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Chapter four

Riley's family arrived just after eight in the morning, when the sunlight had finally become brave enough to push through the blinds and stretch across the floor in thin golden lines.

I was still sitting in the chair beside his bed, wrapped in the blanket a nurse had given me during the night, with my hair probably tangled beyond saving and my sweater wrinkled from sleeping in it. Riley was awake again, though barely. His breakfast tray had been taken away, and he was lying against the pillows with his eyes half-open, fighting sleep like he had some kind of personal grudge against rest.

The door opened softly, and Willow Briarwyn stepped inside first.

She paused the second she saw me.

Behind her, Kai stood with one hand resting gently on Milo's shoulder, while Lydia followed with a cardboard box balanced against her hip. Milo was still in pajamas under his little jacket, his curls messy from sleep, one sneaker untied, and a stuffed dinosaur tucked beneath his arm like he had brought backup.

Willow looked at me for a moment, and something gentle moved across her face.

"I see you beat us," she said softly.

I sat up quickly, suddenly aware of how terrible I must have looked. "Oh. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to—"

"Autumn." Willow's smile was tired, but warm. "That wasn't a complaint."

Kai stepped into the room behind her, his eyes moving first to Riley, then to me. He gave me the kind of smile adults gave when they were trying not to cry in front of children. "Did you sleep here?"

I glanced at the chair. "Kind of."

Lydia snorted quietly from behind him. "That means yes."

I looked at her. "Good morning to you too."

Her eyes were red, but her mouth curved just a little. "You look like the chair won."

"It did."

Riley watched us from the bed, quiet and curious, like he was trying to understand a language he had once spoken fluently. Willow noticed and immediately moved closer, her expression softening into something that made my chest ache.

"Good morning, sweetheart," she said.

Riley looked at her carefully. "Good morning."

His voice was polite.

Gentle.

Wrong.

Willow swallowed, but she didn't let her smile fall. "How are you feeling?"

"Tired."

"That makes sense."

"And confused."

Her smile trembled. "That makes sense too."

Milo slipped out from under Kai's hand and walked straight to the side of Riley's bed. He stood there for a second, staring up at him with serious eyes, then lifted the stuffed dinosaur like an offering.

"I brought Rexy," he announced.

Riley looked at the dinosaur, then back at Milo. "For me?"

Milo nodded. "He helps when I have bad dreams."

Something shifted in Riley's face, so soft and sad that I had to look away for a second.

"That's nice of you," Riley said carefully.

Milo shrugged like it was no big deal, even though his hand tightened around the dinosaur's tail. "You can borrow him. But not forever."

"I'll take good care of him."

"You better. He's very sensitive."

Riley's mouth twitched. "I'll remember that."

The room went still for half a breath.

Not because Riley had meant anything by it. He hadn't. It was just a phrase, something anyone would say without thinking. But the word remember landed between us like glass.

Willow blinked quickly and looked down. Kai rubbed a hand over his mouth. Lydia shifted the box in her arms and stared at the floor.

Milo didn't notice.

He only climbed into the chair nearest Riley's bed, his legs swinging, and watched him with that open, helpless hope children have before they understand that love can't fix everything by wanting hard enough.

Lydia cleared her throat. "I brought stuff."

Riley turned toward her.

She lifted the box a little. "Photos. Some of your favorite things. Mom thought it might help."

Willow glanced at Riley, nervous now in a way she tried to hide. "The doctor said familiar things might be good. Nothing overwhelming. Just little pieces."

Riley nodded slowly. "Okay."

Lydia set the box on the small table near the window. For a moment, nobody moved. We all just stared at it like something alive might crawl out. It was only a cardboard box, worn at the corners, with Riley's name written across one side in black marker. But it felt heavier than that. It felt like an entire life had been packed into it and brought to the hospital because the person it belonged to could no longer find his way back to it.

Lydia opened the flaps.

The first thing she pulled out was a framed photograph.

She looked at it for a second, and her face did something painful before she handed it to him.

"This is us," she said.

Riley took it carefully.

I leaned back in my chair, trying not to look too eager, trying not to hold my breath like the right photograph might unlock a door inside his head.

