Dear diary, December 19 2016

I started cutting again, I had been ok for at least a year but all the stress has become to much again. I gave a cut for each zero at school which totaled up to 6, plus the two on my arm from getting used to the feeling. At first I never understood why people thought about suicide but now I understand... I guess it would be better than everything that I have to deal with on earth. My mom wonders why I try and stay home so much, it's to get away from te stress for a while even if it gets worse after wards. I've decided to cut for each bad grade, and then when ever I need too. I decided on my leg since I do have gym and I don't want all these questions, the two on my arm I can excuse as my cat but I wouldent be able to explain more. I got the razor blade by taking my pocket knife to a Razor and bending one out, it worked and I feel better. My ill will just end it soon, it would be better than giving myself stress. And if your wondering diary its school, it's always been school and my grades and my work, if my mom would just stay off my back I think I might have been able to keep clean but I know she's gonna take my only escape soon anyways, my phone. If I don't have it I don't think I'll ever stop cutting. I'll probably start changing for gym in the bathroom to hide the wounds on my legs, I don't think I'm cutting deep enough but I guess I'll just have to get used to the feeling Eh? Well I'm off then. Till next time,
~ yours truly