As Jimin made way to his locker, with people passing by, laughing, gossiping, talking about what they'd do that weekend, he couldn't help but think if he received a letter once again. He could feel his stomach doing somersaults, and the nervousness was making him go insane. Somewhere in the back of his mind, even though he knew it was her who sent all those sweet letters, something inside him was telling him, whispering in his ears, giving him thoughts that it wasn't her, that it was all a mistake, that maybe, just maybe, those letters weren't for him.

Park Jimin, the voice in his head said, but he shook the thoughts away, trying his best to escape that eerie voice that always seemed to be there.

It just happened two days ago, which was a Wednesday, when she gave the letter, but it seemed as if it's been weeks due to the fact that when he got home, his head was throbbing, his mind went crazy and he didn't know the exact reason why. He just felt like he was carrying so much weight on his shoulders and it was starting to hurt. Even when he got himself a glass of water and gulped it all down, it seemed like he gulped down the guilt and doubts instead, and now it was making his stomach feel weird, making him uneasy, like it was going to stay there for weeks, not planning on leaving anytime soon.

With Jungkook playing with his little brother and motioning for Jimin to come play with them, too, with that big smile on his face, Jimin shook his head no and waved it off with a grin, joking and saying his little brother liked Jungkook better anyway. Jungkook, being stubborn in the most adorable way, dragged Jimin out to the living room to at least watch the game they were playing and Jimin's eyes were on the screen a few seconds later, revealing two race cars, but it was obvious Jungkook was winning. Jungkook's always been so competitive.

No matter what, his feet would end up in the kitchen, having a mind of their own, and Jimin would find himself drinking water again, and his third cup would turn into five, and five into seven, and by the time he was pouring his eighth cup, the pitcher in hand, Jungkook had to stop him.

"Are you okay?" the younger one managed to snake his arms around Jimin's waist, nestling his chin in between Jimin's neck and shoulder as he looked at him worriedly. The older one kept on coming back to the kitchen again and again that Jungkook couldn't help but notice, in between games, until he finally decided to tell Jimin's younger brother, Jihyun, that he'd go check up on Jimin. "Is there something wrong?"

"There's nothing wrong, Kookie," Jimin lied, hiding inside his shell again, hiding in the shadows once more and concealing his nervousness about what would happen when he'd be with her. He was feeling bothered about the fact that maybe it wasn't her who gave the letters in the first place. His mind was an ever-spinning wheel.

"I let him win this time, don't get mad at me anymore," Jungkook said innocently referring to him letting Jimin's brother win the last round, and his heart was so pure that Jimin just had to glance to his side, his cheeks feeling warm just like Jungkook's arms around him, and let out a small chuckle in return and a smile of adoration as he looked at the younger one, their faces only an inch away from each other. Jimin knew Jungkook had to tone down his pride just for him to say that, and Jimin didn't want to embarrass him, especially now when he was trapped in his arms. Though Jungkook was the type to never back down, give up and lose, he still let his younger brother win, and Jimin right there and then, knew Jungkook had a soft spot for his one and only little brother. "You're not mad at me are you? Please smile for me."

"I'm okay, Jungkook," Jimin laughed a bit this time, noticing that Jungkook was getting more and more daring and brave with each passing day, and he'd only bring Jimin close when the place was dim or if it was only the both of them together and no one else. When he felt Jungkook tighten his arms around him, as if he was saying everything was alright and he didn't need to explain it to him if he wasn't ready, Jimin's fingers reached out to find Jungkook's hands, but Jungkook beat him to it and interlaced their fingers together within a second, stroking Jimin's skin and planting a soft, chaste kiss on his shoulder.

"Smile for me, hyung."

There it was again, that pain in his heart whenever Jungkook held him close, and guilt tagging along because he couldn't give Jungkook the amount of love he deserved, and it stuck to him; that familiar feeling called guilt wasn't leaving.

