By the time we got back to Riley's house, Milo had changed his mind about what he wanted to carve into his pumpkin four times.

First, it was still going to be a vampire. Then it was going to be a vampire with wings, which Lydia tried to explain was technically just a bat. Milo argued that vampires and bats were completely different things, and the argument lasted for most of the drive home.

Somewhere between the pumpkin patch and Riley's neighborhood, the vampire became a werewolf, the werewolf became some kind of monster, and by the time Kai pulled into the driveway, Milo had decided he was going to carve a normal face because, according to him, he was tired of making difficult decisions.

"I understand," Riley said solemnly as he climbed out of the car. "Life is hard."

"Very hard," Milo agreed.

"You're five," Lydia reminded him.

Milo looked at her. "And?"

Riley laughed as he walked around to the back of the car to help Kai unload the pumpkins, and I stayed where I was for a few seconds longer than necessary, watching him.

It had been a good day, and that was the strange part. It had been a genuinely good day. There had been moments when I had forgotten. Not completely, because I didn't think I was capable of completely forgetting anything anymore, but enough. There had been minutes at a time when I wasn't thinking about the accident or the hospital or the journals. There had been moments when Riley laughed and I laughed with him, and I didn't immediately remember that he didn't know me. I had simply been happy.

Then I would remember.

I always remembered.

"Autumn."

I blinked and looked toward the back of the car. Riley was standing there holding his pumpkin against his chest while everyone else had already started walking toward the house.

"What?"

"Are you coming?"

"Oh." I looked around and realized how long I had been standing there. "Yeah."

Riley tilted his head slightly. "Where did you go?"

"What?"

"You disappeared."

"I'm standing right here."

"You know what I mean."

I looked at him and felt something in my chest tighten. I wondered how someone who didn't remember me could already be learning me again. He didn't know all the different ways I went quiet or what each silence meant. He didn't know the difference between when I was tired, sad, anxious, angry, or simply lost inside my own thoughts, but somehow, he had noticed anyway.

"I was thinking."

"About?"

I smiled faintly. "That's classified."

"Seems suspicious."

"Maybe I'm suspicious."

"I knew it."

I rolled my eyes and walked past him, and Riley followed behind me, continuing to ask what I had been thinking about until I told him he was never going to find out.

"That sounds unfair."

"Life is hard." I said.

"Very hard!" Milo called from the front porch.

I smiled.

Inside, the house still smelled like pumpkin spice and vanilla. I wondered if I would ever walk through that front door again without thinking about the tiny smile that had appeared on Riley's face the first time he came home from the hospital. The smell had known him even when he didn't know the house, and there was something so beautiful and heartbreaking about that.

Willow immediately started giving everyone instructions. The pumpkins went on the kitchen table. Newspapers needed to be spread everywhere. The carving tools stayed away from Milo unless an adult was helping him. Lydia was apparently not allowed to touch anything sharp either, although that rule had nothing to do with age and everything to do with an incident from three years ago that no one would explain to Riley.

"I'm twenty-two," Lydia complained.

"And yet," Willow replied.

"That doesn't mean anything."

"It means everything."

Riley looked at me. "What happened?"

"I'm not allowed to talk about it." I said.

Lydia pointed at me. "Correct."

"Was it bad?" Riley asked.

"No."

"Yes," everyone except Lydia answered at the exact same time.

She stared around the kitchen. "Traitors."

Riley laughed as he set his pumpkin on the table, and it took nearly twenty minutes just to prepare everything.

Kai covered the table with newspapers. Willow collected bowls for the pumpkin seeds. Lydia argued that roasting pumpkin seeds was pointless because nobody actually liked them, and Willow took personal offense to the statement. Milo kept asking when he could start even though he had already been told approximately seventeen times.

Riley stood beside his pumpkin, watching everything.

I noticed.

Of course I noticed.

He looked happy, but there was uncertainty beneath it. Everyone else knew what they were doing. They knew where the newspapers were kept, which bowls Willow always used for the pumpkin seeds, where Kai stored the carving tools, and which chair everyone usually sat in. They knew the steps to a dance Riley had forgotten, and once again, he was standing in the middle of his own life trying to learn how to move with everyone else.

I walked over and stood beside him.

"You cut the top off first."

He looked at me. "I know how to carve a pumpkin."

"Do you?"

"Obviously." He replied.

"Interesting." I said.

"What?"

"You didn't know pumpkins were fruit thirty minutes ago."

"I did know that."

"You remembered it."

"Exactly."

"Then why did you look surprised?"

"I was surprised that I knew it."

"That sounds convenient." I said.

Riley narrowed his eyes and reached for one of the carving tools.

I stared at him.

"What?" he asked.

"You're holding it wrong."

He looked down at his hand. "No, I'm not."

"Yes, you are."

"How do you hold a pumpkin carving tool wrong?"

"Like that."

"That is not an answer."

I reached over and adjusted his hand without thinking. My fingers wrapped around his, and the second they did, I froze. Riley did too. For a moment, neither of us moved. I could feel the warmth of his hand beneath mine, and I hated how something that used to be so ordinary had become something I noticed so painfully.

