T H E F A L L

"YOU DISGUST ME "

His exact words.

He was walking with his two friends behind him. The only friend he really had. And I was waiting by my locker.

And I ran up to him, a smile on my beautiful perfect lips with white teeth.

I batted my eyelashes like Laney told me to do. I even touch his shoulder.

I did it all, so why find me disgusting.

"Hey X I'm so happy your back-" hand on his shoulder "-we miss you I hope you remember me I'm Amelia Kendly "

"Excuse me ?" He asks.

He did not smile back. Actually, he gave me that look.
And I knew that I lost him there.

So I took away my smile and look at him confusedly.

"Don't you remember, I want to be your friend "

"I do remember, your that girl in my class, but I don't care" he replied he shove past me hitting me on the shoulder.

He smelled so good.

His friend chuckle

"Poor baby better luck next time, " the Asian one said said

"Maybe you could fuck him another time, " the black one said

Fuck him?

I don't want to fuck him.

I want to get to know him. I want to learn him, love him.

Love H I M

"Wait you have it all wrong " my voice started to break, I was going to cry

"For fuck sake Amelia, I just got out of jail"

Amelia

He said my name .

"Look, X, I like you and I want to befriend that's it, I want to get to know you guys, I look up to you and am happy your out if jail, I been waiting for-"

He laughs.

He laughs at me.

He laughs at my hard work.

The endless night if being hungry.

The sweat that ran down my forehead.

The sleepless night.

He laughs at me.

Shoving them past him.

Losing me in the same way I lost him

But I'm the one that helps.

I was the only one happy to see him.

Whether he came back ugly or pretty.

I wouldn't care.

Cause it's him

E C S T A SY

"You think I fucking care, your so pathetic you disgust me"

"But-"

"I get it your not ugly anymore but I never like you, I don't care about you, or any of you." he said

Then he walks away

Walk away from my eyes

My fantasy

My dream

Living me back

To fight.

To fight this battle myself.

Fuck