It wasn't leaving anytime soon and it planned on sticking around like scars on his skin, like Jungkook giving him at least eighteen phone calls the day after, on a Thursday afternoon, and Jimin felt guilt clinging onto him like a bestfriend because he didn't even spare even a minute to answer to at least one of them - didn't answer to any of them just because he didn't know what to think, didn't know if he'd actually go visit her on a Friday night when he could just distract himself and find something better to do than embarrass himself in front of her. Not answering Jungkook's calls made him want to lock himself up in his own room because what would he say to him when he hears the younger one on the other end of the line, 'Should I go meet her?' when it was evident that Jungkook didn't want him to?

And now it was a Friday, the day he's been waiting, yet, dreading to come. Still feeling confused, he stopped by his locker, putting a hand on it and letting out a heavy sigh; a sigh he hoped would let out all the negativity, all the problems, and perhaps the memories of him telling his brother not to let Jungkook in their house the day before, on a Thursday night, after all those phone calls, even though the day prior to that was Jungkook having fun with Jihyun and them playing video games and the house filled with laughter; he felt bad hearing Jihyun complain why Jungkook couldn't go in, even just for a while, but all Jimin could say was 'I'm not feeling well.'

He felt ashamed, regretful, and even though his heart yearned for Jungkook, his mind told him not to.

Because it wasn't right.

Because he'd end up hurting Jungkook repeatedly.

The moment he opened his locker, a note fell.

A letter.

With shaky hands, he opened it and although a few students were right there, passing by, he couldn't help but read the letter to himself, but more of a loud whisper.

So what if they heard it?

Dear Jimin,

I thought it would get easier to express how much you mean to me as each day passes, but I didn't know it would get this hard.

It's getting harder and harder and I'm not sure if I can take it any longer.

Because it hurts.

You're so close, but it seems like you're so far - I keep on saying this because it's true. I thought you'd finally know, or at least feel that it's me, that I'm here, but I guess I'm not doing a good job making it so obvious?

It pains me how you don't know that it's me, but as long as you keep on smiling, as long as you stay happy with the one you're comfortable with then I'm good.

I'll be alright.

I try my best to stay alright, just for you.

Keep shining and know that I'm here. No matter what.

Always.

With love,
♥

Jimin smiled, and looked to his side now with pursed lips.

"What's up with her? She doesn't need to send me all these letters when I already know it's her sending these," he looked at the letter again and grinned. It was adorable, how she still sent a letter when it was obvious that it was her. Why didn't she just sign her name?

"I still don't trust her," Jungkook appeared out of nowhere, a few seconds later, and Jimin found him leaning his back against a locker, avoiding eye contact, avoiding Jimin's gaze. "That girl."

"Her name's Mina. That girl's name is Mina, Jungkook," Jimin was getting mad, but once again, he had to stop himself. "She has a name."

It stayed silent for a while and when Jimin placed the letter in his locker, Jungkook followed his gaze to where he placed it, looking at Jimin's hands handling it like it was fragile, like it would shatter if he dropped it.

Shatter like his heart but who cared anyway? Jungkook was Jungkook and no one cared about him.

"She's special, and you shouldn't-"

"-Are you just saying that just because you know it's her who gave all those letters?" Jungkook cut him off, still avoiding Jimin's eyes, but busied himself by looking at the groups of students passing by. "Are you forcing yourself to say that?"

"Jungkook, how could you- Of course not, I- She's important, okay, you shouldn't treat her like she's trash or-"

"-More important than me so that's why you couldn't answer to any of my calls now that she's here?" Jungkook placed his hands in his pockets this time and faced Jimin and the older one looked at how his eyes were dark, and he should've taken that as a sign to keep quiet. "Trash? If it's anyone treating someone like trash, it's you. Don't you even know how I felt when I knew you called Jin hyung and the others and didn't even take a moment to tell me you were busy?"

"Jungkook, I..." Jimin didn't know what to say. He felt like he was a child who broke his mom's vase and now he was guilty again, and he reminded himself that he was going to lock himself up in his room once more. He didn't want to cry, not now. "With you, it was different. I did it on purpose because I didn't know what to say, and I knew you'd be disappointed with me if I told you I'd meet up with her. I mean, I just don't know. Besides that, I didn't want to talk to you."