I quickly pulled my hand away. "Sorry."

Riley stared at me. "You apologize a lot."

"You've mentioned that."

"You still do it."

"I'm working on it."

"Are you?"

"No." I admitted.

He smiled, and I looked down at my pumpkin before he could see the embarrassment on my face.

"Just don't stab yourself." I mumbled.

"That seems like good advice."

"You would think."

Riley looked at me. "Did I stab myself before?"

"Twice."

His eyes widened. "Twice?"

"One time was barely a stab."

"What is barely a stab?"

"You poked your thumb."

"And the other time?"

"You don't want to know."

"I absolutely want to know."

"You stabbed your hand."

"How badly?"

"Badly enough that Willow banned you from carving pumpkins for the rest of the night."

Riley stared down at the carving tool in his hand. "Maybe I shouldn't do this."

I laughed. "You survived."

"Apparently barely."

"You were dramatic."

"I'm beginning to think that was actually you."

"Excuse me?"

Riley smiled, and I rolled my eyes as I moved toward my own pumpkin.

The next two hours were complete chaos. Milo changed his design again. Lydia somehow got pumpkin guts in her hair. Kai carved his pumpkin with such perfect precision that Riley accused him of using measurements, only to discover that he actually was. Willow spent more time taking pictures than carving her own pumpkin, and I carved a little cottage surrounded by stars.

Riley looked over at mine once I had finished carving the outline.

"That's predictable."

I stared at him. "You don't even remember me."

"I know enough."

My hand stopped moving.

I looked at him.

He didn't seem to realize what he had said, or maybe he did and simply didn't understand what those three words would do to me. Either way, I couldn't think of anything to say.

"What are you carving?" I asked instead.

Riley immediately covered the front of his pumpkin with both arms. "You can't see."

"Why?"

"It's a surprise."

"For who?"

"Everyone."

"Is it inappropriate?"

"No."

"Scary?"

"No."

"Ugly?"

"Probably."

I tried to look around him, but he moved in front of the pumpkin.

"Riley."

"Autumn."

"Let me see."

"No."

"You're annoying."

"You've told me."

"I mean it."

"I know."

I reached toward the pumpkin, but Riley grabbed it and turned away from me. I stared at him for a second before smiling because, for one moment, I forgot again. I forgot that this was different. I forgot that Riley didn't remember all the other years we had sat at this table. I forgot that I had spent the last week mourning someone who was sitting right beside me.

For one moment, he was just Riley, and I was just Autumn.

Eventually, after nearly two hours, everyone finished. Milo's pumpkin had somehow become something that looked like a vampire, a werewolf, and a normal face all at the same time. Lydia's villain pumpkin had enormous angry eyes and one crooked tooth. Kai's was annoyingly perfect, Willow carved a cat sitting on a crescent moon, and mine had a little cottage beneath a sky of stars.

Then Riley turned his pumpkin around.

I stared at it.

He had carved Romeo and Juliet.

Two tiny figures stood beneath a moon. One had ridiculously long hair, and the other appeared to be wearing some kind of cape. It was uneven, slightly crooked, and almost impossible to understand without an explanation, but I knew what it was immediately.

I looked at Riley. "You made Romeo and Juliet."

He shrugged. "You said I tried it before."

"Yeah."

"And apparently it was terrible."

"Horrifying."

"So I wanted to try again."

My heart hurt.

"Is it better?" he asked.

I looked at the pumpkin for another moment before shaking my head. "No."

Riley laughed.

I smiled. "It's somehow worse."

"That seems impossible."

"You gave Romeo a cape."

"I didn't know how to carve a shirt!"

"That doesn't explain the cape."

"It's romantic."

"It's concerning."

He laughed again, and I looked back at the pumpkin. Romeo and Juliet. Again. Maybe that was what Riley and I were doing too. Trying again.

Except he didn't know it.

By the time everything was cleaned up and the pumpkins were lined along the front porch, the house had grown quiet. Milo had fallen asleep first. He had lasted until approximately halfway through cleaning before curling up on the couch beneath a blanket. Riley wasn't far behind him. He sat down beside Milo while everyone else finished cleaning, and sometime during the next twenty minutes, his head fell against the back of the couch and his eyes closed.

I didn't notice immediately, but when I did, I stopped.

Riley was asleep.

The television played quietly in front of him. Milo was curled up beside him beneath a blanket, and Riley's arm rested along the back of the couch. He looked tired, but peaceful.

I smiled.

Then I looked at the clock.

It was late.

Later than I had realized.

"I should probably go home."

Willow looked up from the kitchen. "You don't have to."

"I know."

I glanced toward Riley. "But my parents probably want me back eventually."

Kai smiled. "Your father has texted me twice."

My eyes widened. "What?"

"He wanted to make sure you were still alive."

I laughed. "That sounds like him."

Willow walked toward me. "You can stay if you want."

I looked at Riley again. Then I looked toward the brown journal still sitting on the counter.

We hadn't told them. I had known we wouldn't.