In the picture, Riley was maybe twelve. Lydia was beside him, taller and smug-looking, with her arm hooked around his neck in what was probably meant to be a hug but looked more like a threat. Riley was laughing, his face scrunched up, one hand trying to shove her away. Behind them, the backyard was bright with summer, a sprinkler frozen mid-spray in the background.

Riley stared at it.

Lydia crossed her arms.

"That was the summer you thought you could beat me in a water fight."

Riley looked up. "Could I?"

"No."

Milo leaned forward from his chair. "Lydia cheats."

"I do not."

"You do."

"I strategize."

Kai's mouth curved faintly. "You hid the hose behind the garage and ambushed him."

"That's strategy."

Willow laughed softly, but the sound broke halfway through. She pressed her fingers against her lips, and Kai's hand found the small of her back.

Riley looked at the photograph again.

"I don't remember it," he said.

Lydia's jaw tightened.

For a second, she looked angry.

Then I realized she wasn't angry at him.

She was angry at the universe. At the accident. At the unfairness of holding proof of a happy day in her hands and being the only sibling in the photo who knew how happy it had been.

"That's okay," she said, but her voice came out rough. "It was mostly me winning anyway."

Riley looked at her, then down at the photo.

"I look happy."

"You were," she said.

He ran his thumb gently over the edge of the frame. "Good."

That one word made Willow turn away.

I stared at my hands.

Lydia took out more photographs after that. A baby picture of Riley with cake smeared across his face on his first birthday. A family photo from a beach trip where Milo was still tiny and asleep against Willow's chest. A picture of Riley and Kai standing in front of a grill, both wearing aprons that said something ridiculous I couldn't read from where I sat. Riley examined each one with quiet concentration, as if he were studying for a test on a life he was terrified to fail.

Sometimes he asked questions.

"Where was this?"

"How old was I?"

"Did I like the beach?"

"Why am I wearing that hat?"

Everyone answered gently.

Too gently.

That was the thing about grief in a hospital room. It made everyone soft around the edges. Even Lydia, who looked like she wanted to shake the entire world until it gave her brother back, spoke to him like one wrong word might send him further away.

Then she pulled out a hoodie.

It was dark green, faded from too many washes, with a small tear near the cuff.

I knew that hoodie.

Of course I did.

Riley wore it constantly. To school. To the movies. To late-night drives. To my house so often that my mother once asked if he owned other clothes.

Lydia held it up. "Your favorite hoodie."

Riley stared at it. "Why?"

"Because you have no taste," Lydia said.

"Lydia," Willow murmured.

"What? He doesn't."

Riley's mouth curved faintly.

Lydia saw it and kept going, her voice a little steadier now. "You wore this thing so much Mom threatened to throw it away."

Willow sighed. "I did not threaten. I suggested retirement."

"You said it belonged in a museum of tragic fashion choices."

Kai nodded seriously. "It did."

Riley touched the sleeve when Lydia handed it to him. His fingers brushed over the soft fabric, lingering near the torn cuff.

"I wore this a lot?"

"All the time," I said before I could stop myself.

Everyone looked at me.

My face warmed.

Riley looked at me too, not uncomfortable, just curious. "You remember it?"

I laughed softly. "Unfortunately, yes. You once wore it for nine days straight because you said it was your lucky hoodie."

Lydia pointed at me. "See? No taste."

"It was lucky," I added. "Just ugly."

Riley looked down at the hoodie again, and for a second, his face softened like maybe the fabric meant something even if he couldn't remember why. He lifted it closer, almost like he might smell it, then seemed embarrassed by the instinct and lowered it back to his lap.

"It feels familiar," he said quietly.

No one breathed.

Willow took one tiny step closer. "It does?"

Riley nodded, but his brow furrowed. "Not like a memory. Just... I don't know. Like it belongs to me."

Kai's eyes closed for a second.

Lydia's arms tightened around herself.

I felt my own heart lift painfully.

It wasn't much. It wasn't a memory.

But it was something.

Willow smiled through tears. "It does belong to you."

Riley held the hoodie a little tighter.

Milo slid down from his chair and wandered toward the box. "Did you bring the dinosaur picture?"

Lydia frowned. "What dinosaur picture?"

"The one where Riley has the dinosaur pancakes."

"Oh." Lydia dug through the box. "Maybe."

Riley looked at Milo. "Dinosaur pancakes?"