He should've finished his sentence and said 'because you mean so much to me that I knew once I'd hear your voice, I'd cry because I can never tell you how much I love you,' but once he heard himself, and finally caught on to what he said, he faced his side with wide eyes because he knew it was a mistake. It was a mistake because now he regretted seeing Jungkook's face fall.

"If you didn't want to talk to me, you should've just said it. It's better you told me face to face than saying these words on the phone, I appreciate it."

"Jungkook, don't talk to me like that, I'm still your hyung," Jimin felt a pang in his heart when he heard that, but Jungkook wouldn't stop.

"But that doesn't mean you have the right to make me feel stupid," Jungkook bit his bottom lip because he was hurting. It wasn't even called 'hurting' anymore when there wasn't a word to describe the feeling, the feeling of his heart getting torn into pieces. "Waiting for you for hours, not getting even a second of sleep, worried sick because I thought something happened to you. Not letting me in, fine, I get that, but it would kill me to imagine you on your own, by yourself, who knows what would happen, just listen to me for once," Jungkook's eyes were red. Jimin knew what he was trying to say, about him being alone, and truth be told, Jimin was scared, too.

Who knew what he'd do to himself if he was alone? When he's hurting so much and there's nothing else better to do than match your feelings on the inside to the outside?

Who knew what he'd do if he knew he had no control over himself, that he's been so depressed for a while now, and if you leave someone who's dying on the inside, alone, nothing ever turns out right.

"Maybe you think I'd leave you if I found out you're alright. Maybe you think I'd leave like the others, but just so you know, I'm here, and even though you make me feel like utter garbage waiting for you all the time without getting a proper response, I still won't leave you. Even if your wounds heal, even when your heart isn't hurting anymore, I still won't leave you. It hurts, being young and no one ever takes you seriously, but I hope you take me seriously, hyung," Jungkook spilled his heart out to him that Jimin didn't want to look at him anymore. Instead, he placed his books in his locker because Jungkook's voice breaking made him fully aware that it was him who did that.

"I'm so sorry," Jimin croaked out, but he guessed it was too late because Jungkook was already holding onto his bag strap, preparing to leave.

"I guess you can't really force someone to make time for you. If they really want to, they will, that's what I've been thinking about," Jungkook stopped and swallowed the lump in his throat. No one liked listening to him, but this was rare, and someone was actually hearing him out - if Jimin was hearing him out, that is. "I think it's not about having time for people, but making time for them...If I really mattered to you, hyung, you'd make time for me. Like how I make time for you. Always," Jungkook now looked at him with tears in his eyes, and unlike Jimin's, they were now falling and landing on his cheeks, and in that moment, Jimin understood. Jungkook was younger than him, why did he have to hurt him this much? Jimin felt like a fool.

I'm a fool.

"Have fun, hyung. I hope you make her happy. I just hope you don't hurt her," Jungkook wiped his tears and was about to get lost in the crowd, about to camouflage himself to blend in with the surroundings because maybe to Jimin, he was like any other person out there, like he was just another person in a sea of people.

He left, but seeing that he was still a few meters away from him, Jimin called out his name as loud as he could.

"Wait, Jungkook!"

Turning around, still holding his bag strap, Jungkook looked at him.

"Will you still wait for me? Outside her house?" Jimin managed to ask even though his voice was cracking and some people were staring at him.

"Okay, I will," was all he said before he smiled. "Jimin hyung?"

"Yeah?" Jimin said, sounding like he was shouting since he couldn't hear himself because everyone else seemed to be loud as well.

"Do you trust me?"

Jungkook didn't even need to ask, but he still did, and that hurt Jimin. Didn't he already know the answer? The fact that he was unsure of the answer hurt Jimin because that only meant that he wasn't showing it enough - wasn't showing how much he actually did trust Jungkook.

Jungkook was still waiting, meters away from him, and Jimin was made out of crumbling walls, and he was breaking, slowly, and soon enough, he'd be on the ground with nothing else making him upright, steady, secure.

"I trust you," Jimin whispered, but only to himself. Jungkook could still read his lips anyway, a product of being friends for years, something someone who just came out of nowhere can't replace.

"Then that's all I ask of you."