Kai

I paced across the floor in my chamber with an anxious gait.

“Hello again, Dax…” I trailed off. “No, too mysterious.”

I turned on my heels and continued my rapid mumbling.

“I hope you are well, old friend…”

I remained silent, allowing the option to weigh against my consciousness.

“No no, too forward.”

I sighed and fell back onto one of the divans in my chamber. 

“I am a lost cause.” I whispered with an arm thrown over my eyes.

“You are way beyond a lost cause.” Harding said with a laugh as he lifted my limb to reveal my exasperated expression.

I rolled my eyes and moved my outstretched legs onto the floor so he could sit next to me.

“I was wondering how long it would take for you to make your way up here.” I laughed as he made himself comfortable next to me. “I have to look somewhat presentable after all.”

“Well there isn’t must I can do for this.” He laughed as he twisted my yet to be washed hair between his fingertips. “But I’m sure you planned of fixing that before we get you dressed, correct?”

I nodded and laid my head back. We remained in a comfortable silence, one shared between good friends.

“And who is the special lady you were practicing your introduction for?” He teased.

I tensed, and he seemed to take notice of my immediate discomfort.

“It was near impossible to not hear you contemplating. So who is she?”

I relaxed, knowing my secret was not revealed. As much as I wished for Harding to be someone I could confide in, I knew that the outcome would more than likely be detrimental to my image and perhaps beyond that. Grohera was a dangerous place for someone such as I. I had to lie to him, as much as I despised it.

“No one you must concern yourself with.” I was careful in choosing my words, painfully replacing pronouns. “She may not even be in attendance.”

I was hopeful that I could cover my mistake with the guise of this fake woman not attending the party due to some mystery reason. Though it was miserable to lie to Harding.

“Well if she is in attendance, you won’t have a chance looking as you do. I will call someone to run a bath for you and then we will have you looking irresistible for this woman.”

I agreed passively and he rushed out on his mission to find a wandering maid, though I assumed it would take him quite some time to find one who had not already busied themselves with preparations for tonight. So in my solitude I paced across the long carpet stretched in front of my mirror. Often, I found myself glancing at my reflection, disappointed in the mess I saw glaring in return.

"Why would anyone care for this?" I questioned with a heavy heart. A part of myself prayed that I would get an answer in return, that my reflection could reassure me in my time of need, but it remained ever so silent.

My eyes drifted over the long body that slouched in front of me.

His hair was a stringy, dark mess that tumbled over his shoulders in a wild fashion and his eyes carried dark circles like crescent moons. He looked tired, alone. I wondered if he would ever understand the life he had been given.

"Your highness? Your tailor sent me to run you a bath." A gentle voice called to me from beyond the door.

"Proceed." I called, softly rubbing balled fists against my cheek.

Near inaudibly, the young maid prepared my bath water while I sat still and immobile on the edge of my bed. After my father passed, I refused to move into his chamber and simply had the staff accommodate to my decision. They were unhappy but ultimately dealt with their irritation with little resistance.

I felt the young woman’s eyes bore through my body with an intense curiosity and I felt myself shrink under her gaze. She wondered why it looked as if I had been crying. She took in every detail of my disheveled appearance, committing it to memory so she could recount the tale of the woeful king to entertain her friends in the oncoming hours. My fingers shook from the desire to lash out at her, but I stayed silent for the fear of becoming like my father. 

“Your bath is ready, highness.” She shook herself from the trance she had found herself in while observing her distraught king and spoke with a growing urgency. She wanted to be sure she would not forget a single detail. 

“Thank you.” I responded, but by the time I had uttered the final syllable she had fleeted from my chamber. 

I shook the worry from my mind, too exhausted to carry it any longer.

My skin disturbed the scented water, distorting my tired reflection as I undressed and lowered myself in the warm water.

I wanted, more than anything, for the celebration to go well and without trouble, but I couldn't shake the creeping anxieties that told me it would be far from peaceful. Afterall, Grohera and Madeo were grand enemies. Would a declaration of peace be enough to sate the bloodlust that my people held for their most hated adversaries?

I pushed the worry I held to the side and quickly washed the oil from my hair and the dirt from my skin, focusing on looking my best for the celebration to come. The flower scented water clung to my skin and rolled down in small droplets as I finally finished and exited the large tub.

I wrapped a soft towel around my waist and strode away from the tub. Sometime during my bath, Harding had reentered my room and made himself comfortable on the corner of my bed.

"You don't look like a drowned rat anymore, thank the heavens." He said with a snort.

"It was not that bad." I mumbled while twisting my damp hair between my fingertips.

He stood quickly and gathered the clothes that I would be wearing. "Okay, now put these on and then we can worry about your hair."

I took the clothes gently and slipped behind the divider in the room.

"You know, Kai, you can always tell me about what is going on with you. You have been acting strange and distant. I cannot help but to worry." Harding spoke gently, as if afraid he would offend me.

I sighed. Every part of my being begged me to tell Harding about Dax and all the worry that was eating away at my mind, but as I tried to make my mouth create the sounds I found that I couldn't bring myself to. I was so exhausted of feeling as if I had no one, but I was too cowardly to take the chance.

"King is a very important title." I whispered, defeat dripping from my tongue. "Sometimes I worry that I will mess it all up.

He began to scold me for thinking that way, but his voice slowly drifted to the back of mind where it was replaced by a single person.