Milo nodded eagerly. "You make them! They look bad but they taste good."

Kai laughed under his breath. "That's accurate."

Willow wiped beneath her eye. "Every Saturday, if Milo begged enough, you would try to make pancakes shaped like dinosaurs."

"They were shaped like blobs," Lydia said.

"They were dinosaurs," Milo argued.

"They had no legs."

"They were swimming."

Riley let out the smallest laugh.

It was barely there, more breath than sound.

But everyone heard it.

Milo beamed like he had personally cured him.

I had to press my hand against my mouth.

Willow's face crumpled in the softest way, and Kai pulled her gently against his side.

Riley seemed startled by his own laugh. Then he looked at Milo, and something gentle passed between them. Not memory. Not recognition. But maybe the beginning of affection. A thread so thin it could have snapped if anyone touched it too hard.

"I'll have to relearn dinosaur pancakes," Riley said.

Milo nodded solemnly. "I can teach you."

"You can?"

"I watched."

Lydia snorted. "That's terrifying."

Milo ignored her. "You pour the circle, then add a tail."

"What about legs?" Riley asked.

Milo shrugged. "Sometimes."

Riley smiled.

And for one fragile moment, the hospital room changed.

It didn't become happy. Not exactly. There were still machines and bandages and fear sitting in every corner. But the room breathed. That was the only way I could describe it. Everyone inhaled a little easier, as though Riley's smile had opened a window none of us realized had been closed.

Then Lydia reached into the box again and went still.

I knew before she pulled it out.

I knew by the way her eyes flicked toward me.

A photograph.

This one wasn't framed. It was bent slightly at one corner, glossy from being handled too many times.

Lydia held it carefully, then looked at Willow.

Willow looked at me.

My stomach tightened.

"What?" Riley asked.

Lydia hesitated.

Then she handed him the photo.

He looked down.

And there we were.

Riley and me.

We were five years old, standing on the little stage at the community center. He wore the red velvet cape that dragged behind him, and I wore the itchy gold dress with the crooked flower crown. His hand was holding mine. My face was turned toward him, smiling so wide I looked like I had discovered something magical.

Riley stared at the picture for a long time.

Too long.

I couldn't move. I couldn't breathe.

"That's you," Willow said softly. "And Autumn."

Riley's eyes lifted to me.

I tried to smile.

Failed.

"That was the play," he said.

My heart stumbled.

Not because he remembered.

Because he remembered the story.

I nodded. "Yeah. Romeo and Juliet."

His gaze dropped back to the photo.

Milo climbed onto Kai's leg, trying to see. "That's why you're Romeo?"

Riley looked at him. "Apparently."

"You look funny."

"Milo," Willow said.

"What? He does."

Riley smiled faintly. "I agree."

Lydia leaned against the wall, arms crossed, but her eyes were wet again. "You called her Juliet for years after that."

Riley's thumb moved over the photograph.

"Juliet," he said quietly.

My chest hurt so sharply that I looked away.

Hearing him say it should have been beautiful.

Instead, it felt like a ghost wearing his voice.

"You did," Willow said. "Both of you kept the nicknames. We teased you about it constantly."

Kai smiled faintly. "You pretended to hate it."

"Did we?" Riley asked.

"No," I said softly.

His eyes found mine.

I swallowed.

"We didn't really hate it."

The room quieted.

Maybe everyone heard the ache in my voice.

Maybe they remembered what Riley didn't.

That somewhere along the way, Romeo and Juliet had stopped being a family joke and had become a language only we spoke.

Riley looked back at the photo.

"Can I keep this one?" he asked.

My heart stopped.

Lydia blinked. "Yeah. Of course."

He held it carefully in both hands.

"I want to remember this," he said.

No one said anything.

Because what was there to say to that?

He wanted to remember.

And we wanted him to remember so badly that it felt like prayer had become a second pulse inside the room.

Willow sat beside him after that and took out the rest of the box piece by piece. A worn paperback from the bookstore where he worked. A keychain shaped like a fox that I had given him two birthdays ago because he always said it looked "dramatically suspicious." A baseball cap from a family vacation. A bracelet Milo had made with beads that spelled RILEY in crooked letters. An old birthday card from Lydia where she had written, You're annoying but I'd probably keep you.

