Gusto kong umalis at mag unwind.

"Alys," he said. He was here.

I looked at him. He looked dead tired. "Bakit?"

Hindi ako galit kay Drake, nasasaktan lang ako dahil hindi niya ako pinaglaban. Gusto ko lang naman umalis. Running away wasn't the solution but it would ease the pain.

"I'm sorry."

I walked past him and went straight to the fridge. "Okay."

"Are you angry?"

"Hindi."

I heard him sigh. Sorry, Drake. Hindi ako galit pero sobrang disappointed ako. Pabayaan mo muna ako... 

"Where were you last night?"

"Kasama ko si Tripp."

Napahinto siya. Tumingin ako sa kanya. Hindi ko alam kung bakit ko 'to sinabi, maybe because I was hurt and I wanted him to feel the same.

"I almost asked him to run with me, Drake."

"But you didn't," he said. His eyes were hopeful. 

I nodded at him. "Because I promised you I wouldn't run. Drake, just marry me. Malapit na akong mabaliw."

Faster than a blink of an eye, he said yes. "I'll marry you."

I smiled and then hugged him. "Thank you..."

After hugging me, he looked at me. "Your parents would hate me for this... but yes, let's get married."

And then he pulled me and we drove away. Was this the start of our happily ever after? I hope so.