Maybe Riley had known too.

The day had been too good. Maybe that was selfish. Maybe we should have told them the truth. Maybe we should have sat them down the moment we returned from the pumpkin patch and told them everything we had discovered.

But Riley had smiled today.

Really smiled.

He had laughed. He had listened to stories about himself. He had spent the afternoon with his family. He had carved a terrible Romeo and Juliet pumpkin.

Tomorrow could hold the truth.

Tonight, I wanted him to sleep.

"I'll go home."

Willow nodded. "Okay."

I hugged her. "Thank you for letting me come."

She pulled back and looked at me as though I had said something ridiculous. "You don't thank me for that."

I smiled. "Right."

"You're coming every year."

I swallowed. "Okay."

Kai hugged me next, and Lydia followed after him.

"You better come back tomorrow," she whispered.

I looked at her. "Why?"

"Because he's different when you're here."

My heart stopped. "Lydia."

"I'm serious."

I looked toward Riley. "He doesn't remember me."

"I know," she said softly. "But he trusts you."

I swallowed. "I'll come back."

"Good."

I hugged her again before turning toward the stairs.

"I'm going home," I called quietly.

Willow nodded. "Good night, sweetheart."

"Good night."

Kai waved. "Tell your parents we apologize for stealing you."

"They're used to it."

Lydia smiled, and I walked toward the front door.

I reached for the handle but then stopped. I looked back.

Riley was still asleep.

I could leave. I should leave.

He wouldn't know.

But I couldn't.

I walked back toward the couch slowly and quietly. The room had grown still around me. Willow, Kai, and Lydia were talking softly behind me, but I barely heard them as I stopped beside Riley.

He looked younger when he slept.

Maybe because there was no confusion on his face. There was no fear, no frustration, no searching for something he couldn't find. He didn't look like a boy trapped inside a life he couldn't remember.

He just looked like Riley.

My Riley.

Except he wasn't.

Not anymore.

I looked at him for a long time and thought about the hospital. I thought about the first time he opened his eyes and looked at me like I was a stranger. I thought about the question that had torn my entire world apart.

Who are you?

I thought about the journal and the words hidden inside it. I thought about the pumpkin patch. I thought about the way he had held my hand during my anxiety attack without knowing why. I thought about the apple cider, the photographs, the stories, and all the tiny pieces of him that kept appearing when I least expected them.

I wanted to believe they meant he was coming back.

But I didn't know.

Maybe he never would.

Maybe the old Riley only existed in photographs now. Maybe he lived in journals and stories and memories. Maybe the only place left for him to exist was inside everyone who remembered who he had been.

Maybe the only place he still existed completely was inside me.

My throat tightened as I stepped a little closer to the couch.

"Good night, Romeo," I whispered softly. "I'll meet you in my dreams."

My voice almost broke.

I smiled anyway.

It was a sad little smile because I knew exactly what those words meant, even if no one else did.

That was the only place I could still find him.

The Riley who remembered me.

The Riley who knew exactly how I took my coffee and which songs made me cry. The Riley who knew where I went when I needed to think even though I had never told him. The Riley who knew the difference between my happy silences and my sad ones. The Riley who knew when my bouncing leg meant I was bored and when it meant I couldn't breathe. The Riley who knew how to hold my shaking hands and how to make me laugh when I wanted to disappear. The Riley who had called me Juliet since we were five years old.

The Riley who knew me.

I could see him there.

In my dreams, I could meet him beneath the trees where we used to sit. I could walk beside him through every memory he had forgotten. I could hear him laugh at jokes he no longer remembered and listen to him tell stories I was tired of being the only one who knew. I could talk to him without explaining everything that had come before.

In my dreams, I didn't have to introduce myself.

I didn't have to tell him our stories.

I didn't have to show him photographs and wait for recognition that never came. I didn't have to wonder if every familiar thing he did was a memory returning or simply a coincidence.

In my dreams, he would look at me and know.

He would smile the way he always used to.

He would roll his eyes when I was dramatic and complain when I stole his apple cider. He would tease me when I apologized too much and hold my hands when they started shaking. He would know every version of me I had ever been because he had been there for all of them.

In my dreams, he would look at me and smile.

There you are, Juliet.

My eyes burned.

I looked away before I started crying.

"Good night," I whispered again.

Then I turned toward the door. I opened the door, and cold air touched my face as I stepped outside and quietly closed it behind me.

The pumpkins glowed along the porch.

Milo's tiny vampire. Lydia's villain. Kai's perfect face. Willow's cat beneath the moon. My little cottage surrounded by stars.

And Riley's Romeo and Juliet.

I stood there for a moment, looking at them.

Then I started walking home.

That night, when I finally climbed into my bed and closed my eyes, I hoped I would find him.

Not the stranger who had looked at me from a hospital bed. Not the boy learning how to live inside a life he couldn't remember.

My Romeo.

The one who remembered his Juliet. The one I missed more than words could ever explain.

I hoped he was waiting for me somewhere inside my dreams because, for now, that was the only place I knew how to find him.