Riley accepted each thing like it was sacred.

But the photograph of us stayed in his lap.

I tried not to look at it.

I failed.

Lydia noticed, because of course she did. She came to stand beside my chair while Willow and Kai talked quietly with Riley about one of the photos.

"You okay?" she asked under her breath.

I nodded.

She gave me a look.

I sighed. "No."

"Yeah."

Her shoulder brushed mine.

For a moment, neither of us spoke.

Then she whispered, "He asked about you last night."

I looked up quickly. "What?"

"After everyone left and you went to get some chips from the vending machine. Before Mom and Dad finally went home. He asked why you looked sad when he said your name."

My throat tightened. "What did you say?"

Lydia's face softened. "I said because you missed him."

I looked back at Riley.

He was listening to Willow explain something about a beach trip, his brows drawn together in concentration, the photo of us still held carefully in one hand.

"I do," I whispered.

Lydia nodded. "I know."

And that was the cruelest part.

Everyone knew.

Everyone in that room knew I missed a boy who was sitting right in front of me.

Milo climbed onto the edge of Riley's bed a few minutes later, despite Willow immediately telling him to be careful. He didn't crawl all the way up, just rested his chin near Riley's blanket and pointed at the photo in his hand.

"Is Autumn your princess?"

I choked on air.

Lydia burst into a laugh that sounded half like a sob.

Kai coughed into his fist.

Willow's eyes widened. "Milo."

"What?" Milo blinked up at all of us. "If he was Romeo and she was Juliet."

Riley looked at me.

I looked anywhere else.

My face was burning.

"That's a good question," Riley said, and there was something almost teasing in his voice.

My eyes snapped back to him.

He looked just as surprised as I felt, like the words had slipped out before he thought too hard about them.

For one second, he sounded like himself.

Not completely. Not enough.

But close.

A tiny piece of Riley, shining through the fog.

"She was not my princess," he said, glancing down at Milo. "Apparently, she was my wife."

Milo gasped.

I stared at him.

Lydia pressed both hands over her mouth.

Willow started laughing and crying at the same time.

Kai looked at the ceiling like he was silently thanking every star above us for one ridiculous joke.

Riley's smile faded a little when he saw everyone's reaction, not because he was upset, but because he seemed to understand that he had done something important without meaning to.

"Was that something I would've said?" he asked.

I nodded, tears blurring my vision.

"Yeah," I whispered. "Exactly."

His eyes stayed on mine.

For once, he didn't say he was sorry. For once, he didn't look away. He only held the photograph a little tighter and said, "Then maybe I'm still in here somewhere."

The room went silent.

Willow covered her mouth.

Lydia looked down.

Kai rested his hand on Milo's curls.

And I sat there with my heart breaking and healing and breaking all over again.

Because maybe Riley was right.

Maybe he was still in there somewhere. Maybe memory could be lost without love disappearing completely. Maybe the boy I knew hadn't vanished.

Maybe he was only buried beneath bruises and darkness and all the places the mind went when it was trying to survive.

I wanted to believe that.

God, I wanted to believe it more than anything.

But as Riley looked down at the photograph of two five-year-olds pretending to be Romeo and Juliet, I realized something that scared me almost as much as losing him had.

If pieces of him were still there, then maybe one day his memories would come back.

Maybe he would remember the play.

The nicknames. The childhood. The laughter. The secrets. And maybe he would remember that four nights before the accident, I told him I loved him.

Maybe he would remember that he didn't love me back.

I should have wanted that anyway. I should have wanted every memory returned to him, even the ones that hurt me. And I did. Of course I did.

But sitting beside him in that hospital room, watching him hold our beginning in his hands like it was something precious he wanted to keep, I felt the smallest, most shameful part of my heart whisper a terrible thing.

What if he only finds his way back to me because he doesn't remember why he never chose me before?

I hated myself for thinking it. I hated myself even more because I couldn't make the thought disappear.

Riley looked up then, as though he could feel me staring.

His eyes met mine.

He didn't know me.

Not really. Not yet.

But he smiled anyway.

Soft. Tired.

Almost familiar.

And because I was weak, because I loved him, because hope was a cruel little thing that refused to die no matter how many times it was buried, I smiled back.

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